Dramatic Reading- "Little Cassie" -

Igottafish

Would you like to make a wish?
kiwifarms.net
Even there he is angry
I don't think he has any other emotion
He does get sad sometimes, and depressed too, as shown by his reaction to "Putting Your Hoof Down", the episode which made him depressed for three days. I'd say he's also stoic, but the definition means "a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining", and Mr. Enter definitely complains.
 

Reverend_Lovejoy

kiwifarms.net
His timing as he reads is just a little odd. As though he just wants to get the reading done as quickly as possible. He doesn't have a lot of pauses for listeners to fully digest what he's reading. Maybe that's just a personal problem that I have and everyone else is fine with it.

His voice isn't as irritating as it normally is, which I suppose is a good thing.

I can't criticise the writing because I haven't read the story.
 

Sanae Kochiya

afk Shrine Maiden
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Got to 30 seconds before I stopped it. ... Yeah, my tolerance for this was pretty much nonexistent.

I'm a fan of Creepypasta readers on YouTube. MrCreepyPasta and CreepsMcPasta come to mind as some of the most prominent, at least imo. There have also been some dramatic readings of some hilariously bad fanfictions that I've read, as well as the infamous Sonichu Audiobook that I'm pretty sure every Kiwi has at least heard about. The thing that makes their dramatic readings work, at least imo, is that there's pacing. When it's the narrator and he's setting the scene, the tone is usually slow, methodical, and rather fluid, not too slow that it feels like a chore to listen to, but it's not too fast that it feels like the details are being thrust past you.

Enter suffers from the latter. His reading is too quick and it's breaking the immersion. Bad readings are particularly annoying not only because they can ruin a good story, but because it makes the flaws of the actual story more evident (that being, the fact that the beginning of the story is fairly dull and has nothing to catch the reader's attention).

I happen to like dramatic readings and variants of, so the fact that Enter's doing one so poorly aggravates me a bit.
 

Long Sun

One Badass Disabled Dude
kiwifarms.net
I love Audiobooks (I fact I tend to always have one on the go for walks and what not) and enter is reading to fast with no pase or dramatic nature to his voice at all
 

chimpburgers

Big league
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I can't sit through this, mainly because of how monotone and unenthusiastic he sounds, which doesn't help because I don't think his writing is that good at all.
 

Ferls

Not Farael
kiwifarms.net
When I was reading Little Cassie, I actually read it aloud to myself. It was kind of fun, and it made an average, non-noteworthy work somewhat interesting. I was almost hoping that Enter would put up his own reading since it is his work after all. And it would force him to look over his work. Reading your work aloud lets you see how awkward some phrases are, and especially see grammar and spelling errors.
I diff-checked the text of the current version on his dA with the old version Piga Dgrifm posted.
The only thing he changed was the name of the character, from Robert to Andrew.
I couldn't tell if he self-corrected while reading, because I just couldn't listen to it all the way through. He's just making a serious of sounds. And the only time he's able to show any emotion or pacing is when anger or irritation is involved. There is nothing dramatic about this reading. He probably just called it a dramatic reading because that's what the cool kids around YouTube do, even though this is nothing like even those readings.
 

Shokew

Trial by Fire! Trial by Fire!
kiwifarms.net
Oh, WTF!

Dramatic readings usually insult mediocre to shitty works. Entard doesn't even know that, does he??? Oh, Christ - I definitely ain't watching anymore shit from this guy, unless someone else is doing it to make fun of this guy.

It's official - or more so than usual, IMHO - this guy really is an exceptionally stupid individual.
 

Headbanger General

I think I've got brain damage...
kiwifarms.net
I wish there were a ROFL rating because I laughed at this stupid thing. God, Enter just had to Gary-Stu the main character, didn't he?

"Oh man, the world is so depressing. Your life is a waste. Nobody cares about you. The only things that make it worth living are TV, sitting outside, and eating at a restaurant, alone. Everything good in life is done alone. Friends are just parasites. Oh, woe is me!"
 

