exercise with me 8/29/19 -

liliput

thonking
kiwifarms.net
Amberlynn is the extreme epitome of a boomer-type figure who keeps buying new toys and diet plans without actually fully trying those things. Or an almost spot-on caricature of a person from /r/fatpeoplestories who gets exhausted after walking 1 second and then plops down to eat a Snickers.

After she got the Apple watch, it really cemented for me that she doesn’t want to lose weight, she wants a magic pill that will make her lose 50lbs a day. She already had a Fitbit. Like what part of the fancy watch is going to make you lose more weight? I would say it’s sad but she’s a crusty cunty lady.
 

gorl on a mission

skinny lesbian icon
kiwifarms.net
i was curious about amberlynn's claim to burn 2800 calories by just existing - that number seems so high - so i chucked her supposed height and weight into the first three basic metabolic rate calculators i could find online, and surely enough she likely does burn that much by just existing, if not even MORE. i'm getting well over 3000!

a gorl of amberlynn's height should have a bmr of 1200-1400, so it's absolutely horrifying that her body burns way over twice this much by just sitting on pillow mountain and breathing, and yet our gorl still can't manage to lose a few damn pounds.


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Gorlax

kiwifarms.net
The good thing about comment of the day is that we get to see some of those rare golden YT comments without having to donate a view. Beautiful.

Also, what do you guize think her next 100 days is going to be? 100 days of walking? 100 days of going outside at least once? Her goals get more and more simple each time and she still fails, I can’t think of a single thing she could actually accomplish.
 
  • DRINK!
Reactions: Gym Leader Elesa

SituationTypeThing

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If Amber memorized all of those tiktok dances, if she uploaded a dance a day on YT, she'd go hyper-viral. Hell, even I would give her the views for that. ChoreoLynn NEEDS to happen. She'd make enough money for her dream vacation to Bora Bora (though I doubt she can find it on the globe since she thinks the Poconos are in the Caribbean Also, imagine her misery once there and she realized there's uber eats canoe to deliver her orrnge chikn). I wonder how many extra seats she'd have to buy, and if she'd get a surcharge for every 50 lbs over a certain weight?

ETA: I totally take it back. After seeing this, I've seen enough of amber dancing

It could be her income that lets her blast past 300 and beyond! Even with food addiction you’ll run out of money at some point unless you’re making 10k/month like our gorl.
Womart brand mac and cheese is .39, they have $1 frozen meals (probably orange chicken, too), .99 generic cookies, .80 bags of frozen corn, a box of pasta is .60, etc. She could gorge herself for about $5 a day, which (I think) amounts to less than she'd get on food stamps if she had no income (a single, childless, jobless neighbor gets 190 a month, Idk if it varies by state though). She got up to at least 450 before the constant restaurant meals. A binge eater will shovel anything into their mouths, things that seem gross to regular people. Like entire loaves of wonder bread. It doesn't have to be enjoyable, it just has to be abundant.

After she got the Apple watch, it really cemented for me that she doesn’t want to lose weight, she wants a magic pill that will make her lose 50lbs a day.
Except there kind of is a magic pill, several of them. No, she won't drop 50lbs in a day, but probably in a couple months. She'd probably lose 30 the first month alone. But Amber doesn't want to take them. When she was put on Phentermine, she complained. She doesn't want to stop binge eating/overeating and I just can't wrap my head around that.
 
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ADHD

kiwifarms.net
How hard would it be for this bitch to go live and have Becky film her weighing in? No ceiling clips of possibly the same day, no voice overs, just a current live clip. I want her to accurately show that shes only gained 12 pounds at most in 9 months.
At this point, she'd have to send Becky out to buy a copy of the day's paper and have it with the date showing sitting next to the scale reading if she wants people to trust that she isn't filming multiple weigh ins and then claiming they're all different days.

