Dumb things you did as a kid. - From bodily harm to embarrassment or anything that stood out as exceptional

MrTickles

Cultured gentleman but fucks like Bunny.
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I halfheartedly (didn't know it was the master book) sabotaged a school yearbook by drawing dicks in everybody's hands before they took it to the printers. Queue 1600 copies of students standing arranged by year holding crudely drawn dicks.

To this day nobody knows I was the one responsible for the mass dickening.
 
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nekrataal

y’all got laptops?
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When I was 7 I stumbled upon my uncle’s meth lab he was trying to hide from his wife while at my cousin’s birthday party. I asked him in front of everybody if he was a scientist and he freaked out and made everyone go home. His wife turned him in later on that week.
 
E

ES 195

Guest
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When I was below 10 I used to eat watch batteries to absorb their power.
I convinced a friend to help me steal some stuff when everyone was out on a field trip but us. We got caught pretty fast.
I also used to convince my younger brother to open a Christmas present early so I would get one too. I did this for a couple years until my mom started to just rewrap them.
 

skellig58

Showdown at the retard corral!
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I just remembered a more light hearted one from being very young. I hated Count Chocula cereal as a kid and for whatever short span of time it was, my solution to not eating it but getting rid of it was to pour the bowl out behind the TV in the corner of the living room. At the very least it was dry cereal so there wasn't any damage, but I got caught after the third or so time that I did it.

There was a cereal called, I think "dinky donuts" I hated that shit. So to get rid of it I in my 3-4 year old wisdom, I dumped it down the dining room register. No one noticed until the air kicked on in the summer and a cloud of desiccated dinky donuts flew up to haunt the room. Busted.

Edited: Not to double post.

I also hated socks. I mean HATED them. My mom and I would fight every morning from first to third grade about getting the damn things on my rebel hillbilly feet. She'd always win because "Secret Mom Powers". But after school, I would retaliate by pulling the damn socks off and throwing the fuckers behind the couch. Mom got pissed and threatened just to paint socks on me. I thought that sounded just fine. So There. It was kinda a stalemate and that phase ended as soon as it began. Kids are weird

Oh God, I have more... When I was really tiny, I had a favorite blankie. Actually, it was an old faded to hell flannel nightgown that used to belong to mom. Its name was Snuggie, And I loved that fucking thing. I did something or was just being a defiant little bitch, and as punishment, mom grabbed Snug and ripped it in half. Being the smart ass little shit I was I just said, "oh now I have TWINS". I think my logic defeated mom's anger, and I got my twin Snuggies back. I still have Snug incorporated in a quilt I made of childhood blankets and clothing. But no damn socks.
 
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P

PT 940

Guest
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I asked my mom if there were "retarded Indians" (Native Americans) because I legitimately wanted to know but she just got mad, threatened to ground me and never answered my question. It took a really long time way after the fact to convince her that it was a real question.
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

So tasteful, it's spooky. 🥝🥧🐈
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When I was around six years old I liked to pretend I was Spider-man by playing around on the stairs, as expected my luck caught up with me and I fell down the stairs, I reached for the handrail to stop myself from falling further and ended up breaking my arm.
Around the same age, I liked throwing a miniature, palm-sized football around and pretending I was involved in whatever the big NFL match-up was from the previous Sunday. Normally, I'd do that in the basement, but I got chided for sliding too much and putting holes in my jeans. One day, my young self got the (not so) bright idea of doing this on the steps between the first and second floor. It wasn't long before a pass to myself led me to lose my footing, slide halfway down the stairs, and sprain an ankle. My pretend football career ended that day. :biggrin:

Tl;dr: We almost got our friend killed after knocking him out while wrestling and hiding him in a dumpster on trash day, and I still haven't forgiven myself for it.
That's some pretty scary stuff, reminiscent of a scene from one of the Law and Order franchises. Thank goodness things didn't end as horribly as they could have in your situation.

When I was little I would run down this giant hill behind the house with one of those classic little red wagons, but one day I got the idea to ride in it while using the handle as a makeshift steering wheel. After doing it a couple times I found myself careening towards the woods and couldn't stop, so I leaped off the wagon and landed flat on my back, and for the first and only time in my life I had all the wind knocked out of me.

My next door neighbors had one of those red wagons with the removable wooden slats that normally served as walls. one end of our block had a gradual-enough slope to it that we and other neighbor kids would give each other rides/pushes while the person inside steered with the handle until the wagon either stopped or veered off the sidewalk into the grass.

Of course that's not as dumb as my neighbor using the handle of the name wagon as a pile-driver to tear up part of his yard's lawn.

