Kiwi Farms

"Thank you for allowing me to serve you."
-Jack Chapman, 1990-2018, last words





Noodles & Beef, aka Dylan Hafertepen, is not your typical gay muscle-bear. He's into BDSM and polyamory; while most gay couples have the occasional threesome, Dylan's relationship is something else. He is the alpha of what is often referred to online as his "harem" of submissive muscle "pups."

What Dylan instructs his harem to do to show their loyalty is frankly horrifying. According to posters online, he tells them to get tattoos that say "property of Master Dylan." He has also allegedly helped them all get on steroids, and supposedly withheld steroids for misbehavior. Oh, and did I mention he's connected to three deaths?




The Harem

Chuck "Alpha Pup" Osborn

He writes about video games, and in the past has worked for PC Gamer and IGN. He also seems to have done his best to separate his professional and personal lives.
Phone: 415-786-4861
osbornchuck@gmail.com

Matthew "Angus" Scott

https://www.facebook.com/brandedbullangus (archive)
https://www.instagram.com/brandedbullangus
http://marbledbeef.tumblr.com/

Daniel Hafertepen, née Balderas

Yeah, this one is actually married to Dylan. Their wedding was as classy as you could possibly imagine.
He works in business management, and was the social media manager for Dylan's Studiomoh.com a few years ago.
musclebeartraining@gmail.com

Phil "Biff" Myers

https://www.facebook.com/phil.myers.75 (archive)
https://www.instagram.com/beefedpupunicorn/
https://www.innerbear.tumblr.com

Jack "Tank" Chapman

Died October 15, 2018.
https://www.facebook.com/brandedbulltank (archive)
https://brandedbulltank.tumblr.com (archive)
https://foursquare.com/user/93677694 (archive)
https://fetlife.com/users/4230295
http://internationalpupplay.com/asia-pacific/pup-tank/ (archive)

The Contract

Dylan has a contract with his harem, which was posted by Tank on his Tumblr a while ago (archived). The contract requires the pups submit to body modifications, surrender their salary, legally change their name, and cut off contact with people outside the harem, among other demands. Basically, Dylan has taken away the pups' identities and means of leaving.


Why is Dylan on KF?

Aside from relentless attention-whoring all over social media, Dylan's relationship drama has spilled onto most platforms. He has body dysmorphia, which he has written about at length. He strives to grow ever larger, and encourages his pups to follow suit. He also injects silicone into his balls to inflate them as well, and some of his pups/friends have done the same, which is believed to have been at his encouragement. This has proven fatal twice and led to a third death.

The First Death, Peter Dovak

The decedent was named Peter Dovak, a fellow fetishist and friend of Dylan's who was not part of his harem. He went by the username gitbigger and had a husband. He died of an embolism caused by a silicone injection.


The Second Death, Joe Quader

Joe Quader was the person Peter aka gitbigger was referred to by Dylan for the silicone injections. As the screenshots in the above section state, he reportedly committed suicide shortly before he would have been arrested for manslaughter.



This Joe Quader followed Pete on Instagram, so it's reasonable to assume this is the Joe Quader in question.

Tank

Tank, born Jack Chapman, was from Australia and quickly became enamored with Dylan. The two hit it off, and Tank was accepted into the harem. However, all was not well. Here are some screenshots of posts Tank made after he spent time with a friend Dylan didn't approve of.



During Tank and Dylan's split, Dylan groomed another pup, Angus:



An interview Tank did about his relationship

Tank's Death

Dylan claims it was an "undiagnosed lung condition" that took Tank's life at 28. The death is widely believed to have been caused by an embolism brought about by unsafe silicone injections into Tank's ballsack.

After Tank's death, Dylan kept posting on Tank's social media as though he were still alive, trying to quell rumors of his death. It was only after people figured out what was going on and that Tank was actually dead that Dylan dropped the act.


Tank's death certificate (archive):



Dylan likely tried to cover up the death to divert suspicion until Tank's body could be cremated so the evidence would be destroyed.


Aphyr

This Tumblr post (NSFW, archive) is written by a guy (username Aphyr) Dylan tried to groom to be a pup.


Noodles & Receipts

There is a blog dedicated to documenting the abuse inflicted by Dylan upon his pups called Noodles & Receipts (archive).

Raymond Smith



Other


Yes, he's a fucking furry. In fact, these names and identities that he's made some of the pups take on seem to stem from when he was more deeply involved in furry fandom. At one point, Dylan even ran a furry art website called Furry Art Pile (and later just called ArtPiles), but it's now shut down.

His furry accounts:
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/ekigyuu/ (archive)
http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Ekigyuu (archive)
https://www.deviantart.com/gojita (archive)
http://us.vclart.net/vcl/Artists/Ekigyuu/ (archive)
https://www.deviantart.com/ekigyuu (archive)

The Project

Linda, Jack's mother, convinced Dylan to return his ashes to her in person. An Australian TV news crew had picked up the story and was present for the meeting, which turned into a confrontation. Three weeks before Jack's death, he had changed his will to leave everything he had to Dylan, including $200,000 AUD that was in his name, but intended for his autistic brother. Dylan said he'd be willing to return the money, but "not with this animosity."


Dox
DOB: April 24, 1987
Phone: 415-632-6860
507 Maynard Avenue South #504
Seattle, WA 98104

Dylan is a web designer who worked for Indeed.com until this past July. In the past, he's also worked for Adobe and MTV.