Eli General Thread -

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I think it's about time we start up a thread for Eli now that he's become a bigger character in Deagle Nation due to his bizarre behavior and close proximity to Jace. This thread is mainly for minor tweets and discussion about his eccentricities.

Eli (last name classified) is an unemployed stoner who has dropped out of multiple colleges. After the defections of Tyce and Colby, Eli is the last remaining member of Deagle Nation other than Jace. He began as a minor character who sided with Jace during the Civil War until the failed "Operation Tupacalypse" mission where Jace sent him to Israel in order to assassinate the Prime Minister of Palestine who had been out of office for months. Instead, Eli played Runescape in hotels and fucked prostitutes on Jace's dime. Eli might possibly be the least intelligent of Jace's associates, which is incredible because Tyce can barely read and Kyle put his cats on a vegan diet. This is hard to gauge because every time he's on camera, he's too stoned to say a complete sentence. Eli has some eccentric behavior, such as capitalizing the first letter in every word when he types, skateboarding indoors, and drinking his own semen out of a fleshlight. Eli recently lived with Jace in a cabin his parents own that was previously used for growing weed and Jace's schizophrenia fueled "Ebola Mice Operation". Eli is currently MIA when he went to Canada to cut down Tumblr's servers as part of Operation Wupacalypse.

Eli can be found here on twitter: https://twitter.com/IcyPlayboi69
A well-written and informative summary of Operation Tupacalypse: http://kiwifarms.net/threads/a-brief-overview.5469/

 

[KillerBob]

Eli is this season's breakout character. How long before we have a stream of just Eli mumbling?

 

[blackie toy]

Eli is basically what Spicoli from Fast Times would have become in his early 20s.

 

[Dr. Meme]

I don't think he's necessarily the dumbest member of deagle nation, I just think he lacks a lot in common sense. Tyce may not be able to read but he knows how to push peoples buttons and has some common sense (to an extent) but Eli does what he wants because he's on any substance he can get his hands on 24/7, so his brain is constantly trying to figure out what's going on around him. I mean, he got high right before an assassination mission and then after he failed walked up to the drive through at Taco Bell and tried to get food with no money, save the swastika covered greeting card tyce him with. He just has no train of thought and does whatever seems ok to him.

 

[BADASSMANDO]

"Hey...!"
"I'm gonna fuck you up....!"

 

[gettar]

For all his obvious stupidity, he might be the sanest member of Deagle Nation just in that he doesn't have any far-fetched wolf/skeleton delusions. He seems to go along with some of Jace's military fantasies but at least he draws the line at the wolfkin stuff.
But he also parkoured himself into the hospital during a family dinner, so...

 

[Arctic]

At times it's pretty fucking scary how far out Eli is. Like when his mom was hysterical during the Tupacalypse call and he just told her to smoke weed. Or Tyce and his greeting card cheque, it was like a Spongebob sketch.

 

[Clown Doll]

When/if he goes to the whatever Community College he was talking about going, I seriously hope he goes through with his plans of trying to impress chicks with his "War Stories from the Sandpit" like he said in the JFK airport video .

 

[Protoman]

In the call with his mother, she says "You better not try and sweep this under the rug like that girl from woodstock." Did we ever figure out exactly what that meant? Because it carries some dark implications.

 

[ShavedSheep]

Eli is the most Kawaii of all the Deagles, though.

 

[Jake Morgendorffer]

obviously it's going to go like this.. Eli erupts from small support character, begins to appear in episodes more frequently, has his own movie(Operation Tupacalypse, duh), and then Jace's sidekick, and soon he'll have a spin-off side-by-side with Deagle Nation, i for one can't wait for "Pick-Up-And-Game-Zone" you know, picking up chicks on steam or hessbox

 

[BillRiley]

Personally, I'm desperately trying to forget that Eli ever owned a fleshlight.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

When/if he goes to the whatever Community College he was talking about going, I seriously hope he goes through with his plans of trying to impress chicks with his "War Stories from the Sandpit" like he said in the JFK airport video .

I believe his Mom said he's a "three-time dropout), so I'm guessing he started out at one of the many safety schools for dumb rich kids that are in New England and flunked out and has moved to some community colleges.

