Ethan Ralph had a warrant for his arrest issued on 08-Nov-2021 for violating Faith's restraining order - Arraignment has been set for 24-Jan-2022. May have posted bail remotely?

MediocreMilt

I'm sorry. It had to be this way.
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Never say never, but I doubt it. Didn't he get a sober chip after the Pillstream(s) and his being so f'd up he was messing up the equipment while Flamenco was trying to talk sense into him?
I don't know that he ever showed anything like that. As I recall he said:

*glug glug glug*

Stahp. Stop innervenshinning me.

*glug glug*
*Xanax blackout*

Whassis mean it's been ten minutes? I went to AA, bitsch!!! Tell em Gayta, tell em!!!

*glug glug glug*

IT'S NAHT TROOO!!!!!
 

MeltyTW

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Mar 21, 2020
fuckin hell and thats not even putting in his true height lol

Just got done with the latest MATI and heard of Ralph's plan to stream from jail because "they give inmates iPads".
Here is what one of these epic devices looks like. No "big i" Internet, just an inhouse store for shitty games, movies, music, email and MAYBE heavily monitored voice/video calling for $2 a minute on both ends.
can we petition for ralph to be allowed to stream from jail?
 

RedRocket69

Just A Dog Looking For His White Girl
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Dec 18, 2021
fuckin hell and thats not even putting in his true height lol


can we petition for ralph to be allowed to stream from jail?
Start it up on Change.org and I'll sign. It's a fun meme campaign either way.
I'm excited for Ralph's upcoming CPS Saga.
There's no way he and Trantsu are going to keep their systems clean of narcotics or their lives free of junkies/freaks and there's a 95% that people will start calling in wellness checks for the babby.
 

Mr E. Grifter

Patricidal contributor to the Ralph Retort.
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Just got done with the latest MATI and heard of Ralph's plan to stream from jail because "they give inmates iPads".
Here is what one of these epic devices looks like. No "big i" Internet, just an inhouse store for shitty games, movies, music, email and MAYBE heavily monitored voice/video calling for $2 a minute on both ends.

View attachment 2811607
Not that I have been, but the US Jail catalogue has lots of devices that are analogues of what we have on the outside. Except they're expensive, lack the normal functionality you would expect from even the most basic version of said device and are made from see-through plastic to prevent people hiding shit in them.

If Ralph thinks he's going to be streaming he's insane, the guy has been to prison - he knows even if he could get a device that could stream, he would need to keep it hidden from the guards, other inmates and find somewhere private from which to do the show. Achieving any one of those things would be a challenge, but all three would be nigh-on impossible to do alone. If he had other inmates involved, yeah sure he might - MIGHT - be able to pull it off.

However, even if he did manage to pull it off it would only take one Ayyylawwg to tip the relevant authorities off that he is streaming from prison and the game would be up. They could inform them of the time and name of the inmate and even supply them with video evidence of the stream. The fact Ralph is thinking about this really does show he is detached from reality.
 

Bonktrash

Why does this keep happening
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If he had other inmates involved, yeah sure he might - MIGHT - be able to pull it off.
Highly doubt Ralph would even be able to persuade anybody to help him with his schemes, not that anything else about streaming from prison is remotely plausible to begin with.

He's just delusional, as always.
 

Don'tAnalizeMeBro!

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Apr 5, 2021
Not that I have been, but the US Jail catalogue has lots of devices that are analogues of what we have on the outside. Except they're expensive, lack the normal functionality you would expect from even the most basic version of said device and are made from see-through plastic to prevent people hiding shit in them.

If Ralph thinks he's going to be streaming he's insane, the guy has been to prison - he knows even if he could get a device that could stream, he would need to keep it hidden from the guards, other inmates and find somewhere private from which to do the show. Achieving any one of those things would be a challenge, but all three would be nigh-on impossible to do alone. If he had other inmates involved, yeah sure he might - MIGHT - be able to pull it off.

However, even if he did manage to pull it off it would only take one Ayyylawwg to tip the relevant authorities off that he is streaming from prison and the game would be up. They could inform them of the time and name of the inmate and even supply them with video evidence of the stream. The fact Ralph is thinking about this really does show he is detached from reality.
The Gunt is a Mastermind. He can become a Criminal Mastermind if need be.
 

