Does Chris really think we are jealous of him? -

[PolterBob]

I remember his goofy little Minstrel Show a few years back, where he sang about being "troll-tortured by bullies who are jealous of his material things".

Let us discuss what really consists of Chris' material things, and decide if any of it is even worth being jealous about.

 

[CatParty]

Everything outside of the dogs at 14 Branchland is garbage. There is no material possession of Chris's that can be deemed of value. To say that people that "bully" him are jealous of his crap is just a child's justification.

 

[Saney]

I'd say yeah, he really does think that we're jealous of him. I mean, how could we not be? He is the world famous creator of Sonichu after all.

 

[calicojack]

We created a whole wiki and forum dedicated to this man. Yeah, I think we're a bit jealous.

 

[Organic Fapcup]

The way Chris was raised, he was taught that he's perfect and everything he owns or creates is too. That, combined with his childish way of thinking, makes him believe the "If they bully you, it's because they're jealous." justification CatParty mentioned. So yeah, he thinks that, even though we have little to no reasons to be jealous of him.

 

[pickleniggo]

I'm jealous of his ability to sit on his fat ass playing vidya all day while still collecting an income.
Other than that, NOPE. I have nicer clothes, a nicer car, and clean home - not to mention actual friends and a JERK to call my own. And I accomplished this all on my own.

 

[Dunsparce]

Let's see

-Chris gets payed to exist. I like actually working to earn my money, so I'm not jealous of that.
-Chris owns far more videogames than me, but he buys mostly shovelware crap(Clearly Wheel of Fortune for PS3 pushes the system to its limits), so not jealous of that
-Chris owns a lot of toys I only wish I could've had when I was growing up, but I'm not ten I'm twenty-three so I'm not jealous of that
-Chris has no social skills of social life. Of course I wouldn't be jealous of that not jealous of that

I cannot think of anything about the guy that would be enviable in any way to me.

 

[bradsternum]

"DERP DERP I AM BETTER THAN CHRIS DERP DERP"

 

[cypocraphy]

In his warped mind,it's a possibility. he thinks he's some kind of multi-talented,sexy,super-human being.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I think there are a few specific categories into which Fatty fits his perception that we are jealous:

-He thinks he has amazing drawing/artistic skills, and that we could only wish we had them. He really seems to think that his art skills are top-tier, better than anything else in the world. I suspect this is because a teacher in 3rd grade or something said "good job" when he was instructed to color inside the lines on a sheet and did so. He has a habit of taking one positive thing said by one person umpteen years ago and deciding that it is the objective and immutable truth, and anyone saying different can be ignored no matter how often it comes up.
-Fatty really, truly believes that he is a handsome adonis. He looks at other men and goes "ugh, ugly" all the time. The MTV thing is only the most recent example of him deciding he is objectively better looking than others. He really seems to believe that the photo MTV showed is "sexy". Who thinks its sexy? No one, unless Jackie told him it was when she received it, and that shouldn't count because Chris has decided to believe Jackie was a troll. But it's more of having shit both ways for him. X is a troll and everything they say is a lie, except for the one thing they said once that I liked, which was proven to be a lie but I'll still believe it. Conversely, Jackie told him plainly how fat and slovenly he is and how diseased his skin looked, he just decided to pretend she didn't say it because he'd rather believe a lie, even if the lie doesn't magically make girls come up to him.
-Lastly, of course, is his tugboat. He seems to think people are legitimately jealous of his $800 or so a month and that he has a bunch of video games. Everyone has long since figured out that he has some serious money problems and that he can barely afford to feed himself properly because all his money goes into his PSN addiction or is taken by Barb so she can feed her hoarding addiction. He hates his home life, yet he assumes others are jealous and would want to have his home life.

 

[Saney]

Let's see

-Chris gets payed to exist. I like actually working to earn my money, so I'm not jealous of that.
-Chris owns far more videogames than me, but he buys mostly shovelware crap(Clearly Wheel of Fortune for PS3 pushes the system to its limits), so not jealous of that
-Chris owns a lot of toys I only wish I could've had when I was growing up, but I'm not ten I'm twenty-three so I'm not jealous of that
-Chris has no social skills of social life. Of course I wouldn't be jealous of that not jealous of that

I cannot think of anything about the guy that would be enviable in any way to me.

