Expired / Spoiled Food Experiences -

[Pocket Dragoon]

Reminds me of when I brought my school chocolate milk home with me and it was pretty damn hot. Like in the 90s. Bear in mind I took third bus so I had to wait like half an hour, sometimes more. Unless it was raining, snowing or really cold they made us wait outside. Then I had to walk a good distance home from the bus stop. Add that to it being in my bag since 10am.

It was far from pleasant. Far from pleasant...

Back in grade school we called those Borden Bombs; not that they were actually the brand, but because it sounded better than whatever Brand-X label they carried.

In any case, the whole/vit. d ones would start swelling *minutes* after being slapped onto our trays, and I remember the first time someone launched one laterally from our schoolbus while underway, before it could explode. The resulting curdled splatter was satisfying as fuck for a bunch of 10yr olds.

It didn't take but a couple weeks before that particular flavor of milk got pulled from our cafeteria; not because of spoilage or kids complaining, but because nothing worth targeting was safe, and the Florida summer made things extra fragrant fast.

 

[Trombonista]

Last Spring I pulled a box of ham concentrate off the shelf that had expired in December 2013.

 

[Lame Entropy]

For those that don't know, organic milk lasts much longer than regular milk. I only really use it for cereal and recipes so this has saved me a lot of pouring milk down the drain.

 

[Naw_Naw]

I ate a slice of bread that had mold or touched mold, I only found out later when I went to get another slice of bread. Didn't get sick

 

[Deadwaste]

my family has a can of escargot in our freezer. it's been in there for more than a decade at this point. my parents wont throw it out because they swear theyre gonna use it one day. and theyve been saying that for years. ive contemplated throwing it out without them noticing

 

[and 1 other]

I remember as a kid going into my bag of Halloween candy months after October had ended. The bag was sitting under my bed for all that time. I took out a Tootsie Roll like the one in the image and just bit into it. I noticed that there was a weird crusty texture, so I looked down at it and noticed that there was a sizable hole, with a little maggot inside. It looked like the "crust" was its poop. I smashed the Tootsie Roll and have never eaten one since.

 

[гape]

blue cheese that somehow went more rancid

 

[Trombonista]

my family has a can of escargot in our freezer. it's been in there for more than a decade at this point. my parents wont throw it out because they swear theyre gonna use it one day. and theyve been saying that for years. ive contemplated throwing it out without them noticing

Buy a new one and then toss the old one.

 

[Vingle]

Ate some bad eggs recently, didn't look on the date. Got real bad stomach cramps and vomited regularly for a day. I guess it was food poisoning.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

The Borden Bombs were an amusing anecdote, but food poisoning almost killed me during my first deployment.

After having missed morning chow in the bunkers because of some pissant mortars, breakfast plates were brought to us containing cold eggs, ham, bacon, gravy and biscuits. Normally I would've just grabbed an MRE from the motorpool stash, but some fiend had gone through and stole all the good parts. Starving as I was, I skipped the eggs but ate the rest. I don't think anyone else ate, opting to just go hungry until lunch.

Two days later I was evacuating from both ends simultaneous, and looked like a steaming pile of sweating shit for first formation, so my platoon sergeant sent me to the TMC for sick call.

I vaguely remember walking up the steps & being stopped by a medic before walking in, getting stuck and promptly draining at least two bags of ringer's, then getting loaded into a HMMWV on a stretcher.

About a week later I came to in the theater hospital, with my squad leader standing there. Seems I had straight up vanished & nobody knew exactly where I went, until the hospital called my battalion and told someone to come pick up my rifle. My goddamn company thought at that point I'd fucking died somewhere since I wasn't attached to the rifle.

I spent another week in there before being able to eat & shit solid, and my guts haven't been right since. The docs never told me exactly what the culprit was (or if they did I promptly forgot), but those fucking third-country nationals working in our chow halls were *filthy*. It wouldn't surprise me if they'd roped in a shit-truck driver to spoon that cold food onto our plates.

 

[Dyn]

Once I killed a rabbit that must have been infected with myxomatosis or something because when I opened it the abdominal cavity was full of disgusting bladder-like organs that don't normally exist, full of milky yellow fluid.

I still ate most of it.

 

[Swiss46]

I still ate most of it

How was it?

 

[Dyn]

How was it?

It was fine. I think I made a chasseur.

 

[Dysnomia]

Hm. I used to live in a homeless shelter for about two years. Most of the food was donated by Starbucks, but every now and again we'd get donations from ordinary people. I remember one donation we got of sealed food, like prepackaged sandwiches kinda deal, and we set them up for lunch service. Every single packet was at minimum 6 months out of date, with the oldest being nearly a year old.

I get that homeless shelters aren't popular, but that was a dick move. Half of the residents were sick and a few elderly residents needed to be hospitalized. Pretty dick move.

This is a common problem with donated food. We used to get rancid, rusted cans of Juicy Juice and bloated cans of vegetables from food pantries. I think people donate this stuff thinking "I'm sure they can still use it. After all, they're starving right?".

 

[Freshly Baked Socks]

For those that don't know, organic milk lasts much longer than regular milk. I only really use it for cereal and recipes so this has saved me a lot of pouring milk down the drain.

I only buy organic milk after learning this simple lifehack. Sure, I'm frugal, love buying milk "on sale" ... but after consuming massive amounts of almost spoiled milk in my lifetime - I only put organic milk on my coffee now. I am amazed at how fresh organic milk tastes and how long it stays good before spoiling compared to "regular milk".

Sour poison story: When young I wasn't as tuned in to the smell of spoilage, and went to a cafeteria and had a coke with french fries. Hard to mess up, right? Look at that ketchup dispenser on the counter - it might not have been washed in a year, or ever kept refrigerated - just refilled when empty. I'm demented about refrigerating opened containers of condiments as a result.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Made an expired kung pao noodle bowl once. Didn't realize it was expired until I got it out of the microwave. Ever smelled spoiled kung pao sauce? It's not pleasant. Didn't eat it.

 

[horrorfan89]

once i was so drunk i ate some old pasta that made me puke my guts out. On the plus side it was a great way to sober up

 

[Begemot]

I had spoiled milk only once and I think it colored my opinion of drinking straight milk negatively for the rest of my life. I used to have it quite a bit as a kid but only one bad experience as a teenager is all it takes I suppose.

Rotten or even slightly spoiled beef gets me really bad for some reason. I can taste the grey or discolored meat in only slightly expired steak or hamburger very easily and it never covers up well. At least this got me into the habit of always making sure to buy fresh meat and cook it within a few days of getting it. I rarely have to throw meat out since I'm a bit more cautious about what I buy.

I've had expired beer on more than one occasion. Depending on how cheap and horrible the brand is you may not notice that the six pack you just bought is an entire year out of date. You'll probably feel it though, since you won't only get hungover you'll also be deathly ill for a few days after. Protip: if you find you're dusting off the tops of the cans before you crack them open, maybe check the expiration on them.

Never really had that experience with beer, that sounds utterly horrid.

 

[Carlos Weston Chantor]

This is literally a scam by the refrigerator industry and "spoiled" (aged, probiotic) food is delicious and healthy

 

[KaibaCorp ToeSucker]

I'm very sensitive to expired food. I have no idea how my old friends could eat most of that shit.

I remember one time I had expired apple juice and god it was awful. It tastes fine on the first sip, but then it started getting sour and more apple-cider vinegar like? After I realized it was expired I kept throwing up and I got a really bad headache from it.