RedRocket69

Just A Dog Looking For His White Girl
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Dec 18, 2021
Not that I have been, but the US Jail catalogue has lots of devices that are analogues of what we have on the outside. Except they're expensive, lack the normal functionality you would expect from even the most basic version of said device and are made from see-through plastic to prevent people hiding shit in them.

If Ralph thinks he's going to be streaming he's insane, the guy has been to prison - he knows even if he could get a device that could stream, he would need to keep it hidden from the guards, other inmates and find somewhere private from which to do the show. Achieving any one of those things would be a challenge, but all three would be nigh-on impossible to do alone. If he had other inmates involved, yeah sure he might - MIGHT - be able to pull it off.

However, even if he did manage to pull it off it would only take one Ayyylawwg to tip the relevant authorities off that he is streaming from prison and the game would be up. They could inform them of the time and name of the inmate and even supply them with video evidence of the stream. The fact Ralph is thinking about this really does show he is detached from reality.
That's a good point that he's been through the system before but from the way he was speaking it sounded as if the tablet thing was something new to him.

I'm curious why there's speculation that he'd be getting locked up at all for this recent development. It's only a class A misdemeanor, which is typically only punishable by a year in county jail. Factor in the standard 2 for 1 good behavior credits (you only receive this for misdemeanors) and possibly 3 for 1 if he decides to do trustee work, he's only looking at 4 months tops.

He could simply not return to California because there's no way they will extradite him across the country for such a petty crime. I've seen cops decline to extradite someone more than a county over for the same degree of crime.

Also, I'm pretty sure the court would happily just take his money and tell him not to do it again or consequences will never be the same.
Sadly, I don't believe any of this will result in a fresh Jail Saga. We're just going to have to wait for the CPS/Wellness Check Saga for the really spicy content
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
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That's a good point that he's been through the system before but from the way he was speaking it sounded as if the tablet thing was something new to him.

I'm curious why there's speculation that he'd be getting locked up at all for this recent development. It's only a class A misdemeanor, which is typically only punishable by a year in county jail. Factor in the standard 2 for 1 good behavior credits (you only receive this for misdemeanors) and possibly 3 for 1 if he decides to do trustee work, he's only looking at 4 months tops.

He could simply not return to California because there's no way they will extradite him across the country for such a petty crime. I've seen cops decline to extradite someone more than a county over for the same degree of crime.

Also, I'm pretty sure the court would happily just take his money and tell him not to do it again or consequences will never be the same.
Sadly, I don't believe any of this will result in a fresh Jail Saga. We're just going to have to wait for the CPS/Wellness Check Saga for the really spicy content
He’s been to jail before for punching a cop, so he already has a criminal record.

The prosecutor was totally going to let him walk away scot free from this BS as long as he just behaved himself - but he didn’t. The dumbass acted like the enormous fool that he is shit talked Faith, violated restraining orders and thereby pissed off the DA who then decided to press charges. The fact that the DA gave him a chance and he pissed all over it, is a pretty good reason to assume he will now press hard for the max sentence. Ralph had his chance and he blew it big time.

Matt Vickers is also flying to Va for the trial to make it very clear how much Ralph’s actions have harmed his family - which will certainly impress the judge that this family has been harmed by Ralph and he deserves more than a slap on the wrist.
 

State Champ

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That's a good point that he's been through the system before but from the way he was speaking it sounded as if the tablet thing was something new to him.

I'm curious why there's speculation that he'd be getting locked up at all for this recent development. It's only a class A misdemeanor, which is typically only punishable by a year in county jail. Factor in the standard 2 for 1 good behavior credits (you only receive this for misdemeanors) and possibly 3 for 1 if he decides to do trustee work, he's only looking at 4 months tops.

He could simply not return to California because there's no way they will extradite him across the country for such a petty crime. I've seen cops decline to extradite someone more than a county over for the same degree of crime.

Also, I'm pretty sure the court would happily just take his money and tell him not to do it again or consequences will never be the same.
Sadly, I don't believe any of this will result in a fresh Jail Saga. We're just going to have to wait for the CPS/Wellness Check Saga for the really spicy content
While I mostly agree with this, and I think it's unlikely Ralph actually does any real jail time, I would point out some things working against him in relation to extradition.

