Ethan Ralph the Food Connoisseur (and fashion expert) - Discuss gunt's food choices and shitty merch -- Surprise! The fat pig consumers a lot of food.

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Lobster Cult High Priest

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Isn't that picture from Road Rage Tampa in December 2020? I'm guessing Ralph is using the old photo because he's slimmer in it. Also yes, @catholicnews made the better joke. Sad!
Ralph is too fat to be a Fed if we learned anything from the Patriot Front Marches where boomercons were calling people Feds for having pants that were similar colours (and a dress code)
What’re your go-to beater whiskies? a good reposado tequila too if you know anything on that front as well? Mine are Evan Williams BnB and Rittenhouse, and I’ve found I like Oaxaca Old-Fashioneds but El Tesoro is too expensive around here to justify regular replacement.
For scotch I like Oban 14 year.

For whiskey Basil Hayden’s is good,

For Rum I like dark rums over shit white rums like Barcadi. Newfie Screech is my go to rum
 

Retink

the retard is Straight Frogging in a gay month.
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Isn't that picture from Road Rage Tampa in December 2020? I'm guessing Ralph is using the old photo because he's slimmer in it. Also yes, @catholicnews made the better joke. Sad!
That's a really depressing picture, like something a poor person would take in hopes of looking more interesting. It's not even the liquor itself, it's just the small assortment of random bottles on a table, it's not like you're showing off your home bar in the basement or something, it's just a random shopping trip for a party weekend.

Also, how did these idiots not figure out the better shirt, have it say "Not a Fed" but only the "Fed" glows in the dark.
 

Takayuki Yagami

Justice is Blind, and Autistic
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That's a really depressing picture, like something a poor person would take in hopes of looking more interesting. It's not even the liquor itself, it's just the small assortment of random bottles on a table, it's not like you're showing off your home bar in the basement or something, it's just a random shopping trip for a party weekend.

Also, how did these idiots not figure out the better shirt, have it say "Not a Fed" but only the "Fed" glows in the dark.
Cobbler shakers are also the chump option, and he has the shittiest one imaginable.
 

Takayuki Yagami

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What's so bad about, and what makes a good shaker? I never really had a need for one so I don't know shit about them.
Cobbler shakers, which are what you see in tv shows and in stores, have a few issues. They freeze up so you can’t get them apart. They’re smaller so you can’t reliably make multiple drinks at a time should you need to. The built in strainer on top doesn’t catch ice chips all that well, and can get blocked by larger chunks. The Japanese seem to like them, and the ones that are produced there are probably better, but it’s not really worth the import costs.

If you’re shaking drinks get a boston shaker (2 metal cups that sit inside each other) and a hawthorne strainer.
 

Oliver Onions

Stop sinning, that's literally all you have to do.
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Rusty Cage had a couple of good ones at the time:
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Did any of you ever play that game growing up where you fold a piece of paper a couple times then everyone takes a turn drawing different sections of a body?

That's the feeling I get looking at Ralph's legs. Everything below the gunt looks like it belongs to someone else.
 

Fannyscum

Bullshit Artist
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Archiving this from the Meigh thread. I think we've taken a step backwards with this effort Ralphamales. No greens, the lumpy potatos are some of the saddest I've ever seen, the pork looks overcooked yet cold, needs a gravy of some description. I've never heard of a "toss salad" before, a google searched only turned up "Tossed" salad. 2/10, hospital-tier food, bad horse.
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MeltyTW

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Archiving this from the Meigh thread. I think we've taken a step backwards with this effort Ralphamales. No greens, the lumpy potatos are some of the saddest I've ever seen, the pork looks overcooked yet cold, needs a gravy of some description. I've never heard of a "toss salad" before, a google searched only turned up "Tossed" salad. 2/10, hospital-tier food, bad horse.
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At this point meigh is just telling us she despises ralph. Unironically has to be it, that plate is depression
 

The Big Dream

"Fuck off bitch"
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Archiving this from the Meigh thread. I think we've taken a step backwards with this effort Ralphamales. No greens, the lumpy potatos are some of the saddest I've ever seen, the pork looks overcooked yet cold, needs a gravy of some description. I've never heard of a "toss salad" before, a google searched only turned up "Tossed" salad. 2/10, hospital-tier food, bad horse.
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The carrot and cheese on the lumpy potato is straight public hospital food-tier. This is what you'd post the first time your 8 year old helps cook dinner.
 

