DSP's Thanksgiving Day Victimhood 2018 - A Holiday tradition

  • Registration closed, comedy forum, Internet drama, Sneed, etc.

What will the Big Reveal be?

  • Muh Depression

    Votes: 4 3.4%
  • Muh Taxes

    Votes: 65 54.6%
  • Elderly parent fallen ill

    Votes: 14 11.8%
  • Kat escaped

    Votes: 9 7.6%
  • Cut in Youtube Money

    Votes: 19 16.0%
  • Mystery Illness

    Votes: 8 6.7%

  • Total voters
    119
  • Poll closed .

draculapenis

Two legendary Pokemon go 'round the outside
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 25, 2018
Fuck Dave.

"I'm 35, I can't get another job!" Walmart hires the most exceptional people to work there. They hire cripples. They hire drug addicts. They hire 70+ people. No excuse.

My Dad worked until he was 55 at a family business. Left and then worked as a carrier (long distance same day shipping). 60, the state hires him and he does pretty damn good now.

There is always a job out there for those who want it.
Here's my question for the "get a job" crowd: how is he going to get a job that pays anywhere NEAR as much as he makes now? He's really backed himself into a corner here because he has no job-relevant skills (though admittedly he'd make a decent shock lock dolling out stupid contrarian opinions and listening to himself talk), no experience, and really no attributes applicable to a job that could make him what streaming makes him. I feel zero pity for him because this is 10,000% his own doing because he has no money skills and he puts zero effort into his content, but getting a job would literally take away from begging time, which makes him way more per hour than a Walmart job.

There are a lot of things he could do if he was smart and not lazy, but one easy thing to do would be sell the house and the condo (not hard to sell as a FSBO, moron), and just move SOMEWHERE that's cheap with decent internet. Literally all he needs is internet. His contrived reasoning for staying in his house and keeping the condo is one of the least sensible parts of the DSPhere to me. It would solve his current alleged tax debt as well as drastically cut his monthly payments. Move to South Carolina or some shit, it's warm there, Mr. Post-nasal Drip.Honestly, his inability to see this as a possible way out kind of makes me think he's just 100% lying about being in any kind of debt at all, and he's just trying to build up the nest egg before disappearing.
 

Ching_Chong

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 16, 2017
Here's my question for the "get a job" crowd: how is he going to get a job that pays anywhere NEAR as much as he makes now? He's really backed himself into a corner here because he has no job-relevant skills (though admittedly he'd make a decent shock lock dolling out stupid contrarian opinions and listening to himself talk), no experience, and really no attributes applicable to a job that could make him what streaming makes him. I feel zero pity for him because this is 10,000% his own doing because he has no money skills and he puts zero effort into his content, but getting a job would literally take away from begging time, which makes him way more per hour than a Walmart job.

There are a lot of things he could do if he was smart and not lazy, but one easy thing to do would be sell the house and the condo (not hard to sell as a FSBO, moron), and just move SOMEWHERE that's cheap with decent internet. Literally all he needs is internet. His contrived reasoning for staying in his house and keeping the condo is one of the least sensible parts of the DSPhere to me. It would solve his current alleged tax debt as well as drastically cut his monthly payments. Move to South Carolina or some shit, it's warm there, Mr. Post-nasal Drip.Honestly, his inability to see this as a possible way out kind of makes me think he's just 100% lying about being in any kind of debt at all, and he's just trying to build up the nest egg before disappearing.

He has to rearrange his schedule, whether it's doing one stream and then going to work or quit streaming and get multiple jobs. Along with downsizing his lifestyle.

He should be dumping his Washington house, using the equity to pay off his debt. Then moving back home to his condo or a cheaper state. Dump the new car for a decent, older used car since he doesn't drive.

If he stayed streaming, he should pick a game or 3 and stick with those staples. Utilize Steam or something. Plenty of ultra cheap good games.

I'm sure others can go into more details. He's just a lazy fuck who wants handouts instead of doing these supposed changes he didn't list.
 

samovski

feelsoldman
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 25, 2018
https://thekingofhate.com/forums/topic/4571-thoughts-on-state-of-the-stream/

The topic Amityville was not involved with has potential for triggering Phil. Folk might want to keep an eye on it.

http://archive.md/MCQve

Saved it as is for now. There's a very good chance that's getting removed soon.

Sorry if someone else already has.

