DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

That Hedonist Nerd

dreN tsinodeH ehT
kiwifarms.net
Oh, the reason he thinks he got a hereditary disease from his dad's sister is because he is a moron. He probably thinks that since Kat's last name is Burnell she is now 50% Italian.
View attachment 815940

So gout is as hereditary as diabetes or obesity. I was under the assumption that you got diabetes and obesity from eating unhealthy all the time but apparently you just get that way from your relatives.

I guess it makes sense since Phil's muscular physique was inherited genetically from his dad being a former body builder.
Studies suggest that the hereditary is actually cultural, rather than genetic. Same with the other ones it lists.
What that means is. his family eats a certain way, and they pass that down to their kids. So while it's not a genetic thing, it's still a thing that gets passed down via the family culture.
 

We Are The Witches

kiwifarms.net
Studies suggest that the hereditary is actually cultural, rather than genetic. Same with the other ones it lists.
What that means is. his family eats a certain way, and they pass that down to their kids. So while it's not a genetic thing, it's still a thing that gets passed down via the family culture.
I believe the term you're looking for is meme, (the unit of cultural transmission by Dawkins).
I'll pass on making jokes about it.
 
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Reactions: millais

Sparkletor 2.0

My first Jonbenet accidentally died
kiwifarms.net
When did he start greasing his hair? I snagged this while rewatching Down the Rabbit Hole and noticed he didn't grease his shit up and slick it back here. Seems a bit fluffy actually. Hate to say it but his hair looks marginally better without the slick.
View attachment 827080
Phil claims that he had to have a buzz cut to work at the helicopter plant. After he was fired out of the blue for no reason he decided to grow it out and slick it back.

People have told him he looked better with the short haircut, but since Kat (his wife *thumb towards door) loves both his full and thick greasy hair and his patchy goatee, they aren't going anywhere.
 

Wurstbrot

I'm not a whiny baby
kiwifarms.net
but since Kat (his wife *thumb towards door) loves both his full and thick greasy hair and his patchy goatee, they aren't going anywhere.
Yeah I can imagine how this went.

Phil: *SNORT* My hair is full and strong Kaht, but, uhm, I'm getting older, you know what I mean? I could toootally go for a shaved head, but I can't do that, the detractors get what they want, okay?
You still like my hair Kaht, riiiight?

Katherine: ........... Uhm.... Yes, it's..... good hair. *nod nod*... Uhm... Phil. I uhm like it... I guess.

Phil: And I one thousand percent agree! It's really amazing hair, look at it, look, it's full and strong. But my stupid mom combed it wrahng so I have those bald spots, nothing I could do, not my fault. Fucking stupid bitch, ack ack ack. Ah mah gahd, what's going on.

Tl;dr
A partner who just repeats what you say without an unique opinion is a worthless addition. Except when you're Phil, this really blowjobs the ego. Surfin on the same wave is fine, however I can't recall a single instance she formed an opinion of her own, or was willing to bring herself in any conversation. If the marriage was her idea I will buy me a hat and eat it.
 
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Abe Vigoda

kiwifarms.net
Yeah I can imagine how this went.

Phil: *SNORT* My hair is full and strong Kaht, but, uhm, I'm getting older, you know what I mean? I could toootally go for a shaved head, but I can't do that, the detractors get what they want, okay?
You still like my hair Kaht, riiiight?

Katherine: ........... Uhm.... Yes, it's..... good hair. *nod nod*... Uhm... Phil. I uhm like it... I guess.

Phil: And I one thousand percent agree! It's really amazing hair, look at it, look, it's full and strong. But my stupid mom combed it wrahng so I have those bald spots, nothing I could do, not my fault. Fucking stupid bitch, ack ack ack. Ah mah gahd, what's going on.

Tl;dr
A partner who just repeats what you say without an unique opinion is a worthless addition. Except when you're Phil, this really blowjobs the ego. Surfin on the same wave is fine, however I can't recall a single instance she formed an opinion of her own, or was willing to bring herself in any conversation. If the marriage was her idea I will buy me a hat and eat it.
He’s said in the past he’s asked his parents and Kat how they feel about his beard “turning white” and they said it still looks ok and they like the way it looks. I’m positive it was a situation where he asked, dripping with insecurity, and they obviously told him it was fine knowing he’s really sensitive about it. He acts like he gets unsolicited compliments all the time, but he’s like a teenage girl and the desperation radiates through the camera. I can’t imagine what living with him is like.
 