It could be her income that lets her blast past 300 and beyond! Even with food addiction you’ll run out of money at some point unless you’re making 10k/month like our gorl. If she didn’t make that much money she’d either go broke or in debt trying to maintain her eating habits or she’d lose weight if she spent her money on necessities and budgeted for food.
She was either over 500 or very close to it before her YouTube income started hitting 10k/month.
 

DubbleBubble

kiwifarms.net
Except there kind of is a magic pill, several of them. No, she won't drop 50lbs in a day, but probably in a couple months. She'd probably lose 30 the first month alone. But Amber doesn't want to take them. When she was put on Phentermine, she complained. She doesn't want to stop binge eating/overeating and I just can't wrap my head around that.
Feelings and shit are scary. I mean okay, let's just slow down for a sec and think... What exactly would Amber fill the food void with? No really, think about it... Imagine her routine, from gasping awake in the morning (4pm) to bed time. All she knows is eat, go out to eat, get delivery, throw slop together and eat. The only time she bothers to converse with Becky or anyone else for that matter is when she's in the process of procuring or devouring food. It's a good distraction from actually having to converse or pay attention.

Just imagine sitting across a table with the half braindead sloth looking Becky with no plate of food in between you, just staring, and she starts talking.. and talking.. and she just won't stop about the nephews and... Goddamn. So you want to get away from that but if you're not going to eat then.. what do you do? Amber doesnt know what, and has no interests beyond food so.. guess it's back to bed then, good day. Yeah that's why she's terrified of real change, she's an empty husk and knows it, there's no meaning to life without her lord and savior Orange Chicken. Without the constant comfort food, and the crippling morbid obesity that excuses her from most of life's responsibilities she wouldnt know what to do with herself.
 

SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
Feelings and shit are scary. I mean okay, let's just slow down for a sec and think... What exactly would Amber fill the food void with? No really, think about it... Imagine her routine, from gasping awake in the morning (4pm) to bed time. All she knows is eat, go out to eat, get delivery, throw slop together and eat. The only time she bothers to converse with Becky or anyone else for that matter is when she's in the process of procuring or devouring food. It's a good distraction from actually having to converse or pay attention.

Just imagine sitting across a table with the half braindead sloth looking Becky with no plate of food in between you, just staring, and she starts talking.. and talking.. and she just won't stop about the nephews and... Goddamn. So you want to get away from that but if you're not going to eat then.. what do you do? Amber doesnt know what, and has no interests beyond food so.. guess it's back to bed then, good day. Yeah that's why she's terrified of real change, she's an empty husk and knows it, there's no meaning to life without her lord and savior Orange Chicken. Without the constant comfort food, and the crippling morbid obesity that excuses her from most of life's responsibilities she wouldnt know what to do with herself.
Oh lord! When you put it that way, it really is dismal. Thinking back over her public life, I guess she really hasn't done anything except manipulate people, plot to manipulate people and eat (and manipulate people by paying for their food). I just assumed if the desire to put food in her mouth was curbed, then she'd be free and able to control her life. But, yeah... her whole life is based on food or getting sympathy for what she's done to her body with food. But even if she was a presentable weight, she's still going to be a rotten person. It's not like increased mobility is going to inspire her to volunteer places, get a job, or maybe go back to school, join a club, go to a trivia night or whatever.

I thought I got the disaster that is ALR, but you've forced me to look deep into her dark, vacant soul. It's just sriracha and sadness.
 