Edit - Nich getting all detractory again.

Capture.PNG


Gonna be pedantic but "definitely" not defiantly. Always bothers me when people Misspell it like that.
 

PieceofShet

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 18, 2017
Here's my question for the "get a job" crowd: how is he going to get a job that pays anywhere NEAR as much as he makes now? He's really backed himself into a corner here because he has no job-relevant skills (though admittedly he'd make a decent shock lock dolling out stupid contrarian opinions and listening to himself talk), no experience, and really no attributes applicable to a job that could make him what streaming makes him. I feel zero pity for him because this is 10,000% his own doing because he has no money skills and he puts zero effort into his content, but getting a job would literally take away from begging time, which makes him way more per hour than a Walmart job.

There are a lot of things he could do if he was smart and not lazy, but one easy thing to do would be sell the house and the condo (not hard to sell as a FSBO, moron), and just move SOMEWHERE that's cheap with decent internet. Literally all he needs is internet. His contrived reasoning for staying in his house and keeping the condo is one of the least sensible parts of the DSPhere to me. It would solve his current alleged tax debt as well as drastically cut his monthly payments. Move to South Carolina or some shit, it's warm there, Mr. Post-nasal Drip.Honestly, his inability to see this as a possible way out kind of makes me think he's just 100% lying about being in any kind of debt at all, and he's just trying to build up the nest egg before disappearing.

He can do streaming while having a part time, hell.. Even a full time job. He just doesnt wanna do it.
 

Wurstbrot

Yikes, amateur night
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 29, 2018
Edit - Nich getting all detractory again.

capture-png.599117
I really like this Nich guy. I wish him all the pineapples he can eat.

But yeah, stated everywhere multiple times but I just want to roll in those cozy facts again. For years he has lowered himself in a hot acid-pit, people told him there is this acid-pit, animals fell into the acid-pit in scream, the walls were melting, the acid-pit made loud bubble sounds, there are several documentations and scientific papers about the dangers of the acid-pit and the crazy man who refuses to leave his situation, entire newschannel cover the acid-pit which can also be seen on several TVs in the same cave as the acid-pit, his shoes fell into the acid-pit and literally exploded by contact, and now he is low enough to get his stick man-legs corroded away.

And just now at the last second he cries for help - very little too late. But not to leave the hot acid-pit but to get heft back up to a point where the slow lowering into the acid-pit matters too little, and please replace his legs.

You just have to love this lolcow. Get burned Dave, as 99,9% is your fault and you won't even notice it.
 
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ProdigalDuke

Boundless and Bare
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 8, 2017
Oh man. This motherfucker spends Thanksgiving literally crying on the internet, begging for money from teenagers and mentally challenged racists/perverts, just so he can continue his borderline alcoholic, lazy, disgusting, diabetes filled lifestyle for a few more months. All the while his frail, aging parents spend their twilight years stressed and worried about their ungrateful son, who they just want to see one more time.

BUT WE'RE JUST JEALOUS :story:
 

Hungrymandinner

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 21, 2018
Here's my question for the "get a job" crowd: how is he going to get a job that pays anywhere NEAR as much as he makes now? He's really backed himself into a corner here because he has no job-relevant skills (though admittedly he'd make a decent shock lock dolling out stupid contrarian opinions and listening to himself talk), no experience, and really no attributes applicable to a job that could make him what streaming makes him. I feel zero pity for him because this is 10,000% his own doing because he has no money skills and he puts zero effort into his content, but getting a job would literally take away from begging time, which makes him way more per hour than a Walmart job.
The lack of marketable skills and yawning resume gap are both huge obstacles to Phil getting gainful employment, but I’d argue his tahxic reputation is an even bigger one. Any competent HR person will do a basic Google / LinkedIn / Facebook search on a candidate in order to weed out the crazies. Phil will never make it past that phase.

Thus his realistic options are:
  • Stream ‘til he dies.
  • Declare bankruptcy. Get a minimum wage job ($15 / hr in Seattle, which is not bad). Marry Kat. Apply for some kind of financial assistance if necessary. Maybe work towards self-employment or a trade. This would undoubtedly be his best option for his physical, social, and mental health.
  • Inherit money from parents. His parents aren’t dead yet, though. We also don’t know that Phil will be their heir or the amount he stands to inherit. If they need to enter assisted living or a nursing home, that money will go up in smoke.
  • Get on disability. This is a brisk business in a number of rust belt towns, where close to 25% of the population is on disability.
I kind of hope I can watch 50-year-old Phil ineffectually play his PlayStation 7 in 2035 while complaining about the cost of his insulin and Lipitor. Maybe there’ll be a Phil Jr that he drags on stream for pity bucks.
 