1. He would be wanted by California (if convicted) for not just any misdemeanor, but violating a domestic RO. How many times have local Richmond cops shown up to a domestic situation where the man was clearly the problem and things went bad? I would guess a lot.

2. If he promised the Cali prosecutor he'd be a good boy, then flagrantly violated the agreement like a drunken hillbilly redneck, the prosecutor might make it personal.

3. He currently has charges pending for revenge porn. Innocent or guilty, not a good thing to have on a current court docket.

4. He has a feloy conviction for getting into a drunken altercation with a female police officer. If the police find out about it I can guess how males cops are going to feel about him throwing hands with a female cop.

If this were some other state wanting him for misdemeanor unpaid speeding tickets it might go that way, I guess. However, with all Ralph has going against him would the cops really have a problem holding him in a cell to wait for a transport van to come in from California? Can Ralph realistically depend on police apathy? I don't know, but I wouldn't want to have to face those odds.
 

break these cuffs

Ohana means family
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Just got done with the latest MATI and heard of Ralph's plan to stream from jail because "they give inmates iPads".
Here is what one of these epic devices looks like. No "big i" Internet, just an inhouse store for shitty games, movies, music, email and MAYBE heavily monitored voice/video calling for $2 a minute on both ends.

View attachment 2811607
Ralph will use the phone Gator smuggles in for him until his celly either takes it from him or tells the guys who are extorting him for 'protection' that Ralph has one and they take it as payment. It would be hilarious if Gator played Brutus to Jcaesar187 and stole Killstream while he's locked up. Et tu, Eagle Eyes?
 

NynchLiggers

#EthanRalphDid911
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Joined
Nov 23, 2020
Just got done with the latest MATI and heard of Ralph's plan to stream from jail because "they give inmates iPads".
Here is what one of these epic devices looks like. No "big i" Internet, just an inhouse store for shitty games, movies, music, email and MAYBE heavily monitored voice/video calling for $2 a minute on both ends.

View attachment 2811607
GAYDUR, GAYDUR, THE AYLAGHS BRIBED THE JAIL STAFF TO NOT LET ME MANAGE THE KILLSTREAM, HELP ME GAYDUR, SMUGGLE A IPAD SO I CAN KEEP MANAGING THE STREAM, GAYDUR, GAYDUR
 

RedRocket69

Just A Dog Looking For His White Girl
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Joined
Dec 18, 2021
He’s been to jail before for punching a cop, so he already has a criminal record.

The prosecutor was totally going to let him walk away scot free from this BS as long as he just behaved himself - but he didn’t. The dumbass acted like the enormous fool that he is shit talked Faith, violated restraining orders and thereby pissed off the DA who then decided to press charges. The fact that the DA gave him a chance and he pissed all over it, is a pretty good reason to assume he will now press hard for the max sentence. Ralph had his chance and he blew it big time.

Matt Vickers is also flying to Va for the trial to make it very clear how much Ralph’s actions have harmed his family - which will certainly impress the judge that this family has been harmed by Ralph and he deserves more than a slap on the wrist.
I get where you're coming from, but I think everyone is way over hyping how this is going to play out.

Both of these charges are Class A/1 misdemeanors from two extremely separated jurisdictions.
As I mentioned above, assuming Ralph is allowed to work a trustee job in jail (you don't go to prison for misdemeanors) his maximum sentence will be a year, of which he will only have to serve 4 months.

Both convictions will be ran concurrent (no back to back sentencing).
Couple this with Covid 2: Unicorn Boogaloo and the fact that he has enough money to cover whatever petty bs the court can throw at him, it's unlikely that he will spend any time in jail.
And this is assuming the court sees this as an open and shut case.

In my opinion, the most likely outcome is that he will receive/accept roughly 1.5 years probation. The judge will likely see this as a better outcome than jail because instead of sitting around playing Spades with the spades and eating ramen pizzas for 120 days, he will have to attend drug/alcohol classes, be randomly piss tested, receive anger management and pay the system a few thousand dollars in fees/fines for 18 months.

But what do I know. I am but a humble jailhouse lawyer.

TL;DR this is a double nothing burger and you can't punt the gunt