Everyone should legally be allowed to commit one murder in their lifetime - How would you use yours?

ProgKing of the North

^^^^FUCKTARD^^^^
kiwifarms.net
Once you turn 18, you are officially allowed to murder a single person. After you do so, simply call the cops, tell them who you murdered and that you have used your lifetime murder. Keep in mind that you get to kill ONE person, so if you catch your wife banging the poolboy and kill both of them, you're still getting one murder charge (I'm undecided on if the other body has to be the freebie or if you can eat both charges and save your freebie for shivving a guy in the slammer).

The only restriction is the victim must legally be an adult, and all witnesses must also be legal adults. If any minors are witnesses, you won't be charged for murder but will be charged for contributing to exposing a minor to that shit--basically you have to pay any therapy bills until they turn 18 and could possibly be further liable if they become a further fuckup, I haven't worked this part out yet. If either the intended victim or a bystander kills you to prevent you from using your murder, it's still self-defense, but if a bystander wastes you after the fact, that counts as their kill if you've dropped your weapon and explained the situation. Once someone has used up their kill, there will need to be some sort of identification system so we know when somebody's allowed to kill, presumably some sort of facial branding.

Also, you're just allowed to kill somebody. If you wanna shoot the gas station clerk, fine, but stealing all the money after the deed is still stealing, you just won't get charged with murder in addition to theft.

Under these ground rules, how would you go about using your kill? Do you bust a cap into the first person who pisses you off just to get it out of your system so you don't have to worry about it? Do you save it in case you need it, and probably end up dying with it still unused? Do you use it for personal reasons, or use it to take out a public figure? Do you just kill yourself so you don't have to think about it?

Is OP an autistic faggot for even thinking of this? (thought I'd include a simple question here)
 

The Pink Panther

Think Like Pink
kiwifarms.net
well everybody with TDS knows their one kill would be Dinald Lump, HA, HA, HA

My free kill would be Andrew Dobson. Insufferable fatass wimps like him do not deserve to even see past the light of day.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: Damn Near

ProgKing of the North

^^^^FUCKTARD^^^^
kiwifarms.net
well everybody with TDS knows their one kill would be Dinald Lump, HA, HA, HA

My free kill would be Andrew Dobson. Insufferable fatass wimps like him do not deserve to even see past the light of day.
How do you decide on him over Movieblob? They're pretty much the same person so if I was down to the two of them it would be hard to make a decision.
 

SkeetNYeet

Forever Newfag
kiwifarms.net
I disagree, since it sounds like it could get messy. The government or the mob could start paying people to use theirs murders on other people and the laws around legal murder could get fucky as well.

I just think we should bring back dueling instead.

To stay on topic though, I'd like to duel Moviebob. I feel like out of most of the cows here he would be one of the more offended by duels.
 
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The Pink Panther

Think Like Pink
kiwifarms.net
How do you decide on him over Movieblob? They're pretty much the same person so if I was down to the two of them it would be hard to make a decision.
Moviebob is tall and fat, so even though he's a wimp, I could imagine him being able to at least beat up someone.

Dobson is short and fat....and there's this:


Look at dat face when he gets sprayed. Such a wimpy face. He was probably that little boy filled with soy who worked in the fields and never got a toy.
 

Promestein

The only good moon rabbit is a dead moon rabbit.
kiwifarms.net
Probably moviebob or Yaniv, cant decide which fat fuck is more annoying.
 

Curious Addie

kiwifarms.net
This arrangement would work if everyone provided equal value to society, but unfortunately some individuals are too useful to be wasted by morons such as OP. A better system would involve voting, with your ratio of likes to dislikes determining your legal protection. There would have to be provisions in place to prevent brigading or buying votes.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: raymond
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