DSP vs CWC (Mega $$$ Poll) - A Battle of Financial Exceptionalism

[I'mPushingButtons]

Here is a hypothetical situation:

You have approximately $100 that you have to give away to one of two people.

Those two people are Phil "DarksydePhil" Burnell or Chris "Dirty Crapped Briefs" Chandler.

Both are notorious in their attempts to scam people for money, using deceptive tactics and techniques.
Both recently have come under fire for questionable e-begging schemes.

When making this choice, who would you pick and why? What would be the lesser of two autistic evils?

Would the money be better off going to Phil and Kat for gin and Swchann's dinners?

Or would the money be better off being used for buying Chris new toys and Barb new teeth?

 

[DerelictOnion]

I'd probably pick the guy who is actually mentally challenged. The other one can go get a job or something.

 

[Wing Zero]

Assuming that throwing away/burning the money isn't an option, i'd give it to CWC. At least CWC has actual mental problems - DSP is just a lazy idiot.

 

[IV 445]

CWC has all the problems that DSP has, but throw on his moderate-functioning autism, harrowing upbringing by Barb, and basic social solitude for 10 years, and it’s no wonder he is isolated from common sense or any sense.

 

[Pubic Enemy #1]

Chivalry says it's better to give your money to a fine young woman like Christine.

 

[Sparkletor]

I think for $100, CWC might actually send you something physical, like one of those things he makes or one of his brother's comic books. Giving DSP $100 would get you cool fun emotes and a cheer badge.

 

[Darksydepickle]

If I gave 100$ to DSP, CWC would just sigh, try to fake being depressed for a while and then continue on her merry way.

Meanwhile, if I gave CWC the money, DSP would whine and complain about how he deserved the money because he doesn't have a tugboat and created let's plays and made PDP's career. There's much more milk to get if you give it to CWC.

 

[harbinger]

I'd probably pick the guy who is actually mentally challenged. The other one can go get a job or something.

That doesn’t answer the question. Who would you choose?

...harrowing upbringing [his mom], and basic social solitude for 10 years, and it’s no wonder he is isolated from common sense or any sense.

The similarities are uncanny.

 

[SupremeVictory]

Phil will just buy two new releases and spend the rest on a Cajun turkey from Popeyes for DSP tries Thanksgiving.

With CWC, you get some versatility on what the $$$ will be spent on.

 

[Commander Keen]

I’d give it to DSP 25 cents at a time.

 

[DragoonSierra]

no

 

[This+]

I'll give it to Chris because at the very least he came up with something "original" that people still talk about to this day.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I'd honestly give the money to DSP if you put a gun to my head and made me choose. The whole situation with CWC is weird and abusive and I don't want to fuel any part of it, directly or indirectly. Compared to that, DSP's plain old self-destruction via gin and tax evasion is downright benign.

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

I dont find entertainment in people with mental disabilities, even felt a little sad for the cia nigger hunter when he passed

but if i had $100 worth of bits to bait dave? fuck yeah

 

[Prince Lotor]

If there wasn't a time limit attached I would offer it as a bounty to DSP for something improbable like winning in a BR game after it has been out for a month, just to watch him get serious and invested in trying, spouting all kinds of nonsense about how intelligent each decision to run away and play like a fagot is, and then mile-a-minute excuses when he inevitably potatoe's.

I would also only offer the bounty intermittently on a per match basis as, scientifically, the best way to train a monkey is with intermittent payoffs. Then if he ever actually won the bounty I could still miIk him by offering the bounty until he won again and could harvest some more salt with a 'lol JK'

 

[Julias_Seizure]

DSP because at least with him you'd be able to get some kind of rage. Like offer it to him if he does a stream of DS1 where he joins the forest hunter coveneant and only gets the money if he wins like 20 times and just watch him smash his controller after a couple hours of 3v1 TWOP backstabbing

 

[tarni]

CWC has the decency to support his moobs with bras and those can be pricey. So I would support his support.

 

[tits-Burnell]

I’ve gotta go with CWC, for the simple reason that I Find him far more likeable than darksfedil.

 

[Xenomorph]

Chris actually has made content.

 

[thebonesauce]

Chris needs it more because he’s ACTUALLY in dire straits. Sure he lies about it and keeps saying he’s taking donations, but I’m pretty sure when his father died he took some time off of the internet. You just KNOW D$P would be miIking that shit for all it’s worth. And he wouldn’t just raise money to go back to see his family, he would pretend that HE is the one responsible for everything from the flowers to the coffin. I doubt his parents even want him around.