DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

[twattycake]

From today's stream:

Spoiler: large image

It looks like his hairline is receding more on our left (his right) than our right. I've never heard of an asymmetrical widow's peak but I have heard of men doing ridiculous things with their combovers to try and save face. His bald spot must be bigger than my palm by now.

 

[Son of Big Boss]

From today's stream:

Spoiler: large image

It looks like his hairline is receding more on our left (his right) than our right. I've never heard of an asymmetrical widow's peak but I have heard of men doing ridiculous things with their combovers to try and save face. His bald spot must be bigger than my palm by now.

As a thinning hair guy myself (shaved my head years ago and never looked back), yeah, Male Pattern Baldness is weird like that.
Hair usually recedes/thins faster on one side, usually on the right.

The more obvious the difference between the right and left sides, the more easily you can tell the stage he's at.

He's approaching Norwood 3 fast. Eventually what will happen is that the hole he covers with his combovers will grow in size more and more, until the entire top part of his head will be thinner than his sides. When that happens, he will really start to hate bright lights.

 

[Schmeckel]

From today's stream:

Spoiler: large image

It looks like his hairline is receding more on our left (his right) than our right. I've never heard of an asymmetrical widow's peak but I have heard of men doing ridiculous things with their combovers to try and save face. His bald spot must be bigger than my palm by now.

Got the ol' Burnelli Sine Wave going.

 

[Freshtodeath]

The problem is when he shaves his head he looks like a retarded person. But it would look better than the slicked back look.

 

[Cistern Rumbler]

I don't even care if he keeps slicking it, or shaves it, or just leaves it as long as it is but unslicked---the problem is he's completely delusional about what's going on with his hair. He thinks his headphones made him go bald at the front...

No, just no.

 

[SojiroSakura]

That balding line going straight down his hair is clearly visible now on his tiny cam without needing to zoom in. You can see it every time he leans forward or towards the chat.

 

[Third_World_Detractor]

Debunked?

 

[Prince Lotor]

Debunked?

View attachment 1965693

He's actually insane. The bald ditch is still clearly visible underneath the hair he crisscrosses over it. He literally meticulously weaves his hair over his bald spot to try to hide it every morning and he thinks it grew back in.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

He's actually insane. The bald ditch is still clearly visible underneath the hair he crisscrosses over it. He literally meticulously weaves his hair over his bald spot to try to hide it every morning and he thinks it grew back in.

Oh don't worry deep down I'm sure he knows, he's just projecting his insecurities about his hair. Phil eventually all men start to grow in a different sort of hair line, it thins out at a certain age differing from person to person and depending on your genetic lottery, you could either end up from a full healthy head of hair in your early 20s and be bald by your 30s or manage to hold on to most of your hair by your 50's mostly only growing from your widows peak until it slowly starts turning grey until you become noticeably bald (which seems to be happening to him for the most part, he's lost a lot of hair near the front of his scalp and it's becoming less prominent on the top of his head, but it could be a whole lot worse for him, once again he's over exaggerating his predicament and doesn't understand that by saying to people these fucken idiots have no clue what they're talking about, have actually gotten to his nerves and Phil know's they're right, but because he's a narcissist he won't admit that).

 

[Cistern Rumbler]

His hairline is Y Posing.

 

[Schmeckel]

His hairline is Y Posing.

View attachment 1978061

Full and thicc, headphone hair loss is a conspiracy theory, you nudnik.

 

[mrfinlandman]

I don't understand why he thinks it's shameful to admit his hair is thinning. It happens to half the men at his age. Is he trying to pretend he's younger than he is? I just don't get it. I know the simple explanation is that he's "proud" but I think something deeper than that going on

 

[Stoneheart]

I don't understand why he thinks it's shameful to admit his hair is thinning.

Because bad hair is a sign of bad character...

 

[Anal birth]

His hairline is Y Posing.

View attachment 1978061

Praise the sun!

 

[Sugar Puppet]

His hairline is Y Posing.

View attachment 1978061

Are we at Norwood 3? We can't really see the baldspot from this angle though, Norwood 4 maybe?

 

[Cistern Rumbler]

Are we at Norwood 3? We can't really see the baldspot from this angle though, Norwood 4 maybe?

View attachment 1982236

I'm going with 4.

 

[Wurstbrot]

I'm going with 4.

And since his ahnline khantent days it was never less than 3. He just hid it under a beanie in shame.

 

[SojiroSakura]

Holy shit.

I think we're already at 5.

 

[Scotty]

He'll continue "blaming his headphones." for losing his hair. Or, he'll blame his parents. Remember, he did nothing wrong. He did everything correct.

 

[twattycake]

I don't understand why he thinks it's shameful to admit his hair is thinning. It happens to half the men at his age. Is he trying to pretend he's younger than he is? I just don't get it. I know the simple explanation is that he's "proud" but I think something deeper than that going on

As someone with a Sigmund Freud avatar I am objectively qualified to perform the shitpostiest of psychiatric analyses - my guess is that it reminds him he's wasted his life and would rather live in denial than fix the problem:

Spoiler: Spergery

When Phil first appeared on YT in ~2008 he was in his mid-20s but had the lifestyle and abilities of someone in his teens or early 20s-could barely cook or do basic chores (remember his mother did his laundry until he moved to Renton!), lived on takeout, you get the picture. Ten-plus years later little has changed - his Serious Mature Adult props have gotten more expensive (live-in maid, a bigger condo) but he still has not grown up that much. He still lives on takeout, still can't take care of his property, hell he gets his news from fucking BuzzFeed. I don't care what your politics are are that site is retarded and so is anyone who takes it seriously. Supposedly Rambo made a similar comment in his podcast that Phil knows deep down he's a manchild and is incredibly defensive about it (full disclosure I have not listened to it and can't be bothered to).

Now what does this wall of autism have to do with his hair, you might reasonably ask? Because it reminds him he's wasted his life and the time he has left to fix it is finite. Put another way he lives the way he does because he normally thinks old age or death is so far away that he doesn't have to even worry about it. Phil is also an extremely vain man who seems to see himself as this young, hip Gigachad and who mistakes TV sitcoms (where bald = old and bald = lame) for reality so going bald cuts him deep - he's wasted his life thus far and has a relatively small amount of time to unfuck it. He can't even ignore it as easily as his other misadventures unless he wants to never look in a mirror for the rest of his life because this is something he can't just block on social media. So yeah, it's just another reminder of his wasted life and he's living in denial than dealing with the problem. It's the same reason he had a meltdown during the now-infamous "Scarface" LP where he said something along the lines of, "I don't want to waste any more of my one life on this game" or how trolls are wasting their lives laughing at the balding obese grifter. He's living in denial but every now and then something breaks through and that triggers him like nothing else. He's also a complete hermit so the kinds of events that would make the rest of us reexamine our lives like a friend or family member having a kid/getting very sick/passing away just don't happen in his little world.