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Kiwi Farms
I think it's about time we start up a thread for Eli now that he's become a bigger character in Deagle Nation due to his bizarre behavior and close proximity to Jace. This thread is mainly for minor tweets and discussion about his eccentricities.
Eli (last name classified) is an unemployed stoner who has dropped out of multiple colleges. After the defections of Tyce and Colby, Eli is the last remaining member of Deagle Nation other than Jace. He began as a minor character who sided with Jace during the Civil War until the failed "Operation Tupacalypse" mission where Jace sent him to Israel in order to assassinate the Prime Minister of Palestine who had been out of office for months. Instead, Eli played Runescape in hotels and fucked prostitutes on Jace's dime. Eli might possibly be the least intelligent of Jace's associates, which is incredible because Tyce can barely read and Kyle put his cats on a vegan diet. This is hard to gauge because every time he's on camera, he's too stoned to say a complete sentence. Eli has some eccentric behavior, such as capitalizing the first letter in every word when he types, skateboarding indoors, and drinking his own semen out of a fleshlight. Eli recently lived with Jace in a cabin his parents own that was previously used for growing weed and Jace's schizophrenia fueled "Ebola Mice Operation". Eli is currently MIA when he went to Canada to cut down Tumblr's servers as part of Operation Wupacalypse.