Drunk/High Thread -

Bogs

She hates that dog
kiwifarms.net
I'm an honest man, I try to read as many of your posts as possible. But frankly, I'm very drunk and can't read very well. Thanks God for spell-check. If anybody can point me in the direction of Vat-69, that'd be great...
 

Saint Mengele

Gotta make money like Wesley Snipes
kiwifarms.net
tbh I've come to the conclusion that if God wanted me to stop drinking he'd make my life bearable sans booze so technically I'm actually honouring God's will by drinking to excess
come to the side of the Lord lads it's an emancipating sensation
 

WEEDle

kiwifarms.net
I forgot to say the other week I tried cocaine for the first time. Got a little bit from a friend for free and snorted 4 small lines (2 in each nostril).

I'd been wanting to try it for a while and I'm glad I did. I wouldn't actually pay for it though, it's way too expensive. I got the effects like a head rush, numbed mouth (could still talk, actually I was a bit more talkative) fidgety movement, increased body temperature and heart rate, etc.

I still prefer weed and psychedelics to any other drug I've tried and have never done anything else regularly.
 

Ted_Breakfast

What'll it be, boys?
kiwifarms.net
My eyes are pink from drunkenness, but they're not pink enough to not notice how hideous the pores on my nose are. I wish it were socially acceptable to wear a burlap sack on my head in public. It just seems backward that I can horrify children with my repulsive face but the second I try to hide it with a simple cloth, suddenly I'M the weirdo.
 
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Surf and TERF

kiwifarms.net
Twice while drinking, I've wanted to message an ex-friend with an apology I'm still not sure she deserves. Don't get me wrong, I keep melllow relationships. I've only ended things on bad terms with former friends twice in my life. This one in particular baffles me because I hate her and crave her approval at the same time. It has almost been a year since our falling out.

Fortunately for me, she blocked me back. So my dumb ass can't successfully send messages even if I take down the barriers on my end. I feel like a creep for having tried.

Edit: La Cadena is a shitty vodka. I feel sick every time I drink this.
 
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queerape

All Kinds of Gorillaz
kiwifarms.net
Just got wayyy high and watched the Eric Andre show, it's even more exceptional that way. Then came an hour long couchlock listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Gorillaz and covers Cage the Elephant. Meanwhile, sober me left a bag of chips for high me. This shit is what I get stoned for.
 
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Meat Poultry Veg

The staff of life
kiwifarms.net
I'd been wanting to try it for a while and I'm glad I did. I wouldn't actually pay for it though, it's way too expensive. I got the effects like a head rush, numbed mouth (could still talk, actually I was a bit more talkative) fidgety movement, increased body temperature and heart rate, etc.
My pet gerbil told me that cocaine gives the absolute worse cottonmouth ever. While weed just makes your saliva go away, coke erases the concept of moisture from the universe.

He also said coke made him feel/act like Charlie Sheen.
 
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ForgedBlades

Milled wedges.
kiwifarms.net
Someone diagnose my autism.

I'm drunk right now, which is a very rare occurrence for me, it happens MAYBE twice a year. I drug myself against every fiber of my being to an "office" picnic this afternoon and immediately had a beer shoved in my hand. Considering I never drink, I was completely off my ass after 2 of them and was immediately transformed from my cynical, silent, intensely introverted self into a hilarious, talkative, warm, touchy-feely, charismatic guy. I'm not even blowing smoke up my own ass, I am the greatest drunk in the entire world, confirmed multiple times over by many different groups of people.

I was eventually invited to hang out with my co-workers tomorrow, an offer never extended before, as they have never seen that side of me before, and as I'm sobering up now, I'm already trying to come up with an excuse to get out of it.

Why, though? What am I afraid of? Why would I rather spend my weekends sitting alone in the dark, lurking here and on 4chan than having fun and possibly getting my dick wet? What the fuck is wrong with me?
 

Gordon Cole

Give 'em something to remember like The Alamo
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Eva Braun and I hit the bowl and made mac & cheese before we went to a party. We just narrowly avoided being hassled by the cops on the way back.
Someone diagnose my autism.

I'm drunk right now, which is a very rare occurrence for me, it happens MAYBE twice a year. I drug myself against every fiber of my being to an "office" picnic this afternoon and immediately had a beer shoved in my hand. Considering I never drink, I was completely off my ass after 2 of them and was immediately transformed from my cynical, silent, intensely introverted self into a hilarious, talkative, warm, touchy-feely, charismatic guy. I'm not even blowing smoke up my own ass, I am the greatest drunk in the entire world, confirmed multiple times over by many different groups of people.

I was eventually invited to hang out with my co-workers tomorrow, an offer never extended before, as they have never seen that side of me before, and as I'm sobering up now, I'm already trying to come up with an excuse to get out of it.

Why, though? What am I afraid of? Why would I rather spend my weekends sitting alone in the dark, lurking here and on 4chan than having fun and possibly getting my dick wet? What the fuck is wrong with me?
That's Dutch Courage speaking.
 
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