Ah, but the question isn't "Does Chris have stuff for us o be jealous of?", it's does Chris think we're jealous of him.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, the Hulkster is not jealous of anything Chris has. The Hulkster has the World Wrestling Federation championship, the 24 inch pythons, and lots of vitamins. And most importantly, the Hulkster has the millions of little Hulksters out there.

 

[pickleniggo]

Brother, the Hulkster is not jealous of anything Chris has. The Hulkster has the World Wrestling Federation championship, the 24 inch pythons, and lots of vitamins. And most importantly, the Hulkster has the millions of little Hulksters out there.

I'm proud to say that Hulk has shown me how to be a True American. Chris should be jealous of that alone.

 

[nathan_grantham]

Not jealous of anything he has.

If there's one thing none of us envy is his online/offline infamy.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, the Hulkster is not jealous of anything Chris has. The Hulkster has the World Wrestling Federation championship, the 24 inch pythons, and lots of vitamins. And most importantly, the Hulkster has the millions of little Hulksters out there.

I'm proud to say that Hulk has shown me how to be a True American. Chris should be jealous of that alone.

Glad to hear, brother!

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

I started working on this article regarding Chris's Transformer collection a while ago. Now seems as good a time as any to post it.

I recently found myself going back through the photographs of Chris’s room (archived here at the CWCki: http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris%27s_room ). I’ve realized before that Chris is a Transformers fan, but I’d never really taken the time to look at his collection. Until today.

I, myself, am a bit of an action figure connoisseur. I’ve bought and sold many action figures in the past. I enjoy the hobby, as it gives me a chance to see some unique pieces of popular culture and to occasionally even turn a profit. One of my main focus points are Transformers, although I’ve also dealt in G.I. Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Voltron, Macross, and video games. Vintage Transformer collecting is a fast-growing hobby among the late twenties/early thirties male demographic, and boxed figures—or even loose figures with all their accessories—demand hefty prices on eBay and other online second-hand retailers.

That said, I’ve looked at Chris’s Transformer collection this morning and identified as many figures as I can, as well as identifying original retail price points.

Animated Bumblebee—released 2008. Original retail price: $10.

Animated Jetstorm and Jetfire—released 2008. Original retail price: $27.

Animated “Legends” Bumblebee—a smaller-scale release than the former. Original retail price: $6.

Animated Prowl—released 2008. Original retail price: $10.

Animated Soundwave—released 2008. Original retail price: $10.

Anniversary Optimus Prime—released in 2004. Original retail price: $75. This is Chris’s much-maligned Optimus Prime figure, which he has held in various videos to reassure himself that he’s not gay. Of interesting note is that several different versions of this figure were produced. The original Japanese version had longer smokestacks on the shoulders which were snipped for the American release due to safety regulations. Later American re-releases of this figure in 2007 would be comprised of all plastic, with no die cast pieces, and a grey gun to match the cartoon. This later production pieces Chris owns an original 2004 American release, as noted by the shortened smoke stacks and black rifle. Both the original version of this figure and its later plastic re-release would see heavy clearance price slashing.

Armada Dead End—released in 2002. Original retail price: $10. This figure was a noted “shelf-warmer,” often being seen at clearance prices towards the end of the Transformers: Armada toy run.

Armada Megatron—released 2002, original retail price: $27.

Armada Optimus Prime—released 2002, original retail price: $49. Of note is this figure can combine with two others (Armada Jetfire and Armada and Armada Overload, which both retailed for approx. $27.) Chris, of course, has all three parts to this figure.

Armada Unicron—released in 2003, with re-releases in 2005 and 2010. Original retail price: $50.

Beast Wars Transmetal Optimus Primal—released in 1998 at an original retail price of roughly $17.

Cybertron Bushgaurd—released 2005, original retail price: $7.

Cybertron Clocker—released 2005, original retail price: $7.