Billie Ross

Duh
kiwifarms.net
"My teeth are so healthy" and "my mouth didn't accept this wisdom tooth" it has a cavity on it and she's claiming the rest of her teeth are healthy, like that's a big ass cavity, i wanna see an x-ray of her other teeth now to see how many more she has cause that can't be the only one
She claimed the dentist (cute old man) told her that the tooth was 100% healthy and her mouth was "rejecting" the perfect healthy tooth and started to make a "hole" in it, a hole so massive that reached the nerve.
That was the reason the dentist gave her to extract her rotten tooth??? Really????
After this she shows (WTF how stupid and blind she thinks are we????) the tooth with a very clear, obvious freaking massive cavity.
What we can conclude from this?
Whatever all the doctors (if she ever went to any of them) told her, were replaced for some really absurd lies like: "You're a healthy big girl", "You have depression and bipolar", "eat as much beef jerk you like", "weight loss surgery is not for you".
If she is talking and breathing, she is lying.
She is a mythomaniac bag of shit.
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

kiwifarms.net
It could be her income that lets her blast past 300 and beyond! Even with food addiction you’ll run out of money at some point unless you’re making 10k/month like our gorl. If she didn’t make that much money she’d either go broke or in debt trying to maintain her eating habits or she’d lose weight if she spent her money on necessities and budgeted for food.
She weighed 300 pounds when she was 10 years old, had negative income and lived in a fucking shelter.
 

marjoram

I'm a jerk feline
kiwifarms.net
If Amber memorized all of those tiktok dances, if she uploaded a dance a day on YT, she'd go hyper-viral. Hell, even I would give her the views for that. ChoreoLynn NEEDS to happen. She'd make enough money for her dream vacation to Bora Bora (though I doubt she can find it on the globe since she thinks the Poconos are in the Caribbean Also, imagine her misery once there and she realized there's uber eats canoe to deliver her orrnge chikn). I wonder how many extra seats she'd have to buy, and if she'd get a surcharge for every 50 lbs over a certain weight?

ETA: I totally take it back. After seeing this, I've seen enough of amber dancing
Ah, "Big gorl dancing...." featuring the award winning choreographer and dancer FatAl. One of my absolute favorites. Every movement so lazy, so half-assed it sums up her existence perfectly.
Big Al dances almost as well as a three-legged hippo with brain damage would....
 

Dog Prom 3D

I had to get away from those anuses for a while.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Does she consider breathing to be an exercise?
She's fucking out of luck if she doesn't.

i was curious about amberlynn's claim to burn 2800 calories by just existing - that number seems so high - so i chucked her supposed height and weight into the first three basic metabolic rate calculators i could find online, and surely enough she likely does burn that much by just existing, if not even MORE. i'm getting well over 3000!

a gorl of amberlynn's height should have a bmr of 1200-1400, so it's absolutely horrifying that her body burns way over twice this much by just sitting on pillow mountain and breathing, and yet our gorl still can't manage to lose a few damn pounds.


It's absolutely astonishing how much she has to eat to maintain but I want to remind people that she is probably eating far more than even what she'd need to gain. No one uses every calorie they consume - human digestion is not a hard science. But there is a maximum amount of calories the body can use or convert to fat and I bet AL has wrecked herself to the point that her body is far less efficient than a fit person's at processing calories.

Think of all those people who do those frightening 10,000-100,000 calorie challenges on YouTube. 100,000 calories is around 29 pounds in terms of strict math, but this wiener didn't gain 29 pounds from eating all this food in 72 hours. He shit and peed most of it out without his body having a chance to use it. There is only so much insulin the human body can make in a day but your digestive system keeps working regardless, pushing food through. At this point I guarantee you Amberlynn has insulin-resistant type 2 diabetes. Even if she keeps her intake to a relatively dainty 6,000 calories, her body currently is so fucked from years of eating this way that she likely pees out more sugar than gets converted to energy or stored as fat. I would not be surprised if Amber is plowing through 10K calories a day a few times a week.

All of this is even worse when we remember this woman often refuses to pee (for various reasons, mostly to do with laziness and not having a bathroom buddy to clean her up).

Also, I keep getting hung up on the fact that she has a BMI over 100. In fact, if she's at 600 pounds, her BMI is close to 110. This is like Dante, Milton, medieval Catholic-level gluttony. Like a line drawing of Amberlynn needs to illustrate the third and fourth circles of Hell. Three digit BMI is just absolutely beyond fucked up.
 
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