Fanfiction Horrors -

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Giovanni

A completely legitimate businessman.
kiwifarms.net
There's this writer that I saw on adultfanfiction.org (which is a gold mine of horrible fanfic in general), by the name of JayDee. JayDee writes lots of nightmarish rape/snuff fanfiction. And the hell of it is, this guy HAS some degree of talent - the writing itself is fairly solid - which makes you wonder why the holy fuck they decided to use it for...things like this.

You have been warned.

1. Bart the Ripper
Bart - as in Bart Simpson, eat my shorts - rapes Lisa, dismembers her, kills her, and rapes her again.

Time to fuck. Bart dropped the clippers and stood, pulling Lisa’s hips up with him. Her smashed legs dangled beneath her, and Bart knew from the way she shuddered that the fractured kneecaps were tearing into the bruised flesh of her legs. Bart entered Lisa without warning, consummating the torture with a brutal incestuous rape. He was amazed at how tight she was, and had to really fight to force all of his nine inches inside her, tearing into her cervix, before he came. He didn’t even have time for a second thrust.

Hilarious note at the end, by the way...

JayDee said:
I would like to re-iterate that I have absolutely no sexual interest in the child versions of Bart and Lisa. Hypocritical as this may sound, I find the concept sickening.
Well, golly gee, that's a load off my mind! Guess it's all good, then! :story:

2. You Can Take the Boy Out of the Moisture Farm...
Did you know that, on Tatooine, a brother is honor-bound to take his sister's virginity? Apparently so. So when Luke Skywalker finds out that Leia is his sister, he's delighted to get the chance to finally get to experience this rich cultural tradition himself. For some reason, Leia is slightly less enthusiastic about this idea, but that's okay! Luke just beats the holy hell out of her and does it anyway!

The Princess had been trained long ago, as girls in her exalted position often were, in how to deal with attackers of various types. In the case of a single rapist who forced oral sex, the best way was said to be to chomp off their member, and take advantage of their agony. Leia recalled these words and started to bite down hard.

Luke reacted with a Jedi’s reflexes as she did so, yanking his shaft free from her jaws. There were teeth marks, but she hadn’t broken the skin. Genuine dark rage bubbled within him, echoes of the dark side that had claimed their father. Leia looked up fearfully, mouth open, a strand of drool down hanging from the horner.

Luke was on her in a second, crushing her into the bed. He punched her in the face, smashing her nose, and then followed up with more brutal blows. He knocked her teeth flying and fractured her orbital bone with his merciless punches. Leia screamed and screamed, first for help and for Han and then just wordless pain. The Jedi was beyond feeling his own pain as he skinned his knuckles on Leia’s jaw, beyond feeling her panicked but feeble counter hits.

Blood stung Leia’s eyes, blinding her as she tried to rub them and clean it out. She couldn’t breath through her shattered nose and had to spit teeth and blood to avoid choking on them. Her legs were still off the bed from when she’d been sitting, kicking in the air. She felt Luke’s weight settle above her stomach as he took her firm pale breasts in his hands and wrapped them around his shaft.

...you know what, I was gonna post more examples, but I don't think I can stomach going through much more of them. Search their archives at your own risk.
 

Lord of the Large Pants

Chicks dig giant robots.
kiwifarms.net
There's this writer that I saw on adultfanfiction.org (which is a gold mine of horrible fanfic in general), by the name of JayDee. JayDee writes lots of nightmarish rape/snuff fanfiction. And the hell of it is, this guy HAS some degree of talent - the writing itself is fairly solid - which makes you wonder why the holy fuck they decided to use it for...things like this.

You have been warned.

1. Bart the Ripper
Bart - as in Bart Simpson, eat my shorts - rapes Lisa, dismembers her, kills her, and rapes her again.

Time to fuck. Bart dropped the clippers and stood, pulling Lisa’s hips up with him. Her smashed legs dangled beneath her, and Bart knew from the way she shuddered that the fractured kneecaps were tearing into the bruised flesh of her legs. Bart entered Lisa without warning, consummating the torture with a brutal incestuous rape. He was amazed at how tight she was, and had to really fight to force all of his nine inches inside her, tearing into her cervix, before he came. He didn’t even have time for a second thrust.

Hilarious note at the end, by the way...



