Ethan Ralph's New Guntmobile

Lady Adjani

not actually a lady
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Jan 13, 2020
I live in the rural upper Midwest so I use 4x4 pretty regularly on my truck in the winter but do people in the south really use 4x4 for rain? I could see using it on a muddy road or something but just regular road pavement? Seems like a great way to destroy a truck.
Plus you're burning extra fuel for no real benefit.

Rear-wheel drive, empty bed, high center of gravity, inexperienced driver, this is a disaster just waiting to happen.
 

John Andrews Stan

Call 901-922-9912 for sharts on-demand
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Sep 5, 2019
Why in the fuck did he even buy a replacement vehicle again? Ralph is unemployable and begs out of the home, the horse has a sensible mom car that's probably paid off and needs a bit of undercarriage work from a recent snowstorm stranding. They're a one car family by the logistics
As if Ethan plans to share a household with Meigh for much longer. He needs an escape hatch and for those weeks when he can’t just run off to the other side of the country, he can jump into his beater and get away from her ASAP. Let’s just say that truck won’t be parked next to Meigh’s shitbox very often.
 

There's light at the end

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Jan 28, 2021
As if Ethan plans to share a household with Meigh for much longer. He needs an escape hatch and for those weeks when he can’t just run off to the other side of the country, he can jump into his beater and get away from her ASAP. Let’s just say that truck won’t be parked next to Meigh’s shitbox very often.
You mean he'll try to ditch May before the alleged baby is born and run away in his truck to Mexico? I'm shocked! Who would have thought that he might do such a thing? Unthinkable!
 

Failure_Personified

Shouldn't Be Trusted, Persian Descent
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Mar 25, 2019
I just love how he ended up buying a Nissan, Japanese "truck" even though if you are trying to run the shtick that you are pro-America why not sign off on the Mustang? The answer I imagine somehow sits in the ball park of the down payment for the Mustang is probably higher, as well as... well if you want a V8 it's gonna put you back a bit. (he is a small engine kind of guy though i imagine)
American Muscle? How about some faggy "truck" that isn't.... built the best.

Maybe I'm giving him too much credit, maybe it wasn't a matter of cost to not buy American, maybe it has to do with that his gunt is a little too wide to easily get in and out of a Mustang.
 

AncientPhosphur

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Aug 16, 2019
You mean he'll try to ditch May before the alleged baby is born and run away in his truck to Mexico? I'm shocked! Who would have thought that he might do such a thing? Unthinkable!
Mexico? Please. He’s only able to survive in the US urban centers. If he flees to Mexico expect a cartel beheading video live on the killstream if his ransom isn’t paid in superchats all because he refuses to pay a hooker for his drugs and sex

“Naw wait a minute this WhOrE with a LOOSE PUSSY didn’t say anything about having to pay for blow!”
 

instythot

Shit-stirring retard
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Sep 17, 2018
As if Ethan plans to share a household with Meigh for much longer. He needs an escape hatch and for those weeks when he can’t just run off to the other side of the country, he can jump into his beater and get away from her ASAP. Let’s just say that truck won’t be parked next to Meigh’s shitbox very often.
While this may be the case, we also need not to underestimate the misery Ethan will put himself through to own the haters. Or his desire to emulate Dax Herrera by trying to move Alice in for a throuple, which the horse was already very traditionally open to except possibly for the inevitable puppy roasting parties once Ethan and Alice are in the same household
 

Harshed Mellow

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Dec 1, 2021
I live in the rural upper Midwest so I use 4x4 pretty regularly on my truck in the winter but do people in the south really use 4x4 for rain? I could see using it on a muddy road or something but just regular road pavement? Seems like a great way to destroy a truck.
I've never heard of anyone using it in rain but there's plenty of tards out there. Most guys that aren't using their truck for welding forget their truck is a 4x4 in my experience and everyone else has it to go play in the mud.

I hope Ralph decks this out like a new jeep owner that discovered accessories. Come on man, You need that steel bumper for the next time you run a light. You need those light bars to help see those cops.
 

Comandante Marcos

Viva la gente loca!
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Jan 1, 2020
It’s because Nissans are so shitty you can actually go to a lot and buy them right now. All the good or in demand new vehicles can be hard to get. People are actually following transport trucks on to lots to get a hold of some vehicles, but def not Nissans. You can roll up to any Nissan lot and they have plenty of new cars to sell you with terrible financing.

Everybody knows that Nissans are negative value added shitboxes, but god fucking damn, I didn't think they were THAT awful. And of course the predatory lending straight out of a ghetto buy-here-pay-here lot.
 

AgriDrThunder

Shameful
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Oct 24, 2019
I just love how he ended up buying a Nissan, Japanese "truck" even though if you are trying to run the shtick that you are pro-America why not sign off on the Mustang? The answer I imagine somehow sits in the ball park of the down payment for the Mustang is probably higher, as well as... well if you want a V8 it's gonna put you back a bit. (he is a small engine kind of guy though i imagine)
American Muscle? How about some faggy "truck" that isn't.... built the best.

Maybe I'm giving him too much credit, maybe it wasn't a matter of cost to not buy American, maybe it has to do with that his gunt is a little too wide to easily get in and out of a Mustang.

I thought the Nissan angle was interesting as well. Nissan has more accessible financing than other companies and the result is that the brand is more popular among low income urban dwellers; it's where we get the meme about black men driving maximas and altimas. That's almost certainly why Ethan has driven Nissan cars and bought a Nissan truck.

If you just told me that Ethan bought a truck I'd expect it to be a Ram, he would fit in with the Ram crowd I'd think. He talked about embracing his southern roots by buying a truck but bought a fucking Nissan which has like 2% of the truck market. Weird.
 

The Sh

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Oct 25, 2021
Why in the fuck did he even buy a replacement vehicle again? Ralph is unemployable and begs out of the home, the horse has a sensible mom car that's probably paid off and needs a bit of undercarriage work from a recent snowstorm stranding. They're a one car family by the logistics
My understanding is he wanted to buy a replacement immediately but the only thing stopping him was his belief that he would be serving a jail sentence of a few months.