Ethan Ralph's New Guntmobile

Criminal Stupidity

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Aug 2, 2021
I don't understand the appeal of this kind of giant truck if you don't own a ranch or a construction firm.
A sincere concern for certain wiggers and low grade trash burgers across the US is wanting a bigger, heavier vehicle purely for the expectation of when they hit something or get hit they want more material between them and the impact so they're less likely to get flattened or permanently crippled. Considering Ralph is as low grade burger wigger as they come and has a history of crashing shit, I'd say he likely fits into this bracket.

The truck's purpose or utility is irrelevant, it's an admittance on wheels that he's prepared for the inevitability of another wreck but doesn't want his pot o' gunt belly to burst or toothpick legs mangled any further when it happens.
 

RickestRickCriminal

CHRIST IS KANG - RALPHAMALE
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Ralph bought a Japanese car ? Right wing pundit bought a Nissan ? America First is over ! Toyota snapped the top car maker title from General Motors, breaking a 90 year old record. Right wing LARP in suicide watch. Not even your pundits and Internet daddies believe in this crap anymore. Nick Fuentes of course doesn't care and Ralph cares even less, shame.

 

Don'tAnalizeMeBro!

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Apr 5, 2021
Piggy was granted custody of Evan on Dec 1st which means he can now sell the crackshack. If he isn't buying the new Guntmobile through the business, he may be using the crackshack as a way to get a secured loan. I'm excited for the moment he gets a gambling loan against the crackshack and loses, thus pissing away the house and Guntmobile in one swoop.
Could he buy it/get a loan as Evan?
 

MeltyTW

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Mar 21, 2020
Lol I just thought of something, ralph getting launched out the window in a wreck, whats the physics of it? Would he be launched like a butterfly gunted turkey through the ai, a short dot flying over the horizon in a near perfect sphere? What's the expected velocity of such a small fst man being launched forward st the height the truck would put him at?
 

Christorian X

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Aug 3, 2021
Could he buy it/get a loan as Evan?

I'm not 100% positive but I don't believe he can do so directly. He might be able to use him to co-sign but I am unsure. The house alone though gives him some leverage. Zillow says it's worth 91k (it's gone down almost 2k in one month). He could easily have refinanced the house for a much cheaper rate than a car loan and used the line of credit on the car thinking he could rent the property and essentially use the rent to pay the loan. Than again, that would be the smart play.
 

Sam Losco

Forum Staff
True & Honest Fan
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Mar 5, 2018
Lol I just thought of something, ralph getting launched out the window in a wreck, whats the physics of it? Would he be launched like a butterfly gunted turkey through the ai, a short dot flying over the horizon in a near perfect sphere? What's the expected velocity of such a small fst man being launched forward st the height the truck would put him at?
His fat fucking head would punch a hole but then the jagged bits of the windshield would slice the gunt open like gutting a fish. Bottles of Maker's Mark and trash burgers would spill out all over the place. Fucking horrorshow.
 

RickestRickCriminal

CHRIST IS KANG - RALPHAMALE
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Mar 20, 2021
Lol I just thought of something, ralph getting launched out the window in a wreck, whats the physics of it?
He would just destroy his back more than he already does, I would recommend Ralph to pay attention to the road with both hands at the wheel wearing the seat belt properly (maybe buy the extenders). Just maybe all his driving troubles would go away, but Ralph is convinced his car choice matters.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
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I know I'm late as fuck to this party, and when I finally decided to check for Ralphaupdates I saw that Gunt had bought a brand new 2022 Nissan Frontier. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK????

Ever since the world's computer chip factories got their workforces flattened by the covid steamroller, there hasn't been very many new cars made. Judging from my local area recon missions there aren't very many new cars available ANYWHERE. The new car dealers are buying auction cars and putting them in front of their businesses in a desperate attempt to hide the ghostly emptiness of the rest of the business. I didn't think 2022 year cars even fucking existed irl ffs.

I know that Nissan's finance arm will loan to a chimpanzee if it can hold a pen, but still I didn't think there were many new cars out there. I was betting on Gunt getting sucked into a buy-here-pay-here deal with a piece of shit high mileage rotted out Civic. I hate to think of what the total price is on the Guntatruck, and what his payments are at 19% interest. Of course, Ralph will refuse to make the payments after a few months and Richmond Nissan will get its truck back.
It’s because Nissans are so shitty you can actually go to a lot and buy them right now. All the good or in demand new vehicles can be hard to get. People are actually following transport trucks on to lots to get a hold of some vehicles, but def not Nissans. You can roll up to any Nissan lot and they have plenty of new cars to sell you with terrible financing.
 

The Big Dream

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Sep 9, 2021
His fat fucking head would punch a hole but then the jagged bits of the windshield would slice the gunt open like gutting a fish. Bottles of Maker's Mark and trash burgers would spill out all over the place. Fucking horrorshow.
The first responders would worry that there's been a petrol leak, only to get a whiff of that woody oak that drives wiggers crazy.
 

