Dumb game ideas to get the noggin joggin - OC Do Not Steel!!!1

Pinot Pierrot

The naive one, forever waiting.
kiwifarms.net
A hybrid between Sekiro's posture/parry system, Furi, and DMC's grading criteria. Mostly inspired by this dude's twitter:


Rather than having a layout to explore or filled with intermittent battles, the game will instead be all boss fights. Furthermore, bosses are given timers instead of a standard health bar - if the timer runs out and you have not defeated the enemy, you lose. The goal of the game is to be as creative as possible in your fight, racking up as many "style points" within the time frame before cashing it in via killing blow. Like in Sekiro, bosses require multiple killing blows before they are defeated for good. Each killing blow will therefore set up a new timer in which you adapt to the boss' new attack patterns. Like in DMC, a letter grade that updates in real-time will note how stylish you are, and is just as capable of shrinking if you aren't constantly on the move. Getting hit will similarly deduct from your score in addition to taking damage.

In order to initiate a killing blow in the first place, you must max out the boss' posture meter first. Parrying will steadily increase posture, while letting it idle will cause it to decrease. Attacks only increase posture by a fraction of parrying, but can be used to interrupt the opponent's recovery rate. Only when it is maxed out can you initiate a button input that triggers the killing blow, and the next boss phase if applicable. Theoretically, this means you can end boss battles very quickly, but the game will give you a shit grade for being such a poor sport. Instead, you are encouraged to maintain the enemy's posture meter at a high level so you can initiate the killing blow at will, but not do so until you have amassed as much points as possible within the given time frame.

To improve your grade for each boss stage, you are encouraged to engage them in creative ways. Varying up your moves will give bonus points, while constantly using what works will slow your point accumulation to a crawl. In other words, play with your food with as many utensils as you bring to the table. Something to note is that parrying is considered a good source of style points, isn't subject to diminishing returns, and is less likely to have your ass knocked to the ground. Attacking on the other hand is potentially more profitable, if risky. So in other words, parry often if you want a good score, shake things up if you want a fantastic score.

In an ideal scenario, within each time frame you style on your opponent with a variety of attacks with parrying in-between, eventually maxing out your opponent's posture meter. From there, you use the time remaining to raise as much of your style score as possible, as what you've been doing should be enough to prevent the boss' posture from recovering, only initiating the killing blow at the very last second to cash your points in.
 

Syaoran Li

Beware The Walkin' Dude
kiwifarms.net
Honestly, I've been looking back on the brief "retro emulation console" trend that began with the NES Classic and was killed by the Playstation Classic, but I still think there's potential in the idea if you do it right. The PS1 Classic was a good concept but was botched (especially the North American release) and I would've loved to see a good PS1 Classic or even a PS2 Classic since the early 2000's are now "retro" and ripe for nostalgic cash-ins.

Like, if I was in charge of a do-over of the Playstation Classic, I'd have 25 titles instead of 20 and these would be my ideal picks. Yes, I know some of these titles were on the actual Playstation Classic.

1. Final Fantasy VII
2. Metal Gear Solid
3. Resident Evil: Director's Cut
4. Syphon Filter
5. Twisted Metal 2
6. Crash Bandicoot: Warped
7. Spyro: Year of the Dragon
8. Tomb Raider II
9. Tekken 3
10. Doom
11. Spider-Man
12. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
13. Parasite Eve
14. Dino Crisis
15. Mortal Kombat Trilogy
16. Alien Trilogy
17. Digimon World
18. Army Men: Sarge's Heroes
19. WWF: Attitude
20. Gran Turismo
21. Crash Team Racing
22. MedEvil
23. Fighting Force
24. Silent Hill
25. Medal of Honor

And these would be my 25 picks for a hypothetical Playstation 2 Classic, I included both the big hits remembered today like Grand Theft Auto, Kingdom Hearts, and RE4 along with cult classics like Simpsons: Hit & Run and BloodRayne, and even games that were sort of popular at the time, but were quickly forgotten like GUN and Rumble Roses.

1. Grand Theft Auto III
2. Final Fantasy X
3. Devil May Cry
4. Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
5. Dead or Alive 2: Hardcore
6. Resident Evil 4
7. Kingdom Hearts
8. Rumble Roses
9. Naruto: Ultimate Ninja
10. Mortal Kombat: Armageddon
11. Silent Hill 2
12. GUN
13. Dynasty Warriors 4
14. Fullmetal Alchemist 2: Curse of the Crimson Elixir
15. The Simpsons: Hit & Run
16. BloodRayne
17. Oni
18. Gran Turismo 3
19. God of War
20. Jak & Daxter
21. Ratchet & Clank
22. Destroy All Humans!
23. Marvel vs. Capcom 2
24. Max Payne
25. Onimusha: Warlords
 
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Save the Loli

kiwifarms.net
A text adventure game about the life of a troon. You play as a recently hatched "egg" troon who has just graduated college. You select their location (Coastal Utopia, California, or Wasteland Ghoul hell), traits (a difficulty meter since it affects how much your troon get misgendered or invalidated), and race (as a black troon you are more likely to be murdered but dominate the oppression Olympics).

Your troon has certain meters like the "dysphoria" meter and "depression" meter you need to keep low (or else you join the 41%), the "validation" meter, the "hygiene" meter, and the "necessities" meter (food, water, etc.) you need to keep filled. The goal of the game is to acquire as much points as possible after 10 years of game time. You play day by day and need to make money (for your necessities, hygiene, and dysphoria, since you need that estrogen and surgeries!) so you can get a job (high risk of being misgendered and hurts your validation) or you can e-beg. To e-beg you need to play the "Twit" minigame where you need to make as many clout-chasing posts and hot takes as possible to boost your follower count so people will donate to your Paymetons. But watch out for TERFs, Goobergropers, and Nazi incels harassing you! Or speaking over Indohnaysia and other troons of color as a privileged white troon!