Reverend_Lovejoy

kiwifarms.net
I've only glanced at later chapters, but Cassie is the name of the girl being abused in the neighboring household.
My first thought is "This is starting to sound a little like Taxi Driver", girl gets abused, guy is depressed, guy saves girl eventually.

My second thought is "Can Enter make the story about Cassie instead, she sounds a little more interesting"

Also, do you know how she's being abused?
 

Ferls

Not Farael
kiwifarms.net
My first thought is "This is starting to sound a little like Taxi Driver", girl gets abused, guy is depressed, guy saves girl eventually.

My second thought is "Can Enter make the story about Cassie instead, she sounds a little more interesting"

Also, do you know how she's being abused?
Like I said, I only glanced at other chapters but given what I saw and Enter's personal interest in the topic those are the dots I connected.

It's "dark", the household she's from is extraordinarily hostile, Robert/Andrew called CPS, and Enter has a personal interest in abuse.


ALSO worth noting: Enter didn't bother going through and carefully editing or reading his work. He replaced all mentions of "Robert" with "Andrew", but he didn't actually read carefully enough to replace an instance of "Rob".
 
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Deadwaste

null is a GODDAMN SHIT BITCH
kiwifarms.net
My first thought is "This is starting to sound a little like Taxi Driver", girl gets abused, guy is depressed, guy saves girl eventually.

My second thought is "Can Enter make the story about Cassie instead, she sounds a little more interesting"

Also, do you know how she's being abused?
I read a bit of the story a while back and remember some things. Apparently, she's abused physically and I think mentally as well.
 

Ferls

Not Farael
kiwifarms.net
So..this was Enter trying to write a serious story?
after his fails at GA, I don't want to come close to this.
Yup. Enter wrote his a long time ago (when he was in a "dark place") and found it. His fans demanded to see it. His ego really shows when you read the stuff he says about it.

Hey, remember when I found my old video game that I made in High School and decided to share it with you all? It was light-hearted, upbeat, and not very good. Today I found about half of a novel that I was working on hiding somewhere on my old hard drive files (27k words out the typical 50-60k). It's pretty much the opposite of that. I think that it's actually pretty good. Not great, and I have improved, but still serviceable. There isn't any bad word structure, all of the characters are properly established, and obviously there's no bad art or music, and there's aren't any corny jokes. That's because it's down-trodden, pessimestic, and morbid.Oh... so it's one of those brooding teenage crap stories, isn't it? Um... no. It's morbid, perhaps the most morbid thing that I've ever read because a lot of the thoughts and feelings came from a dark place, but here's the thing -- it's not melodramatic. That means that any angst, anger, or misery is completely deserved, right down to the premise.

Our main character, Robert Wright (shut up), is down-trodden. He's beaten down by his life, almost going through a quarter-life crisis. By the end of the first chapter we're informed that his neighbors have been arguing to the point of violence and they have a daughter named Cassie Galvin (hindsight works in strange ways). It actually gets bad with what's shown in the text, never mind what's just suggested. Robert tries to call the authorities on them, but when Mr. Galvin puts on a facade, Robert ends up being attacked by a sledgehammer and threatens to kill him if he ever tries that again. Robert, in desperation, kidnaps Cassie and the majority of the novel is them running from the law. The "morbid" doesn't stop there either. And, most of the conflict on the story is internal conflict with lots of those good old questions of what's moral, action vs. inaction, and lots of other questions that I was having at the time.

The writing itself is flowery, and I'll be honest, it can come off as pretentious. So... um, do you guys want it? I could upload it in a chapter by chapter basis, but I'm going to warn you the first five chapters (of 17... so far!) are probably the darkest.
(Source)

Some of the author's comments on the chapters are pretty hilariously self-complimenting and noteworthy.

Ch.1 :
Alright, you guys wanted it. No, this chapter isn't the darkest. It gets a lot darker, so I suppose you can decide how far you want this to go. Or maybe I'm just being silly.

