Dumb things you did as a kid. - From bodily harm to embarrassment or anything that stood out as exceptional

Fliddaroonie

I'm a spooky ghost! Whooooo!!! Ectoplasm!!!!
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Forced myself into not talking anymore, even limitating my non-verbal movements, because i was too afraid of commitng sins/blasphemies and not noticing it, lol. Going to Hell terrifyed me way too much back then, thanks to my parents' inculcations and choleric reprehension.

Now i hate religion and have ever-lasting after-effects on my social-emotional behavior, kek.
Religion is like ass sex and brussel's sprouts: Force them on a kid and they're gonna despise them as an adult
 

Xarpho

Ugly and weak
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I remembered another one. I remember that the newspapers carried Spider-Man (not the same thing as the real Marvel comics, it turned out) and it mentioned that the spider bite had turned him into Spider-Man, and I thought that he wasn't wearing a costume because the bite had physically mutated him.
 

Pitere pit

Has man gone insane?
kiwifarms.net
Drinking soap when I was a toddler. I remember that day, the TV in the living room was showing that episode of Arthur when Brain was singing in a library or something like that, my parents calling the toxicologist and then forcing me to drink what I think was olive oil. It's been years but I still can taste that soap.
Another one is talking about how our exking was based because he told Hugo Chavez to shut the fuck up, this was said when I was in a family dinner with my grandparents.
I was afraid of dogs so everytime I saw one I tried to cross over sidewalks.
 

Molester Stallone

Trust me, I'm a doctor.
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When I was in 8th grade chemistry class we were learning about hydrogen. I remember we were doing an experiment making it ourselves with our lab partners. Basically we were supposed to fill an upside down test tube with the stuff and light it using a Bunsen burner. The gas would ignite and make a loud whistling sound. I got the bright idea to use a larger Pyrex measuring cup so I could catch more of it because what's the worst that could happen? I turned the measuring cup upside down on the lab table with the edge of the glass hanging off the table so I could light the gas. That sumbitch took off like a rocket and went through the drop ceiling. It was so freaking loud the kid in front of me fell off his stool and got a bloody nose. I had to explain to the principal what I had done and he just kind of chuckled and told me to stop destroying his school. My science teacher watched me like a fucking hawk after that.
 

horrorfan89

Resident Master of the dark and all things macabre
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I once tried to make hot chocolate as a kid and by that I mean I put milk and chocolate syrup in a glass then put the glass on the stove top on high. It's a good thing I was in the other room when the heat made the glass explode and send shards flying everywhere
 

FuckedUp

Professional Glowposter
True & Honest Fan
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Back when I was in fifth grade, my friends and I were really into WWE. Everyday before school started, and during recess we'd wrestle each other in a little area that was tucked behind the school that was just barely part of the playground. Point is, it was out of sight of the teachers. We'd be swinging each other around, roughhousing, and shit like that, and since were kids and didn't know any better, we naturally decided to copy what we saw on TV and began trying to do actual wrestling moves.

And for the most part, it went fine. We never went full on with it. We were always careful not to actually hurt each other that much. Looking back on it, it wasn't because we were actually concerned about safety. It was more so that we knew we'd get our asses busted if we got caught wrestling and even more so if one us of us had gotten injured because of it.

So the days went by, and we went on full nelsoning, chokeslamming, clotheslining each other, having a great time. Till one day, one of the teachers caught us, and busted our asses for about ten minutes as to how dangerous what we were doing was. She was right of course, and miraculously she did not call our parents, but did threaten to do so if she ever caught us doing it again.

Did we listen?

FUCK NO.

We were kids! We thought we were invincible! We thought we were so much smarter than everyone else, and that since we were so careful that nothing could go wrong.

So literally the next day, we gathered behind the school again before class started and began wrestling again; taking extra care to keep an eye out for teachers.

At this point, I got to introduce you to two of my friends. The first one, I'll just call him John, was huge. Like an absolute unit of a boy. I mean, he was literally six feet tall. And lemme tell you, he was fucking strong. This kid had no trouble throwing any of us over his shoulder and carrying us around like we were a sack of potatoes. He was really nice, though. A total gentle giant, and he always made sure to be extra to careful not to hurt us.

Now the polar opposite of John was this kid who was ironically his best friend. I'm just gonna call Tom. Tom was, and still is, a fucking manlet. He was only about a four-and-half-feet tall back then, and has not grown much since. Like most manlets, he was, and again still is, aggressive af, and always trying to prove himself to be tougher than he actually is.

I'm explaining this, because I'm pretty sure if their height differences weren't so drastic, things wouldn't have turned out so bad.

So we were all having a good time, and Tom suddenly tells John that he wants him to piledrive him. They had done this a bunch of times before, and it was basically just John holding him upside down before gently lowering him onto the ground. It was nothing to worry about.

But that day, I'm still not sure how, John lost his grip, and Tom fell, and cracked the back of his head on the asphalt. And he didn't get up. He was out cold.

We fucking lost it. We were panicking like crazy, trying desperately to wake him up. John was crying, and all of us were frantically checking to make no teacher is coming. And no, we didn't go get a teacher, because we didn't want to get in trouble. It was five minutes before class started, and Tom still hadn't woken up. We were shaking him, smacking his face, I dumped part of my water bottle on him, nothing was working.

At this point, we all decided that we had to hide him, and just act like he never came to school. There was a dumpster behind the school in our little fighting area, and John, in tears, picked Tom up, carried him over to it, and with the help of the rest of us, dropped him into the dumpster.

