Ethan Ralph's New Guntmobile

Nate Scully 025

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 22, 2021
I think you all are just going to have to come to terms with the fact that Ralph's finances aren't as shitty as you hope they are.
I mean... sure, if we’re wrong, and he actually paid the list price in full, or somehow managed a halfway reasonable loan... the worst he’s done is make a baffling choice in vehicles. But...

That’s very hard to believe, and unless documentation to prove otherwise is produced to own the Farms, I’m going to continue under the assumption he’s paying loanshark rates on a shitty truck, if for no other reason than because it’s funny.

Then again, people would rightfully mock Ralph for being so thin-skinned that he had to respond to people on here calling him broke, so it’s not like there’s really a bad outcome imo.
 

Terrorist

Osama bin Ladkin
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 7, 2015
If he jacks up the suspention hows he gonna get in to the actual truck? Just think of the physicality of it.
Imagine if he literally can’t get into it, won’t admit this and it becomes a huge blowup. After months and months he’s still obviously driving May’s shitbox. A-logs raiding chat spamming WHERES THE TRUCK RALPH, @AltisticRight mathematically proving his legs are too short for the height of the wheels, Gary Numan cover by MC Jarbo, rare Dale Earnhardt Gaydurs.

YEW GAWD DAMB BROKE DICK PEEDERFILE KEEWEE FAGS R JIST JEALOUS OF MAH TRUKK! AH SPEND MORE ON TRUCK NUTS AND EROTIC MUDFLAPS THAN YEW MAKE IN A YEAR
 
Last edited:

Slav Power

CHALLENGE PISSING
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Imagine buying a japanese car and its not a Hilux. They are the only modern truck brand I know which got a war named after its company, not because of profiteering, but because of how great it is as a durable, flexible, and powerful vehicle while also maintaining their value really well, atleast in my area.
If anything a 70 Series Land Cruiser would be the most halal choice, as it more or less retains the mechanics of the original model from the 80's used in the Toyota War.
1641848434248.png
 

Jump

k/i/w/i/f/a/r/m/e/r
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 29, 2019
Imagine buying a japanese car and its not a Hilux. They are the only modern truck brand I know which got a war named after its company, not because of profiteering, but because of how great it is as a durable, flexible, and powerful vehicle while also maintaining their value really well, atleast in my area.
Do you think those niggers in Africa made any choice in the trucks they used? No. They use toyota and w123's there because thats what they had. Its not like there where many Jeep or Subaru dealers there.

Just like today you see F150s and Humvee's all over those places. They use what they use because its there. Its not like they where reading Consumer Reports and test driving trucks for a week.
CI7hy0KWgAAyn0n.jpg

And they don't sell Hilux in the USA. There was a burgerized version called the Tacoma but it was a rot box. Toyota is still replacing frames on them today.
1.PNG
 

John Andrews Stan

Call 901-922-9912 for sharts on-demand
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
They use toyota and w123's there because thats what they had. Its not like there where many Jeep or Subaru dealers there…They use what they use because its there. Its not like they where reading Consumer Reports and test driving trucks for a week.
What’s funny is Ethan is just as limited (by his shitty credit and lack of funds) in his realistic choices for vehicles as literal niggers in Africa are. He just thinks he’s fooling people when he temporarily pretends to buy something other than a Nissan, then “changes his mind.” Pathetic.
 

ColtWalker1847

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 20, 2017
If anything a 70 Series Land Cruiser would be the most halal choice, as it more or less retains the mechanics of the original model from the 80's used in the Toyota War.
View attachment 2876225
This. Marty McFly 80's Toyotas are the superior ones. The 90's ones are a motherbitch to work on. Just loaded with stupid engineering decisions to shave fractions of a penny on the assembly line that make your life hell (you gotta remove the inner fender to change the fuel filter, why?). Give me a Mazda B2600i or good old 'murican S-10 over that.
 

Victim2988

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 24, 2020
I don't understand the appeal of this kind of giant truck if you don't own a ranch or a construction firm.
Ralph choose the biggest red car like if it was a toy in a toystore.
Of course an elegant, confortable and reliable all-options black sedan for all the family was never an acceptable choice.
Manchild nigger.
About his financial situation : my shitty european country of residence learned me to never trust the economic situation of somebody by the car he is driving. You can see thousands of arabs driving new bmws and mercedes everyday here, and the ones who are not drug dealers are just brokeass losers living in the shittiest neighborhoods and spending all their shitty wages or welfare on the car while their kids eat macaronis from the foodbank.
 

