Dox your Xmas dinner. -

Narr Then

What's up wi' thi' narr, mardy arse
As the title says...expose your festive feast for the dirty, delicious beast that it is.

Are you a traditional turkey wrangler, or one of those mad lads who prefer a buffet with a bit of everything, and eat it standing up like a heathen?
What's your favorite side dish?

Mine is baked sprouts with Stilton, bacon and cream. I always end up eating it for a fortnight until I knock myself sick with it and don't touch it again until next year.
I always have a 5 bird roast from Aldi coz I'm a chav (according to tooter) but this year I've got a pheasant as well, coz I'm also posh as fuck. And the dogs have got one each coz they've been Very Good Dogs all year.

So what will you be gorging on to celebrate baby jeebus' birthday?

And merry fuckin Xmas to y'all, you lovely bunch o'cunts :heart-full:🎄
 

fag0t

True & Honest Fan
screen-shot-2019-12-04-at-13-18-21-1575465515-png.1768921
 
I am not a knowledgeable cook.

I'm making this Ham which will have a Honey-Bourbon glaze. So, I've got the glaze on the stove top, reducing at medium-low heat, and I fuck off for a minute to look up what "stud with whole cloves" means, and I swear within that minute the glaze came to boil and then boiled over. God awful burnt sticky goop, everywhere, if I knew what I was doing I'd probably have kept a closer eye on it. Everything in my kitchen is now sticky.

Happy Merry, everyone.
 

Narr Then

What's up wi' thi' narr, mardy arse
I am not a knowledgeable cook.

I'm making this Ham which will have a Honey-Bourbon glaze. So, I've got the glaze on the stove top, reducing at medium-low heat, and I fuck off for a minute to look up what "stud with whole cloves" means, and I swear within that minute the glaze came to boil and then boiled over. God awful burnt sticky goop, everywhere, if I knew what I was doing I'd probably have kept a closer eye on it. Everything in my kitchen is now sticky.

Happy Merry, everyone.
Hahaha oh fuck 🤦‍♀️
I hope you've got all the doings to make another one? Sounds proper nice.

Stud means to stab little holes all over the skin and stick whole cloves in, round side up. In a grid pattern if you're bothered about it looking pretty. Or spell out CUNT if you're trying to bump an old relative off for a bit of inheritance.
I want 10% of whatever you get tho.
 

General Disarray

Something Snappy
True & Honest Fan
We're doing just cocktail meatballs and weenies tonight because Mr. Man forgot the Doritos for nachos. Got the cheese though!

I am excited for tomorrow's feast because we have a prime rib roast that was exorbitantly expensive, and I expect to serve that with smashed potatoes, roasted cauliflower and shrimp cocktail / salad as an appetizer. Rosettes will be dessert as they are light and crisp, and are a tradition in my Norwegian family.

@fuzzyrodent85 your pie looks delicious and I am sure everyone will enjoy it. Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!
 

Fliddaroonie

I'm a spooky ghost! Whooooo!!! Ectoplasm!!!!
The supermarkets had a run on food the last few days here so pickings were thin. So I'm having roast beef, roast potatoes, chestnuts roasted with pancetta and sprouts, carrots, Yorkshire puddings and peas. For dessert I'm having a christmas pudding I made back in July and have been topping up with sherry and rum with clotted cream.

I was going to do beef Wellington but cant be bothered. I also got bagels and crinkle cut gherkins for the left over beef the next few days.

I'm gonna suffer for it the day after but I dont care.

@fuzzyrodent85, that pie looks beautiful. I hope you all thoroughly enjoy it and your time with each other <3
 

Narr Then

What's up wi' thi' narr, mardy arse
View attachment 1808621
I made this blackberry pie to share with my family.
Cor, that looks a bit nice 😍

Are you having cream with it? Plain or alcohol flavoured?

I've got a plain cheesecake with cherries in kirsch for the top. I fucking love cheesecake, but can't stand ones that come in different flavours, I'd rather get a plain one and add my own stuff.

Enjoy your pai! ❤️
 
Cor, that looks a bit nice 😍

Are you having cream with it? Plain or alcohol flavoured?

I've got a plain cheesecake with cherries in kirsch for the top. I fucking love cheesecake, but can't stand ones that come in different flavours, I'd rather get a plain one and add my own stuff.

Enjoy your pai! ❤️
No, I'm trying to watch my calories so I replaced the white flour with whole wheat and used stevia instead of sugar and coconut oil instead of butter. Cheesecake is so good, what kind of crust do you like in them? I like the chocolate kind.
 

Narr Then

What's up wi' thi' narr, mardy arse
The supermarkets had a run on food the last few days here so pickings were thin. So I'm having roast beef, roast potatoes, chestnuts roasted with pancetta and sprouts, carrots, Yorkshire puddings and peas. For dessert I'm having a christmas pudding I made back in July and have been topping up with sherry and rum with clotted cream.

I was going to do beef Wellington but cant be bothered. I also got bagels and crinkle cut gherkins for the left over beef the next few days.

I'm gonna suffer for it the day after but I dont care.

@fuzzyrodent85, that pie looks beautiful. I hope you all thoroughly enjoy it and your time with each other <3
It's my (thread) party and I'll double post if I want to!

Ooh, proper job with the pudding, I wish I was that forward thinking! I feel half pissed just thinking about it hahaha
One thing I didn't get this year was chestnuts, I love doing stuffed savoy cabbage leaves with them. Never done em with sprouts tho, I'll have to give that a go 👍 have you ever come across kale sprouts? Everywhere was selling them a couple of years ago but not found any this year. They're So Good... sweet and nutty...a really good hybrid. 😋 (I'm assuming you're a fellow britfag as well? Just going off the Yorkshire puddings...don't think they're a thing with the septics but I could be wrong.)

My favourite part of the whole shebang is making meals for a week with the leftovers tbh. Leftover pie boxing day, curry for at least 2 days after that...i wanted to get some reduced beef tonight for exactly that, because I've not had a proper chunk for ages and I did a 5 bird roast for solstice. They weren't reduced enough tho and I refuse to pay more than a 10er on Xmas eve, unless it was from a decent butcher.

If you can be arsed, please take pudding pictures when you dish it up so I can live vicariously through your skillz. And tell my mum that I made it and it's better than hers 😂

Have a crackin crimbo cockle ❤️
 

Narr Then

What's up wi' thi' narr, mardy arse
No, I'm trying to watch my calories so I replaced the white flour with whole wheat and used stevia instead of sugar and coconut oil instead of butter. Cheesecake is so good, what kind of crust do you like in them? I like the chocolate kind.
Now that's some willpower right there, fair play to you 💪 you could teach the deathfats a thing or two there!
I don't do sweet stuff often, but when I do, I'm all in. I've tried the fake sugars and diet cokes etc in the past, but I get an awful aftertaste with them...apparently it's similar to people who can smell cyanide...only some do, to everyone else it tastes/smells normal.

Just super plain cheesecake for me...i can handle shop bought if it's just got a bit of fruit and syrup on top, but if it's smothered with it or worked through the ricotta I can't entertain it at all. I've not made my own for donkeys years...i think even then most of it was out of a packet! But I've got a cheese making kit for Xmas so I'm going to give it a go in the new year. It'll either be amazing or a massive fuck up...watch this space! 😁
 

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