Pale Empress

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He looks like a high schooler that stumbled onto his boomer parents' liquor cupboard (the one kept above the refrigerator with the bottle of Bailey's that hasn't been opened since that christmas party in 2017) and decided to throw a weekend kickback.

Although I'd be lying if I said that glowie shirt doesn't look pretty sweet. so I guess props for that.

What’re your go-to beater whiskies? a good reposado tequila too if you know anything on that front as well? Mine are Evan Williams BnB and Rittenhouse, and I’ve found I like Oaxaca Old-Fashioneds but El Tesoro is too expensive around here to justify regular replacement.
Not him but I like alcohol and talking about alcohol. For a beater, Basil Hayden is great, and for a step below I can't recommend Eagle Rare enough. When it comes to scotch I'm a fan of Dalwhinnie 15 or japanese stuff like Kikori or Hibiki. I've had Yamazaki before and it's only just ok, not anything special as to justify the current price point or reputation.

I'm not too into tequilas (although Clase Azul and Don Julio 1942 are the ones I'd recommend, and Casamigos used to be a good standard but from I hear their quality has dipped lately. Overall I'd recommend getting into Anejos if you're looking for a whisky equivalent), but if you're into Oaxacan stuff, try getting into Mezcals. And again, Casamigos does a decent mezcal hat's widely available albeit a little expensive (unjustifiably so imo). Del Maguey Vida is my standard and is usually available for around $30, I'd recommend it over Casamigos any day. I 100% always drink Mezcals neat so I judge them like that.

And agreed with others, cobbler shakers are fucking dumb. Boston shaker and a glass is all you need. Easiest thing in the world if you're not a fucking idiot
Is it commonplace to put (cheddar or any other kind of) cheese onto mashed potatoes? My family is Irish and would commit a ritual killing if there were ever any cheese on mash. Looks like she used garlic for the pork at least so maybe she's learning.
 
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Takayuki Yagami

Justice is Blind, and Autistic
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He looks like a high schooler that stumbled onto his boomer parents' liquor cupboard (the one kept above the refrigerator with the bottle of Bailey's that hasn't been opened since that christmas party in 2017) and decided to throw a weekend kickback.

Although I'd be lying if I said that glowie shirt doesn't look pretty sweet. so I guess props for that.


Not him but I like alcohol and talking about alcohol. For a beater, Basil Hayden is great, and for a step below I can't recommend Eagle Rare enough. When it comes to scotch I'm a fan of Dalwhinnie 15 or japanese stuff like Kikori or Hibiki. I've had Yamazaki before and it's only just ok, not anything special as to justify the current price point or reputation.

I'm not too into tequilas (although Clase Azul and Don Julio 1942 are the ones I'd recommend, and Casamigos used to be a good standard but from I hear their quality has dipped lately. Overall I'd recommend getting into Anejos if you're looking for a whisky equivalent), but if you're into Oaxacan stuff, try getting into Mezcals. And again, Casamigos does a decent mezcal hat's widely available albeit a little expensive (unjustifiably so imo). Del Maguey Vida is my standard and is usually available for around $30, I'd recommend it over Casamigos any day. I 100% always drink Mezcals neat so I judge them like that.

And agreed with others, cobbler shakers are fucking dumb. Boston shaker and a glass is all you need. Easiest thing in the world if you're not a fucking idiot

Is it commonplace to put (cheddar or any other kind of) cheese onto mashed potatoes? My family is Irish and would commit a ritual killing if there were ever any cheese on mash. Looks like she used garlic for the pork at least so maybe she's learning.
I was asking about reposados specifically because the drink I mentioned calls for them (2 dashes chocolate bitters, barspoon agave nectar, 1.5 oz reposado tequila, .5 oz mezcal, flamed orange twist). I’m actually using Vida in it. Has a slightly rubbery smell the way some Islays do without the iodine taste. Also fuck using a glass in the shaker. Tin on tin for life. The seal and the balance is better.

