Skitzocow dsarti1 - Filthy, obese tinfoil-hatter holds forth in on post-apocalyptic ass hygiene.

[Supreme Edgecucker]

Basically as the title says.

Because let's face it. After "the shit hits the fan" if you are a survivalist who "took the red pill" unlike all the "sheeple," you can emerge from your Doritobunker with your canned beans and MREs and Frankin Mint semi-silver collectable coins, and the world is now your oyster. But you won't make it far in the zombie apocaplyse without a clean asscrack. Fortunately we've found a perfect guide to take us by the hand and, well, make us understand.

 

[Frank Rizzo]

Basically as the title says.

Because let's face it. After "the shit hits the fan" if you are a survivalist who "took the red pill" unlike all the "sheeple," you can emerge from your Doritobunker with your canned beans and MREs and Frankin Mint semi-silver collectable coins, and the world is now your oyster. But you won't make it far in the zombie apocaplyse without a clean asscrack. Fortunately we've found a perfect guide to take us by the hand and, well, make us understand.

Yes, because it's totes easy to adapt and survive after an apocalyptic event, right u guize?

 

[Lunete]

If he was really concerned about the impending apocalypse, he would work on his cardio.

 

[Molasses Assassin]

The way he kept widening his eyes made watching this extra uncomfortable.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

It's ... it's a pile of human. It's like, like this big mound of talking flesh. I thought most people came with skeletons on the inside.


Edit: "You girls .... I know your mom and dad probably never told you this, but you can wash your--"

Okay, sir, hold that thought. I'm just connecting with the 9-1-1 operator right now. Just gimme a sec ...

 

[Doctor Druid]

He kinda looks like Gizmo from Fallout 1

Spoiler: Pic

 

[HG 400]

If he was really concerned about the impending apocalypse, he would work on his cardio.

And looking less, shall we say, 'marbled'. When Mad Max happens, guys like this will replace Kobe beef.

 

[drtoboggan]

It's ... it's a pile of human. It's like, like this big mound of talking flesh. I thought most people came with skeletons on the inside.

Let's check with Yahoo Answers and get some #tyceadvice.

 

[HG 400]

Yes, because it's totes easy to adapt and survive after an apocalyptic event, right u guize?

If you come prepared it should be a cakewalk.

Dynastia's Post-Apocalyptic Survival Guide

1 - Getting a swastika tattooed on one ankle and a crescent of Islam on the other will double your chances of being accepted into a band of survivors. Just don't forget which is which when you roll up your pants leg to show your new friends you're actually 'one of them'.
2 - Always be the second guy to suggest cannibalism. Nobody trusts the first, and if you leave it too late people will think you don't have the will to survive.
3 - Take note of where your elderly neighbours live. You can burst into their houses and kill them for their canned beans on day one, avoiding the panicked mobs at supermarkets and grocery stores.
4 - Learning to suck dicks ahead of time will help you compete with the other sex-slaves and catamites when you inevitably become one.
5 - Keep your ass-crack clean, as per my previous point (which is what I believe OP was trying to say)

 

[tehfolder]

This is David Sarti, I have been watching his channel for awile now. He once threatened to kill his horse on video if people did not pay for her food. He got enough donations so he did not shoot her.
He owns guns illegally after being forcibly institutionalized for mental illness. He also claims to have homemade bombs around his farm. He made a video on how he poisions some of his food storage incase people rob him, and has managed to get his whole family to hate him. His channel is full of gems, my personal nickname for him is raccoon hat. (He used to wear a raccoon hat in all his videos).

Some of my favorites:

 

[Bungleboy]

Why are all the survival nuts so homophobic? Hating queers won't make Lord Humungus not rape you, dudes.

 

[WireSponge]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrazySurvivalist

 

[AnOminous]

Why are all the survival nuts so homophobic? Hating queers won't make Lord Humungus not rape you, dudes.

Because it's the fault of them dang dirty queers that Jesus is blowing up the world in the first place.

Also, Lord Humungus likes when you struggle.

 

[Mrs Paul]

So basically he invented a douche for your butthole?

 

[WireSponge]

So basically he invented a douche for your butthole?

It's called a bidet. In fact, he should buy a bidet, since he's too fat to actually reach his ass.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Holy shit, it's Crenshaw from Boggy Creek 2!

 

[glutenfreebooty]

His eyes are giving me Marshall Applewhite vibes. I give him credit for "inventing" some sort of handheld bidet, though. Certainly want my asshole to be clean when it's raining brimstone and fire.

 

[FatNero]

So I have to know, did he eat the horse?