Failed Lolcows - Cows you had high hopes for, but who failed to deliver

N

NG 070

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Rise of The Brave Tangled Dragons and all its related fuckery

I still maintain that both the implosion of Dashcon and the riots at Ferguson -which happened several weeks apart from each other, if I'm remembering it correctly- signaled both the end of the Superwholock/Brave Tangled Dragons fandom crossover culture and the beginning of the full-tilt social justice warrior culture on Tumblr. Looking at the site pre-Dashcon and post-Ferguson... you'd be hard-pressed to believe it's the same place.
 

TheImportantFart

Breakin' Wind
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Necroing this thread, but this one isn't so much a failed lolcow as a lolcow who never was.

MineCraft Awesome Parodys [sic] was a YouTube channel started in 2016 by 12 year old Hayden McNulty. He uploaded hilariously awful Minecraft-themed parodies of popular songs, the most infamous being this one:


A naive kid uploading terrible song parodies with atrocious MS Paint thumbnails is generally a recipe for disaster and you'd think Hayden would make quite the promising lolcalf with that pedigree, but unfortunately he never rose to any of the bait trolls left him. In fact, he ended up capitalising on the infamy and kept making song parodies, but the latter ones were done ironically. There's even some debate over whether the original ones were ironic or not.

I suppose this is a good case study in how to handle internet blowback, but at the same time, all the foundations for a lolcow are here and I sometimes wonder about what could've been...
 

A Welsh Cake

Sexe Sentipede
kiwifarms.net
Necroing this thread, but this one isn't so much a failed lolcow as a lolcow who never was.

MineCraft Awesome Parodys [sic] was a YouTube channel started in 2016 by 12 year old Hayden McNulty. He uploaded hilariously awful Minecraft-themed parodies of popular songs, the most infamous being this one:


A naive kid uploading terrible song parodies with atrocious MS Paint thumbnails is generally a recipe for disaster and you'd think Hayden would make quite the promising lolcalf with that pedigree, but unfortunately he never rose to any of the bait trolls left him. In fact, he ended up capitalising on the infamy and kept making song parodies, but the latter ones were done ironically. There's even some debate over whether the original ones were ironic or not.

I suppose this is a good case study in how to handle internet blowback, but at the same time, all the foundations for a lolcow are here and I sometimes wonder about what could've been...
He is neither a cow nor does he make me lol anymore. It was funny when earnest, not when it’s in on the joke.
 

Piga Dgrifm

Assigned Hitler At Birth
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Necroing this thread, but this one isn't so much a failed lolcow as a lolcow who never was.

MineCraft Awesome Parodys [sic] was a YouTube channel started in 2016 by 12 year old Hayden McNulty. He uploaded hilariously awful Minecraft-themed parodies of popular songs, the most infamous being this one:


A naive kid uploading terrible song parodies with atrocious MS Paint thumbnails is generally a recipe for disaster and you'd think Hayden would make quite the promising lolcalf with that pedigree, but unfortunately he never rose to any of the bait trolls left him. In fact, he ended up capitalising on the infamy and kept making song parodies, but the latter ones were done ironically. There's even some debate over whether the original ones were ironic or not.

I suppose this is a good case study in how to handle internet blowback, but at the same time, all the foundations for a lolcow are here and I sometimes wonder about what could've been...
My favorite meme of this guy:

 

Piga Dgrifm

Assigned Hitler At Birth
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Been thinking of a cow from a simpler time lately. Anybody remember that dude on dA that drew bizarre, fetishistic pictures of various characters fondling crystals in their freakishly long fingers while laying in hospital beds? He had an obsession with one specific medical disorder. I think he was called Crystals1987 or something. Whatever happened to him?
 

Maxxicus Callahan

kiwifarms.net
George Alexander Yarid aka G.A.Y. He had a terribly cringey public access TV show back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s called the Gorgeous George Show where he used to do dumb ass skits with his co-host and bring on prostitutes who pretended to laugh along to his terrible jokes. He actually thought he was better than Jay Leno and a desirable ladies man so people used to call in to prank call the shit out of him and it was hilarious with all the clips being compiled into compilations and uploaded to ebaums world. He was such a pretentious narcissistic cow, who flew off the handle on his trolls constantly. Sadly his solution was to cut off comments and calls over time and his show lost what little appeal it had without people to fuck with him. He lost multiple lolsuits against the trolls and his house in the process which was pretty funny. Now he lives out of his car last I heard completely washed up with no friends and no family. He had his chance at lolcow fame, also he is from Richmond, Virginia like Chris Chan. I just can’t believe how long his trolls have been fucking with him. I was in computer class in middle school when I started following this, now I’m 30 and those same trolls back then are still fucking with him some of them. The latest thing from Yarid Wars was two months ago. To me he’s pretty much all milked but the fact it’s gone on for this long is pretty wild.
 
Last edited:

cuddle striker

REAL MEN WASH PLATE
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
George Alexander Yarid aka G.A.Y. He had a terribly cringey public access TV show back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s called the Gorgeous George Show. People used to prank call the shit out of him and it was hilarious with all the clips being compiled into compilations and uploaded to ebaums world. He was such a pretentious narcissistic cow, who flew off the handle on his trolls constantly. Sadly his solution was to cut off comments and calls over time and his show lost what little appeal it had without people to fuck with him. He lost multiple lolsuits against the trolls and his house in the process which was pretty funny. Now he lives out of his car completely washed up with no friends and no family. He had his chance at lolcow fame, also he is from Virginia like Chris Chan.
reminds me of Uncle Floyd. Public/local uhf show in NJ and PA from the late 70s to early 90s. Apparently a dick in person in real life, funny in a dick kind of way. The Ramones and a lot of NY bands went on the show.