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
kiwifarms.net
He should just start wearing the beanie or cowboy hat full time now if he doesn't want to invest in a wig
 

Sparkletor 2.0

My first Jonbenet accidentally died
kiwifarms.net
This might get some hate, but quick question: what has Phil's hair ever done to anyone actually? A lot of people here calls him bald, I have seen his goatee get called patchy and whatnot, what has it ever done to deserve that? Yes, it's attacher to DSP. And? It is very rarely mentioned by DSP, it is never on stream, we have only seen it a few times EVER, and when it did show up people started to dig up his hair stylist to find out Phil had an abusive mom who combed his hair wrong and whatnot. If you support that, I'm sorry but what the fuck is wrong with you?
 
P

PT 940

Guest
kiwifarms.net
I don't think it has anything to do with him "deserving" to have his hair loss talked about, it's just that it's noticeable and people want to discuss it
 

DankSydePhil

Shout out LSB, DarkDave, Tevin, and Soma
kiwifarms.net
This might get some hate, but quick question: what has Phil's hair ever done to anyone actually? A lot of people here calls him bald, I have seen his goatee get called patchy and whatnot, what has it ever done to deserve that? Yes, it's attacher to DSP. And? It is very rarely mentioned by DSP, it is never on stream, we have only seen it a few times EVER, and when it did show up people started to dig up his hair stylist to find out Phil had an abusive mom who combed his hair wrong and whatnot. If you support that, I'm sorry but what the fuck is wrong with you?
Its funny cause in a few years we're guaranteed i need this money for hair replacing surgery cause its effecting my job ark, And his goatee is patchy cause he picks at it every 5 mins while staring at chat looking for someone to hold his hand in a game.
 

PreferredPenne

Easy to eat
kiwifarms.net
This might get some hate, but quick question: what has Phil's hair ever done to anyone actually? A lot of people here calls him bald, I have seen his goatee get called patchy and whatnot, what has it ever done to deserve that? Yes, it's attacher to DSP. And? It is very rarely mentioned by DSP, it is never on stream, we have only seen it a few times EVER, and when it did show up people started to dig up his hair stylist to find out Phil had an abusive mom who combed his hair wrong and whatnot. If you support that, I'm sorry but what the fuck is wrong with you?
Because "the realest motherfucker with the thickest skin on the internet" gets triggered by it.

So there you go.
 

Prince Lotor

It's my fucking day off! What?
kiwifarms.net
This might get some hate, but quick question: what has Phil's hair ever done to anyone actually? A lot of people here calls him bald, I have seen his goatee get called patchy and whatnot, what has it ever done to deserve that? Yes, it's attacher to DSP. And? It is very rarely mentioned by DSP, it is never on stream, we have only seen it a few times EVER, and when it did show up people started to dig up his hair stylist to find out Phil had an abusive mom who combed his hair wrong and whatnot. If you support that, I'm sorry but what the fuck is wrong with you?
Phil's goatee obfuscates his saggy, jowly double chin and draws attention away from his large wart, thereby robbing me of the amusement looking at his sad face would give me and the entertainment I would get seeing narc chimp-outs from Phil about how 'It's naht my fault, my aunt pinched my cheecks wrong as a child and stretched my skin out there. . .yeah, it's always been like that'; and thus Phil's goatee is complicit in the greater ass-hattery of one Phillip Paul Burnell including such acts as personally calling you mentally ill and saying you deserve to be involuntarily subjected to Electro-Convulsive-Therapy.

From observing it's behavior I believe Phil's hair is inherently bigoted against the unadorned scalp, and complicit in the bald-shaming implications of statements made by one Phillip Paul Burnell that have been so hurtful against sufferers of Alopecia areata (some of whom are veterans!), cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy, and Uncle Fester who engages in self-harm due to self-esteem issues related to his unique appearance.

As to his general body-hair I need only reference the traumatically scarring images of one Phillip Paul Burnell's Shower video series and the horrors they have inflicted on generations of True Gamers, who weren't paid shills playing games fully a week early on Twitch, and are now being led down the dark path of paid promotions and sponsorships.

In short: Fuck no, Phil's hair does not get a free-pass from me :mad:
 

Schmeckel

Praise 'til you're hollow
kiwifarms.net
I can't wait for Phil to be sporting a new type of hairstyle, coupled with some extreme shielding of the back of his head. We all know that as soon as he goes back to sporting some sort of head covering, he'll have had some transplant action happen. The amount of begging to cover said procedure will go up ten-fold.

vpmos3bkfna31.jpg
 
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