An automatic clown

Bifurcated Gunt
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 3, 2021
I don't understand the appeal of this kind of giant truck if you don't own a ranch or a construction firm.
Ralph choose the biggest red car like if it was a toy in a toystore.
Of course an elegant, confortable and reliable all-options black sedan for all the family was never an acceptable choice.
Manchild nigger.
About his financial situation : my shitty european country of residence learned me to never trust the economic situation of somebody by the car he is driving. You can see thousands of arabs driving new bmws and mercedes everyday here, and the ones who are not drug dealers are just brokeass losers living in the shittiest neighborhoods and spending all their shitty wages or welfare on the car while their kids eat macaronis from the foodbank.
To be fair, in my area, I see a lot more white collar workers driving fully loaded Silverados or Ford Platinums than I do driving nice sedans. It's a status thing now, a fully loaded diesel truck is like 75-90k now.

This is one of the examples of undeserved american personal prosperity that make you look at it and go "huh, I understand the motivation of ISIS".
When a literal human gunt can afford a semi-luxury offroader pickup, while doing nothing but streaming himself seprging out.
It remains to be seen if he can actually afford it or if Jose the repo man pays him a visit
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 21, 2020
This is one of the examples of undeserved american personal prosperity that make you look at it and go "huh, I understand the motivation of ISIS".
When a literal human gunt can afford a semi-luxury offroader pickup, while doing nothing but streaming himself seprging out.
isis can only dream of having a fatty little gross midget make a fool of themselves trying to scramble while out of breath up a truck much too tall for them only to get tboned at a redlight.

we need to have a ralph loan program so other countries more deprived than us can point and laugh at the absolute freakshow and physical inadequacies of the gunt.
 

Christorian X

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 3, 2021
Ethan has been granted guardianship of Evan.


Let's see how long until the house they jointly own from his dad's estate goes up for sale.
532 Lois Marie Cove, West Memphis. The most recent street view, dated Jul 2021, shows the house completely boarded up, the mail box stuffed, yet two vehicles in the driveway.
View attachment 2877180

Must have had squatters. Truly a crackshack.

Piggy was granted custody of Evan on Dec 1st which means he can now sell the crackshack. If he isn't buying the new Guntmobile through the business, he may be using the crackshack as a way to get a secured loan. I'm excited for the moment he gets a gambling loan against the crackshack and loses, thus pissing away the house and Guntmobile in one swoop.
 

Comandante Marcos

Viva la gente loca!
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
I know I'm late as fuck to this party, and when I finally decided to check for Ralphaupdates I saw that Gunt had bought a brand new 2022 Nissan Frontier. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK????

Ever since the world's computer chip factories got their workforces flattened by the covid steamroller, there hasn't been very many new cars made. Judging from my local area recon missions there aren't very many new cars available ANYWHERE. The new car dealers are buying auction cars and putting them in front of their businesses in a desperate attempt to hide the ghostly emptiness of the rest of the business. I didn't think 2022 year cars even fucking existed irl ffs.

I know that Nissan's finance arm will loan to a chimpanzee if it can hold a pen, but still I didn't think there were many new cars out there. I was betting on Gunt getting sucked into a buy-here-pay-here deal with a piece of shit high mileage rotted out Civic. I hate to think of what the total price is on the Guntatruck, and what his payments are at 19% interest. Of course, Ralph will refuse to make the payments after a few months and Richmond Nissan will get its truck back.
 

Fastest Hand In The East

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 21, 2021
isis can only dream of having a fatty little gross midget make a fool of themselves trying to scramble while out of breath up a truck much too tall for them only to get tboned at a redlight.

we need to have a ralph loan program so other countries more deprived than us can point and laugh at the absolute freakshow and physical inadequacies of the gunt.
I agree, so many of the world problems could be solved by the proper education campaign on the real condition of american and EU gunts to counter the propaganda.

If your takeaway from this subforum is “Ethan Ralph can actually afford this vehicle,” you haven’t been paying attention.
I know he REALLY can't afford this particular truck, my point is gunts are getting more for far less effort in general. Those are unfortunate brown stains of progress.
 

Comandante Marcos

Viva la gente loca!
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
Unless you're hauling stuff, like a boat, camper, trailer, drive down some beaten up roads, or have a need for the storage in the bed, there's absolutely no reason to get a truck. You'll pay twice as much in gas and won't even use it for it's intended purposes.
El Comandante drives a 2016 Hyundai Accent 5 door bought used in 2018 from Hertz, and I have hauled a small freezer and a 4 drawer 1930s-era chest of drawers in it, for starters. Some people probably look at it and think I'm a faggot, but it really can haul small loads and I get 27 mpg. When I drive up to a gas pump and see some wigger has put $80 worth of gas in their shitbox old pickup that they probably don't even haul anything in, I chuckle. Even with California's sky high gas prices I put less than $40 per fillup in my Hyundai, and that lasts just under a week. Ralphamale is gonna be dropping probably $60 every three or four days to fill that shitty Nissan up, even considering that gas is probably cheaper in VA.