DSP tries it: Politics

Which politician would DSP most be like?

  • Robert Mugabe

    Votes: 10 13.7%
  • Barack Obama

    Votes: 1 1.4%
  • Kim Jong Un & other NK leaders

    Votes: 18 24.7%
  • Suharto

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Mobutu Sese Seko

    Votes: 1 1.4%
  • Slobodan Milosevic

    Votes: 3 4.1%
  • Putin

    Votes: 2 2.7%
  • Mayor of CWCville

    Votes: 21 28.8%
  • Colonel Muammar Gaddafi

    Votes: 5 6.8%
  • Donald Trump

    Votes: 12 16.4%

  • Total voters


True & Honest Fan
Feb 13, 2018
Whaaaat? how was i supposed to know that printing more money makes the dollar worth even less? bugged ec'nom'ic mechanics.

filibusters have been brought up before, but hot damn, phil would be the master of filibustering
Nah man he can only stream for four hours on a couch. You think his ass is gonna stand up for more than one?


the ultimate crunch
Apr 6, 2015
Nah man he can only stream for four hours on a couch. You think his ass is gonna stand up for more than one?
tell him he has to filibuster or he has to go back to washington state and play pubg

Deez Nuts

True & Honest Fan
Jul 27, 2016
I want him to try just to see how awful it would be. He would give up quickly though. He would flop worse than Wu since he does not have oppression points.


Jan 29, 2018
Discussing politics in a civil and productive way can be difficult even for intelligent and informed people. So Phil is about the worst person imaginable to even attempt it. Just yelling "WRONG" at someone who says something that you disagree with is absolutely pathetic.

That sounds like a certain someone listed in the poll. Just saying.


Yikes, amateur night
Jan 29, 2018
Someone on Twitter made this like a year ago. Imma put it in the OP.
View attachment 410983

Mister President, Mister President. What are your plans against terrorism?!

"That's a very good question *snort*. You see, terrorism is all about negativity, okay? So in order to protect me, uhm America, we have to wait. Just literally wait behind a tree and *takes a sip* watch the whole situation. When the situation is over we, as american human beings, can crawl to the next hiding place. Sounds good?"

Eh, yeah, Mister President. But what if they attack us in the process?

"There is simply nothing we can do. These negative assholes use overpowered weapons that shouldn't be used in a real battle. So get this and I'm not exaggerating: These jackasses from the gun factory made them deliberately broken so they can kill us. Where is the fun in that? Stupid assholes *BUUURP* Oh excuse me, I felt it came from deep down and just waited to explode, woooow."

Mister President Mister President, how can you help the poor in this country?

"As you all know I'm a bachelor of business so hear me out, here is my plan and I'm honest here, you all know I'm the most honest guy in America. People have to pay their taxes, okay? But because I am the president of the United States I made the most money last month so I have to pay a lot more taxes than everybody else and I can't do that, right? Hint hint, #SaveTheWhiteHouse. We all need to work together now to help me out so I can do what's most fun to America, do my daily job, produce entertaining, uhm, productive content so the best way is to support me on Patreon! *points at a tiny sign in front of him* or tip me some dollars. I need that money, I really do, to pay my taxes."

Mister President Mister President, do you correlate the increasing prices on oil with the war in mideast?

"Wow hold on a minute, what you said was all wrong *mutes his mic* What a stupid shithead, honestly, ackackack, I would pimp slap this guy if he would be near me *unmutes mic*"

Mister president I heard everything you said and recorded it. You said you would punch me.

"Whuat? I never said anything like that. This is obviously a fake! You really want to hurt my country, right? Ohmagawd. He literally just made something up because there is no drama around me, wooow. What a fuckin idiot, I can't believe that. You must be ill in your head to believe his stupid narrative. The fact of the matter is that I never said something bad about this reporter, ever. These are cold hard facts, okay?

Well, I digress. Let me give you some perspective. In the last 10 years I built myself to a highly successful president *snort* And when you do some proper research and stop listening to the detracting terrorists, you would realize that there is no war right now. And if you think the howling airraid alarm right now has anything to do with my politics, you are wrong! Everything is fine, I do good politics, other countries LOVE me but - of course - some are really jealous because they have nothing better to do as to give me bad press! Guess what, Europe: If you don't like America, don't watch it! Ack ack ack."

Mister President Mister President, how is the First Lady doing?

"Oh she plays some Overwatch, I guess."

*Time went by in silence*

"Okay, apparently the newspersons won't interact with me anymore. How is this helpful, at all? Well, guess I can't do nothing against my Royal White Knights who throw out most of the reporters - because they asked a silly question - and won't let new ones in. Well okay, bye America *waves* you stupid piece of shit, byyee. I hope you piece of garbage get fixed!"
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Jan 29, 2018
Hearing that terrorism wartime talk in your scenario makes me wonder how Congress would react to that.