DSP's Typical Day -

SoapQueen1

speed bump, failed business, retired tism wrangler
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Making this it's own thread for posterity and for people to make fun of specifically:

DSP's typical workday:
  1. Wake up
  2. Wash up (which obviously doesn't mean bathe)
  3. Use the restroom (still has to 1.5 hours later before playing a game tho)
  4. Sit with Kat for 20 minutes getting something to drink and maybe eating breakfast
  5. Stream
  6. [Implied upload to YouTube]
  7. Make dinner (lol no he doesn't)
  8. Clean up the house a bit (lol no he doesn't)
  9. (The above two things apparently take him about 2 hours)
  10. Has 20-30 minutes of time before stream to watch wrasslin'
  11. Stream
  12. Upload to YouTube
  13. Watch wrasslin' and drink gin

DSP's typical day off:
  1. Wake up around 10 AM
  2. Go out to eat for breakfast
    Do errands
  3. Walk around the mall BUT NOT TO SPEND MONEY JUST TO EXERCISE
  4. Get home around 9 PM
Dude wants us to believe that he's so fucking busy when he's not streaming and all he can come up with to fill 2.5 hours 5 days a week is "dinner, dishes, and tidying up" for a household of two adults, no children, and no pets. AND WATCHING TV.

Dude wants us to believe that he's so fucking busy on his day off and all he can come up with to fill 11 hours is "errands, and restaurants" for a household of two adults, no children, and no pets.

Like if he's really so fucking busy you'd think he could come up with more shit he has to do than "bathe, cook, eat, clean, buy groceries/supplies."
 

The Last Stand

The smartest twins on the planet.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He probably watches Tevin from time to time.

For a person with a "strong" internet presence, he sure is sedentary. Doesn't leave his gated community, let alone his house the majority of his life. Little human interaction and even has a slave to buy groceries and such. He is the definition of a hermit.
 
Z

ZB 584

Guest
kiwifarms.net
No wonder he's so miserable, if this is how he goes about his day. No face to face social interaction, outside of his ugly wife (who probably dislikes him) and confining himself to the khando. Pissing away his life, and deep down he knows it. Can't really blame piggie for finding comfort in the gin bottle every night.

Should probably also add "read KF" to his average day.
 

Draventren

kiwifarms.net
Who the fuck cleans their house every day? He obviously doesn't, i doubt the place sees more than vacuuming once every few months, but why even claim that you clean the house every day? How much of a mess could you make that requires daily upkeep?
 

SkippyLongbottom

kiwifarms.net
Who the fuck cleans their house every day? He obviously doesn't, i doubt the place sees more than vacuuming once every few months, but why even claim that you clean the house every day? How much of a mess could you make that requires daily upkeep?
We know for a fact he never cleans his office. Rarely opens the window and lets dust collect. Can't even efficiently clean it either with all the junk he has lying around and the way he has it all set up. Goodluck getting a vacuum to comb through it all without having to micromanage all the equipment like controllers, cords etc. to not get sucked up in the process.
 
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Pubic Enemy #1

Oi m8 wot if ur mam was an email
kiwifarms.net
The thing is he genuinely thinks that's hard work. That because he's miserable and stressed all the time, he must be busting his ass. No, it's because you have no friends, no family who you see, you never leave the house, and you have the physique of instant mashed potatoes. It probably is hard work for him actually, but only because the only way he could be in worse physical and mental condition is if he was dead.
 

Sparkletor 2.0

My first Jonbenet accidentally died
kiwifarms.net
Remember when Phil went to Connecticut for a week and got married? When he got back he said he was busy cleaning the house and had a lot of garbage because nobody had done it for a week. Phil 100% exaggerates his cleaning tasks. He complained about having to rush rush rush to cook dinner and wash the dishes back when he was eating microwavable Hungry Man meals.

We can see from past vlogs that Phil has a specific idea of what is "clean" and what is "messy". Leanna left half a bottle of Snapple on the dining room table? Messy. A pile of boxes and packing foam in the garage? Perfectly acceptable. Leanna got strawberry seeds or some weird shit in the bathtub? Disgusting. Storing broken chairs and empty boxes in the nook? Just fine. The rats nest of wires covering the floor of the office is not a problem. Leanna's soap making supplies on the table in the garage? Unacceptable.
 