Filthy Greenskin

professional git krumper
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 1, 2018
Here's my question for the "get a job" crowd: how is he going to get a job that pays anywhere NEAR as much as he makes now? He's really backed himself into a corner here because he has no job-relevant skills (though admittedly he'd make a decent shock lock dolling out stupid contrarian opinions and listening to himself talk), no experience, and really no attributes applicable to a job that could make him what streaming makes him. I feel zero pity for him because this is 10,000% his own doing because he has no money skills and he puts zero effort into his content, but getting a job would literally take away from begging time, which makes him way more per hour than a Walmart job.

I would say that while he has fuck-all in terms of job skills, it's not too late to start from the bottom and have a decent management position in 5-10 years of hard work with a fairly good wage, career changes in late 30s-early 40s are still doable. What Phil doesn't have is a hard work ethic, he puts in minimal effort and expects maximum gain, which is why he'll never progress any further than a basic work position.
 

Wurstbrot

Yikes, amateur night
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 29, 2018
Just watched/skimmed the stream. Kind of hard not to feel kind of bad for him, even if it's a hole he dug himself.
That is what he's aiming for, maybe it would have worked if he would have started his crying some months earlier where he and his piggies still had time. It's hard to feel sorry when he was aware of this problem for months and now claims he has not a single dollar left. It's also hard if you know he dedicated his life to be the most toxic person on the internet. He gives no fucks, he entirely hopes his piggies will catch his problems in it's entirety, in an instant.

Too bad for him. There are hundreds of thousands who deserve a better life, did little to nothing to end in a bad situation and it would be so damn great to help them. But a lazy scammer who purposely steered his life in a black hole deserves no pity. I'll grap my popcorn and watch this sack of evil flesh grind down in the machine of life.
 

ReentryPhantom

Based
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 29, 2018
"YouTube has initiated a new policy for the MCNs called “Know Your Customers”, and initiated the 50/90 rule. Basically it says that if the network ( all channels combined ) suffers 50 violations of YouTube rules in 90 days, the network will get suspended from YouTube for a time and multiple suspensions will result in a permanent ban. So YouTube says they must review every video there partners upload, or release channels that have the potential of violating YouTubes rules. That means they are releasing tons of channels. Especially gamers if you play anything but “ Care Bears” & “My little pony”, unless you are a top earner. MCNs are now increasing the basic stats to be able to join as a result, along with dropping channels."

Interesting find on plebbit. My take away from this, (if it is true) is that they got rid of all the small-time YT channels that were on their network because they couldn't feasibly monitor all of them.
 

Fuckyoudad

just belted your mother before posting this
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 6, 2018
16k in 5 months could be doable. Depending on the actual situation minus any embellishment. There's only one actual reality here afterall. At the same time this is Phil Burnell, a known swindler of as many uncouth and unsocialized potato heads as he can manage to lure into his funny farm. We know there will have been half-truths sprinkled throughout the state of the stream - it just depends on which parts he decided to tart up for the sake of appearances. I'll try to be kind and optimistic and go with the obvious stuff like his recounting of the Curse termination and the blessed life with the perfect gal he's decided he wants to marry. Curse liked him so much they were ready get on their knees and blow him during the meeting. They loved everything about him. Dumbfuck bumfuck Youtube practises and actual "evil" trolls are to blame for them needing to let him go. Okay.. a little chest puffing there but let's say the mass flagging actually worked and his story is mostly true. I can buy that.

I can't quite believe he and Kat are at once, living in bliss, loving life together, perfect for each other and have decided on marriage while also at the same time - living in a daily debt nightmare with "zero dollars" to go towards it. While spending a whole one day a week together going to garbage dumps and hanging around animal shelters watching neglected dogs and cats shaking in cages looking for a little affection - going home empty handed each time because Daddy Phil already has one Kat to feed. This story is fucking mental to me and considering the well documented history of trying to force a last minute engagement (his mashing of random wakeup super if you will) to salvage a relationship. And the follow up strategy of shuffling said soulmate into a key position of "I need to keep my house so I can move muh gurl in otherwise eventhough we're soulmates, we can't be together!". I think it's safe to say if Phil has a daily quota of bullshit to excrete then this is probably where the most of it spilled out.

