EAT WITH ME | CAN’T SATISFY EVERYONE - (8/16/2019) - She satisfies NO ONE.

Cereal Killer

the ungodly season has officially started
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although i’m pretty amazed that she has most of her teeth in the first place. she eats a high sugar diet (a pint of ben and jerrys has about 95+ grams of sugar and she eats one of those nightly, plus a gigantic chocolate bar and, no doubt, another plethora of mixed sweet snacks, so her teeth are taking some pretty substantial damage there.)

I'd be willing to bet that the dentist found other issues, such as cavaties and fo sho a basic cleaning that he recommended she come back for. (Spoiler alert - she won't).

Or maybe he was just happy to get her out of his chair.

If it's any consolation I would assume any titled professional, especially medical, that interacts with her is laughing at the bean bag in a hurry the rest of the day. You'd have to to stop from crying. All that education and expertise and it's wasted on a deathfat like AL. Someone has a sense of ironic humor hopefully.

This is probably a certainty. IME, medical professionals have a wicked sense of humor.
 

Koresh

Waco - It happened, it was wrong, let's move on.
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Elevation is also illustrated so it's less than 144 pages of actual words. It's one of his shittier works, mostly filled with his weird political grandstanding instead of anything meaningful. Amber is definitely going to miss the point and moral of it though. Gorl should take a page out of Thinner and run over a gypsy. Since she can't fit behind a wheel anymore, I'm sure a scootmobile will do. Or Becky could roll her down a large hill toward a gypsy camp and try to nail one that way.
 

Whatthefuck

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Chicken broth, juice and some rest for a day and a half is liddurally all you need after getting your wisdom teeth out. She acts like she’s going to die of starvation. Such a fucking baby. Meanwhile she’s got enough fat stores in her body to last her LITERAL FUCKING YEARS.
I’ve been thinking the same thing. There are liddduuuurrruuuhhhlllyyy hundreds of options of low sodium foods to eat. Greek yogurt, rice boiled to death until it’s risotto style, broth, fresh vegetables cooked to extremely tender. The list goes on and I know you guizzeee know, but fuck, how is she alive being so stupid???
 

DubbleBubble

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Videos like this say so much about Amber, when Amber herself says so very very little of importance.

When she decides to throw the basic, essential for human life Water under the bus. Deciding that it's the wrong pH for her, she seems so relieved to have a scapegoat because "I thought something was wrong with me!"... So of course it's not her super morbid obesity, it's not the diet of processed sodium drenched food that could feed a family of 6, or the sodas... No, it's got to be that pesky water. She's just all too happy to be absolved of responsibility, she does this so often when she's faced with a health issue. Amber cares more about not being responsible for what's happening to her than actually doing something to fix the problem.

And so, while it might not be the perfect place for it I have a question, that I wonder if big A has ever asked herself: "Why, exactly, do you want to lose weight?"

I ask that because Amber has focused so much around losing weight, this weight loss journey, all the gimmicky diets and shit. But why, why does she really even want to lose weight when the very basic fiber of her being is based around over gluttony and sloth. She does not want to take care of herself, she does not want any sort of structure or discipline in her life, she does not want to eat normal portions of normal non processed food. Amber wants to lose weight, but not change lifestyle at all so... why? She wants to be thin for entirely superficial reasons. To be the dainty princess, to have everyone look at her in envy, to get more attention for her looks. She doesn't care about her health, she doesnt want to go on hiking trips or see the world or live til a ripe old age for that matter, no it's all basic bitch fantasy wish fulfillment. So until she really has a good hard think about life, losing weight will only ever be a fantasy that she can lie and pretend and brush off when it's inconvenient.
 

Mandaark

kiwifarms.net
I’ve been thinking the same thing. There are liddduuuurrruuuhhhlllyyy hundreds of options of low sodium foods to eat. Greek yogurt, rice boiled to death until it’s risotto style, broth, fresh vegetables cooked to extremely tender. The list goes on and I know you guizzeee know, but fuck, how is she alive being so stupid???

She's only alive because she's managed to latch onto every other being she's come into contact with, much like a parasite, and has been sucking the life force from them.
One way or another.

Without them, she'd likely be dead or homeless. Maybe a prostitute, one of those ladies who crushes tiny men for money.