Cybetron “Cybertron Defense” Hot Spot—released late 2005, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Evac—released late 2005, original retail price: $27.

Cybertron Longrack—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Megatron—released 2005, original retail price: $49.

Cybertron Optimus Prime—released 2005, original retail price: $49.

Cybertron Overdrive—released 2005, original retail price: $10. Of interesting note, this Transformer has a china.

Cybertron Primus—released 2006, original retail price: $49.

Cybertron Red Alert—released 2005, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Scourge—released 2005, original retail price: $27.

Cybertron Soundwave—released 2005, original retail price: $27.

Cybertron Snarl—released 2005, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Thunderclash—released 2005, original retail price: $10. This is another Transformer with china.

Cybertron Thundecracker—released 2005, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Unicron—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Vector Prime—released 2005, original retail price: $27.

Cybertron Wing Saber—released 2005, original retail price: $27.

Generation One Action Master Bumblebee—released in 1990. Original retail price: about $7. Of interesting note, Chris seems to be missing the heli-pack/gun for this figure, denoting that he either lost it as a child (probable) or bought this figure from a second-hand source.

Generation Two Bumblebee—released in 1993, this is a re-release of the original 1984 Bumblebee figure, except in a gold paint scheme. Original retail price: approx. $5.

Generation Two Optimus Prime—released in 1993, this figure is essentially a re-issue of the original Optimus Prime toy from 1984 except that it comes with a black trailer instead of a grey one and some additional missile launchers. Original retail price: $30. Chris probably received this as a gift as a child.

Movie Bumblebee—released in 2007. This appears to be the “Classic Camaro” toy, rather than the “Camaro Concept” release. Original retail price: $10.
Movie “Camaro Concept” release—released in 2007, and made to portray Bumblebee after he upgrades his body.

Movie Optimus Prime—released in 2007 to coincide with the release of the first Transformers live action movie. This appears to be the “Leader class” Prime, original retail price: $49.

My First Transformers “Car”—this was a set of three figures released under the “Playskool” label in 1985 and were transformers marketed for younger children. Chris probably has had this since childhood.

Revenge of the Fallen Mudflap and Skids—released in 2009 to coincide with the release of the “Revenge of the Fallen” film. This is the ice cream truck release.

Revenge of the Fallen Soundwave—released in 2009 to coincide with the release of the second live action Transformers film. Original retail price: $10.
Transformers “Classics” Bumblebee—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Transformers “Classics” Rodimus—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Transformers “Classics” Starscream—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Transformers Collection Megatron—released in Asia in 2003, this is the infamous “Megatron Pistol.” Chris has kept the box atop his entertainment center, which is how I was able to identify the figure. Of interesting note, it is now illegal to sell this figure inside the US unless it has been fitted with an orange barrel plug. Chris probably bought this from an online toy dealer soon after its release, likely paying between $120-180 before shipping.
Universe Cosmos—released 2009, original retail price: $7.

Universe Soundwave—released in 2008, this is a re-issue of the original Soundwave figure from 1984. It was available at Toys R’ Us and came packaged with two cassette figures: Laserbeak and Ravage. This figure’s chest was deepened from the original’s so that it could hold two cassettes at once instead of only one. This, of course, means that the demand and prices for the original and have only increased.

Universe “War for Cybertron” Bumblebee—released 2010 to coincide with the release of the “War for Cybertron” video game. original retail price: $10.

Universe “War for Cybertron” Optimus Prime—released 2010, original retail price: $10.

Keep in mind that this is only an assessment, and there were many more figures that I couldn’t identify due to the resolution of the photos/overcrowding of Chris’s shelves. Chris has undoubtedly grown his toy collection since these photos were taken, as well.

Chris primary mistake as a toy collector is conflating the value of his collection and, as a result, falling into a number of first-time collector pitfalls. Many first-time collectors see the resale value of toys that they owned as a child and mistakenly assume that ifthey still had that toy, they would be able to get that much money for it. The truth is often much, much different, as I will illustrate below.

