Ethan Ralph's Biggest Mistake -

[instythot]

In this thread we will argue over which of Ethan Ralph's many, many mistakes are the one mistake that he will regret for the rest of his obesity and pill shortened life, and why.

I'll begin, not by choosing "being born" , but by going with promoting Rand from caller to co-host. This destroyed any ability to claim that the killstream was simply a very open discussion forum and relegated an unemployable Ethan to the far right grift scene with progressively (heh) fewer financial support options and an audience that the powers that be are actively trying to drive off of the internet, setting us up for the impulsive desperation that fueled so many story arcs to date.

Let us know why I'm wrong and you're right, everyone!

 

[The Intern]

Not paying Zidan, he was the Broken pillar that held it all up, when he went on his extended vacation to Chainaa (hell be back Monday guys don't worry) The whole show when to shit.

Or, im double dipping here.

Fucking a mentally unstable teenager and impregnating her.

 

[Jack Awful]

Taking his first sip of alcohol.

 

[AutismAwareness]

I believe the irrefutable worst mistake of Ethan Ralph was being born.

 

[instythot]

I believe the irrefutable worst mistake of Ethan Ralph was being born.

I would say that was Ronnie's life defining mistake, Ethan didn't really have an option in that one

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

It's his hubris. The man's ego is so inflated that it's almost laughable how he can't see the writing on the wall. He's had every opportunity to fix himself but he won't. He doesn't care about anyone other than himself. Not his mother, his disabled brother, his child bride or even his own child. He left his own father dead in a bed for two weeks before even finding out he even passed away. He's a broken, shameless piece of shit who deserves whatever kind of Hell he has created for himself.

 

[UnLimiTed-Lbs]

Antagonizing almost everyone online.

 

[part timer]

Not putting a baby in the first bride

 

[itsoktobewhite]

Befriending Corey Barnhill (pedophile, liar) was definitely his biggest mistake. Literally everything went downhill from there.

It could also be argued that his biggest mistake was taking a photo with a fan on that fateful day in Nashville. The day that he decided he would not wear his pants properly (at waist level) and that he was going to wear that dope yellow shirt that may have been a bit too short.

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

Not putting a baby in the first bride

The one before Nora?

 

[LordofCringe7206]

We could spend a lifetime debating what was the worst decision he made and the exact moment where everything started to go wrong. The reality is that the second he had any sort of internet presence whatsoever was when the clock started ticking for his downfall.

I said in the Lowtax thread a few weeks ago that I feel no matter what decision he made the second he started Something Awful it was destined for him to go downhill. Nothing that has been exposed about who he genuinely is tells me there was going to be a happy ending for him. Even if he sold it early and became a millionaire, he would have squandered it all and still ended up where he is today.

I feel the same way about Ralph. Even if he had made a few different decisions, he was always going to wind up in despair like he currently is. When you don't have the simple foundations or mental fortitude to handle success it's never going to end well.

 

[Salubrious]

Ralph's biggest mistake is that he can't put the shovel down and stop digging his own grave.

His second biggest mistake is his paper thin skin. If he had just ignored Null's corn joke and moved on, he probably wouldn't have even cracked the Top 10 lolcows last year instead of winning the award. Instead, he HAD to lash out and own the trolls.

But a caveat. As I said in a DSP thread, you can't just say "if only lolcow had done X, he would have been successful." If the lolcow could do X, they wouldn't be a lolcow in the first place. It's like IRL/IP2 streamers - there can be no "good" ones because if they were good people they wouldn't be doing IRL/IP2 streams in the first place.

 

[Delicious Diversity]

I would have to argue, assuming the claims are true, that cheating on Nora in Knoxville was his biggest mistake. She was the best woman he could hope to marry, and shortly after that trip it was clear the marriage wasn't going to last much longer. Ever since then he went from being a somewhat likable minor e-celeb in the eyes of most people to putting his foot on the gas and turning his entire life into a rapidly accelerating car crash.

He lost Nora, he lost Zidan, he lost his viewers, he lost whatever respect he had, he lost most of his income. Whatever potential he had in life is effectively dead now. I can't ever see him having a stable marriage, a steady job or a successful e-career. He will coast by on the bare minimum until he drinks himself to death.

I guess if you want to trace it back a little further you could just say going to Knoxville/associating with Andy Warski was the biggest mistake of his life. Touch the retarded phoenix, you get burned.

 

[instythot]

Ralph's biggest mistake is that he can't put the shovel down and stop digging his own grave.

His second biggest mistake is his paper thin skin. If he had just ignored Null's corn joke and moved on, he probably wouldn't have even cracked the Top 10 lolcows last year instead of winning the award. Instead, he HAD to lash out and own the trolls.

But a caveat. As I said in a DSP thread, you can't just say "if only lolcow had done X, he would have been successful." If the lolcow could do X, they wouldn't be a lolcow in the first place. It's like IRL/IP2 streamers - there can be no "good" ones because if they were good people they wouldn't be doing IRL/IP2 streams in the first place.

Oh, we know Ethan is incapable of avoiding his mistakes. We're just arguing about ranking them in here

 

[Jack Awful]

Taking his first sip of alcohol.

This isn't a joke BTW.

He seemed way happier, coherent, and more lively in the brief few streams after the pillstream where he was trying to stay sober.

We can never know for sure, but maybe he'd still be on good terms with everyone if his decision making skills weren't impaired by his drinking and drug use.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

That’s actually a hard question for me. Do you go with the most embarassing shit for him personally? In that case you have anything relating to booze, particularly the pillstreams and dialysis event. Do you go with mistakes for his long-term prospects as a streamer or “journalist”? On that front it’d be antagonizing us, his former fans, all his good guests like Josh or Jim, and his only compent cohost in Zidan. His biggest mistake overall will probably be knocking up a mentally ill teenager. Did we ever figure out if he did that out of spite or to augment his trad grift? Hope he enjoys dealing with CA child support or whatever comes of the revenge porn case.

 

[High Tea]

Would have said sperm touching egg or the punching at a cop thing, but since being born wasn't a choice and he actually achieved some success after the cop incident, won't do that. I'm going to go with losing his initial coming out of jail body and attitude. He was healthier, looked better (as evident from him still using the picture for things), and was humble, able to take banter, still seemed grateful for the success that was coming to him. Also treated people better, could take some criticism. Not sure what changed him - hubris, substances, something else.

 

[instythot]

Did we ever figure out if he did that out of spite or to augment his trad grift?

I think it was simply "she's letting me put it in without a condom. Jackpot" with all the bravado about "imma knocking up yer daughter Matt" coming from looking around him and seeing everyone having kids they can't afford, so who gives a shit

 

[Hüftpriester]

In ralph's mind, his biggest mistake was probably doxing his 2 incher. There was always some uncertainty around the dick pic in his OP but in attempting to dunk on halfwaycuck, he put all those doubts to rest. It's now confirmed that ethan ralph is a morbidly obese redneck with a micropenis, what a cliché. Broke dick farms, amirite? Too bad there's no way to fix a baby dick on a full grown man.

 

[Terrorist]

Knocking up a mentally ill teenager. Internet drama comes and goes but he’ll be paying for that one for at least the next 18 years, if he lives that long.