Elisa Ann Schwartz / Elisa Jordana / Kermit and Friends Podcast - Gunt-enabling host of the unpopular "Kermit and Friends" podcast; former keytarist for Cobra Starship; fame-seeking ex-girlfriend of Howard Stern Show writer Benjy Bronk

So she named the show after her dead dog? That's kinda grim.
& Her dog obviously after the show’s character, her actual twitter banner right now. 9B7B3BEA-2BCE-4959-9D0D-1EEEF8825FC1.jpeg

Pinned tweet has been there for 4 days with two likes.
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It is a common factor amongst people who associate with Ralph, that they get no engagement on social media. 5945A8B9-8902-4733-8EA9-173655B5B596.jpeg
 

AgriDrThunder

Shameful
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TheSimpShow

Professional Godwinson Impersonator
Bonus: Her describing what her show is in her own words:
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(all of this was clipped just from the ethan ralph stream, none of it is edited or modified in any way)
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There is no way this bitch ever attended a church, and if she did it was possibly only once, and she probably refused to accept Jesus as the Messiah and so she was kicked out. Many of her rabbi's suggested she do a podcast or something maybe?
 
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"I didn't enjoy it that much but at least it's over lol"
–Elisa "Jordana" Schwartz, referring to The Killstream

To be fair, that's what pretty much everyone says after dealing with Ethan "The Gunt" Ralph.
I want to say that's her trying to remain semi-neutral and that it wasn't just Beardson but basically any other co-hosts/callers/chat being their usual selves towards females.
 

#KillAllPedos

A Platform We Can All Believe In
I want to say that's her trying to remain semi-neutral and that it wasn't just Beardson but basically any other co-hosts/callers/chat being their usual selves towards females.
Yup, that's probably the diplomatic way of her saying "fuck The Killstream and that fat slob Ethan Ralph, I wish I had Googled him first!"
 

iSaidShhh

Father John Misty Dawn Pedofucker
Holy shit, my familiarity with early 2000s pop punk culture is finally almost useful. Unsure if this is relevant/interesting, but please forgive a mild sperg:

Elisa was very well-known in the community to be obsessively, bunny-boilingly jealous of Gabe Saporta any time he spoke to fans (sidenote: unlike basically every semi-well-known band frontman of that time, I don't remember him being known for being a creep or particularly interested in banging fans). She would follow him out to signings/meet and greets after shows and interrupt conversations/hustle Gabe along like security if she thought he was talking too long, especially to young/pretty women. Directly after Vicky was announced as her replacement, she posted a ton of shit on MySpace that got deleted with in a day, assumedly after being contacted by Fueled By Ramen's lawyers. She continued popping up and associating herself with similar bands in that vein that weren't on FBR (which really had the corner on the genre at the time, so she was stuck with a lot of D-tier shit) until people stopped giving a shit about her, which makes sense with her moving to California timeline.

Opinion was split on whether she was actually sleeping with him or if she just wanted people to think she was.
 
Holy shit, my familiarity with early 2000s pop punk culture is finally almost useful. Unsure if this is relevant/interesting, but please forgive a mild sperg:

Elisa was very well-known in the community to be obsessively, bunny-boilingly jealous of Gabe Saporta any time he spoke to fans (sidenote: unlike basically every semi-well-known band frontman of that time, I don't remember him being known for being a creep or particularly interested in banging fans). She would follow him out to signings/meet and greets after shows and interrupt conversations/hustle Gabe along like security if she thought he was talking too long, especially to young/pretty women. Directly after Vicky was announced as her replacement, she posted a ton of shit on MySpace that got deleted with in a day, assumedly after being contacted by Fueled By Ramen's lawyers. She continued popping up and associating herself with similar bands in that vein that weren't on FBR (which really had the corner on the genre at the time, so she was stuck with a lot of D-tier shit) until people stopped giving a shit about her, which makes sense with her moving to California timeline.