Lobster Cult High Priest

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Feb 11, 2021
we need to have a ralph loan program so other countries more deprived than us can point and laugh at the absolute freakshow and physical inadequacies of the gunt.
If only Ralph knocked up Nora, we would have a Pakistani Ralph running around in Afghanistan getting laughed at by his Taliban Wignats while he hosts a failing radio show called the Dakka Dakka Report, and getting Felted by a Fat 400 pound Pakistani Iman who goes by PPP.
I'm not 100% positive but I don't believe he can do so directly. He might be able to use him to co-sign but I am unsure. The house alone though gives him some leverage. Zillow says it's worth 91k (it's gone down almost 2k in one month). He could easily have refinanced the house for a much cheaper rate than a car loan and used the line of credit on the car thinking he could rent the property and essentially use the rent to pay the loan. Than again, that would be the smart play.
Ralph wouldn’t be able to refinance his rental units, he only owns the 50% stake in Ronnies West Memphis Arkansas Crack Shack. Which very likely as others have pointed out likely have tens of thousands in back taxes.

I doubt he could get a HELOC on Ronnies place.
 

Christorian X

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Joined
Aug 3, 2021
If only Ralph knocked up Nora, we would have a Pakistani Ralph running around in Afghanistan getting laughed at by his Taliban Wignats while he hosts a failing radio show called the Dakka Dakka Report, and getting Felted by a Fat 400 pound Pakistani Iman who goes by PPP.

Ralph wouldn’t be able to refinance his rental units, he only owns the 50% stake in Ronnies West Memphis Arkansas Crack Shack. Which very likely as others have pointed out likely have tens of thousands in back taxes.

I doubt he could get a HELOC on Ronnies place.

As of Dec 1st he is officially Evans legal guardian so he now has 100% access to all decisions on the house.
 

Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake

It's screamin' good.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 26, 2019
I don't understand the appeal of this kind of giant truck if you don't own a ranch or a construction firm.
A sincere concern for certain wiggers and low grade trash burgers across the US is wanting a bigger, heavier vehicle purely for the expectation of when they hit something or get hit they want more material between them and the impact so they're less likely to get flattened or permanently crippled. Considering Ralph is as low grade burger wigger as they come and has a history of crashing shit, I'd say he likely fits into this bracket.

The truck's purpose or utility is irrelevant, it's an admittance on wheels that he's prepared for the inevitability of another wreck but doesn't want his pot o' gunt belly to burst or toothpick legs mangled any further when it happens.

You guys are reading into this too much.
Wigger thinking is like caveman thinkingng. Southern, rural hard-working man tough. Drive truck. Me from suburb, want be tough. Me need truck.

Been the case since the early 2000's when every white picket-fence kid decided to sexually idetify as "redneck."
Even in ridiculously expensive New England Catholic Schools, and their various public cousins. At least they bullied movieblob.
 

Criminal Stupidity

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Joined
Aug 2, 2021
You guys are reading into this too much.
Wigger thinking is like caveman thinkingng. Southern, rural hard-working man tough. Drive truck. Me from suburb, want be tough. Me need truck.
Me Ralph. Me crash small car. Tits and gunt hurt very bad, make big scary colours. Me get big truck so not hurt so bad when crash again.

It's not exactly overanalysis or rocket science. There are people who genuinely think like this and it tends to be people who are stupid and ill-disciplined behind the wheel, like a wigger.
 

AgriDrThunder

Shameful
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Oct 24, 2019
lol at Ethan and Gator agreeing that step rails for trucks are a must have. The Frontier has nine inches of ground clearance and is analogous to a Ford Ranger. It's a great way of answering a "tell me you're short without saying that you're short" type question.

Of all the dumb shit upgrades he mentioned he's thinking of getting he seems to waver on getting a bed liner/treatment, the one thing he legitimately should get.

I live in the rural upper Midwest so I use 4x4 pretty regularly on my truck in the winter but do people in the south really use 4x4 for rain? I could see using it on a muddy road or something but just regular road pavement? Seems like a great way to destroy a truck.
 

There's light at the end

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Joined
Jan 28, 2021
His fat fucking head would punch a hole but then the jagged bits of the windshield would slice the gunt open like gutting a fish. Bottles of Maker's Mark and trash burgers would spill out all over the place. Fucking horrorshow.
That's the fun scenario. In reality, he'll just brake the windshield with his head and stuck in it with his shoulders. Unless they were jewish enough to install very shitty windshield
 

Sam Losco

Forum Staff
True & Honest Fan
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Joined
Mar 5, 2018
lol at Ethan and Gator agreeing that step rails for trucks are a must have. The Frontier has nine inches of ground clearance and is analogous to a Ford Ranger. It's a great way of answering a "tell me you're short without saying that you're short" type question.

Of all the dumb shit upgrades he mentioned he's thinking of getting he seems to waver on getting a bed liner/treatment, the one thing he legitimately should get.

I live in the rural upper Midwest so I use 4x4 pretty regularly on my truck in the winter but do people in the south really use 4x4 for rain? I could see using it on a muddy road or something but just regular road pavement? Seems like a great way to destroy a truck.
lol at a step rail for a Frontier. Fucking midget.
A bed liner would be a must if he was actually going to use the bed for anything other than empty liquor bottles. But Ralph has no ability to do manual labor so it's not like he'll be putting tools or material back there. Just hay bales for Meigh.