You can make some allowances for added nonsense throughout but generally let's say he does owe 16k in taxes. Some folks around here like @actually , @EddyB43 and @SoapQueen1 are in a better position to comment on his profit margins. Far as I seem to recall I think these guys were talking along the lines of Phil needing to hit at minimum 5k a month before he starts to see any real profit at all? Fact is he always seems to clear that with ease.

He might have to blackshirt it more often but the reality of his situation and the meaning behind "tough it out" reads to me like a soft-admittance that he knows he burns through money all because the piglets keep funding the lifestyle. Toughing it out is what he should have been doing for the last 5 years and because the amount is so high - we might actually be seeing a flicker of self awareness and spark of responsibility well up inside him here. Don't get me wrong he still wants YOU (YES YOU!) to pay for it all and bail his ass out again like last year and every forseeable year in the future.

But it might actually mean doing away with all extraneous treats and non-essential fluff for half a year. Living like a couple of broke college kids on cup noodles (with forks not spoons), shopping at walmart (god no anything but that?!) and doing without his beloved entertainment subscriptions and being held to a single KFC binge a month. All this is actual nightmare fuel to Phil.. for any normal thinking person it's simply enduring and doing what's necessary to rectify the fact that you have been and continue to be an absolute mong with money.

With some extra begathons and crybaby insistence that moving to a smaller apartment will literally kill him I can see him getting over the line. The DSP mental defective ensemble will lurch out of the shadows like they always do to get a verbal tongue lashing from Master Dark and then hand over their pennies. Trolls will do their bit too because they can't fucking help themselves. The Pigroachian blood cannot be underestimated.. it adds +15 to his Luck stats.
 

Wing Zero

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 12, 2018
http://archive.md/MCQve
Edit - Nich getting all detractory again.

View attachment 599117

Nich never ceases to annoy me, cause you'd think at SOME point that he'd realize that trying to give Phil reasonable advice and thinking Phil will take said advice is a waste of fucking time.

Nich, if you ever read this, let me make it clear to you. Phil doesn't want your opinions or your advice - just be an obedient little whale and throw money at him, cause that's the only reason he gives a fuck about you or any of his braindead fanboys.

Also, if he needs 16k that means he actually needs like 20k cause Twitch would take their cut.

Correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty certain Twitch takes their cut when someone purchases the bits, hence why 5000 bits costs like 60 bucks.
 

actually

Forum Staff
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
Here's my question for the "get a job" crowd: how is he going to get a job that pays anywhere NEAR as much as he makes now? He's really backed himself into a corner here because he has no job-relevant skills (though admittedly he'd make a decent shock lock dolling out stupid contrarian opinions and listening to himself talk), no experience, and really no attributes applicable to a job that could make him what streaming makes him. I feel zero pity for him because this is 10,000% his own doing because he has no money skills and he puts zero effort into his content, but getting a job would literally take away from begging time, which makes him way more per hour than a Walmart job.

There are a lot of things he could do if he was smart and not lazy, but one easy thing to do would be sell the house and the condo (not hard to sell as a FSBO, moron), and just move SOMEWHERE that's cheap with decent internet. Literally all he needs is internet. His contrived reasoning for staying in his house and keeping the condo is one of the least sensible parts of the DSPhere to me. It would solve his current alleged tax debt as well as drastically cut his monthly payments. Move to South Carolina or some shit, it's warm there, Mr. Post-nasal Drip.Honestly, his inability to see this as a possible way out kind of makes me think he's just 100% lying about being in any kind of debt at all, and he's just trying to build up the nest egg before disappearing.

1) Sell the WAkhando. Set aside some of the profit to facilitate a move back to CT and storage for items that can't/won't be able to be sold. Use remaining money to pay down highest interest debt.

2) Get one of those "easy" 9-to-5 jobs to establish a source of steady and known income.

3) Stream in the evenings from 8-11 or 9-12 and on the weekends for longer times (10-6, with a break for lunch).

4) Incorporate some fucking PC gaming to take advantage of the free (Fortnite, Warframe, Path of Exile, etc.) and cheap games available there in addition to console stuff. Stop trying to buy every single AAA new release at full price and realize that you're not big enough for people to be watching simply because it's a new game.