This comment matters

kiwifarms.net
Remember when Phil went to Connecticut for a week and got married? When he got back he said he was busy cleaning the house and had a lot of garbage because nobody had done it for a week. Phil 100% exaggerates his cleaning tasks. He complained about having to rush rush rush to cook dinner and wash the dishes back when he was eating microwavable Hungry Man meals.

We can see from past vlogs that Phil has a specific idea of what is "clean" and what is "messy". Leanna left half a bottle of Snapple on the dining room table? Messy. A pile of boxes and packing foam in the garage? Perfectly acceptable. Leanna got strawberry seeds or some weird shit in the bathtub? Disgusting. Storing broken chairs and empty boxes in the nook? Just fine. The rats nest of wires covering the floor of the office is not a problem. Leanna's soap making supplies on the table in the garage? Unacceptable.
It's a lot easier to break down than that. Did Phil's dumb ass make the mess? It's fine. Did someone else make the mess? HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, UNACCEPTABLE!!
 

Sparkletor 2.0

My first Jonbenet accidentally died
kiwifarms.net
You know he sleeps in until 2 on his off days. No way he gets up early. Cause when he was talking about being financially free he mentioned sleeping in a lot and how he hates getting up early for the streams.
Here's a crazy idea. If he hates getting up at the crack of noon to stream, change the stream schedule and stream later. I know, I know, nobody watches streams late at night. It's not like Nick Rekieta starts at the same time Phil stops streaming and goes for two or three hours or more and gets 9000 viewers. Nobody is awake that late.
 

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
kiwifarms.net
Here's a crazy idea. If he hates getting up at the crack of noon to stream, change the stream schedule and stream later. I know, I know, nobody watches streams late at night. It's not like Nick Rekieta starts at the same time Phil stops streaming and goes for two or three hours or more and gets 9000 viewers. Nobody is awake that late.
He needs that GMT+0 EU viewer interaction, real tawk
 

Ol' Slag

We can't stop here, this is bat country!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He probably watches Tevin from time to time.

For a person with a "strong" internet presence, he sure is sedentary. Doesn't leave his gated community, let alone his house the majority of his life. Little human interaction and even has a slave to buy groceries and such. He is the definition of a hermit.
I think Phil has interaction but it is incredibly segmented and routine.

Probably goes to the exact same liquor store every time and the cashier's might even know him by name since Gin isn't exactly a common drink to consistently drown your sorrows.

Shops at the same super market at the same time of day seeing the same employees.

Goes to the same restaurants every week.

Goes to the same GameStop. Probably aware of his infamy.

Phil hates change. A deviation in his schedule is an utter catastrophe for him.
 

Schmeckel

Praise 'til you're hollow
kiwifarms.net
Goes to the same GameStop. Probably aware of his infamy.
Cahmahn, dood. You know I can't go to GAMESTOP to get games. With the advent of digitaldishtribushun, I can get my games right at midnight when they release and play them for shtreems! Cause before, I'd have to go to the store, wait in line, have my back hurt, then get the game, and then drive all the way home, and then struggle with the shrinkwrap, put the game in, and THEN THE GAME HAS TO INSTALL! And so by the time I'm able to shtreem the game, all the other entitled youtubers and twitchshtreemers have already gotten the day one inflated views!

Phil avoids pretty much any human contact whatsoever. I bet even the weekly (yeah, right) calls to his mom are incredibly awkward, full of "um" and "uh" and lip-smacks and snorts, and he probably squeezes in a "cheerssubsandtips" at the end before hanging up. There was the one video where Phil and Leanna went to some hotdog place (I think it was a hotdog place), and she's videoing him sulk around while getting the food from the counter. His body language is totally that of someone guarded and just doesn't want to be spoken to unless absolutely necessary. When they go out, Kat probably does all the talking and "interacting" with cashiers and stuff.
 
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