The first and foremost of Chris’s collecting troubles is that he has removed his toys from their packaging. Although this is really only a problem if you intend to resell your toys instead of using them for personal enjoyment, Chris has tried to resell his toys on several occasions (as noted in Chris’s emails to Jackie regarding his Power Ranger figures.)

Secondly, Chris has only purchased figures that are immediately available at retail, rather than finding toys that have collectable value. This has hurt the value of Chris’s collection in a number of ways. Instead of using his tugboat to purchase an imported reissue of Soundwave or an original, Chris went to Toys R’Us and purchased the immediately available reissue Soundwave in the box. Unfortunately for Chris, Hasbro (the company that produces Transformers in the US) has a nasty tendency to over-produce stock. This means that Chris’s Soundwave is currently reselling for $65-$75 mint in box, whereas the lower-run San Diego Comic Con reissue Soundwave is reselling for closer to $200, or the Japanese 2003 Soundwave reissue selling for $150 (source: Amazon.com, thinkgeek.com).

Another example of this is Chris’s Unicron figure. Originally released in 2003, Hasbro marketed Unicron to collectors as “the toy you waited seventeen years for.” However, they underestimated the number of adult collectors and over-estimated their product’s viability. The next year, Hasbro resorted to painting unsold Unicron figures black and reselling them for their “Energon” line, and eventually abandoned even that pretense and just dumped the original orange ones in “Energon” packaging. Orange Unicrons could be found at retail well into the year 2006 and even 2007, often carrying huge clearance slash tags. I, myself, find them all over the place at second hand and thrift shops. Perhaps ironically, the black Unicrons now demand a much higher after-market value (source: shmax.com.)

Third, Chris is not taking very good care of the toys he already has in his collection. His figures have no protection from dust or other debris from the Chandler house. Megatron has had his trigger pulled repeatedly to shoot that no-good Adam Stackhouse. Optimus has been thrown into a backpack and carted around Charlottseville. Unicron’s been secured to the wall through some unknown means.

Fourth, Chris has limited his collection by limiting himself to what he’s exposed. Without exception, Chris’s figures are either featured in Transformers cartoons or the live-action movies. However, the Transformers market has grown exponentially since the mid-eighties, when the original cartoon went off the air, and now includes comic books, novels, and radio shows. These secondary forms of medium have grown many secondary characters into collector favorites (some examples being Razorbeast, Nightbeat, and Bludgeon from the Beast Wars and Generation One lines.) As a result, the after-market prices for the original toys or even modern toys that are homages to the originals have sky-rocketed in value. Chris has missed this due to his diet of Cartoon Network and Michael Bay.

Chris’s final mistake is the misconception that quantity is greater than quality. The number of Transformers that fill Chris’s shelves that are, essentially, generic. Although markets exist for both the adult collector and for children, Chris seems to gravitate towards the child-geared demographic (the only exceptions being the reissue Soundwave, the Anniversary Optimus Prime, and the Megatron pistol.) The result is that most of his figures have very poor resale value, especially since they are unpackaged, and are scarcely worth the listing fees on eBay. Chris could rectify this easily enough if he were to redirect the priorities of his tugboat, but spending $100 on an eBay auction for a single figure is nowhere near as fulfilling for Chris as buying a new vidya and two off-the-shelf Transformers.

Chris has undoubtedly justified his buying of Transformers and other toys as “it’s not frivolous, it’s an investment.” Due to the pitfalls I’ve outlined, though, Chris’s toy buying habits are anything but. Most tellingly, however, is Chris’s negative feedback rating on eBay: “said package was unopened not true slow ship” for a Transformers Movie 2008 Concept Camaro. Chris probably used a term such as “MOSC” (Mint on Sealed Card) in his eBay title without really understanding what the acronym meant, having just thrown it in there as assumed business jargon. The bottom line is that Chris collects simply due to hoarding behaviors. While he has sold Transformers on eBay in the past, these were mostly bottom shelf dreck that was sold at retail cost, and his actual collection is worth far less than what he paid for it.


So, short answer: Chris probably thinks we're jealous and isn't aware that there's not a thing to be jealous about.

