• ”suck my flacid tranny cock.”

Educating Philor, you can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

Discussion in 'Phil Burnell / DarkSydePhil' started by rizlajizzla, Jan 3, 2019.

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no one can help you

  1. This is really gay and optimistic but it might be fun.

    Your mission is to lock Phil in a very small room with one thing to read, one thing to watch, one thing to listen to and one food to eat. Or some shit like that, you get the idea, whatever. You get 5 things.

    They will influence him deeply, for better or worse.

    What bits of culture or philosophy or art or food would you shove into his worldview, violently and with no lubrication?

    I am not sure of mine yet, but an example of a way to torture him:

    1. The Tori Amos album Boys for Pele
    2. Real Turkish Delight
    3. Steel Magnolias
    4. A biography of the French Writer Collette
    or
    1. 4 copies of any album by Cher
    2. a bag of damp cheetos.

      [​IMG]
     
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    • 🤔 Thunkful x 1
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  2. [​IMG]

    Five copies of this book.
     
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    Wood Glue

    Wood Glue Demi-Culverinsexual Polyvinyl Acetatekin

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  3. One thing to read: "Die Antwort auf die Träume" by Rainer Winkler
    One thing to watch: Manos - The Hands Of Fate
    One thing to listen: "Lulu" by Lou Reed feat. Metallica
    One thing to eat: Surströmming
    One extra item: a hugbox
     
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  4. 5 guys
     
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    Vrakks

    Vrakks Please... I go by Gold Diamond now.
    True & Honest Fan

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  5. Gin, TIHYDP playlist, nudes of Panda, bank statements, and a bonus loaded shotgun.
     
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    metroid_fetish

    metroid_fetish Your fetish is vanilla.

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  6. Siege is the answer for everything.
     
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    Sword Fighter Super

    Sword Fighter Super I hope the princess made lotsah spaghetti!
    True & Honest Fan

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  7. I'm so glad Rizla is back.

    1. Torture human interaction: A Chinese talkative male, both can't understand each other and Phil calls him Chicki Chacka Chang Wang.

    2. Torture entertainment: The famous kiddo game Pop-Up Pirate OR Crocodile Dentist / Crocodoc.

    3. Torture feels: A monitor linked to several webcams where Tevin and Kat live together - in DSP's house.
    * He's also allowed to watch Ninja instead

    4. His tiny room is actually located in front of the landscapers training ground, busy every day.

    Dave is immune to any learning process and self-awareness, so I won't even try. The abscence of gin, smartphone and Netflix is hard enough to comprehend.
     
    Wurstbrot

    Wurstbrot Basic Understanding Of Time

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  8. 1. To torture him in terms of reading, i'll give him the Unabomber Manifesto. Even DSP can acknowledge its autism.
    2. For video torment, i'll hook him up with compilations of FGC people making fun of him.
    3. For his food, he'll have a choice: Raw Pufferfish or Soft-Boiled Fetal Ducks.
    4. He'll get to listen to Liquid Richard Rap albums.
     
    The Nameless Protagonist

    The Nameless Protagonist PhD in WingsOfRedemptionology.

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  9. I would seriously just force him to watch all of his content, all 50k+ of his videos, from start to finish, and see if he doesn’t come out a changed man. For bonus points force him to listen to prestreams he didn’t record intentionally.
     
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    thebonesauce

    thebonesauce The North American Jape

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  10. Sein und Zeit, a salad, and a book on contemporary modern feminism written by the lovely sped Roxanne Gay.
     
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    m0rnutz

    m0rnutz Not a furry

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  11. I would lock him in a 1 bedroom apartment for a week.

    Film: He would be forced to begin and end his day by viewing the Japanese Psychosexual Body-horror 'Tetsuo: Iron Man' by Shinya Tsukamoto.
    Music: He would have to listen to the Devin Townsend Project album 'Trancendence' in full at least once per day.









    Books: He must read Robert Anton Wilson's books Prometheus Rising and Quantum Psychology: How Brain Software Programs You and Your World for the rest of the time each day.

    Food: Raw fucking vegetables, each bite of which must be chewed 40 times before swallowed. Raw fruits. Chickpeas for protein. Only water and Green and/or White Tea.

    Extra 'Item': A Dominatrix to enforce arbitrary strictures at her discretion, as Phil cowes in the face of strong women who will hit him.

    If no change is observed his massive fagotry after a week's time the Dominatrix is to surgically castrate him and send him on his way.
     
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    #11 Prince Lotor, Jan 3, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2019
    Prince Lotor

    Prince Lotor I told you this would happen if I drank AfterShock

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  12. This is autistic, but...

    Book: Salted: A Manifesto on the World's Most Essential Mineral, with Recipes
    Food: Salt
    Watch: Documentaries on salt or live footage of salt mining
    Listening Material: Audio book of Salted by a very dry narrator
    And a picture of a water bottle being drained.
     
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    King Buzzo

    True & Honest Fan

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  13. Well I would make him read every single page on his thread here but he already does so

    (I can't stop reading "whore to culture" as "horticulture")
     
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  14. An exercise bike, a supply of veggies, Ecclesiastes on book on tape, A speaker that plays Lee Ermy insults whenever Phil starts to whine, and a book.
    _20180903_124915 - Copy.JPG
     
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  15. Read: Infinite Jest

    Watch: Empire by Andy Warhol

    Listen: That one art video where Yoko Ono just screams into the mic for 3 minutes

    Eat: Caesar salad with very light dressing of his choice
     
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  16. pictures of a more successful man boning pandalee
     
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  17. Nigger, Imma just get banned again for being the realest motherfucker on the internet. Or get sick again and fuck off.

    Dude, I would pay good money for that weekend.

    The phrase will never be the same. Dorothy Parker is the best. Go read.


    Now, I like this one. Is gin a dressing?

    sooooo, literally any man. Gotcha.
     
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    #17 rizlajizzla, Jan 4, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2019
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  18. He does not deserve the Boys For Pele album.
     
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    Nurse Ratchet

    Nurse Ratchet That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
    True & Honest Fan

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  19. He deserves to have Starfucker screamed into his face by a large Klingon for 4 hours.
     
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