Eli General Thread -

[Abby]

 

[XYZpdq]

so like uhh... uhh... fukkin... like... uhh.... si- no... uhh....

uhh...

seven... uhh.... days?

 

[Amo Bishop Roden]

this is kind of spooky actually

 

[tehfolder]

Well Eli is dumb enough for me to consider him disabled. I hope he files for that and does not cut his leg off.

 

[Blueberry]

Eli is a gentle soul

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I'm pretty sure Eli is not a very good janitor considering the condition of his living quarters.

 

[Duke Nukem]

I'm pretty sure Eli is not a very good janitor considering the condition of his living quarters.

Hey, the mentally challenged need the chance to have jobs, too. Whoever has to put up with this guy better be getting a deep discount on the company tax records.

 

[Germanicus]

Hey, the mentally challenged need the chance to have jobs, too. Whoever has to put up with this guy better be getting a deep discount on the company tax records.

Of course he could work, I mean even people with Down's Syndrome can do simple work. But it's pretty obvious that Eli doesn't want to work, he prefers living life on the fast lane like Jace.

 

[Duke Nukem]

Of course he could work, I mean even people with Down's Syndrome can do simple work. But it's pretty obvious that Eli doesn't want to work, he prefers living life on the fast lane like Jace.

Does anybody possess intel on Eli's place of employment? I think it was at a grocery store or some other similar setting. Not 100% on this, though.

 

[DeagleDad420]

Does anybody possess intel on Eli's place of employment? I think it was at a grocery store or some other similar setting. Not 100% on this, though.

It was a Hannaford's, he works as a janitor. Jace said on the lastest stream that they specifically got him the job there because Jace knows Hannafords doesn't drug test (Colby told him)

 

[Duke Nukem]

It was a Hannaford's, he works as a janitor. Jace said on the lastest stream that they specifically got him the job there because Jace knows Hannafords doesn't drug test (Colby told him)

Ha ha why am I not surprised...

Thanks DeagleDad. I can only imagine the crazy shit he tries to pull at his dead end job. I mean, I have some crazy coworkers, but I can only imagine having Eli work in my building.

 

[XYZpdq]

Ha ha why am I not surprised...

Thanks DeagleDad. I can only imagine the crazy shit he tries to pull at his dead end job. I mean, I have some crazy coworkers, but I can only imagine having Eli work in my building.

Eli doesn't know he's working, they just attached a vacuum cleaner to him and he wanders around aimlessly. Like a bio-Roomba.

 

[DeagleDad420]

I can only imagine having Eli work in my building.

CONNORS & ANDREWS WEB SERIES

"Eli Gets Fired"

Written by
[REDACTED]​

FADE IN:

INT. HANNAFORDS SUPERMARKET, JANITOR'S CLOSET

​

Pan to reveal ELIJAH slumped up against the wall, humming Linkin Park's "Crawling" whilst jerking off into a mop bucket

INTERCOM
Spill cleanup in aisle 8, spill cleanup in aisle 8.​

ELIJAH
Lame... Wow... Freakout alert...
​

AISLE 8

ELIJAH is standing in the middle of a puddle of milk, repeatedly smacking the milk jug with the wrong end of his mop. His fly is still unzipped

ELIJAH
Uhh... yeah... uhh... take that... dumb spill... heh...
​

The MANAGER angrily approaches ELIJAH.

MANAGER
Are you high again? What the hell are you doing?

ELIJAH
What's up daily teens, Eli here with another daily cleanup... Heh... Hey spill, I fucked your mom!!​

ELIJAH football kicks the milk bottle across the aisle, sending milk flying everywhere. It soars and hits an old woman, who turns to regard ELIJAH

ELIJAH (still speaking to milk bottle)
I fucked your mom! Hey, ya hear that? I fuCKED YOUR MOOOOOOM!!
​

FADE TO TITLE CARD

 

[buttsbuttsbutts]

I grabbed these 2 screens from a couple of the daily diss videos, just posting them here.

Spoiler: Jace's Medicine Table

I personally like to play the game "Name Those Intoxicants!" while watching the videos, but I have no idea what that brown square bottle is. I did see a nice shot of the mouthwash bottle on the floor while watching a vid though.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

I grabbed these 2 screens from a couple of the daily diss videos, just posting them here.

Spoiler: Jace's Medicine Table

I personally like to play the game "Name Those Intoxicants!" while watching the videos, but I have no idea what that brown square bottle is. I did see a nice shot of the mouthwash bottle on the floor while watching a vid though.

Maybe the brown bottle is hydrogen peroxide? Looks similar to a bottle that I have.

 

[XYZpdq]

Totally peroxide.

I think blue cap is Equate shaving cream.

That would mean they're grooming in that room. Didn't Eli used to have the attic?

I wonder if the mice are taking over and they've given up on other rooms.

 

[Kool Kid Kue]

Name those intoxicants, ahaha

I swear the bottle with the blue cap looks like butane.. I seriously would not be surprised if it was true

 

[Duke Nukem]

Totally peroxide.

I think blue cap is Equate shaving cream.

That would mean they're grooming in that room. Didn't Eli used to have the attic?

I wonder if the mice are taking over and they've given up on other rooms.

Press 1 for MICIS victory! TAHAAAAAAA

Seriously, though, they have a tendency to hang on pretty tight to an occupied structure. My own building where I work is facing a rodent invasion due to construction removing certain barriers and stuff. While the barriers were replaced, the mice are free to raid food supplies and breed out of control.

I'm guessing the mice these guys bought were probably a mix of male and female, because they're too fucking stupid to think ahead for anything that could possibly go wrong.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

CONNORS & ANDREWS WEB SERIES

"Eli Gets Fired"

Written by
[REDACTED]​

FADE IN:

INT. HANNAFORDS SUPERMARKET, JANITOR'S CLOSET

​

Pan to reveal ELIJAH slumped up against the wall, humming Linkin Park's "Crawling" whilst jerking off into a mop bucket

INTERCOM
Spill cleanup in aisle 8, spill cleanup in aisle 8.​

ELIJAH
Lame... Wow... Freakout alert...
​

AISLE 8

ELIJAH is standing in the middle of a puddle of milk, repeatedly smacking the milk jug with the wrong end of his mop. His fly is still unzipped

ELIJAH
Uhh... yeah... uhh... take that... dumb spill... heh...
​

The MANAGER angrily approaches ELIJAH.

MANAGER
Are you high again? What the hell are you doing?

ELIJAH
What's up daily teens, Eli here with another daily cleanup... Heh... Hey spill, I fucked your mom!!​

ELIJAH football kicks the milk bottle across the aisle, sending milk flying everywhere. It soars and hits an old woman, who turns to regard ELIJAH

ELIJAH (still speaking to milk bottle)
I fucked your mom! Hey, ya hear that? I fuCKED YOUR MOOOOOOM!!
​

FADE TO TITLE CARD

Very good, but it would be more realistic if he said "I fuck your mom, faggot" more often

 

[Germanicus]

Is Eli still pagan to get pussy and has that ingenious scheme succeeded at all?