Edit to avoid dp:
Agreed with the post above me.
Albert never says she wants to be healthier, never says she wants to live a full life.
She just wants other people to eye fuck her just as hard as she does. She wants to be an insta e-thot, totally unoriginal, made of expensive make-up and fillers. She wants a shallow, synthetic existence.
 

Pizza Munch

True & Honest Fan
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Chicken broth, juice and some rest for a day and a half is liddurally all you need after getting your wisdom teeth out. She acts like she’s going to die of starvation. Such a fucking baby. Meanwhile she’s got enough fat stores in her body to last her LITERAL FUCKING YEARS.

Yup.. apparently a 456 lb man fasted for 382 days and lost 276 pounds.. he even maintained under 200 lbs five years later and had no substantial health issues due to the fasting. An average person can go 21 days without food.. then for every 50 lbs of excess bf a person can survive an additional 110 days (depending on exertion, overall health, hydration).

I did the math bc autism and procrastination. Saying she's 560 lbs (I'll give it to her), 130 lbs is a healthy weight for her height, she's got her coldest water bottle, and her level of exertion is 0 (ref. pillow mountain):
21 days + [(560 lbs-130 lbs)/50 lbs]*110 days = 967 days = 2.65 years before she's dyeeen of starvation

TLDR: I think at this point the only way ALR is losing the weight she needs to is if she gets stranded on a deserted island for a couple years.
 

XenomorphThot

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but not change lifestyle at all so... why? She wants to be thin for entirely superficial reasons. To be the dainty princess, to have everyone look at her in envy, to get more attention for her looks.
She said it herself in one video, she wants to (record herself) lose weight to "inspire others". So it's probably not just about looks, but also people thinking what an amazing person she is.

The nasty narc just wants the validation of her own view of herself - most beautiful dainty princess with a heart of gold, so kind, do smart, so driven and amazing!!
 

497

kiwifarms.net
I'd be willing to bet that the dentist found other issues, such as cavaties and fo sho a basic cleaning that he recommended she come back for. (Spoiler alert - she won't).

Or maybe he was just happy to get her out of his chair.



This is probably a certainty. IME, medical professionals have a wicked sense of humor.

I wonder if she gave him that line "she had her cavities fixed at 18". I don't think she is that stupid to think that they are fixed once for life and that is it but if so I hope she did say it to the dentist and he told her she still needs to get things checked.... but oh well, this is AL so it doesn't matter. If she cared she'd be going in to get the other 3 wisdom teeth out before they start causing pain.
 

Smiling with air

kiwifarms.net
Elevation is also illustrated so it's less than 144 pages of actual words. It's one of his shittier works, mostly filled with his weird political grandstanding instead of anything meaningful. Amber is definitely going to miss the point and moral of it though. Gorl should take a page out of Thinner and run over a gypsy. Since she can't fit behind a wheel anymore, I'm sure a scootmobile will do. Or Becky could roll her down a large hill toward a gypsy camp and try to nail one that way.
she got run over by a goose
 

Snusmumriken

Let’s go fill the Internet with crime, come on!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Videos like this say so much about Amber, when Amber herself says so very very little of importance.

When she decides to throw the basic, essential for human life Water under the bus. Deciding that it's the wrong pH for her, she seems so relieved to have a scapegoat because "I thought something was wrong with me!"... So of course it's not her super morbid obesity, it's not the diet of processed sodium drenched food that could feed a family of 6, or the sodas... No, it's got to be that pesky water. She's just all too happy to be absolved of responsibility, she does this so often when she's faced with a health issue. Amber cares more about not being responsible for what's happening to her than actually doing something to fix the problem.

And so, while it might not be the perfect place for it I have a question, that I wonder if big A has ever asked herself: "Why, exactly, do you want to lose weight?"

I ask that because Amber has focused so much around losing weight, this weight loss journey, all the gimmicky diets and shit. But why, why does she really even want to lose weight when the very basic fiber of her being is based around over gluttony and sloth. She does not want to take care of herself, she does not want any sort of structure or discipline in her life, she does not want to eat normal portions of normal non processed food. Amber wants to lose weight, but not change lifestyle at all so... why? She wants to be thin for entirely superficial reasons. To be the dainty princess, to have everyone look at her in envy, to get more attention for her looks. She doesn't care about her health, she doesnt want to go on hiking trips or see the world or live til a ripe old age for that matter, no it's all basic bitch fantasy wish fulfillment. So until she really has a good hard think about life, losing weight will only ever be a fantasy that she can lie and pretend and brush off when it's inconvenient.
I genuinely don’t think she wants to lose weight at all. Her whole channel and all her hate views revolve around her sad backwards “journey” to lose weight and everyone knows it’s going nowhere but down, that’s the entertainment that keeps people watching. If she were to declare she was strictly going to do vlogs about her life, wasn’t going to diet or claim to be dieting at all (and stuck with that choice), well...who wants to watch that? We say it all the time: show us your legs, do a weigh-in. NOBODY wants an infinity of kyoot hauls and staycations.

