Educating Phil - or, you can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

rizlajizzla

kiwifarms.net
This is really gay and optimistic but it might be fun.

Your mission is to lock Phil in a very small room with one thing to read, one thing to watch, one thing to listen to and one food to eat. Or some shit like that, you get the idea, whatever. You get 5 things.

They will influence him deeply, for better or worse.

What bits of culture or philosophy or art or food would you shove into his worldview, violently and with no lubrication?

I am not sure of mine yet, but an example of a way to torture him:

  1. The Tori Amos album Boys for Pele
  2. Real Turkish Delight
  3. Steel Magnolias
  4. A biography of the French Writer Collette
or
  1. 4 copies of any album by Cher
  2. a bag of damp cheetos.

 

Wurstbrot

Basic Understanding Of Time
kiwifarms.net
I'm so glad Rizla is back.

1. Torture human interaction: A Chinese talkative male, both can't understand each other and Phil calls him Chicki Chacka Chang Wang.

2. Torture entertainment: The famous kiddo game Pop-Up Pirate OR Crocodile Dentist / Crocodoc.

3. Torture feels: A monitor linked to several webcams where Tevin and Kat live together - in DSP's house.
* He's also allowed to watch Ninja instead

4. His tiny room is actually located in front of the landscapers training ground, busy every day.

Dave is immune to any learning process and self-awareness, so I won't even try. The abscence of gin, smartphone and Netflix is hard enough to comprehend.
 

The Nameless Protagonist

PhD in WingsOfRedemptionology.
kiwifarms.net
1. To torture him in terms of reading, i'll give him the Unabomber Manifesto. Even DSP can acknowledge its autism.
2. For video torment, i'll hook him up with compilations of FGC people making fun of him.
3. For his food, he'll have a choice: Raw Pufferfish or Soft-Boiled Fetal Ducks.
4. He'll get to listen to Liquid Richard Rap albums.
 

Prince Lotor

My dreams are trying to kill me. Fuck you dreams!
kiwifarms.net
I would lock him in a 1 bedroom apartment for a week.

Film: He would be forced to begin and end his day by viewing the Japanese Psychosexual Body-horror 'Tetsuo: Iron Man' by Shinya Tsukamoto.
Music: He would have to listen to the Devin Townsend Project album 'Trancendence' in full at least once per day.

Books: He must read Robert Anton Wilson's books Prometheus Rising and Quantum Psychology: How Brain Software Programs You and Your World for the rest of the time each day.

Food: Raw fucking vegetables, each bite of which must be chewed 40 times before swallowed. Raw fruits. Chickpeas for protein. Only water and Green and/or White Tea.

Extra 'Item': A Dominatrix to enforce arbitrary strictures at her discretion, as Phil cowes in the face of strong women who will hit him.

If no change is observed his massive fagotry after a week's time the Dominatrix is to surgically castrate him and send him on his way.
 
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King Buzzo

I'm starboard to nowhere on the Milky Way
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This is autistic, but...

Book: Salted: A Manifesto on the World's Most Essential Mineral, with Recipes
Food: Salt
Watch: Documentaries on salt or live footage of salt mining
Listening Material: Audio book of Salted by a very dry narrator
And a picture of a water bottle being drained.
 
Reactions: rizlajizzla

Clop

kiwifarms.net
Well I would make him read every single page on his thread here but he already does so

(I can't stop reading "whore to culture" as "horticulture")
 
Reactions: Prince Lotor

This+

kiwifarms.net
Read: Infinite Jest

Watch: Empire by Andy Warhol

Listen: That one art video where Yoko Ono just screams into the mic for 3 minutes

Eat: Caesar salad with very light dressing of his choice
 

rizlajizzla

kiwifarms.net
I'm so glad Rizla is back.
Nigger, Imma just get banned again for being the realest motherfucker on the internet. Or get sick again and fuck off.

Food: Raw fucking vegetables, each bite of which must be chewed 40 times before swallowed. Raw fruits. Chickpeas for protein. Only water and Green and/or White Tea.

Extra 'Item': A Dominatrix to enforce arbitrary strictures at her discretion, as Phil cowes in the face of strong women who will hit him.

If no change is observed his massive fagotry after a week's time the Dominatrix is to surgically castrate him and send him on his way.
Dude, I would pay good money for that weekend.

Well I would make him read every single page on his thread here but he already does so

(I can't stop reading "whore to culture" as "horticulture")
The phrase will never be the same. Dorothy Parker is the best. Go read.

Read: Infinite Jest

Watch: Empire by Andy Warhol

Listen: That one art video where Yoko Ono just screams into the mic for 3 minutes

Eat: Caesar salad with very light dressing of his choice

Now, I like this one. Is gin a dressing?

pictures of a more successful man boning pandalee
sooooo, literally any man. Gotcha.
 
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