Well, golly gee, that's a load off my mind! Guess it's all good, then! :story:

2. You Can Take the Boy Out of the Moisture Farm...
Did you know that, on Tatooine, a brother is honor-bound to take his sister's virginity? Apparently so. So when Luke Skywalker finds out that Leia is his sister, he's delighted to get the chance to finally get to experience this rich cultural tradition himself. For some reason, Leia is slightly less enthusiastic about this idea, but that's okay! Luke just beats the holy hell out of her and does it anyway!

The Princess had been trained long ago, as girls in her exalted position often were, in how to deal with attackers of various types. In the case of a single rapist who forced oral sex, the best way was said to be to chomp off their member, and take advantage of their agony. Leia recalled these words and started to bite down hard.

Luke reacted with a Jedi’s reflexes as she did so, yanking his shaft free from her jaws. There were teeth marks, but she hadn’t broken the skin. Genuine dark rage bubbled within him, echoes of the dark side that had claimed their father. Leia looked up fearfully, mouth open, a strand of drool down hanging from the horner.

Luke was on her in a second, crushing her into the bed. He punched her in the face, smashing her nose, and then followed up with more brutal blows. He knocked her teeth flying and fractured her orbital bone with his merciless punches. Leia screamed and screamed, first for help and for Han and then just wordless pain. The Jedi was beyond feeling his own pain as he skinned his knuckles on Leia’s jaw, beyond feeling her panicked but feeble counter hits.

Blood stung Leia’s eyes, blinding her as she tried to rub them and clean it out. She couldn’t breath through her shattered nose and had to spit teeth and blood to avoid choking on them. Her legs were still off the bed from when she’d been sitting, kicking in the air. She felt Luke’s weight settle above her stomach as he took her firm pale breasts in his hands and wrapped them around his shaft.

...you know what, I was gonna post more examples, but I don't think I can stomach going through much more of them. Search their archives at your own risk.
Goddamn you, I had to check whether this was the same JayDee that writes the obscure but mostly pretty good Captain SNES webcomic.

The good news is, I'm 99% sure it's not. The bad news is, I had to read this shit to check.
 

Kari Kamiya

"I beat her up, so I gave her a cuck-cup."
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
My first exposure to fanfiction in general was about 15 years ago...and it was an incredibly garbage archive of crap.


I would binge on that shit back in the day, because it was fucking terrible and I enjoy trainwrecks. I probably read damn near every story in that archive, and you can count the number of decent stories on one hand. Most are regularly bad...but there are a couple magnificently terrible ones.
Holy fuck, where has this been all my life? I mean, this is truly frightening just how old these stories are, but seeing that list of all of these obscure old anime that somehow got smutty fan fiction (Wild Cardz and Moldiver, really???) blows my mind.
Screen shot 2019-08-04 at 11.52.56 AM.png

3846645482_b03f232f7d_b.jpg

I'm scared...
 

ScamL Likely

IT'S! NOT! EVEN! HOT! OUT! SIDE~!
kiwifarms.net
Believe me when I say that if you are young enough, you will read anything you find. If you don’t believe me, how do you explain YA literature and comics that go on for hundreds of issues making money.
Basically, you grow a quality filter as you age. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.
There are plenty of adults who are just as tasteless as children.
 

SubmarineMan

kiwifarms.net
There are plenty of adults who are just as tasteless as children.
Is that perhaps what made the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (book) series as overrated of a complete pile of shit as it is, by any chance?

Also, am I allowed to make an overused joke about Michael Bay's Transformers yet? Or Avengers 1 and 3 both being on TheTopTens' top 20 of Greatest Movies Of All Time while (fucking) Endgame is also on their top 40?

(cough, or Spongebob and Ren & Stimpy both being on IGN's top 20 of Greatest Animated Series Of All Time while Rocko's Modern Life and Courage The Cowardly Dog are both completely absent from their top 100, cough?)
 
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ScamL Likely

IT'S! NOT! EVEN! HOT! OUT! SIDE~!
kiwifarms.net
Is that perhaps what made the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (book) series as overrated of a complete pile of shit as it is, by any chance?

Also, am I allowed to make an overused joke about Michael Bay's Transformers yet? Or Avengers 1 and 3 both being on TheTopTen's top 20 of Greatest Movies Of All Time while even (fucking) Endgame also made it onto their top 40?
Pop culture as a whole tends to be a wasteland of cheaply manufactured prolefeed. This extends through all age demographics.
 