Ch.2 :
What you don't tell your audience is much more powerful than what you do tell the audience, and it seems that my younger self understood this very well.

Ch.3 :
And so the darker stuff begins. Is this as heavy as it gets? Nope. When you're writing for an adult, informed audience, I don't really think you can go "too far" as long as you know what you're doing and treat the subject matter with respect. And my younger self had that philosophy and seemed to ram it as far as it would go.

Ch.7 :
Keep in mind: Mr. Enter knows nothing about cars.

Ch.8 :
I warned you that the heavy stuff wasn't over, and while I can't say that it gets as dark as the implications here, it still gets darker as we come to learn about both of these characters.

Ch.9 :
Yeah... those weird metaphors is kind of how my mind works. I have the innate ability to see how two random objects/ideas/events can relate to each other, and poof, poetry.

Ch.10 :
Hmm... I'm much better at writing internal tension than external action.

Ch.11 :
Hmm, maybe I can do action because I like this chapter a lot more than the last one.

Ch.12 :
On a side note: Mr. Enter knows nothing about bears...

Ch.14 :
I just realized that this book is the whole "What I'm doing is wrong, I know it's wrong, but I'm going to do it anyway" and done surprisingly right. So... I suppose that this is how you do it right.

Ch.15 :
Shit's getting fucking intense. Wonder why I stopped after the next chapter.

Ch.16 :
And so this is how it ends. For now. All things considered, I thought that it was pretty good, if really heavy. However, if I continue this, I'm going to need to keep it just as heavy. And I don't want to lead too many people on a cliffhanger. Remember this is 27k words out of the typical 60k. We're not even halfway done with this adventure.
I like most how he either brushes off his shortcomings (such as his lack of research, my favorite thing about Enter) or he turns around and says "no wait I'm good".

Also of note:
 
Last edited:

The Jumping Dwarf

I'm offendered if misgendered
kiwifarms.net
Yup. Enter wrote his a long time ago (when he was in a "dark place") and found it. His fans demanded to see it. His ego really shows when you read the stuff he says about it.

Hey, remember when I found my old video game that I made in High School and decided to share it with you all? It was light-hearted, upbeat, and not very good. Today I found about half of a novel that I was working on hiding somewhere on my old hard drive files (27k words out the typical 50-60k). It's pretty much the opposite of that. I think that it's actually pretty good. Not great, and I have improved, but still serviceable. There isn't any bad word structure, all of the characters are properly established, and obviously there's no bad art or music, and there's aren't any corny jokes. That's because it's down-trodden, pessimestic, and morbid.Oh... so it's one of those brooding teenage crap stories, isn't it? Um... no. It's morbid, perhaps the most morbid thing that I've ever read because a lot of the thoughts and feelings came from a dark place, but here's the thing -- it's not melodramatic. That means that any angst, anger, or misery is completely deserved, right down to the premise.

Our main character, Robert Wright (shut up), is down-trodden. He's beaten down by his life, almost going through a quarter-life crisis. By the end of the first chapter we're informed that his neighbors have been arguing to the point of violence and they have a daughter named Cassie Galvin (hindsight works in strange ways). It actually gets bad with what's shown in the text, never mind what's just suggested. Robert tries to call the authorities on them, but when Mr. Galvin puts on a facade, Robert ends up being attacked by a sledgehammer and threatens to kill him if he ever tries that again. Robert, in desperation, kidnaps Cassie and the majority of the novel is them running from the law. The "morbid" doesn't stop there either. And, most of the conflict on the story is internal conflict with lots of those good old questions of what's moral, action vs. inaction, and lots of other questions that I was having at the time.

The writing itself is flowery, and I'll be honest, it can come off as pretentious. So... um, do you guys want it? I could upload it in a chapter by chapter basis, but I'm going to warn you the first five chapters (of 17... so far!) are probably the darkest.
(Source)
Some of the author's comments on the chapters are pretty hilariously self-complimenting.

Also of note:
Oh my god. He's gonna make Let's Plays now?
 
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