When we were about 14 and 11, our city did a total replacement of the gas lines, replacing the old metal piping that was in bad shape with plastic tubing that would supposedly last indefinitely. While the gas company had space dug out in front of his house, my neighbor convinced me to help him bury one of his younger brother's toys the former didn't like. given how slowly plastic degrades, I'd imagine it's still buried there just waiting to be found should the city or anyone else need to dig there in the future.
 

AmokSweptMeFromMyFeet

Ich Bin Gott
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Forced myself into not talking anymore, even limitating my non-verbal movements, because i was too afraid of commitng sins/blasphemies and not noticing it, lol. Going to Hell terrifyed me way too much back then, thanks to my parents' inculcations and choleric reprehension.

Now i hate religion and have ever-lasting after-effects on my social-emotional behavior, kek.
 
P

PL 001

Guest
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I was around five, and my parents were watching a movie that I guess used the word 'nigger' in one scene. I had no idea what it meant, but it sounded like a funny word to me...funny enough that I was trying to get our pet cat to come over and be petted, and said "c'mere you nigger" when it wouldn't. My parents didn't find it as funny as I did.

No, the cat wasn't black before someone asks.
 

オウム

Aum
kiwifarms.net
Forced myself into not talking anymore, even limitating my non-verbal movements, because i was too afraid of commitng sins/blasphemies and not noticing it, lol. Going to Hell terrifyed me way too much back then, thanks to my parents' inculcations and choleric reprehension.

Now i hate religion and have ever-lasting after-effects on my social-emotional behavior, kek.
Lol that just reminded me of going into Spencer's Gifts for the first time as a kid and looking at their "goth" section with all the demon skulls, blood, black etc and thinking some of it looked cool. Then I felt bad because that must mean I'm a satanist. Not sure where I got that from we weren't devote Baptist or Catholic or any other denomination with all the cool blood and damnation stuff we'd just go to Christmas service at a Presbyterian church.
 

ProfDongs

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I was around five, and my parents were watching a movie that I guess used the word 'nigger' in one scene. I had no idea what it meant, but it sounded like a funny word to me...funny enough that I was trying to get our pet cat to come over and be petted, and said "c'mere you nigger" when it wouldn't. My parents didn't find it as funny as I did.

No, the cat wasn't black before someone asks.
Oh christ, that reminds me of something around the 3rd or 4th grade. I hadn't heard someone say "Nigger" before and an older kid was going around telling a bunch of kids what it sort of meant during recess. Then we started to play grounders on the playground and I very loudly kept calling the guy who was It a nigger. I must have said it 20-30 times in the span of a few minutes. I get told on by him, and somehow the teacher never ends up calling my parents about it. Fortunately(?) my school was basically an ethnostate though so nobody whose opinions would have mattered heard it.
 

Niggernerd

Hol up *siiiiiiiiip* nigga
True & Honest Fan
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I also hated socks. I mean HATED them. My mom and I would fight every morning from first to third grade about getting the damn things on my rebel hillbilly feet. She'd always win because "Secret Mom Powers".
God if this wasn't me.
I used to hate wearing sockys because each corners inside at the end had like a ball or whatever (made of the sewing string and extra socky fabric) and just made me feel claustrophobic for some reason, I had the bright idea to cut every corner of all my socks not realizing it undid all my socks and gave my toes too much wiggle room. I was fine with it, mom not so much.

I remember when us boys in elementary used to go on the swings, swing to a really high height and just fly off for the fun of it and land on our asses or back. My backs in shit shape now that I'm older. (I'd like to go back In time and beat past self)

Thanksgiving 2nd grade lunch, I had the bright idea to pee snipe the bathroom mirror while another kid was washing his hands. Principal made me clean up the area with a toothbrush.

Last day of 3rd grade, half the girls in my class really liked me (it was the nice elementary in that town so those girls ended up being the high school cheerleaders) and one of them was going to ask me out while I was eating snacc and playing beyblade with the boys.
So when she called out to me I ended up just burping in her face and all the bros were cheering in victory for no exceptional reason.
Another tried but because I genuinely liked her I just avoided making eye contact with her and kept my mouth farts to myself.

Middle school I took an AK47 round to school with me because I thought it looked cool and wanted to show my best friend at the time then some faggot told the principal on me and they thought I had a gun. They called me to show them my backpack just took away the round from me and I picked on that kid until he had to move out of town.

Edit: funny enough boy in my thanksgiving story is the faggot who told on me in the AK round story.
 
J

JM 590

Guest
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Lol that just reminded me of going into Spencer's Gifts for the first time as a kid and looking at their "goth" section with all the demon skulls, blood, black etc and thinking some of it looked cool. Then I felt bad because that must mean I'm a satanist. Not sure where I got that from we weren't devote Baptist or Catholic or any other denomination with all the cool blood and damnation stuff we'd just go to Christmas service at a Presbyterian church.
I almost bought one of those goth medallions with a red jewel in the middle from there when I was a teenager

Thankfully I didn't
 
P

PL 001

Guest
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Being a stupid kid using the family computer late at night to browse porn and not knowing to delete my search history after.

