Ethan Ralph the Food Connoisseur (and fashion expert) - Discuss gunt's food choices and shitty merch -- Surprise! The fat pig consumers a lot of food.

MeltyTW

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Mar 21, 2020
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nice to know even in death ralph will still be producing kuality kawntent
Please don't feed this slop to the dog Ralph. That salmon looks rancid:
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peculiar lack of drink garnishes on the food 0\10

Asparagus looks fine, overcooked but w/e still edible. Potatoes look fine. I think Meigh got trolled so hard over the thin lemon slice on chicken photo that she was afraid to slice lemon for this meal, even though lemon is almost mandatory to serve with salmon and asparagus.
salmon looks tough doesnt look too inedible though i suppose. also yeah may the lemon thing isnt that serious everyone gets something basic wrong or didnt see some basic alternative idea or method you should have more self esteem than needing the approval of internet trolls for every meal you post, i know its ralph making you post them just like faith and her teeth but its not some massive w or an ultimate own for you to just say "oh yeah its probably better to slice it in wedges".

really you shouldnt have low enough self esteem to think you need to be a trad anime waifu anyway especially if youre dating someone like ethan ralph who is doing the same shit he did with faith including leading you around a marriage that hes already cancelled once over. theres a theory idk about that says hes not marrying for welfare or whatever but he can still commit to you with an unofficial ceremony so he at least has it on record he made a promise even if its not legally backed.

"stfu melty you just hate my man hes alright" even so do you really feel fulfilled pretending youre some anime dream girl trad wife? dont you cringe whenever he tells you to throw out a bible verse you just googled together to own the haters a minute ago? is it fulfilling knowing ralph will never marry you and hes been caught having liaisons with other girls and openly lusting for other women loudly and regardless of your feelings? dont you wish you could stay out the line of sight of ralphs trolls instead of being paraded as a catch to trolls mocking your physical appearance? dont you wish you could just say youre not the bestest ever at cooking and that it doesnt matter how skilled you are compared to his exes?

does he even ask about interests or what you want? did you want to be dating a convicted sex offender? did you want your meals to be continuously mocked for every little detail? did you want to be ralphs attempted trump card against trolls and his exes? do you enjoy having your existence and worth defined by your comparison to other women hes dated or married? does he ask to do things you enjoy or is it all about him and what movie calling women worthless whores he wants to watch. you know the way ralph treats his supposed lovers isnt trad right? trad women didnt take siring bastards lying down and would demand marriage before conception or after if it so happened at the very least, trad women wouldnt accept a layabout husband who needed you to both work and clean and raise the kids. alt right guys who dont live up to tradition actually call women with the actual mindset of the time nags.

i mean fuck you can even find rich and powerful men being told off by their wives and the community from hundreds of years ago if the dumbasses gambled away too much.
 

verifymejoshuaconnormoon

ethan ralph got the covid vaccine in vegas
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Imagine your salmon being so tough you need a steak knife to eat it. That's the only thing on this plate that could be for. Potatoes are bite size and there's no way he cuts asparagus, probably just folds up the whole spear in his mouth at once and shoves it down.

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you don’t cut your asparges? how do you not choke to death getting it down
 

ScrappyLobsterchu

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Jul 18, 2019
This doesn't look too bad - The asparagus looks overcooked and she serves it with everything these days but otherwise it's passable. Except, who the fuck serves a side of croissant with a steak dinner? It's a breakfast pastry not a dinner roll you fat pig.
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Asparagus is easy to make and it looks pretty so it's a favorite of Instagram food whores. The croissant does looks out of place, it isn't uncommon for regular people to make like Pillsbury croissants with their dinners but it doesn't fit in the picture. This is probably the best food picture, but it's competition is the chicken salad sandwich and the 84 dollar ribeye.
 

Lobster Cult High Priest

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This doesn't look too bad - The asparagus looks overcooked and she serves it with everything these days but otherwise it's passable. Except, who the fuck serves a side of croissant with a steak dinner? It's a breakfast pastry not a dinner roll you fat pig.
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Asparagus is looking better than yesterday with the salmon. Either she is taking tips from us on Karenfarms or she has been DMing Surfer for cooking tips.
 

MeltyTW

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Mar 21, 2020
This doesn't look too bad - The asparagus looks overcooked and she serves it with everything these days but otherwise it's passable. Except, who the fuck serves a side of croissant with a steak dinner? It's a breakfast pastry not a dinner roll you fat pig.
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:story:the ralphahouse, daw ethan getting a mommy son nickname to show hes the most specialist ever. also i take back my previous post croissants arent for heavy ass steak and potatoes meals you dumb fucking cunt wtf is wrong with you do you even eat human food? have you eaten a fucking meal, no wonder ralph thinks domestic violence is based holy shit what are you doing? wtf are you doing? when the fuck is someone supposed to eat the light fluffy breakfast pastry? after being stuffed with spiced starch chunks? after having strong green veggies meant to accompany the other heavy shit? after he fucking stuffs a slab of red meat down his fucking gullet? or before any of them as just a sort of nothing snack before the actual meal that its disconcordant to?

this is why you shouldnt doubt the ralphamale i guess even when he treats his gf like utter shit.
 

AltisticRight

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you don’t cut your asparges? how do you not choke to death getting it down
I fork it then bite it in half.
This doesn't look too bad - The asparagus looks overcooked and she serves it with everything these days but otherwise it's passable. Except, who the fuck serves a side of croissant with a steak dinner? It's a breakfast pastry not a dinner roll you fat pig.
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Yeah this is actually not too bad, I'd prefer to see angled grill marks but that's just me being smug at this point.
The entire thing is weighed down by that Walmart GMO croissant.

Imagine your salmon being so tough you need a steak knife to eat it. That's the only thing on this plate that could be for. Potatoes are bite size and there's no way he cuts asparagus, probably just folds up the whole spear in his mouth at once and shoves it down.

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Nah it's for the dog.
Ralph learned about dog sashimi from that Vegas restaurant.
Ronnie taught him how to cook them, have to expand the taste somehow.
 

AncientPhosphur

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Aug 16, 2019
Listen I’m just happy Ralph might finally be eating his greens and providing him some much needed nutrients and vitamins after a lifetime of alcohol and drug abuse

That way he stays alive longer to entertain us