DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

Wurstbrot

I'm not a whiny baby
kiwifarms.net
Why doesn't just do what every other man does when he starts to go bold, just shave that shit off.
Shave what off? He has full, healthy, strong, intelligent, adult, street smart hair. Also Khet likes it and his expensive hairstylist from another town agrees with him, is also a big fan and loves his content. Only conspiracy theorists who think the world is black and white would write trollish mentally ill comments like this, when in truth this is not how reality works, sorry to say, but this is the truth. He can't do it anyway, he has no time because he's constantly working.

Okay, I'm out of Phil-quotes.

His hair is just like his house, his cat, the other Kat. It has to exist to confirm his success and power over negative detractors.
 
Last edited:

Mask_de_SMITH

I'm not a Monster, it's only a Mask
kiwifarms.net
Why doesn't just do what every other man does when he starts to go bold, just shave that shit off.
It all stems from Phil's denial that he's getting old: shaving his hair would confirm in his mind that he's losing hair, and that's something old people do, and Phil's not old guys! He's a spry, able-bodied man! That's why he has thinning hair, a bad back, gout, post-nasal drip, and why he has to take walks around his house so he "doesn't get blood clots".

He's just deathly afraid of getting old, so as long as he doesn't have to do anything that give attention to the fact that he's damn near his forties, then it's all good for him. This is a common trait among manbabies.
 

strandedcastaway

kiwifarms.net
It all comes down to denial. If he hadn't repeatedly said he wasn't losing his hair, he could admit he's like most other guys and losing his hair. Unlike the rest of his failings, this one actually isn't his fault, but for some reason (that reason being Phil's being a bitter little man) it became something to "debate". I mean buddy, we can all see your hair is fading fast. Let it gooooooooo.
 

PreferredPenne

Easy to eat
kiwifarms.net
It all stems from Phil's denial that he's getting old: shaving his hair would confirm in his mind that he's losing hair, and that's something old people do, and Phil's not old guys! He's a spry, able-bodied man! That's why he has thinning hair, a bad back, gout, post-nasal drip, and why he has to take walks around his house so he "doesn't get blood clots".

He's just deathly afraid of getting old, so as long as he doesn't have to do anything that give attention to the fact that he's damn near his forties, then it's all good for him. This is a common trait among manbabies.
In Phil's mind, the moment you turn 50 you become frail and weak and may crumble into dust if somebody breathes in your direction. That's why his parents are on death's door and he could easily take out Mike Tyson.
 

Immortal Technique

©™
kiwifarms.net
I think he's scared of two things with cutting off those petroleum hair-locks: he can't buzz it anymore because that Mariana Trench will still be highlighted with him having black hair & he doesn't want to shave it off due to razor costs, the effort, and it usually has to be done 3-4 times in week.
 

Nigel of Ukip

Leader of the EU Meme Black Market
kiwifarms.net

Schmeckel

Praise 'til you're hollow
kiwifarms.net
Seriously, Phil. Just suck it up and buzz it down. Buzz your head, shave that awful fucking abomination around your food-hole, and look almost semi-kinda-normal.

Watch. One of these days, he'll go on his day off and do exactly that and he'll make some stupid shit up about how he wanted to do it for a long time, but he had to convince Kat and Ja$per to let him, because they both LOVED his grease mop.
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net
Man he should just shave it off at this point, damn. Balding sucks but it happens, it's a common thing.

Can't wait for that one day he walks on stream with a dollar store toupee on or a horrible comb over and not adress it at all.
Man, as a fellow boomer his hair is still better than mine, I'm just not in denial. He just needs to do something different with his hair. We know he doesn't like taking care of his hair, I don't know why he grows it out just so he can wet it and slick it back. Slicking your hair back is not a good idea when your hairline is receding and people haven't done it since the 90s. I'm really sure both Kat and Leanna liked it, sure, yes.

To be fair his hair isn't too bad for a 40 year old, I've seen way worse from Twitch streamers in their 20s/early 30s.

1566473763595.png

Asmongold - Age 27

1566473908449.png

Reckful - Age 30 (28 in this top down view)

1566474188393.png

Dansgaming - Age 31 (How is this guy only 31? I swear he's looked like he's 45 for the past 10 years)
 
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino