I want to talk about dealing and coping with issues. Frustration, emotional pain, the type of deep overlaying and underlying shit that really can impact you.
In my personal experience, after decades of trial and error I’ve come to the conclusion that any issues or problems I’m having emotionally are best dealt with alone and without any coping mechanism.
This is not to say “don’t be healthy”. In my personal on-going “experiment” with this approach I in fact believe I am as healthy and interconnected as ever. Not because of it or for it but just also. Healthy diet, stretching, meditation, reading things I think will better myself, reflecting. Digging deep into my interworkings. Studying neuroscience and philosophy. A Bertrand Russell, Oliver Sacks kind of thing.
I’m trying to eliminate any inner conflicts. So far this all seems to be working. I have people who I must interact with almost daily, some as responsibility. But beyond these few obligatory relationships, I am secluded. I go out in public, am polite, handle my business. I just am not engaging in much deep conversation about myself or anything really much with others. I am very socially comfortable.
I am also comfortable in seclusion and I understand that not everyone is. I would liken what I am doing as training for a boxing match if you will. I understand this is not a forever endeavor. My goal is not to be a loner, in fact quite the opposite. This is a choice I am making based on believing it’s the best and maybe only way I can grow the way I want to. My life is a great deal from where I would like it, though, objectively, I’m in an okayish position with much potential for improvement..
We’re creatures of pattern and habit. What I’m coming to more and more is a view of myself and my nature as separate symbiotic entities. I understand I have brain grooves and patterns and will have to work to re-route. Sometimes it’s as easy as getting to the root of a feeling or thought and re-working it. Other times there are moments where it feels I just can’t continue to not feel or have an attitude or I’ll go insane. But this is momentary and I’m pretty sure is just the sort of whiplash created from having no “brain groove” (neuro pathway) yet created to negotiate the scenario. Once again you can see here in this how much of our reality is dependent on a narrative which we create. A pliable narrative. Case and point neuroplasticity. I emphasize the out of world type feelings that accompany some moments throughout this. It can feel very surreal and detaching, as if there is no separation between a dream and waking life. Which we know, to the brain, is almost completely true.
I dare say my complete “experience” is transforming, and I mean experience as what it feels like to live, not how I feel in my life or am living subjectively. Just what feels good, what doesn’t. It all seems pliable and influenced by narrative. Understanding this relationship we have to narrative, and how flimsy narrative can be, I’ve come to not value it in the way I had previously. It is more a mechanism to cope than anything I believe.. Identity is never really a thing, constant flux and arc is what makes up who we think we are.
To come full circle here I think the world has conflated things. Welcome any thoughts on the topic.
In my personal experience, after decades of trial and error I’ve come to the conclusion that any issues or problems I’m having emotionally are best dealt with alone and without any coping mechanism.
This is not to say “don’t be healthy”. In my personal on-going “experiment” with this approach I in fact believe I am as healthy and interconnected as ever. Not because of it or for it but just also. Healthy diet, stretching, meditation, reading things I think will better myself, reflecting. Digging deep into my interworkings. Studying neuroscience and philosophy. A Bertrand Russell, Oliver Sacks kind of thing.
I’m trying to eliminate any inner conflicts. So far this all seems to be working. I have people who I must interact with almost daily, some as responsibility. But beyond these few obligatory relationships, I am secluded. I go out in public, am polite, handle my business. I just am not engaging in much deep conversation about myself or anything really much with others. I am very socially comfortable.
I am also comfortable in seclusion and I understand that not everyone is. I would liken what I am doing as training for a boxing match if you will. I understand this is not a forever endeavor. My goal is not to be a loner, in fact quite the opposite. This is a choice I am making based on believing it’s the best and maybe only way I can grow the way I want to. My life is a great deal from where I would like it, though, objectively, I’m in an okayish position with much potential for improvement..
We’re creatures of pattern and habit. What I’m coming to more and more is a view of myself and my nature as separate symbiotic entities. I understand I have brain grooves and patterns and will have to work to re-route. Sometimes it’s as easy as getting to the root of a feeling or thought and re-working it. Other times there are moments where it feels I just can’t continue to not feel or have an attitude or I’ll go insane. But this is momentary and I’m pretty sure is just the sort of whiplash created from having no “brain groove” (neuro pathway) yet created to negotiate the scenario. Once again you can see here in this how much of our reality is dependent on a narrative which we create. A pliable narrative. Case and point neuroplasticity. I emphasize the out of world type feelings that accompany some moments throughout this. It can feel very surreal and detaching, as if there is no separation between a dream and waking life. Which we know, to the brain, is almost completely true.
I dare say my complete “experience” is transforming, and I mean experience as what it feels like to live, not how I feel in my life or am living subjectively. Just what feels good, what doesn’t. It all seems pliable and influenced by narrative. Understanding this relationship we have to narrative, and how flimsy narrative can be, I’ve come to not value it in the way I had previously. It is more a mechanism to cope than anything I believe.. Identity is never really a thing, constant flux and arc is what makes up who we think we are.
To come full circle here I think the world has conflated things. Welcome any thoughts on the topic.
Last edited:
