Fast Food & Other Restaurant Horrors - Subtle Disgust to Literally Dangerous Mishaps

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Ginger Piglet

Burglar of Jess Phillips MP
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So the Rural Pillockshire Council does the "Rate My place" scheme where fast food, restaurants and other outlets let council health inspectors come in voluntarily and check stuff over, getting an idea of how well they keep, clean and handle food.

Pretty much everyone I go to is a solid 5, including a delightful 'greasy spoon sammich' shop where bread crumbs are usually everywhere (they cut the bread themselves) and there's usually a thin film of grease on every surface and everyone. So it gives you an idea of the rough standards.

But there's one place that looks clean but has a 3. On the surface everything looks clean, looks like it's been dealt with properly.

But you just wonder what they're doing.....

The food hygiene ratings are based as much on paper-pushing as they are on cleaning things. It doesn't matter whether things are gone off or not so long as the box is ticked accordingly.

Here is the criteria used by one council in the South West.

You can be reduced to 1/5 for not having the right paperwork because that will give you 20 black marks and the threshold for 1/5 is either 45+ or at least one category with 20+, even if everything else is spotless and perfect. And "does it smell like the Devil's armpit when you lever open the box" is not a valid system.
 

Dysnomia

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Walked into a small breakfast buffet, somewhere in the American south. Sat down with a friend, got a Coke. Looked down at the floor and what do I see but a cockroach dashing for one of the buffet islands. Before you could say "Raid" I was on my way out the door.

I've seen mice running around in Walmart where the candy was. Rodents love sweets as much as bugs do. Horrifying. I did not buy candy that day.

I understand flies somewhat because when it's hot out they get inside. Gross. But you can't always help it in the summer. As long as it's not an obvious infestation from garbage can breeding. But roaches? No way. I wouldn't eat there either. After finding that fried roach in my fries some years ago I just felt so sick about it.
 

ADN_VIII

Panzer Vor!
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Not really a food horror story but a customer one. I picked up dinner from taco bell a little while ago and got in line behind an obese teal dyed dangerhair somewhere in the 12-14 age range and their mother. Note that I have no idea what sex this person it because the obesity has turned them into a doughball. I've got a book on my phone up to kill time while they order and I distinctly hear the kid order two chalupa supremes and a soda. For those who don't know, a supreme anything at taco bell will have lettuce, tomato, and sour cream. They pay, pick a table, and sit down to wait. I order my food, grab my drink, and do much the same. Their food arrives. I presume that the kid takes a bit. I get my food and take my seat when I hear, "EXCUSE ME THESE CHALUPAS HAVE LETTUCE ON THEM." I look over. Kid is up at the counter arguing with the guy, practically shouting, who took the order that the chalupa supreme doesn't actually come with lettuce.
"I DIDN"T WANT LETTUCE ON THESE."
"You didn't specify that."
"YES I DID"
"I took your order. No you didn't. Here's a fork to scrape the lettuce off."
Kid proceeded to throw away all the food and look at mom to buy more. Mom didn't. Kid left and mom followed, so I got a good laugh with my dinner.
 

D.Angus

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Not really a food horror story but a customer one. I picked up dinner from taco bell a little while ago and got in line behind an obese teal dyed dangerhair somewhere in the 12-14 age range and their mother. Note that I have no idea what sex this person it because the obesity has turned them into a doughball. I've got a book on my phone up to kill time while they order and I distinctly hear the kid order two chalupa supremes and a soda. For those who don't know, a supreme anything at taco bell will have lettuce, tomato, and sour cream. They pay, pick a table, and sit down to wait. I order my food, grab my drink, and do much the same. Their food arrives. I presume that the kid takes a bit. I get my food and take my seat when I hear, "EXCUSE ME THESE CHALUPAS HAVE LETTUCE ON THEM." I look over. Kid is up at the counter arguing with the guy, practically shouting, who took the order that the chalupa supreme doesn't actually come with lettuce.
"I DIDN"T WANT LETTUCE ON THESE."
"You didn't specify that."
"YES I DID"
"I took your order. No you didn't. Here's a fork to scrape the lettuce off."
Kid proceeded to throw away all the food and look at mom to buy more. Mom didn't. Kid left and mom followed, so I got a good laugh with my dinner.
I love people like that.. Order a sandwich and then getting pissed when it has cheese. My favorite from Taco Bell always had to be the parents ordering a Quesadilla and getting pissed that it was too spicy for their kid. Like it's their job (employee) to know it's for a kid and not from the grown ass adult ordering it.
 

Donovan the Man

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People these days have the vast knowledge of the internet in the palm of their hands, there is no excuse not to know what in your fast food meal. Even dumber about that lettuce story is that all taco bell tacos come with lettuce. If you ate there before or I dunno look at the menu above the cashier's head you would see that.
 

AnOminous

Only the rarest and smuggest of Goodmans
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I love people like that.. Order a sandwich and then getting pissed when it has cheese. My favorite from Taco Bell always had to be the parents ordering a Quesadilla and getting pissed that it was too spicy for their kid. Like it's their job (employee) to know it's for a kid and not from the grown ass adult ordering it.

When I was a kid I'd be the one bitching it wasn't hot enough. I sometimes even just carry around Tabasco with me.
 

Donovan the Man

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When I was a kid I'd be the one bitching it wasn't hot enough. I sometimes even just carry around Tabasco with me.
Little Timmy needs to eat his spicy quesadilla, like half the world's cuisine is spicy. If you grow up and don't like mapo tofu (the real stuff made with sichuan peppercorns) or doro wat may you eat Aunt Linda's mayo based jello salad for every meal. Barring if you have like stomach ulcers or something, you have my condolences.
 

D.Angus

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Dec 29, 2014
Who even dumps a meal over lettuce? Lettuce barely has any taste.

People can be wusses about it because one pathetic nibble of lettuce can turn brown or pale yellow, as if all produce in the world isn't known to do this regardless of quality or environmental conditions.

Back at BK we had this old lady come in and bitch if she didn't get the best tomato and green lettuce on her stupid whoppie jr. It had to be made a certain way, I don't fully remember it, but I know it had mustard on it so we knew it was her. If the tomato was shit, she'd call up and talk the poor manager's ear of for nearly half an hour.
 

vertexwindi

That's for employing me for eight years!
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Back at BK we had this old lady come in and bitch if she didn't get the best tomato and green lettuce on her stupid whoppie jr. It had to be made a certain way, I don't fully remember it, but I know it had mustard on it so we knew it was her. If the tomato was shit, she'd call up and talk the poor manager's ear of for nearly half an hour.
lol tomatoes are fucking tasteless too. Who fucking cares as long as it's not expired, you're bitching about green and red water.
 

Tootsie Bear

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Jun 24, 2014
When it comes to picky people wanting their hamburgers to be so unique that it would take a master chef hours to make it just right, then why couldn't they do it all at home. At least they would have 100% control how their food turned out in the end. And you wouldn't have to hear them bitching if something didn't turn out right!
 

Piga Dgrifm

Assigned Hitler At Birth
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When I worked at a fast food taco place, there was this bitch who always called ahead anywhere between one to three hours in advance to place her order for some tacos and some tortilla chips. Since no one knew exactly when she'd be picking up the order, she would either get to complain it was cold, or complain it wasn't ready fast enough when she arrived.
 

Donovan the Man

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Who even dumps a meal over lettuce? Lettuce barely has any taste.
Extremely picky eaters, not like someone who hates the taste of raw onions, I'm talking like people who won't eat any produce and has plain chicken nuggets and buttered pasta everyday. People who claim iceberg lettuce has a taste and ruins every thing it touches even though it's just crunchy water. Even better is that some of these people claim to be "super tasters" but MacDonald's BBQ sauce and ketchup don't overwhelm their taste buds as much as lettuce does. Some claim water tastes gross even though their town's water is literally coming from the poland springs or other such really good water sources.
 

vertexwindi

That's for employing me for eight years!
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Extremely picky eaters, not like someone who hates the taste of raw onions, I'm talking like people who won't eat any produce and has plain chicken nuggets and buttered pasta everyday. People who claim iceberg lettuce has a taste and ruins every thing it touches even though it's just crunchy water. Even better is that some of these people claim to be "super tasters" but MacDonald's BBQ sauce and ketchup don't overwhelm their taste buds as much as lettuce does. Some claim water tastes gross even though their town's water is literally coming from the poland springs or other such really good water sources.
I know people like that and they're literally autistic.

If you can't stand the taste of crunchy water off yourself.
 

neverendingmidi

it just goes on and on and on and on...
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Oct 14, 2015
I have picked pieces of lettuce out of taco bell, but it was black and slimey. Just their regular food is enough of a food-poisoning roulette, I didn’t feel the need to stack the deck.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

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I got to see a massive black woman attempt to weaponize her angry black woman powers against a family-owned Mexican restaurant a few years ago.
It's a place several towns away so I don't go too often, but they have bomb ass nachos and the people are always super nice. I was there with my folks and this woman used her magic lawsuit bitch powers to see the shine of a recently mopped floor on one side of the room. I wasn't facing her, but my dad described this landwhale of a woman as doing some kind of fake stumbly thing before emitting a loud "OHHH MAH GAAAAAD." She proceeded to harangue the (very nice) owner about how they did NOT have a wet floor sign and she just SLIPPED in their ESTABLISHMENT and she would SUE their fucking asses! The cops ended up showing up, and the owner's wife was practically in tears. My dad ended up making a statement to the cops since he saw the whole charade. The officer questioned her very heavily and she eventually crumbled and meekly admitted that she did not infact need the ambulance she was hollering for earlier. The owners thanked my dad and mentioned this isn't the first time they've been targeted like this. Once someone had accused them of having rocks in their beans because they had a chipped tooth and thought a lawsuit might help. Some people, man.
 
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Dysnomia

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Little Timmy needs to eat his spicy quesadilla, like half the world's cuisine is spicy. If you grow up and don't like mapo tofu (the real stuff made with sichuan peppercorns) or doro wat may you eat Aunt Linda's mayo based jello salad for every meal. Barring if you have like stomach ulcers or something, you have my condolences.

I've eaten spicy food since I was little. I think a lot of parents end up making sure Little Timmy Doesn't get a even speck of black pepper on his mashed potatoes and the kid ends up with a bland palate.

I got to see a massive black woman attempt to weaponize her angry black woman powers against a family-owned Mexican restaurant a few years ago.
It's a place several towns away so I don't go too often, but they have bomb ass nachos and the people are always super nice. I was there with my folks and this woman used her magic lawsuit bitch powers to see the shine of a recently mopped floor on one side of the room. I wasn't facing her, but my dad described this landwhale of a woman as doing some kind of fake stumbly thing before emitting a loud "OHHH MAH GAAAAAD." She proceeded to harangue the (very nice) owner about how they did NOT have a wet floor sign and she just SLIPPED in their ESTABLISHMENT and she would SUE their fucking asses! The cops ended up showing up, and the owner's wife was practically in tears. My dad ended up making a statement to the cops since he saw the whole charade. The officer questioned her very heavily and she eventually crumbled and meekly admitted that she did not infact need the ambulance she was hollering for earlier. The owners thanked my dad and mentioned this isn't the first time they've been targeted like this. Once someone had accused them of having rocks in their beans because they had a chipped tooth and thought a lawsuit might help. Some people, man.

Anything for a buck. There are people that do this repeatedly. Now I've fallen in stores before and never tried to sue. Because I wasn't hurt. I wonder if she ever tried it again. Some people never learn.