Opinion was split on whether she was actually sleeping with him or if she just wanted people to think she was.
I hope that all this is a larp because why the fuck would you fill your head will all that useless shit.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
Holy shit, my familiarity with early 2000s pop punk culture is finally almost useful. Unsure if this is relevant/interesting, but please forgive a mild sperg:

Elisa was very well-known in the community to be obsessively, bunny-boilingly jealous of Gabe Saporta any time he spoke to fans (sidenote: unlike basically every semi-well-known band frontman of that time, I don't remember him being known for being a creep or particularly interested in banging fans). She would follow him out to signings/meet and greets after shows and interrupt conversations/hustle Gabe along like security if she thought he was talking too long, especially to young/pretty women. Directly after Vicky was announced as her replacement, she posted a ton of shit on MySpace that got deleted with in a day, assumedly after being contacted by Fueled By Ramen's lawyers. She continued popping up and associating herself with similar bands in that vein that weren't on FBR (which really had the corner on the genre at the time, so she was stuck with a lot of D-tier shit) until people stopped giving a shit about her, which makes sense with her moving to California timeline.

Opinion was split on whether she was actually sleeping with him or if she just wanted people to think she was.
I actually remember her from the pathetic stint later on Howard Stern. Reading the OP I instantly recognized her terrible, cringe attempts at comedy via her Kermit church BS.

When she was “dating” Benjy everyone chided him for dating an very obvious gold digger. He constantly promoted her “career” and would claim he thought she was very talented.

I remember one show where he admitted agreeing to pay her rent in LA (for a year!) after they broke up...and she wasn’t even pity fucking him. Everyone on the show was gobsmacked Benjy could be that pathetic. I think they managed to convince him to stop paying her rent (after another month) but I bet he still continued too.

I got the feeling that she was on the show occasionally just for the hilarity of “Benjy getting suckered by a crazy gold digging fame whore” instead of any actual merits.
 
I actually remember her from the pathetic stint later on Howard Stern. Reading the OP I instantly recognized her terrible, cringe attempts at comedy via her Kermit church BS.

When she was “dating” Benjy everyone chided him for dating an very obvious gold digger. He constantly promoted her “career” and would claim he thought she was very talented.

I remember one show where he admitted agreeing to pay her rent in LA (for a year!) after they broke up...and she wasn’t even pity fucking him. Everyone on the show was gobsmacked Benjy could be that pathetic. I think they managed to convince him to stop paying her rent (after another month) but I bet he still continued too.

I got the feeling that she was on the show occasionally just for the hilarity of “Benjy getting suckered by a crazy gold digging fame whore” instead of any actual merits.

That was agonizing radio. Benjy is fucking useless. Whole swaths of show that could have been better filled with reruns of Hateman voicemails just ruined talking to or about Benjy.

Surprised to have not seen this pop up yet: the song Benjy and Elisa did together about meeting eachother on J-Date, the Jewish dating app. Benjy kept autistically swearing on his life it sold 800,000 copies on iTunes overnight. Even with Stern's drooling sped fanbase blindly consuming anything put in front of them, everyone knew that was horseshit.


 
She blew her only shot. Sad. Many such cases. Might as well get the ball rolling on her OnlyFans.
I certainly hope you aren't talking about her appearance on KS. If that's the epitome of her career then it's doomed. But, you know, Candance Owens got her start on the Killstream and look at her now! All kidding aside, doing stupid shit on Stern was never going to pan out anyway. Now she's reduced to some fake puppet church crap and having a bunch of nobodies to talk to with an audience of weirdos. On second thought, that's also what Ralph does so things seem to align more than they appear.
 
I certainly hope you aren't talking about her appearance on KS. If that's the epitome of her career then it's doomed. But, you know, Candance Owens got her start on the Killstream and look at her now! All kidding aside, doing stupid shit on Stern was never going to pan out anyway. Now she's reduced to some fake puppet church crap and having a bunch of nobodies to talk to with an audience of weirdos. On second thought, that's also what Ralph does so things seem to align more than they appear.
Look, I don't know what the fuck a keytarist is but I think it beats what she's doing now.
 

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