Ethan Ralph's New Guntmobile

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
My understanding is he wanted to buy a replacement immediately but the only thing stopping him was his belief that he would be serving a jail sentence of a few months.
That and those bastards at Carvana that told him “lol NO” when he tried to finance the cars he really wanted through there.

It is hilarious that he put himself through all that worry about jail when he took a fucking plea at the last minute anyway. His ego is the biggest alog.
 

instythot

Shit-stirring retard
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 17, 2018
Hey Fat Boy we might get some more snow/ice Sunday & Monday so tell Meigh to plan accordingly. Send her out to stock up on Makers & loose meat, and charcoal so she can grill you some dry beef.
Alternatively: send her out to maintain relations with the local black farmers for when Ralph points whichever car directly at a foot of unplowed snow on a back road.

Him getting stuck again will be more embarrassing in a truck, tbh

Edit: I still don't grasp him buying a replacement car at all. With gas prices, a quick flight to Vegas is gonna be about as much as the road trip with less headache and having to drive yourself there. Just get the horse and Dax to do dropsies and pickies in exchange for haybales and road head
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 21, 2020
Alternatively: send her out to maintain relations with the local black farmers for when Ralph points whichever car directly at a foot of unplowed snow on a back road.

Him getting stuck again will be more embarrassing in a truck, tbh

Edit: I still don't grasp him buying a replacement car at all. With gas prices, a quick flight to Vegas is gonna be about as much as the road trip with less headache and having to drive yourself there. Just get the horse and Dax to do dropsies and pickies in exchange for haybales and road head
Lol you're assuming he's not also going to fly when he blows money on another Vegas felting, no he wants to get there asap he'll fly
 

Oppressed By Corn Flakes

Will Kellogg's reign of terror ever end?
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 23, 2021
Ok, I enough time has passed. Do we have ANY proof that he actually bought ANYTHING? Has he posted a dancing video of him shitting in the seat to prove that he owns it and he is not, in fact, owned? I scanned through back up to Sunday and I didn't see anything.
All we would need is a temp plate to confirm.
 

Wine em Dine em 69 em

Bus stop rat bag & fucked up old hag
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 14, 2021
If only Ralph knocked up Nora, we would have a Pakistani Ralph running around in Afghanistan getting laughed at by his Taliban Wignats while he hosts a failing radio show called the Dakka Dakka Report, and getting Felted by a Fat 400 pound Pakistani Iman who goes by PPP.

Ralph wouldn’t be able to refinance his rental units, he only owns the 50% stake in Ronnies West Memphis Arkansas Crack Shack. Which very likely as others have pointed out likely have tens of thousands in back taxes.

I doubt he could get a HELOC on Ronnies place.
What could have been, a proper firstborn legitimate son. E5E0F107-DA82-44EB-8639-2B3005BD5C05.jpeg
Little alpha nigga already more badass than Ralph.
 

Takayuki Yagami

Justice is Blind, and Autistic
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 7, 2013
His fat fucking head would punch a hole but then the jagged bits of the windshield would slice the gunt open like gutting a fish. Bottles of Maker's Mark and trash burgers would spill out all over the place. Fucking horrorshow.
Meaning he’d look like a less green version of a Great Unclean One from warhammer.
 

Failure_Personified

Shouldn't Be Trusted, Persian Descent
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 25, 2019
I thought the Nissan angle was interesting as well. Nissan has more accessible financing than other companies and the result is that the brand is more popular among low income urban dwellers; it's where we get the meme about black men driving maximas and altimas. That's almost certainly why Ethan has driven Nissan cars and bought a Nissan truck.

If you just told me that Ethan bought a truck I'd expect it to be a Ram, he would fit in with the Ram crowd I'd think. He talked about embracing his southern roots by buying a truck but bought a fucking Nissan which has like 2% of the truck market. Weird.
I wasn’t aware that he had previous Nissan experience, so we have the issue of a repeated offender; he’s had a track record with Nissan. Which is probably why it was an “option” in his eyes. When you drive a car that “just works” enough you form brand loyalty. Though in my experience, Nissan trucks are, where I live, a meme... the truck your teenage daughter drives because you hate being seen driving it, bought by your wife 4 years back before you had the heart to tell her that “we ain’t doing that again” (ironically the same thing you tell her after your last child).

Ram on the other hand, I’m in absolute agreement. It would be both very southern and more or less, stereotypical. If he was smarter I’d a attribute his behavior of buying the Nissan as a way to set himself apart from the stereotypical, “Dodge the dad, RAM the daughter” southerners.

I think it’s a culmination of as you said, being financially motivated, as well as familiarity with the manufacturer. That’s the only way it makes sense to me
 

Law

hates dogs, loves vicodin
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 8, 2018
Can you get a pay day loan by showing superchat history?
Finally, something more depressing than Cash 4 Gold.
So does it come with a little ladder that swings down or something so he can climb in?
He's gonna get a little plastic step stool and tie a rope to it so he can yank it back into the truck once he gets in.
the truck your teenage daughter drives because you hate being seen driving it, bought by your wife 4 years back before you had the heart to tell her that “we ain’t doing that again” (ironically the same thing you tell her after your last child).
Where's the "Oddly Specific" rating when you need it.
 

Null

Ooperator
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 14, 2012

Dozernaut

Getting too old for this crap
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 16, 2021

McMitch4kf

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 24, 2020
Cool, and if I buy an Ikea dresser and assemble it in the US does that make it made in America? No.

57. Nissan Frontier: Canton, Miss. (unranked)
My decision to buy Acura is validated.
Fuck buying any piece of machinery touches by the UAW, though. I’d rather a portion of my money go to Asian companies than have a cent end up in the pocket of that parasitic mess.
 

ScamL Likely

It's not suicide, it's Kiwifarms™
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 21, 2019
Ralph got a Nissan because they’re literally the only brand that would finance a deadbeat with bad credit. Someone mentioned most niggers drive altimas and maximas and now I can’t unsee it on the road.
He's not even really keeping up with the Tyrones because the trendiest new ghettomobile nigrig seems to be the polaris slingshot.