I don't think he's necessarily the dumbest member of deagle nation, I just think he lacks a lot in common sense. Tyce may not be able to read but he knows how to push peoples buttons and has some common sense (to an extent) but Eli does what he wants because he's on any substance he can get his hands on 24/7, so his brain is constantly trying to figure out what's going on around him. I mean, he got high right before an assassination mission and then after he failed walked up to the drive through at Taco Bell and tried to get food with no money, save the swastika covered greeting card tyce him with. He just has no train of thought and does whatever seems ok to him.

For all his obvious stupidity, he might be the sanest member of Deagle Nation just in that he doesn't have any far-fetched wolf/skeleton delusions. He seems to go along with some of Jace's military fantasies but at least he draws the line at the wolfkin stuff.
But he also parkoured himself into the hospital during a family dinner, so...

I think there's a sliding sanity scale in Deagle Nation. Other than Colby, who in his limited interaction just seems like some chill stoner, there seems to be a correlation where the craziest people are more intelligent. Jace takes care of both Tyce and Eli and tries to make them behave responsibly, for example, he's basically a parent to Tyce in his Vlogs. Tyce is smarter than Eli for reasons that Dr. Meme listed (he's not booksmart, but he's clever), but he's crazier than Eli in the sense that he's unstable and has a weird obsession with skeletons. Eli, on the other hand, is really gullible, follows directions without objection, and does stupid shit like "rob" Tyce of a swastika-covered greeting card and spent three months in one of the most historically significant parts of the world playing runescape in his hotel.

 

[Count groudon]

I really dig his hair though.

 

[Abby]

This thread is well overdue. Eli is great.

 

[herpes]

In the video where Eli's on the phone with his mother, she brings up that he "better not try to sweep this under the rug like you did with that girl from Woodstock," which can obviously be interpreted in a lot of ways (my first thought was that he may have gotten a girl pregnant and then tried to ignore it or refused to help her) but a few people took this to mean that maybe Eli had taken advantage of/raped/whatevered somebody. And then at the end of the Cottage Livestream, Jace accuses Eli of having a restraining order out against him, which Eli denies. Jace then says "well you should by now, if you don't." Maybe he was just being autistic and it's not enough to come to any conclusion either way, but if I really think about it, I wouldn't be all that surprised if Eli's actually some sort of sex pervert rapist creep, given his behavior on OKCupid among other things.

But I do think he has cool glasses.

 

[KatsuKitty]

I still can't believe the bastard crashed through the family Thanksgiving dinner table.

 

[BADASSMANDO]

In the video where Eli's on the phone with his mother, she brings up that he "better not try to sweep this under the rug like you did with that girl from Woodstock," which can obviously be interpreted in a lot of ways (my first thought was that he may have gotten a girl pregnant and then tried to ignore it or refused to help her) but a few people took this to mean that maybe Eli had taken advantage of/raped/whatevered somebody. And then at the end of the Cottage Livestream, Jace accuses Eli of having a restraining order out against him, which Eli denies. Jace then says "well you should by now, if you don't." Maybe he was just being autistic and it's not enough to come to any conclusion either way, but if I really think about it, I wouldn't be all that surprised if Eli's actually some sort of sex pervert rapist creep, given his behavior on OKCupid among other things.

But I do think he has cool glasses.

This is also the guy who talked to a girl for 5 minutes on OKCupid and said that she was his girlfriend and that he would go see her when he got back to the US.

And like a third of the conversation was the girl saying that Eli was fat.

 

[Alex Krycek]

I'd really like Eli and Kyle to do their own 'Zone' like 'The StoneZone' or something.

 

[Seahorses]

For all his obvious stupidity, he might be the sanest member of Deagle Nation just in that he doesn't have any far-fetched wolf/skeleton delusions. He seems to go along with some of Jace's military fantasies but at least he draws the line at the wolfkin stuff.
But he also parkoured himself into the hospital during a family dinner, so...

Because it's perfectly sane to travel to a foreign country to assassinate its prime minister just for a video game console, and in the name of a dead rapper too.