Everyone should legally be allowed to commit one murder in their lifetime - How would you use yours?

[Slap47]

Wait until somebody uses their murder and then approach them and say that you'll murder them if they don't live as your slave.

 

[DrunkJoe]

Justin Beiber, the world would be better off

 

[MrTickles]

I'd offer somebody who already used up their 1 murder to pay me to kill somebody for them.

 

[Corbin Dallas Multipass]

Isn't there an obvious and huge problem with this? If every single person gets to commit one murder, if they all do it, everyone's dead.

But fine, I'll use mine on the OP for coming up with such a terrible system, then I guess try not to piss anyone off and arm myself heavily.

 

[Wraith]

Murder, Biblically, is killing with malice aforethought. Everyone I want dead deserves it.

 

[Basketball Jones]

Oh that’s easy. My ex. We haven’t spoken in years, and I have gone to extreme lengths to keep him from attempting to communicate with me and/or finding out where I live/work. But he keeps trying to find me by going around to all my friends and asking for my contact info.

I would happily waste a bullet and my one kill pass on him.

 

[Lemmingwise]

I'd build a business out of it. I'd build an orphanage and help straigthen kids lives out, give them all the love I can, don't skimp on education, amenities or attention. Then when they're 18 the only thing they have to pay is their one appointed murder. I'd fund it all by selling legal murders.

It'd create a situation where you'd have to plot and hide your murders just as you had to before. If somebody murders someone else's family member and they know who it is, they're probably going to use their murder ticket to kill you. Better to do it in secret so you don't have to use your ticket, and keep it around in case they trace it back to you.

No, read OP again. It actually accounts for this. You have to report it right away, otherwise it doesn't count as your assigned legal murder.

 

[MZ 052]

Joe Bernstein

 

[spurger king]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Brian_Wells

I'd do something like the above, but instead of robbing banks I'd tell my victim to go kill a bunch of people. I'd detonate the bomb collar anyway after he was done and that would be my "one murder".

 

[SchlauFuchs]

What would be the fucking point other than wasting human lives? This is 'tarded.

 

[cawk mcnibbler69^%]

Everyone should be allowed one lolcow phase in their lifetime - How would you use yours?

Once you turn 18, you are officially allowed to have a single autistic saga. After you do so, simply contact people affected by your rage, tell them what you have done and that you have used your lifetime "get out of being a shitty person worth laughing at card". Keep in mind that you get to safely be a degenerate for ONE span of your life, so if you continue publicly jerking off to Sonic lolicon after you moved from your scat mansion, you're still getting a thread for publicly jerking off to Sonic lolicon (I'm undecided on if the cheese pizza has to be the freebie or if you can eat both sagas and save your freebie for powerleveling in response to your thread).

The only restriction is that you can't murder or assault anybody, nor can you encourage somebody to cause substantial harm to themselves. If any people are harmed, you won't get a KiwiFarms thread but will be charged for contributing to exposing an innocent human to injury from your virgin rage--basically you have to pay any therapy bills until they fully recover and could possibly be further liable if they become a further fuckup, I haven't worked this part out yet. If either the intended victim or a bystander cuts ties with you to prevent you from using your rage, it's still self-defense, but if a bystander throws a temper tantrum against you after the fact, that counts as their lolcow phase if you've dropped your virgin rage and rationally explained the situation. Once someone has used up their free saga, there will need to be some sort of identification system so we know when somebody's allowed to go CWC, presumably some sort of facial branding.

Also, you're just allowed to go apeshit. If you wanna pepper-spray a GameStop employee, fine, but the damages caused to the person after the deed are still assault, you just won't get a thread here in addition to legal trouble.

Under these ground rules, how would you go about using your saga? Do you hate stalk the first person who pisses you off for the next five years? Do you save it in case you need it, and probably end up dying with it still unused? Do you use it for personal reasons, or use it to take out a public figure? Do you just urinate on Sonic plushies in the comfort of your private residence so you don't have to think about it?

Is OP an autistic faggot for even thinking of this? (thought I'd include a simple question here)

 

[ArnoldPalmer]

Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi. The only reason I'm doing two is because they're of the same hivemind, and share their individual distinctiveness between two bodies.

That counts, right?

 

[Trust Me I Know]

I like Josh, but I'd think New Zealand would make it worth my while.

 

[Pitere pit]

I would use it against my International Funding and accounting teacher. Bitch made almost all of the class fail their classes, only one passed but by cheating. Also she explained like shit and give us books full of errors, one day she could say a thing and the next day she will say another.

 

[AF 802]

Muzzies. The hardcore conservative kind.

I don't care if you're a "moderate" Muslim but I shouldn't have to subscribe to your subhuman third-world ideology. Either accept democracy or GTFO.

 

[TFT-A9]

What would be the fucking point other than wasting human lives? This is 'tarded.

Listen, if you're really that concerned about waste we can probably give the bodies to pig farms