 

[The Joker]

Well he has had over a million fans since he went online.
Right now he just seems to think that the whole world is against him and he is the handsome, sad, and lonely, prince ready for his sweetheart to comfot him with Mcnuggets and hanky panky.

Brother, the Hulkster is not jealous of anything Chris has. The Hulkster has the World Wrestling Federation championship, the 24 inch pythons, and lots of vitamins. And most importantly, the Hulkster has the millions of little Hulksters out there.

We are one in the same my friend. I hve my fans out there who love my jokes, they are to die for.
I have style, a great laugh, and somuch more than anyone can ask for.

 

[Bgheff]

Well he has had over a million fans since he went online.
Right now he just seems to think that the whole world is against him and he is the handsome, sad, and lonely, prince ready for his sweetheart to comfot him with Mcnuggets and hanky panky.

A billion fans you mean. Which makes him the most successful and famous writer/artist ever. At any rate, because of his massive ego the only reason he can consider that he is trolled is because he is so amazing.

 

[JULAY]

I started working on this article regarding Chris's Transformer collection a while ago. Now seems as good a time as any to post it.

TL;DR

So, short answer: Chris probably thinks we're jealous and isn't aware that there's not a thing to be jealous about.

Wow dude, I'll give you this, you sure as shit know your Transformer collecting.

 

[BigAltheGreat921]

I started working on this article regarding Chris's Transformer collection a while ago. Now seems as good a time as any to post it.

I recently found myself going back through the photographs of Chris’s room (archived here at the CWCki: http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris%27s_room ). I’ve realized before that Chris is a Transformers fan, but I’d never really taken the time to look at his collection. Until today.

I, myself, am a bit of an action figure connoisseur. I’ve bought and sold many action figures in the past. I enjoy the hobby, as it gives me a chance to see some unique pieces of popular culture and to occasionally even turn a profit. One of my main focus points are Transformers, although I’ve also dealt in G.I. Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Voltron, Macross, and video games. Vintage Transformer collecting is a fast-growing hobby among the late twenties/early thirties male demographic, and boxed figures—or even loose figures with all their accessories—demand hefty prices on eBay and other online second-hand retailers.

That said, I’ve looked at Chris’s Transformer collection this morning and identified as many figures as I can, as well as identifying original retail price points.

Animated Bumblebee—released 2008. Original retail price: $10.

Animated Jetstorm and Jetfire—released 2008. Original retail price: $27.

Animated “Legends” Bumblebee—a smaller-scale release than the former. Original retail price: $6.

Animated Prowl—released 2008. Original retail price: $10.

Animated Soundwave—released 2008. Original retail price: $10.

Anniversary Optimus Prime—released in 2004. Original retail price: $75. This is Chris’s much-maligned Optimus Prime figure, which he has held in various videos to reassure himself that he’s not gay. Of interesting note is that several different versions of this figure were produced. The original Japanese version had longer smokestacks on the shoulders which were snipped for the American release due to safety regulations. Later American re-releases of this figure in 2007 would be comprised of all plastic, with no die cast pieces, and a grey gun to match the cartoon. This later production pieces Chris owns an original 2004 American release, as noted by the shortened smoke stacks and black rifle. Both the original version of this figure and its later plastic re-release would see heavy clearance price slashing.

Armada Dead End—released in 2002. Original retail price: $10. This figure was a noted “shelf-warmer,” often being seen at clearance prices towards the end of the Transformers: Armada toy run.

Armada Megatron—released 2002, original retail price: $27.

Armada Optimus Prime—released 2002, original retail price: $49. Of note is this figure can combine with two others (Armada Jetfire and Armada and Armada Overload, which both retailed for approx. $27.) Chris, of course, has all three parts to this figure.

Armada Unicron—released in 2003, with re-releases in 2005 and 2010. Original retail price: $50.

Beast Wars Transmetal Optimus Primal—released in 1998 at an original retail price of roughly $17.

Cybertron Bushgaurd—released 2005, original retail price: $7.

Cybertron Clocker—released 2005, original retail price: $7.

Cybetron “Cybertron Defense” Hot Spot—released late 2005, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Evac—released late 2005, original retail price: $27.