5) Pay down your debt and stop using credit cards to pay for everything.

6) Save up some money to move into a 2 or 3 bedroom home in a suburban area to maximize space while keeping cost-of-living down.

This shit's not hard. The job he gets doesn't have to match what he's making now. It just needs to provide stable income with (ideally) some insurance and retirement benefits. Shitloads of much more successful and popular streamers either used to or still do have part- or full-time jobs!

16k in 5 months could be doable.

Keep in mind that that $16k is in addition to what he normally brings in (around $6-8k). That's right--he wants $16,000 on top of what he normally gets. Of course, doesn't this just result in the same problem he had last year when the influx of money led to a higher tax payment that he griped about? Weird.
 

Eekum Bokum

British Wanker
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 26, 2017
Here's my question for the "get a job" crowd: how is he going to get a job that pays anywhere NEAR as much as he makes now? He's really backed himself into a corner here because he has no job-relevant skills (though admittedly he'd make a decent shock lock dolling out stupid contrarian opinions and listening to himself talk), no experience, and really no attributes applicable to a job that could make him what streaming makes him. I feel zero pity for him because this is 10,000% his own doing because he has no money skills and he puts zero effort into his content, but getting a job would literally take away from begging time, which makes him way more per hour than a Walmart job.

There are a lot of things he could do if he was smart and not lazy, but one easy thing to do would be sell the house and the condo (not hard to sell as a FSBO, moron), and just move SOMEWHERE that's cheap with decent internet. Literally all he needs is internet. His contrived reasoning for staying in his house and keeping the condo is one of the least sensible parts of the DSPhere to me. It would solve his current alleged tax debt as well as drastically cut his monthly payments. Move to South Carolina or some shit, it's warm there, Mr. Post-nasal Drip.Honestly, his inability to see this as a possible way out kind of makes me think he's just 100% lying about being in any kind of debt at all, and he's just trying to build up the nest egg before disappearing.

A job is stable income as opposed to relaying on donations and ads.

If he wanted her could work monday to friday and stream on the weekends then stagger videos for the weekday. But like others have stated he's just lazy.
 

Pubic Enemy #1

Oi m8 wot if ur mam was an email
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 1, 2018
Did he even mention the kahndo at all yesterday? He made reference to "moving back to the east coast" that I can remember but that old kahndo just seems to have been completely memory-holed. Yeah, he's underwater on it and selling it wouldn't solve his problems, but it would make the problems he has less severe.
 

Wurstbrot

Yikes, amateur night
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 29, 2018
I [not really] wonder if this is a scam against these finance company he wants to depend on, or whatevs this was. He claimed he has to show a stable income to get their help. So, he wants to show this until April, gets their money and then he is free to not be stable anymore? I don't think this is what they had in mind.

Feel free to correct me or add details because Dave told literally a dozen stories at the same time which somehow connect to each other. Especially the very real fact that Tevin ruined everything. Goddammit Tevin.
 

ReentryPhantom

Based
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 29, 2018
I [not really] wonder if this is a scam against these finance company he wants to depend on, or whatevs this was. He claimed he has to show a stable income to get their help. So, he wants to show this until April, gets their money and then he is free to not be stable anymore? I don't think this is what they had in mind.

Feel free to correct me or add details because Dave told literally a dozen stories at the same time which somehow connect to each other. Especially the very real fact that Tevin ruined everything. Goddammit Tevin.
That is a good observation. The $16k is probably what is needed to show that "consistent income"
 

WeeblesWobble

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 30, 2017
He can do streaming while having a part time, hell.. Even a full time job. He just doesnt wanna do it.
He should have done this YEARS ago. He ain't Markiplier, he ain't Dr. Disrespect. The man needs to supplement his income because it isn't stable. He could easily work a part time, first shift job, come home and get situated, run a stream for a few hours then clock out of that and do whatever he wants. Save every penny that comes from the job. He wouldn't be making a shit ton of money but Washington is moving towards a $15 minimum wage and right now it's sitting at $12 for 2019. Phil never thought about what he would do if this shit falls apart, and he obviously never expected it to since he bought a new house and a brand new car, and didn't save any money. Anybody who gives him money towards that 16k to help pay whatever bills or whatever is out of their minds. If things don't completely fall apart then Phil will never change.