Thought my mom found out all the things I'd been looking up, but she also thought installing Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 would give the computer a virus so I was safe.
 

MalWart

Lawn Mower Parts Salesman
kiwifarms.net
Being a stupid kid using the family computer late at night to browse porn and not knowing to delete my search history after.

Thought my mom found out all the things I'd been looking up, but she also thought installing Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 would give the computer a virus so I was safe.
Your mother sounds like the more naive person here, tbh.
 
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werbwub

kiwifarms.net
I have a couple of good ones.

- I brought those popper fireworks, the ones that you throw, and started to give them out to other people to throw at teachers. Me and 5+ kids got suspended.

- I stole a flash drive from from the "asshole teacher".Next time I had class the guy came in and started interrogating students. I was never caught

- Almost go in a fight with a big black dude due to the events of the first story.

- Emailed all the teachers job applications for hooters.

- Made a Nutella and Chromebook sandwich with one of the schools Chromebooks.

- Showed kid porn on the Chromebooks using Wikipedia.
 

Molester Stallone

Trust me, I'm a doctor.
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We had a small creek in my neighborhood that had an almost vertical bank on one side. It was probably 30-40 feet above the creek that was at most a foot deep. We used to swing on vines out over this creek and back. No one ever fell, but if they had they probably would have died. Some guy saw what we were doing and told our parents. Next time we went back the vines were trimmed up so high we couldn't reach them anymore.

One of my friends tossed a quarter-stick into a pile of cinder blocks. We all learned a lesson about shrapnel that day.

Another kid used to make pipe bombs and exploding arrows. He got arrested after making a bomb threat and we stopped hanging out with him when he became a junkie.
 

0 1

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True & Honest Fan
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My friends and I always showed "affection" by casually insulting one another. Once, the person in charge of watching us (who was about 14-16 at the time) asked us to help her with something. When my brain was still in "goofing around with friends" mode, I told her, "sure thing, crater-face" since she had bad acne. The moment the words left my mouth, I immediately realized what I said and she looked visibly hurt. I was expecting to be punished, but she was so dejected that she just didn't even say anything. I think I either brought her store-bought cookies or drew her a card the next day to apologize, and she was so moved that she started to cry. Of course, being a child, I didn't quite understand yet that people can cry for reasons other than being sad, so I just kept apologizing. I don't know why, but it's one of those things where even though I corrected my mistake, I still severely regret making it. We were on good terms after that, though, but her reaction still bothers me to this day. Kids are cruel.

Other than that, I had a friend who was blind that I would escort from class to class since we shared mostly the same schedule. I wasn't paying attention and accidentally made him walk into a metal support beam. It definitely hurt--and a lot, since there obviously was no feasible way for him to even prepare for the impact. He knew it was an accident, but everyone else thought I did it on purpose, it was my friend himself who convinced them otherwise. Still, I couldn't believe how careless I was. I was certain to make sure it never happened again.

Personally, the one thing I still can't understand to this day was when I was very young, I had an irrational fear of toilets flooding the house or building.
 

Sofonda Cox

Tired.
True & Honest Fan
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Was briefly living with my grandma at 12. She worked weird hours and was basically never home. No rules, no supervision. I ran amok every night, long after all the other kids were called home. I'm prone to "incredible thoughts", and one weekend, it occurred to me that it would be devastatingly funny to remove every house number from every house on our street "to fuck with the mailman". I did not know the mailman, had never seen him/her, there was no vendetta, no rationale.

I knew it would be a fuckin herculean task requiring tools and equipment, so I made an itemized list of everything I'd need - both types of screwdrivers, contractor bags, scrapers (butter knives and shit), a place to stash the loot. Next night, at the STROKE of midnight cause I'm a goffick champion, the work begins.

It was SO much harder than I thought it would be. There were SPIDERS on so much of it, screws rusted into place, cumbersome wood plaques, metal signs, every kind of decorative thing, house numbers carved into big goddamn rocks. Occasionally, I'd think of how perplexed the mailman was gonna be and literally fall to the ground in hysterics, stuffing my shirt in my mouth to keep from howling with laughter.

It took fuckin HOURS, and three contractor bags full of house numbers lugged home to the asshole of my closet. I pretended to be The Grinch, stealing Christmas and again was destroyed by the hilarity and greatness of this idea. By 5am, I had done it, and was completely fuckin exhausted. Pretty much forgot all about it within a week. One day my grandmother was bringing laundry into my closet, saw the bags, looked inside, looked at me, closed it back up and left. Never asked, I never told. In fact, I've never told anyone until just now.

I was the terror of a little town in New York 20 years ago, and I'm not the least bit sorry.

Enjoy your day.
 
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