SubmarineMan

kiwifarms.net
Pop culture as a whole tends to be a wasteland of cheaply manufactured prolefeed. This extends through all age demographics.
To be fair, Avengers 1 and 3 are at least amazingly good for what they are (not quite to The Dark Knight's admittedly overstated extent, but still), and there is also a LOT of legit-great stuff in mainstream pop culture if you know where to look (top-tier Nintendo games, Stanley Kubrick and Ridley Scott classics, Radiohead's OK Computer album, the aforementioned Rocko and Courage when viewed from a writing standpoint, Men In Black before its sequels came along, etc)
 

ScamL Likely

IT'S! NOT! EVEN! HOT! OUT! SIDE~!
kiwifarms.net
To be fair, Avengers 1 and 3 are at least amazingly good for what they are (not quite to The Dark Knight's admittedly overstated extent, but still), and there is also a LOT of legit-great stuff in mainstream pop culture if you know where to look (top-tier Nintendo games, Stanley Kubrick and Ridley Scott classics, Radiohead's OK Computer album, the aforementioned Rocko and Courage when viewed from a writing standpoint, Men In Black before its sequels came along, etc)
There's always an element of subjectivity and there are always exceptions, but the more you need to equivocate in the process of justifying something, the less merit it has.
 
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NARPASSWORD

The furry shemale with the Star Fox avatars
kiwifarms.net
One other thing I forgot to mention about the Courage TCD fanfic that I mentioned earlier is that it is pretentious as fuck, actually to the point of making the original show seem modest about itself by comparison:

View attachment 883113

(Just so that the uninformed have a point of reference here, we're talking about a slightly above-average slapstick cartoon that literally had a fucking classical Renaissance painting of itself as the end screen for its Season 2 episodes)
Is that perhaps what made the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (book) series as overrated of a complete pile of shit as it is, by any chance?

Also, am I allowed to make an overused joke about Michael Bay's Transformers yet? Or Avengers 1 and 3 both being on TheTopTens' top 20 of Greatest Movies Of All Time while (fucking) Endgame is also on their top 40?

(cough, or Spongebob and Ren & Stimpy both being on IGN's top 20 of Greatest Animated Series Of All Time while Rocko's Modern Life and Courage The Cowardly Dog are both completely absent from their top 100, cough?)
Nobody here gives a shit about your tastes in cartoons.
PS, a show referencing a classic painting isn't being "pretentious", it's just making a reference.
 

SubmarineMan

kiwifarms.net
Nobody here gives a shit about your tastes in cartoons.
PS, a show referencing a classic painting isn't being "pretentious", it's just making a reference.
What about the show's massive circlejerk all over the Internet (that the show itself seems to very openly cater/pander to) about it being one of mankind's all-time greatest works of art though? It almost dwarfs that of Ren & Stimpy
 

Archeosaur A. Dromaeosaur

This shit really ruffles my feathers
kiwifarms.net
What about the show's massive circlejerk all over the Internet (that the show itself seems to very openly cater/pander to) about it being one of mankind's all-time greatest works of art though? It almost dwarfs that of Ren & Stimpy
Dude if you don’t like the cartoon, make a singular post about your dislike of it in a relevant place. As is you’re just derailing this thread to whine about people liking something you dislike.

This is a thread for laughing at weird shit, not whining about irrelevant shit.
 

Reynard

Anonymous Vixen Behind a Screen
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What about the show's massive circlejerk all over the Internet (that the show itself seems to very openly cater/pander to) about it being one of mankind's all-time greatest works of art though? It almost dwarfs that of Ren & Stimpy
This isn’t the thread to rant about that shit you fucking exceptional individual.
 

Piga Dgrifm

Where are those good old fashioned values?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What about the show's massive circlejerk all over the Internet (that the show itself seems to very openly cater/pander to) about it being one of mankind's all-time greatest works of art though? It almost dwarfs that of Ren & Stimpy
I'm gonna be honest with you chief, I've seen circlejerking over a lot of shows, but Courage the Cowardly Dog isn't one of them.

Is that perhaps what made the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (book) series as overrated of a complete pile of shit as it is, by any chance?
Why does a random comic book for children set you off like this? Show me on the doll where it touched you.
 
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