don’t judge me - 7/25/2019

Whale Lake 2

Your Favourite Tchaikowski Ballet
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Have you ever once in her YouTube career heard Amber say anything about the taste of food beyond "It's good!" With her eyes popping out her skull or "I don't like that"? This bitch can't taste shit.

Besides that this bitches fundamental inability to cook is not just because she won't follow a recipe. She thinks a rolling boil is a simmer and handles a knife worse than Captain Hook post the loss of his other hand. She uses water as a replacement for oil. No cookbook in the world can save her from her cooking.
Fair enough about the taste... I very much doubt she can even taste the tomatoes she so much hates, at this point.

Oh, god... you brought back the marjoram incident there was with Eric and Becky.
 
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CreedenceLeonoreGielgud

Queen of Nilbog
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This seems reasonable if she hadn't made an entire video crying about how her baby-soft dainty hooves slipped on a stray piece of dog kibble
THERE ARE OVER 5 MILLION KIBBLE-RELATED FATALITIES IN KENTUCKY ALONE EVERY YEAR DON'T YOU BE DOUBTING MIZZ AMBER'S WORDS.

Also, Amber didn't want to mention it but it was a special deluxe brand of kibble that's real slippery and doesn't immediately explode into microdust upon application of 600 pounds of accelerating force.

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her hand slightly reminds me of an obese seastar
Hey, what's wrong with the seastar that invited an Amber comparison? He's just going about his business, chillin', not botherin' nobody and content in his little niche like mint in a julep.
 
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Turd Blossom

Take your protein pills & put your helmet on
True & Honest Fan
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It's too bad that Becky's brief reunion with family, away from the influence of her manipulative partner, did NOT result in a change of heart when she got home. How little she must love herself to remain in a situation in which she's expected to carry 100% of the burden of a "relationship" with a 600 lb troll that gives nothing in return.

Becky may be technically unemployed in a conventional sense, but Amber is a full-time job with no benefits. No emotional support, no real love or meaningful connection, definitely zero sex or intimacy of any kind. Honestly, they don't even seem like they would be friends in any other context. They have nothing in common besides an unhealthy relationship with food and a total absence of intellectual curiosity about their world.

Amber's impulse to lie about everything is so pathological in nature, that you have to wonder how Becky can see that and still trust a single thing out of her mouth. If I saw how EASY it was for my partner to embrace dishonesty the way ALR does, there would be SIRENS going off. And yes, I totally understand the illogical pull that codependency can have and the willful denial that keeps people in bad situations for far too long. But this is some next-level shit.

Becky's either gonna wake up one day, after cleaning and powdering Amber's yeasty folds for the millionth time, and decide "No More." Or she's gonna let this dumpster fire consume her very soul. Both will be painful, but the former could lead somewhere positive (like finding love and a new beginning with someone that's NOT a sociopath and doesn't regularly humiliate her in front of 128,000 internet strangers).

I'm not optimistic, but she does have a choice here.
The bizarre thing is that in the video she filmed with Eric explaining why they somehow weren't enormous assholes for trotting her ex's dirty underwear out on the internet for the world to see, Becky's excuse was that her ex-girlfriend was a lying, manipulative monster.

It's been awhile since I've seen it, but I distinctly remember Becky saying she had to become somewhat of a PI to uncover the depths of this person's lies.

Becky sure seems to have a type. But you'd think that once it started dawning on her that Amber has a complicated relationship with the truth, she'd do something to avoid being stuck in this same situation.

Amber is either really good at gaslighting and played right into Becky's need to be needed, or the lure of free snapbacks and graphic tees became too strong to resist. However I've noticed there haven't been any new 90's tees in awhile, just a shit-ton of B&BW candles which Amber is quick to inform us that "Becky loves too!" but definitely considers them to be hers.

It's hard to muster a lot of sympathy for Becks, but it's easy to see that her spirit, backbone and spunk has been slowly snuffed out by the Binge Monster. I'm not sure what it would take for her to finally shed that 600-elbees of excess weight, but apparently the lying killed things with her last relationship, so evidently she does have a limit to what she'll put up with although at this point it's hard to imagine.
 