We were just about to close the lid when Tom's eyes flew open, scaring the shit out of all of us, and asked us what happened and what was going on. We quickly pulled him out of the dumpster, just in time for bell to ring for class to start. We rushed over, trying to act like nothing was wrong. Tom went to nurse after complaining about a really bad headache, and while we were all really shaken up about what happened, we were immensely relieved that it hadn't been worse.

Because it could've, and it would've. For you see, not even an hour later, the teacher decided to have us do our morning work outside because the weather was so nice. My friends, and I didn't go behind the school again, but instead on a little grassy knoll parallel to the area.

So we're doing our worksheets, Tom holding a frozen sponge to the back of his head, when we see a garbage truck pull up behind the school. Turns out it was trash day, and instead of actual garbage men coming out to come collect the trash, the garbage truck was one of those kinds that could do the work mechanically without seemingly any human aid, or oversight.

And all of us watched in absolute horror as the same dumpster that we had hidden Tom in was picked up, turned upside down, had all of its contents dumped out and slowly crushed and compacted without a single person bothering to check what was in it before driving off.

It was during those incredibly painful, and chilling moments that we realized that we had almost gotten Tom killed.

We never wrestled again.
Tl;dr: We almost got our friend killed after knocking him out while wrestling and hiding him in a dumpster on trash day, and I still haven't forgiven myself for it.

*Edited for better clarification.
lmao, reminds me of the kid who died when playing Naruto.
 

Coffee Druid

Your cordial caffeinated chevalier
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Me and my sibling had a game called sumo when we were like 6. You would pile all the pillows and stuffed animals onto a bed and jump onto that pile like you’re in a WWE match. We ended up breaking several boards on that bed one day and got in big trouble with our parents.

I didn’t clean my room much has a kid. One day I was too lazy to move something aside on the floor so I tripped and slammed face first into a dresser. Got a cool scar where my front teeth went through my lower lip.

Lastly I remember making “stuffed animals” when I was 7 by cutting out front/back shapes from paper towels, drawing features on in marker, stuffing tissues between them, and stapling the two sides together. I had plenty of actual stuffed animals but i thought I was an artiste at the time.
 

Longcat

Antisocial Injustice Wizard
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Got so hyped up on sugar I thought it was a good idea to leap off a wall pretending to be a ninja. Face planted and got sent home with a nasty black eye, had to explain to my dad that no, nobody hit me, I was just messing around and lost my footing.

Also I broke my best friend’s music box when we were 6 as it had a couple dancing together and I believed in “boy germs” (what we Aussies call cooties). My mother was livid and made me buy her a new one.
 
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The Lawgiver

We all know what happens to alien spies.
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I somehow shoved a laser pointer in my eye at some point,. As in, I stared into it with it on for quite a while voluntarily. I can't remember the details of what led to it, but point though is I somehow didn't damage my eyes via doing this. It wasn't even just one time either! I don't think I'd get as lucky if I did it again in current year. My lucks been shitty for years now but thats unrelated.
 
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Gravityqueen4life

spooky-time
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me and some friends were gonna have a water battle and decided to make some water balloons. i made the biggest but the balloon was so heavy, i dropped it on the floor of my friends apartment and it was beside a electric contact. it stopped working after that.
 
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LemonKingLover

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I used to lick the wooden stair banisters and eat paper until I was about 8. Also pulled a cat halfway up a door using a piece of rope because it seemed fun. I also did not understand jokes for a while, so they would be long rambling stories instead, with me laughing like a lunatic.
 

Teiluna

totalny relaks utopia
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  1. we had a trampoline when i was younger, i think about 4 or 5. i was playing on it with my 2 older brothers (one is about 15 years older than me) and we used to do this thing we later called ground pounding (like mario), because it would make the lighter people fly up really high. one time we did this, i ended up directly underneath my eldest brother and he slammed directly into my back. i'm surprised i didn't break anything, but i couldn't breathe properly for a good hour or so.
  2. another trampoline story is that i used to let the younger brother (4 years older, the older one is my half brother which explains the massive gap) swing me around with his friends. one would hold onto my ankles and the other my wrists, i'd let them swing me from side to side and throw me into the net. one time this resulted in my hitting my head on the metal poles.
  3. on several occasions, i fell down the stairs. somehow i never broke anything
  4. tried to do something akin to this video, but with no safety gear:
somehow, i also didn't break anything
 
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Miel67

PFurrie and MAP hater
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Ate a flower petal, after watching a woman eat it in a Juan Luis Guerra (Dominican Singer) music video
Ate food on the floor in fourth grade for a brief time (I was bored)
 

Broseph

Nice to rake your acquaintance
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One of the dumber things that I remember doing as a kid happened in elementary school.

One day I was riding the bus home after school and I was sharing a seat with this kid Bryan (I don't remember which of us was sitting next to the window) and this kid Lennon (yes his name really was Lennon and he was a very weird kid) who sat behind us stuck his face in the gap in between the seat and the window and said something along the lines of "Hey check it out I'm like that dinosaur from Jurassic Park, ya know the one that spits acid in people's faces" and he hocked a nice big loogie on our window.

The next thing I know all three of us are taking turns spitting our phlegm and mucus on the window, seeing who could leave the biggest mark and trying to make our snotballs stick without running down until the bus driver lady saw what we were doing and flipped the fuck out and rightfully so as she grabbed some windex and paper towels and made us clean up our mess while lecturing us on what a disgusting ordeal that was.

Definitely one of the dumbest things I ever did but I still crack up when I think about it.
 
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