Cybertron Longrack—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Megatron—released 2005, original retail price: $49.

Cybertron Optimus Prime—released 2005, original retail price: $49.

Cybertron Overdrive—released 2005, original retail price: $10. Of interesting note, this Transformer has a china.

Cybertron Primus—released 2006, original retail price: $49.

Cybertron Red Alert—released 2005, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Scourge—released 2005, original retail price: $27.

Cybertron Soundwave—released 2005, original retail price: $27.

Cybertron Snarl—released 2005, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Thunderclash—released 2005, original retail price: $10. This is another Transformer with china.

Cybertron Thundecracker—released 2005, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Unicron—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Cybertron Vector Prime—released 2005, original retail price: $27.

Cybertron Wing Saber—released 2005, original retail price: $27.

Generation One Action Master Bumblebee—released in 1990. Original retail price: about $7. Of interesting note, Chris seems to be missing the heli-pack/gun for this figure, denoting that he either lost it as a child (probable) or bought this figure from a second-hand source.

Generation Two Bumblebee—released in 1993, this is a re-release of the original 1984 Bumblebee figure, except in a gold paint scheme. Original retail price: approx. $5.

Generation Two Optimus Prime—released in 1993, this figure is essentially a re-issue of the original Optimus Prime toy from 1984 except that it comes with a black trailer instead of a grey one and some additional missile launchers. Original retail price: $30. Chris probably received this as a gift as a child.

Movie Bumblebee—released in 2007. This appears to be the “Classic Camaro” toy, rather than the “Camaro Concept” release. Original retail price: $10.
Movie “Camaro Concept” release—released in 2007, and made to portray Bumblebee after he upgrades his body.

Movie Optimus Prime—released in 2007 to coincide with the release of the first Transformers live action movie. This appears to be the “Leader class” Prime, original retail price: $49.

My First Transformers “Car”—this was a set of three figures released under the “Playskool” label in 1985 and were transformers marketed for younger children. Chris probably has had this since childhood.

Revenge of the Fallen Mudflap and Skids—released in 2009 to coincide with the release of the “Revenge of the Fallen” film. This is the ice cream truck release.

Revenge of the Fallen Soundwave—released in 2009 to coincide with the release of the second live action Transformers film. Original retail price: $10.
Transformers “Classics” Bumblebee—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Transformers “Classics” Rodimus—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Transformers “Classics” Starscream—released 2006, original retail price: $10.

Transformers Collection Megatron—released in Asia in 2003, this is the infamous “Megatron Pistol.” Chris has kept the box atop his entertainment center, which is how I was able to identify the figure. Of interesting note, it is now illegal to sell this figure inside the US unless it has been fitted with an orange barrel plug. Chris probably bought this from an online toy dealer soon after its release, likely paying between $120-180 before shipping.
Universe Cosmos—released 2009, original retail price: $7.

Universe Soundwave—released in 2008, this is a re-issue of the original Soundwave figure from 1984. It was available at Toys R’ Us and came packaged with two cassette figures: Laserbeak and Ravage. This figure’s chest was deepened from the original’s so that it could hold two cassettes at once instead of only one. This, of course, means that the demand and prices for the original and have only increased.

Universe “War for Cybertron” Bumblebee—released 2010 to coincide with the release of the “War for Cybertron” video game. original retail price: $10.

Universe “War for Cybertron” Optimus Prime—released 2010, original retail price: $10.

Keep in mind that this is only an assessment, and there were many more figures that I couldn’t identify due to the resolution of the photos/overcrowding of Chris’s shelves. Chris has undoubtedly grown his toy collection since these photos were taken, as well.

Chris primary mistake as a toy collector is conflating the value of his collection and, as a result, falling into a number of first-time collector pitfalls. Many first-time collectors see the resale value of toys that they owned as a child and mistakenly assume that ifthey still had that toy, they would be able to get that much money for it. The truth is often much, much different, as I will illustrate below.