Edit: Why put the cheese on top instead of folding it into the mash? It’d make them less lumpy at least, and I’d use parm or peccorino instead.
 
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Pale Empress

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I was asking about reposados specifically because the drink I mentioned calls for them (2 dashes chocolate bitters, barspoon agave nectar, 1.5 oz reposado tequila, .5 oz mezcal). I’m actually using Vida in it. Has a slightly rubbery smell the way some Islays do without the iodine taste. Also fuck using a glass in the shaker. Tin on tin for life. The seal and the balance is better.
Agreed, I just default to tin/glass out of habit since two tins are oftentimes not available when I need them.

I do recommend Clase Azul as a respo then, if you can find it at a reasonable price. If you need a lower tier, Dobel has been popular when I've used it.
 

Jaded Optimist

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Is it commonplace to put (cheddar or any other kind of) cheese onto mashed potatoes?
Sometimes if I can justify an extremely calorie dense meal, I'll make loaded baked potato mash. Garlic mash (with sour cream) topped with cheese, bacon, and green onions.
"Cheddar for extra calcium" is utterly retarded though. Drink some milk instead of the extra salt and fat, cheese is for deliciousness not health.
 

Christorian X

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What’re your go-to beater whiskies? a good reposado tequila too if you know anything on that front as well? Mine are Evan Williams BnB and Rittenhouse, and I’ve found I like Oaxaca Old-Fashioneds but El Tesoro is too expensive around here to justify regular replacement.
Basil Hayden is really my standby. If I am enjoying myself and want something a bit nicer I would go for Blantons, Bankers, Noah's Mill or Rowan's Creek. I also love Kings County and Kings County Peated. High end celebrations go for Calmut Farms 12 year or some Pappy 12 or 15 year. Without power-leveling too much I spent some great time in the restaurant industry and was able to order special items at cost through distributors, it was magical.

As for tequila, I'm not a huge fan but I do love a good moscatto. The smokiness is awesome when done right.

If you haven't tried it yet, I highly recommend Basil Hayden Rye. It's finished in a port cast and is one of the sweetest rye's I've ever had. It's amazing. Try it making an old fashioned and add a bit of GM. It will blow your mind. Also a dash of orange bitters.
Not him but I like alcohol and talking about alcohol. For a beater, Basil Hayden is great, and for a step below I can't recommend Eagle Rare enough. When it comes to scotch I'm a fan of Dalwhinnie 15 or japanese stuff like Kikori or Hibiki. I've had Yamazaki before and it's only just ok, not anything special as to justify the current price point or reputation.

I'm not too into tequilas (although Clase Azul and Don Julio 1942 are the ones I'd recommend, and Casamigos used to be a good standard but from I hear their quality has dipped lately. Overall I'd recommend getting into Anejos if you're looking for a whisky equivalent), but if you're into Oaxacan stuff, try getting into Mezcals. And again, Casamigos does a decent mezcal hat's widely available albeit a little expensive (unjustifiably so imo). Del Maguey Vida is my standard and is usually available for around $30, I'd recommend it over Casamigos any day. I 100% always drink Mezcals neat so I judge them like that.

And agreed with others, cobbler shakers are fucking dumb. Boston shaker and a glass is all you need. Easiest thing in the world if you're not a fucking idiot

Casamigos went main stream and they started pumping out larger and larger batches. It became the new tequila equivalent for middle aged white people like Grey Goose and then Tito's. It got trendy and people didn't care what it tasted like. Originally Grey Goose came in a plastic bottle and was a bottle barrel well vodka. They switched to a nice bottle and paid celebs to talk it up and suddenly every white bitch was drinking it after her pilates class. Now its margs with Casamigos.

