EAT WITH ME | CAN’T SATISFY EVERYONE - (8/16/2019) - She satisfies NO ONE.

Jul 5, 2019

Will update with Recap. Edit: Recap!

EAT WITH ME | CAN’T SATISFY EVERYONE - 8/16/2019 (Day 59 of this 100-Day Nightmare)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- "Welcome to a new vlog" (Still WELL OVER A MONTH OLD, right?)

- Wisdom Tooth taken out yesterday. Yup, still very very old. (Thanks for connecting your videos to each OTHER, Hamber - and yet never to ACTUAL DATES.)

- We get to see the tooth? There was NO goodbye? But first she has to FIND it! BECKY moved it. (She's almost the size of a bus, so it's easier to her to throw people under the bus that way!) - SPOILER: We do not see the tooth in this video. Dissatisfied!!

- Gorl is not in pain. Her mouth is "relieved and grateful". (Odds are that tooth is more grateful to be away from her mouth than the other way around.)

- LiterateLynn is reading "Elevation" by Stephen King. It's a book about a man who is rapidly losing weight, and it features a lesbian couple. (PL: I didn't need her "synopsis". She probably only read it because she was told it featured magical weight loss, lesbians, and a diner.)

- "Everyone is different." "I have been getting mega heartburn every time I drink water." Hamber has apparently "done research" (Google/WebMD) and believes it's that her water is "low pH", but doesn't know anything about acid/base. Just NUMBORS. Plug for Bai water.

- Eric is hanging up a "gay flag" "wind chime". We still haven't eaten with her (per the title), although it's a guarantee that NOBODY is satisfied with this video...

- 5:53 - Barefoot/Toe sighting, for those who care.

- She's been outside for almost a minute and is huffing and puffing. Back inside!


- "When I sleep, I get swollen." (But blames sodium from the foods post-tooth-extraction, nevermind the high sodium content of almost EVERYTHING we're EVER seen her eat!)

- We're eating Velveeta Shells 'n' Cheese with Hamber! Hooray for 600 mg sodium! (Maybe learn to cook, you waste of heavily-breathed oxygen!)

- Oh good, more admittedly-"pointless details of mah life". Trisha Paytas purse is being used as a makeup bag. Nobody fucking cares. (More clutter, organized into another item that will become part of larger clutter.)

- We're now up to the 3x mood stabilizers phase.

Update: This means that on her 7/23 video "BUYING A HOUSE", she mentions she'll be on double meds for 2 weeks, then triple meds for another two weeks. It's officially been 24 days of posting and we've supposedly advanced 14 days in the timeline.

- She's hurting emotionally because she decided to be open about the therapist and her MULTIPLE diagnoses (Bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive, other lahs) and that "people are turning them into something they shouldn't." (Uh, it's called the TRUTH/REALITY, Hamber, and it's what things SHOULD be turned into if they are LAHS.)

- She thinks people are upset because she was told to get help, and "she did". THE THERAPIST HAS A DEGREE SITUATION! But she gets SO MUCH HATE that her doctor is a quack (for diagnosing and medicating for FOUR disorders in ONE session).

- Hamber, you stopped "trying to satisfy" your viewers 200 elbees ago. Go "satisfy yourself" to a blubber-filled grave.

- NOT ENOUGH SHELLS N CHEESE. This 600mg-sodium "snack" is NOT SATISFYING HER.


TL;DR: No pain from tooth extraction. Pain from water. Nap. Sodium-laden snack. Pain from haydurs.

Edit: Timeline math regarding medication.
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Forum Staff
🌸 Salon Mod 🌸
True & Honest Fan
Nov 8, 2016
Piggy daintily eats Velveeta Shells and Cheese with a spoon:

Dainty gorl uses Trisha's subscription box purse as a makeup bag:
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Nov 7, 2017
Bitch I don’t need or want to watch you eat shells and cheese. Ffs. This is lower effort than usual. She’s just taking the piss at this point.

Y’all she trieees so hard to be open with us, you know guizzeeee. Fucking hell. Sorry Bois, I fucking hate her right now. MOTI all over the place. You know, I’m not mad, I’m just impatient for the inevitable keel over type situation.
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May 2, 2018
She looks like she's trying to eat the Play button.
Also does it seem like her titles are getting more and more clickbait-y? Could our gorl be losing that sweet, sweet AdSense revenue?
She also started running ads at the begining of her videos 😂 now as soon as you click on her video , an ad will play

Gorl will do anything to earn that YouTube mukbang buck except filming and editing content


I’m Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.
Jul 27, 2016
i’m always intrigued whenever she discusses heartburn. her entire body is falling apart: she can’t walk more than three minutes at a time, she sleeps sitting up so she doesn’t suffocate herself to death, she’s bleeding out of random orifices for extended periods of time and her belly button sprung a leak, too, and yet blames her heart burn on water? it’s like smoking meth and blaming your skin issues on smog. it seems impossible for her to draw the connection of her weight gain and the health issues caused by her weight gain to any of her behavior. like sure, amberlynn, of course, it’s the alkalinity of your water that is causing your heart burn - not your fatty, sugary, salty, calorically dense, processed diet which lacks any vegetables, fruit, or lean meats that is slowing killing your body, probably wrecking havoc on your digestive system entirely. it’s not all the soda you drink on a daily basis, or the pint of ben and jerry’s every night, or the fact that you don’t move. it’s absolutely caused by drinking the “wrong” kind of water.

also, i’m shocked to see her reading a big girl book. i know that’s a popular novel recently and she probably bought it because of the cover, but stephen king has an adept writing hand and i’m frankly surprised that she disperses adult fiction into her seemingly never-ending library of picture books and formulaic, uninspired YA lesbian romance. and a little off-topic but in the same vein: didn’t stephen king already write that book? thinner immediately came to mind when she described the plot. either she’s botching what the book is actually about or he’s pulling a patterson at this point in his career and just rewriting his hits. hm. interesting.

Keyboard Warrior
Sep 19, 2018
"I literally can't satisfy anyone...and...ya know. There just comes a time where you stop trying to satisfy other people and you start trying to satisfy yourself."

Yeah, welcome to your entire fucking life, Amber. Story of your pathetic existence.

Eat some more Mac N' Cheese and mashed potatoes and stop pretending you're over it, like it's some chore to funnel truckloads of processed garbage into your mouth. She acts like she would be making better choices under other circumstances. 🙄

The fly buzzing around her dirty ass was the sprinkle on this shitty cupcake of a vlog.