The first and foremost of Chris’s collecting troubles is that he has removed his toys from their packaging. Although this is really only a problem if you intend to resell your toys instead of using them for personal enjoyment, Chris has tried to resell his toys on several occasions (as noted in Chris’s emails to Jackie regarding his Power Ranger figures.)

Secondly, Chris has only purchased figures that are immediately available at retail, rather than finding toys that have collectable value. This has hurt the value of Chris’s collection in a number of ways. Instead of using his tugboat to purchase an imported reissue of Soundwave or an original, Chris went to Toys R’Us and purchased the immediately available reissue Soundwave in the box. Unfortunately for Chris, Hasbro (the company that produces Transformers in the US) has a nasty tendency to over-produce stock. This means that Chris’s Soundwave is currently reselling for $65-$75 mint in box, whereas the lower-run San Diego Comic Con reissue Soundwave is reselling for closer to $200, or the Japanese 2003 Soundwave reissue selling for $150 (source: Amazon.com, thinkgeek.com).

Another example of this is Chris’s Unicron figure. Originally released in 2003, Hasbro marketed Unicron to collectors as “the toy you waited seventeen years for.” However, they underestimated the number of adult collectors and over-estimated their product’s viability. The next year, Hasbro resorted to painting unsold Unicron figures black and reselling them for their “Energon” line, and eventually abandoned even that pretense and just dumped the original orange ones in “Energon” packaging. Orange Unicrons could be found at retail well into the year 2006 and even 2007, often carrying huge clearance slash tags. I, myself, find them all over the place at second hand and thrift shops. Perhaps ironically, the black Unicrons now demand a much higher after-market value (source: shmax.com.)

Third, Chris is not taking very good care of the toys he already has in his collection. His figures have no protection from dust or other debris from the Chandler house. Megatron has had his trigger pulled repeatedly to shoot that no-good Adam Stackhouse. Optimus has been thrown into a backpack and carted around Charlottseville. Unicron’s been secured to the wall through some unknown means.

Fourth, Chris has limited his collection by limiting himself to what he’s exposed. Without exception, Chris’s figures are either featured in Transformers cartoons or the live-action movies. However, the Transformers market has grown exponentially since the mid-eighties, when the original cartoon went off the air, and now includes comic books, novels, and radio shows. These secondary forms of medium have grown many secondary characters into collector favorites (some examples being Razorbeast, Nightbeat, and Bludgeon from the Beast Wars and Generation One lines.) As a result, the after-market prices for the original toys or even modern toys that are homages to the originals have sky-rocketed in value. Chris has missed this due to his diet of Cartoon Network and Michael Bay.

Chris’s final mistake is the misconception that quantity is greater than quality. The number of Transformers that fill Chris’s shelves that are, essentially, generic. Although markets exist for both the adult collector and for children, Chris seems to gravitate towards the child-geared demographic (the only exceptions being the reissue Soundwave, the Anniversary Optimus Prime, and the Megatron pistol.) The result is that most of his figures have very poor resale value, especially since they are unpackaged, and are scarcely worth the listing fees on eBay. Chris could rectify this easily enough if he were to redirect the priorities of his tugboat, but spending $100 on an eBay auction for a single figure is nowhere near as fulfilling for Chris as buying a new vidya and two off-the-shelf Transformers.

Chris has undoubtedly justified his buying of Transformers and other toys as “it’s not frivolous, it’s an investment.” Due to the pitfalls I’ve outlined, though, Chris’s toy buying habits are anything but. Most tellingly, however, is Chris’s negative feedback rating on eBay: “said package was unopened not true slow ship” for a Transformers Movie 2008 Concept Camaro. Chris probably used a term such as “MOSC” (Mint on Sealed Card) in his eBay title without really understanding what the acronym meant, having just thrown it in there as assumed business jargon. The bottom line is that Chris collects simply due to hoarding behaviors. While he has sold Transformers on eBay in the past, these were mostly bottom shelf dreck that was sold at retail cost, and his actual collection is worth far less than what he paid for it.


So, short answer: Chris probably thinks we're jealous and isn't aware that there's not a thing to be jealous about.

Good analysis. It really shows us a lot about Chris' materialistic tendencies.