I'm an honest man, I try to read as many of your posts as possible. But frankly, I'm very drunk and can't read very well. Thanks God for spell-check. If anybody can point me in the direction of Vat-69, that'd be great...
My pet gerbil told me that cocaine gives the absolute worse cottonmouth ever. While weed just makes your saliva go away, coke erases the concept of moisture from the universe.I'd been wanting to try it for a while and I'm glad I did. I wouldn't actually pay for it though, it's way too expensive. I got the effects like a head rush, numbed mouth (could still talk, actually I was a bit more talkative) fidgety movement, increased body temperature and heart rate, etc.
That's Dutch Courage speaking.Someone diagnose my autism.
I'm drunk right now, which is a very rare occurrence for me, it happens MAYBE twice a year. I drug myself against every fiber of my being to an "office" picnic this afternoon and immediately had a beer shoved in my hand. Considering I never drink, I was completely off my ass after 2 of them and was immediately transformed from my cynical, silent, intensely introverted self into a hilarious, talkative, warm, touchy-feely, charismatic guy. I'm not even blowing smoke up my own ass, I am the greatest drunk in the entire world, confirmed multiple times over by many different groups of people.
I was eventually invited to hang out with my co-workers tomorrow, an offer never extended before, as they have never seen that side of me before, and as I'm sobering up now, I'm already trying to come up with an excuse to get out of it.
Why, though? What am I afraid of? Why would I rather spend my weekends sitting alone in the dark, lurking here and on 4chan than having fun and possibly getting my dick wet? What the fuck is wrong with me?