Not a cow and there's not enough of him online to truly appreciate, I think you had to be there.
 

Super Book

How exciting to punish such a beautiful boy!
kiwifarms.net
Been thinking of a cow from a simpler time lately. Anybody remember that dude on dA that drew bizarre, fetishistic pictures of various characters fondling crystals in their freakishly long fingers while laying in hospital beds? He had an obsession with one specific medical disorder. I think he was called Crystals1987 or something. Whatever happened to him?
iirc he was rumored to be a troll and I think it turned out to be true
 

JuanButNotForgotten

Friendly Mexican Ghost
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
George Alexander Yarid aka G.A.Y. He had a terribly cringey public access TV show back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s called the Gorgeous George Show where he used to do dumb ass skits with his co-host and bring on prostitutes who pretended to laugh along to his terrible jokes. He actually thought he was better than Jay Leno and a desirable ladies man so people used to call in to prank call the shit out of him and it was hilarious with all the clips being compiled into compilations and uploaded to ebaums world. He was such a pretentious narcissistic cow, who flew off the handle on his trolls constantly. Sadly his solution was to cut off comments and calls over time and his show lost what little appeal it had without people to fuck with him. He lost multiple lolsuits against the trolls and his house in the process which was pretty funny. Now he lives out of his car last I heard completely washed up with no friends and no family. He had his chance at lolcow fame, also he is from Richmond, Virginia like Chris Chan. I just can’t believe how long his trolls have been fucking with him. I was in computer class in middle school when I started following this, now I’m 30 and those same trolls back then are still fucking with him some of them. The latest thing from Yarid Wars was two months ago. To me he’s pretty much all milked but the fact it’s gone on for this long is pretty wild.
You know, comparing someone to CWC is beaten to death, but GG reminds me of Chris in so many ways, that I don't even know. It's like if you take Chris and replace all his autism with narcissism, even though Chris is pretty narcissistic as it is. It's also shocking how this guy was doing public access TV for two decades and hasn't improved at all, I really mean it. Even Chris got a little better with his doodles, but this guy - no, not a single bit! I am actually surprised there is no GAY-wiki or something like that.

Also, I've seen people mention that him losing house wasn't so much because of his lolsuits as of his trips to hookers in Vegas.
 

Maxxicus Callahan

kiwifarms.net
Also, I've seen people mention that him losing house wasn't so much because of his lolsuits as of his trips to hookers in Vegas.
How could I forget about Susanne who hocked his ring for crystal meth. I remember when he had his website with his poetry about her. I didn’t know there were others though, blew his inheritance on his love quest for hookers and lost his house to the bank. I don’t know how these hoes put up with his repulsive ass, a jobs a job I guess but I have this feeling he liked the desperate kind with drug problems who he thought he could rescue and take home as their saviour GG the baby maker woooo!
 

JuanButNotForgotten

Friendly Mexican Ghost
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
How could I forget about Susanne who hocked his ring for crystal meth. I remember when he had his website with his poetry about her. I didn’t know there were others though, blew his inheritance on his love quest for hookers and lost his house to the bank. I don’t know how these hoes put up with his repulsive ass, a jobs a job I guess but I have this feeling he liked the desperate kind with drug problems who he thought he could rescue and take home as their saviour GG the baby maker woooo!
And with all that George was a DJ in a gay bar and has strange fixation on "rubbing dongs with your daddy".
 
Last edited:

66andtwothirds

kiwifarms.net
has to be jason blaha who has unfortunately actually become very successful with coaching and no longer gets into beefs with people so doesn't produce "milk" any more. plus he left the insane woman he was with who caused a lot of his problems. to put in perspective, in 2016 this guy had OPL levels of coverage of his day to day life on the fitmisc forum and even got swatted during a gym session. at the time it seemed like the outcome was going to be something really funny and/or tragic. to see him being so boring now is sad.
 
Last edited:

JuanButNotForgotten

Friendly Mexican Ghost
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
he coaches Joe Fazer who is some zoomer with like a million YT followers.
Wait, so he isn't certified coach and just training some youtuber? Smells suspicious, maybe he will laugh at him and make a video about how much he sucks as a coach in the end. Even if not, don't forget that lolcows have incredible ability to burn bridges.
 

Lucas Silva #4903141

kiwifarms.net
Gootecks.
He was claiming the pandemic was over last year and made a video where his voice sounded off, in response to his PogChamp emoji being taken off twitch. He tried to turn against r/kappa for sympathy and got dunked on. The pieces for a wild ride were there, but he has been mostly boring tbh. Not like you can even say he is getting his shit together.
 

Similar threads

Stole $4000 from charity to fund his vanity convention. Spent years failing to sockpuppet back into the fandom. Got evicted for a harem of underage boys kept in his home. Currently impersonating and stalking a far more likable furry.
Replies
153
Views
26K
The Proliferation of Sissy Hypno on Social Media
Replies
80
Views
21K
Top