AllCISPeople

The new minority
kiwifarms.net
coloring mandalas like a psych patient in their free time
There seems to be a lot of that type of activity going on in their establishment. Coloring mandalas, painting boxes and other crappy crafts, playing card games like slip-bo, “Movie night! Everyone come out of their hospital rooms to meet in the occupational therapy room to sit in front of the TV!”

It’s like Hermitlynn literally lives in a psych ward, minus they don’t let you eat as much as a whale and she’s not TECHNICALLY locked in, just bedbound.
 

Peetz's Bank Account

Down the drain since high school
kiwifarms.net
I can't believe there are people who think we should kill the blacks, when its clearly the extremely obese who need to go
Yep, at this point their deluded idea of themselves is actually hurting people. All these fat kids are growing up thinking they're healthy now just because their charts don't say that they're about to have a stroke. Thanks obese cows with pink hair.
 

DubbleBubble

kiwifarms.net
Fair enough about the taste... I very much doubt she can even taste the tomatoes she so much hates, at this point.

Oh, god... you brought back the marjoram incident there was with Eric and Becky.
Flavor = salt/sugar to Amber, I'm 99.9% sure that is all she's been able to taste, probably since she was a fast food fed baby whale. Consuming so much fast food, for such a long time really does a number on your sense of taste, proportion, nutrition, everything really.

So when you see her put something in her gullet and suddenly the eyes pop out and she starts nodding like a seal, yeah she'd react like that if you just poured straight salt, or a bag of sugar down her throat. That's probably why she just cannot bring herself to eat healthy for more than half a day.

Vegetables don't taste like mcdonalds fries. Unless you slop so much salt and seasoning on that it ceases to have any value or flavor, and becomes just as heavy.
 

Your_Fairy_Wish_Prince

I am your Fairy Wish Prince, at your service
kiwifarms.net
Don't worry. They might be making bathing suits for deathfats now, but they don't seem to be making them for infinifats.

Yet.
It makes me sad that humans have gone beyond what could be considered super saiyan levels of fat :'(

p.s.

There is a #infinifat tag on instagram its more horrific then your most abysmal Nightmares
 

AlienQueen

kiwifarms.net
She hates recipes? God forbid she puts effort into literally anything
Utterly nothing in this video.
- First two minutes, staring longingly at the pool. Must be difficult being a beached whale and knowing you can never return to your native habitat.
- Gorl scared she might burn from spending 30 minutes in the sun. Did a whole research situation on her meds, they cause sensitivity to light but thats not the sun boo boo.
- There's been like, so many storms recently, like whaaaat? Gorl is very confused, the weather is like, crazy.
- Eric is cooking chicken chili, excited for the daily binge
- Has a massive fucking stack of fractals she's coloring in. Bought some more of Becky's markers (calls them hers) off of Amazon. The quality is great but the blending isn't as good as she expected.
- Weight watchers cookbook (FREE!), might cook some things out of the book, despite hating recipes, and tomatoes (what happened to the virtue signalling that the weight loss doctor didn't give her enough veggies to eat?)
- Whoops! Forgot to end this video, so lemme put up a white screen with some black text, and tell you about how my video editing skills have improved so much recently!
Literally no content whatsoever. Her standards have slipped even further, I'm honestly shocked she still hasn't hit rock bottom.
 

Niggernerd

Idolm@ster has all my big tiddy waifus
kiwifarms.net
If she's cremated, that's gonna require a lot of energy. Like A LOT. More energy than the sun outputs. It's gonna take a few hours for her to burn up. Much cheaper and easier than being burried; we'd need to burry her in an asteroid crater.

So basically just roll her fat fat disgustingly fat corpse off a flight of stairs and just move the debris of the ruined city block over her?
Pretty sure that impact would put Neon Genesis Evangelions creator to shame.
 
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Peetz's Bank Account

Down the drain since high school
kiwifarms.net
Maybe the US army can airdrop her bloated corpse onto ISIS headquarters. That'll kill a few of them and they'll be so fascinated by her physical state that they can be ambushed from behind by a firing squad. That said though, they might get smart and find a way to use all the lard she's carrying as a firestarter. If you liquefied Amber's fat and then threw a match on it you could probably burn down the world trade center.
 
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