And her ego is about as inflated as her chins, so she won’t become an (admitted) gainer. She’s stuck pretending to lose weight. That’s why she considers this a job and claims to be working oh-so-hard, because she has to act like she’s tryeen on camera and wait til it’s off to be her true disgusting self.
 

Billie Ross

Duh
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i’m always intrigued whenever she discusses heartburn. her entire body is falling apart: she can’t walk more than three minutes at a time, she sleeps sitting up so she doesn’t suffocate herself to death, she’s bleeding out of random orifices for extended periods of time and her belly button sprung a leak, too, and yet blames her heart burn on water? it’s like smoking meth and blaming your skin issues on smog. it seems impossible for her to draw the connection of her weight gain and the health issues caused by her weight gain to any of her behavior. like sure, amberlynn, of course, it’s the alkalinity of your water that is causing your heart burn - not your fatty, sugary, salty, calorically dense, processed diet which lacks any vegetables, fruit, or lean meats that is slowing killing your body, probably wrecking havoc on your digestive system entirely. it’s not all the soda you drink on a daily basis, or the pint of ben and jerry’s every night, or the fact that you don’t move. it’s absolutely caused by drinking the “wrong” kind of water.

also, i’m shocked to see her reading a big girl book. i know that’s a popular novel recently and she probably bought it because of the cover, but stephen king has an adept writing hand and i’m frankly surprised that she disperses adult fiction into her seemingly never-ending library of picture books and formulaic, uninspired YA lesbian romance. and a little off-topic but in the same vein: didn’t stephen king already write that book? thinner immediately came to mind when she described the plot. either she’s botching what the book is actually about or he’s pulling a patterson at this point in his career and just rewriting his hits. hm. interesting.
The "water" situation can be easily solved with a little spoon of baking soda in her regular water, she burps reflux, of course she needs to drink something to easy the burn feeling so she can eat more.

Absolutely no respect for any other human being at all. Looking down her four fat chins and thumbing her nose at these educated, certified professionals that are literally working to try to save her actual life.

Little degree situation. Oh my god.
Again, there is no psychiatrist, she told in the Lies video that she was never diagnosed with BED because she never saw a professional able to diagnose her, she will eventually see one... in her head there was no connection.
Once more she claimed to have depression AND Bipolar diagnoses.
The "degree in the wall" is something she saw in movies or she believes "trustworthy" professionals must have, she not even could decide in her head if it had a frame or not, or how many of it was (any other certificates?).

p.s. I knew she wouldn't remember to show us the tooth.
Se was thinking of showing, but a rotten. black tooth wouldn't match her narrative of just a healthy impacted wisdom
tooth.

View attachment 893889

What the hell happened to the cat food, did twinky shove her head into the bowl?
The cats probably using that massive bowl of crap food as a litter tray, is very similar.
 
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Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
kiwifarms.net
Again, there is no psychiatrist, she told in the Lies video that she was never diagnosed with BED because she never saw a professional able to diagnose her, she will eventually see one... in her head there was no connection.
Once more she claimed to have depression AND Bipolar diagnoses.
The "degree in the wall" is something she saw in movies or she believes "trustworthy" professionals must have, she not even could decide in her head if it had a frame or not, or how many of it was (any other certificates?).

I have always been one of the "extremists" in the camp who believes that she has NEVER been to a doctor or a psychiatrist/counselor/etc ever at all in the first place. This is a good analysis and I'm wholly willing to get behind this theory.
 

Mandaark

kiwifarms.net
lol her comments section feels like its full of the r/amberlynn fags. I was pretty disappointed with the quality, usually there's better jokes.

20190816_183449.png

"lol so witty and relatable, validate me with your likes, Des B sucks"
 
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