Failed Lolcows - Cows you had high hopes for, but who failed to deliver

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Diabeetus

The hyeckin frickyen sweetist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Matthew fucking Davis. I watch his videos all the time just to laugh at how bad they are. His thread died alongside the Entersphere, and he really has not done anything of note since then. Just the same dumb reviews and rants.
 

Jerry_ smith56

The man in black
kiwifarms.net
Matthew fucking Davis. I watch his videos all the time just to laugh at how bad they are. His thread died alongside the Entersphere, and he really has not done anything of note since then. Just the same dumb reviews and rants.
The Entersphere was over hyped and in the end was just a big nothing Burger. There's a difference between a bad reviewer and a lolcow.
 

eldri

oogity boogity boo motherfucker
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I don't know if I'd go as far as to say "failed," because it was pretty lulzy for a couple of months, but I honestly thought we were gonna get more tard cum out of Alex Mauer than we did.

Alex Mauer was my first and my most disappointed. I've since gone on to others and have never looked back.
 

Muh Vagina

If you're reading this, you have a micropenis
kiwifarms.net
Charles/Charlotte Clymer, who trooned out because feminists were fed up with him. He apparently had a thread here, but it died and was locked. Too bad, because the old lady wardrobe and cakey makeup is lolworthy in itself.

EDIT: he has a new thread, so not so failed after all.
 
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Truthboi

The True and Honest Man
kiwifarms.net
Jacob Sockness, A promising lolcow who had a stalker-like crush on Chris Chan. He has a thread on here which quickly soon went to shit when he got on where he turned out to be a typical lolcow and soon began shitting up his own thread for attention.
 

AnOminous

i will eat your fucking soul
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Jacob Sockness, A promising lolcow who had a stalker-like crush on Chris Chan. He has a thread on here which quickly soon went to shit when he got on where he turned out to be a typical lolcow and soon began shitting up his own thread for attention.

That guy sucks, his thread sucks, and he's not funny.
 

Autisimodo

On break.
kiwifarms.net
Jonathan Ross.

Recently he's tried to drum up attention by using a Sock Account, which backfired. Then he made his own knock-off Kiwifarms named "Cherry Frams", which he killed off a day later.

He's more disappointing than he is interesting or entertaining as of late.
 

Alex Krycek

DeagleDadDisciple
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Dan Quinn is seriously one of the better lolcows out there if you watch all of his videos spanning all these years. Some are gone but there was even a video with a dead body in it at one point. Yeah one of his roommates died and he’s ranting and crying and screaming about bed bugs. He went to prison after that and no one is really sure where he is now.
 

Chauncey

kiwifarms.net
Jonathan Ross.

Recently he's tried to drum up attention by using a Sock Account, which backfired. Then he made his own knock-off Kiwifarms named "Cherry Frams", which he killed off a day later.

He's more disappointing than he is interesting or entertaining as of late.
He could easily be one of my favorite lolcows, but he keeps deleting his new content as soon as its uploaded. Wish he would take some punches again, Jim's vid on him is one of my all-time favorites
 

Purpleshells

kiwifarms.net
He did most of his spectacular cow shit before the site was watching him. He's pretty mellow by comparison now, like a dormant volcano.

For a short time I was one of his prominent defenders but later turned on him. That was probably during the height of his drama (2011-2012ish). I don’t think there was a thread on here on him back then tho. Nowadays he doesn’t do much aside from obsessively tweet Tara Strong.
 

andr0id psycho sho(ker

I destroy internet memes with my creepy stare!
kiwifarms.net
I'd say donald buffkin/digimon who shit up this thread for attention. He never got a thread, just a copy pasted ed article in the lolcow wiki
 

Brightsydephil

Aka ThesaurusBoy72
kiwifarms.net
JMAA TV and Caner Akcay "unrelated to each-other"
They're very unpopular and equally entertaining to observe
JMAA TV - Gay Demon Neo Nazi and desperate YouTuber
Caner Akcay - Silly boy cosplayer who openly hates gays but faps to bowsette
 
A

AF 802

Guest
kiwifarms.net
It was more of a Community Watch thread, but the YouTube Poop Commuity & YouChew thread. The site was utter trash consisting of proto-/pol/ocks turned closet pedophiles turned publicly pedophilic SJWs. The site only got shutdown when some troon revealed the staff were grooming them, and now the successor is even shutting down. The thread is a goldmine of the weird fucks these people were.
 

Dentontx

True cousin of Sir Jesus Christ
kiwifarms.net
I always thought Snip Snoop It’s Miloop was going to flame out in some extraordinary chimpage, but she just fizzled completely into a T-fucked sadcase.

Also dare I say I always figured Marjan would well and truly blurst in historic fashion, to the extent that he’d show up in the MSM. I waited across like half a dozen of his own threads/containment threads/loveshy threads and many thousands of comments, and he never again did or said a single thing that cracks me up as much as “All who kill are kings, a rapist is a Christ.” I’ve probably invested more time waiting for him to make with the top-shelf milk I know he’s capable of than any other cow on here, with not much to show for it.
 

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