Lumpy potatoes, dried out meat, she couldn't even melt the cheese. At the very least it seems like she tried to season but that meat is drier than Meigh looking at a photo album of current and ex-relationships. The arrangement is something out of a mid-90's restaurant and there's no way this is all Ralph ate. It's an appetizer at best. The Gunt always hungers.
 

Takayuki Yagami

Justice is Blind, and Autistic
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Basil Hayden is really my standby. If I am enjoying myself and want something a bit nicer I would go for Blantons, Bankers, Noah's Mill or Rowan's Creek. I also love Kings County and Kings County Peated. High end celebrations go for Calmut Farms 12 year or some Pappy 12 or 15 year. Without power-leveling too much I spent some great time in the restaurant industry and was able to order special items at cost through distributors, it was magical.

As for tequila, I'm not a huge fan but I do love a good moscatto. The smokiness is awesome when done right.

If you haven't tried it yet, I highly recommend Basil Hayden Rye. It's finished in a port cast and is one of the sweetest rye's I've ever had. It's amazing. Try it making an old fashioned and add a bit of GM. It will blow your mind. Also a dash of orange bitters.


Casamigos went main stream and they started pumping out larger and larger batches. It became the new tequila equivalent for middle aged white people like Grey Goose and then Tito's. It got trendy and people didn't care what it tasted like. Originally Grey Goose came in a plastic bottle and was a bottle barrel well vodka. They switched to a nice bottle and paid celebs to talk it up and suddenly every white bitch was drinking it after her pilates class. Now its margs with Casamigos.


Lumpy potatoes, dried out meat, she couldn't even melt the cheese. At the very least it seems like she tried to season but that meat is drier than Meigh looking at a photo album of current and ex-relationships. The arrangement is something out of a mid-90's restaurant and there's no way this is all Ralph ate. It's an appetizer at best. The Gunt always hungers.
Using weirdly finished spirits seems like it might be a bad idea in the things I use it for. I also don’t really make rye old fashioneds as often as bourbon. I’ll usually switch between Old Forrester and Rittenhouse depending on what I think works better in a given drink or which vermouth I have.
 

Christorian X

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Using weirdly finished spirits seems like it might be a bad idea in the things I use it for. I also don’t really make rye old fashioneds as often as bourbon. I’ll usually switch between Old Forrester and Rittenhouse depending on what I think works better in a given drink or which vermouth I have.
Normally I would agree but its one exception worth trying.
 

Retink

the retard is Straight Frogging in a gay month.
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Joined
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Archiving this from the Meigh thread. I think we've taken a step backwards with this effort Ralphamales. No greens, the lumpy potatos are some of the saddest I've ever seen, the pork looks overcooked yet cold, needs a gravy of some description. I've never heard of a "toss salad" before, a google searched only turned up "Tossed" salad. 2/10, hospital-tier food, bad horse.
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She could have made this look so much better just by moving the potatoes to the center and putting the meat to the side of them instead of leaving a massive blank space on the plate while the food hangs out on the rim of the plate.

And feeding Ralph pork? Isn't that cannibalism?
 

MeltyTW

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Mar 21, 2020
Archiving this from the Meigh thread. I think we've taken a step backwards with this effort Ralphamales. No greens, the lumpy potatos are some of the saddest I've ever seen, the pork looks overcooked yet cold, needs a gravy of some description. I've never heard of a "toss salad" before, a google searched only turned up "Tossed" salad. 2/10, hospital-tier food, bad horse.
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NOW WAIT A MINUTE!
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ITS SHAPED LIKE A TINY PIGGY PORK CLIT

notice the lumpy potato balls and the pathetic phallic outcropping, its also pork so its a pork in the shape of a dick the cheese is the hair, and notice there are 3 groupings of pork cuts 1,2,3 inches! may arranges it this way and took the pic at this angle as a coded message that ralph has a micro pig dick and have him support her clandestine mockery!

edit i noticed past the base only 3 and half pork cuts extend lol.
 
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