You can browse other websites like Readdit or ResetAge where you can talk with your fellow troons. Dischord servers are also good places to meet your fellow troons. The higher your status there the more money you can e-beg and you can even be a mod! You can also help hatch new troon eggs by spreading news about the wonders of HRT to depressed teenagers. But watch out, the higher your status and profile on the internet, the more likely you will get a thread on the dreaded Aussie Farms, an alt-right Nazi incel website whose members literally kill troons. You can try and fight Aussie Farms by posting in your thread there but this is likely hopeless and your depression and validation meter will crater. Worse, they might discover your deadname and publicize it!

Real-world events happen too. Your depression meter and validation meter will take a huge hit when you read about the latest victory from President Ronald Dumpf or how your preferred candidate Barnie Sanded keeps losing or international news like success from Prime Minister Joris Bonson and the BRouters so you need to play the Twit minigame to help your mood. The REEEEEEEEEEEEE option improves your mood and helps validate you but even this is hopeless. You will need lots of money.

Dating is included in this game. You can hook up with your troon friends to boost all of your meters. You get extra points for sleeping with cis lesbians, but beware, they might not believe you are really a woman and reduce all your meters!

An importance of money is using it to move to a Coastal Utopia or especially California (a paradise). This opens up your employment opportunities so you can be a troon coder at a major company and reduces your dysphoria since fewer people will misgender you. You can create indie games and walking simulators or simply do speedruns of games and receive acclaim from video games journalism, increasing your score.

When you have enough money you can pay doctors chop off your girldick and ladyballs and get a stinkditch installed improving all of your meters immensely. This is cheaper if you live in California or a Coastal Utopia. But be careful not to get it infected!

Politics are included in this game. You can run for office and through e-clout get endorsements from famous troons like Goobergroper victim Jane Walker Wu. If you win election you receive a massive amount of points. Election campaigns allow for unprecedented amounts of grift on your part.

At times your best efforts may fail and you fall seriously depressed. At this time you can call QueerLifeLine, a suicide hotline, and someone will answer the phone and save you from your impending suicide. However, they might not answer the phone in which case you will attempt suicide which comes with a 41% chance of success. Surviving this suicide comes with an extra boost of e-clout. QueerLifeLine are good to befriend since they offer free housing in their camp "El Zorro" located in the desert. If you relocate there, watch out for meth heads, the desert heat, and giant spiders!
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

no corona
kiwifarms.net
What if instead of being the person that shot someone you were the bullet that decided it would hit?

Now bullet spread is your domain and you are the god of CS and many other games.
 

GnomeofDoc

What? I like weird old guns.
kiwifarms.net
VR game where you have to explain to your mom how much of a disappointment you are. Yes you can kill her to assert dominance.
 

SomeCybranCommander

kiwifarms.net
A Supreme Commander styled WW2 RTS game where you manage your armies across the continents of Earth. You play as either the Nazis, the Soviet Union, the Allies, and the Japanese.
 
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Gar For Archer

kiwifarms.net
A puzzle platformer where the player character has funky, physics-based movement (a la QWOP) but instead of directly controlling the character you “program” a movement sequence. Sequences can be saved as functions and re-used in future levels, and you’ll be scored on the efficiency of your solution (ranking completion speed and “program size”).
 

Gar For Archer

kiwifarms.net
7 Billion Humans did something kinda like that.
Oh yeah that’s a common thing in open-solution puzzle type games. I’m familiar with it from Infinifactory, where it puts your solution on a bell curve of every other player. I think it’s a pretty good way of naturally assessing how good your solution is without relying on an arbitrary point/score system.
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

no corona
kiwifarms.net
If you could turn sections of track into oil slick or ice for rollercoaster tycoon-esque shenanigans I'd buy it.
That's not a bad idea, you might get offered big money to rig a race and make sure a certain car wins. A sentient race track doesn't have the same morals as a human so of course you take the money... and maybe hurt the guy in the blue car so he can't compete for a while, he's a dick and is always doing burnouts at the starting line.
 

Save the Loli

kiwifarms.net
That's not a bad idea, you might get offered big money to rig a race and make sure a certain car wins. A sentient race track doesn't have the same morals as a human so of course you take the money... and maybe hurt the guy in the blue car so he can't compete for a while, he's a dick and is always doing burnouts at the starting line.
But if you take the money there's a chance "you" (the people who paid "you" the money) get caught and they don't hold the race on that track again (because it's associated with match fixing) or if you fail to fix the race (the car still loses) you don't get opportunities like that again, etc.
 
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Smaug's Smokey Hole

no corona
kiwifarms.net
But if you take the money there's a chance "you" (the people who paid "you" the money) get caught and they don't hold the race on that track again (because it's associated with match fixing) or if you fail to fix the race (the car still loses) you don't get opportunities like that again, etc.
Ok... maybe remove the people and deities ask you to rig it to prove something and several of them can put in requests for the same race so you have to figure how and what requests you can meet. Vishnu wants the blue car to wipe out because of karma, fine, at the same time god asks you to make sure the red car wins for no mysterious reasons, that can be probably be done, Zoroaster wants to see some fire and that could overlap with Vishnu's request - sucks to be driving the blue car that day - and so on.

As a player you take on as many requests as you think you can pull off, there will always be one or two big mandatory ones(let's say whatever god has in mind that week) then you take on as much as you can from lesser gods, depending on what they can offer in return and depending on how you think you can integrate it into your existing workload. Then the day of the race arrives and you try to execute on that.
 
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