Fast Food & Other Restaurant Horrors - Subtle Disgust to Literally Dangerous Mishaps

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Kaiser Wilhelm's Ghost

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Joined
Nov 12, 2018
One of my favorite places to go before work is this very narrow but super long cafe that I like to refer to as the Cafe of Broken Dreams.

The foods so so, it's neither great nor terrible and it's edible and cheap, however the rest of the cafe is the real winner, its mired in mediocrity with a decor that hasn't been updated since the early 90s and was a cheap diner style fit when it was put in.

The staff are this Armenian family who all obviously hate each other, but since it's the family business work together in shifts.

I actually take people there for breakfast, because otherwise they don't believe it exists.

Aside from that there is a bar I go to occasionally with a povo friend from work, because he's a fucking tightwad and they have super cheap shit on tap.

With that place it's best to sit at the back, because it's in such a shitty area, one of the local hobos got into the habit of coming in to "buy a coffee" and drinking the leg ends from the pint glasses.

It's was always amusing to see them get turfed out by locals, and it got so bad now they have a permanent door man now because customers started getting fed up of having beers snatched out their hands, started picking said people up and throwing them out the door glass and all.

Only other horror story is this Chinese restaurant I went to with my brother on his recommendation. Decor was nice. Food was alright, it's western style Chinese, but the bathroom.

After dinner I decide to take a piss, and go to the bathroom. Noticing that the wall look weird in front of the urinal, I got some of the hand wipe towel and tried the wall. I kid you not, it was so permeated with grease, that it was sweating fat.

I can only surmise that the other side of the wall must have been the wok station/extraction fan area.
 

Milk Mage

Oh what a Sperg I am. Oh what a Sperg I am.
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Joined
Jul 4, 2017
Went to Rosarito a few years back with the fam. Decided to stop by a mariscos (seafood) resturant. Decent food, great liquor, luchador wrestling on the TV, it was a pretty nice place.

Next morning we all came down with SEVERE food poisoning. Vomiting, cold sweats, the whole nine yards. Couldn't even rinse my mouth out after, because Mexican tap water is basically lethal.

Aside from that, it was actually a pretty nice trip.
 

JosephStalin

Vozhd
True & Honest Fan
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Jan 14, 2018
Many years ago attended boss' retirement luncheon, at a major U.S. Air Force base's officers' club. Taco salad was the dish served. For about half of us, including a general, the taco salad was "off". Some ran from one end, some from both, on top of feeling on the brink of death. Since my wife and kids were visiting relatives out of town I suffered in solitary "splendor".

Recovered enough to go to the associated retirement party the next afternoon, where we shared our food poisoning tales. Never ate Mexican food at that officers' club again. Matter of fact, the only Mexican food I will eat is the large, soft tacos my wife makes.

Not a horror story, just interesting, to me, at least. There's one particular buffet in a nearby town. Call themselves a seafood buffet, but many other foods are served - Chinese, Mexican, sushi, American foods. We go there a couple of times a year, went Friday night. Place was packed, primarily with Hispanic families. The food was being sucked down at a prodigious rate. Took two or three trips to the buffet to get everything you wanted. Crowd scene everywhere you went, but people were nice and helped each other, no problems. Place seats several hundred people. Food's okay, a lot of Sysco/US Foods products, generic restaurant stuff. Bet that place goes through a full semi trailer of food at least once a week. Place has a mint chocolate-chip ice cream I like. That station has no bowls, just scoops and cones. Fuck that. Went and got a large soup cup and filled it to the max. Good way to end the meal. Now I'm good until maybe the holidays.
 

ADN_VIII

Panzer Vor!
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Joined
Dec 13, 2016
Hoo boy have I got a good one.


Applebee's is not strictly fast food for a lot of reasons but it's fast enough and cheap enough to count.


I have a cousin by marriage that's one of those "I went to boot camp and cleaned latrines at some shithole base in Nebraska so that makes me a vet and you have to kiss the ground I walk on" people. Needless to say I do most anything in my power to not be near him. On Saturday afternoon he shows up at my work to take me out to dinner because he won a few grand from a scratcher or something. After waiting three hours for my shift to finish, we go to Applebee's.

Not the cheaper but better family run burger joint a half mile up the road or the dirt cheap but amazing Irish pub across the street from Applebee's. It had to be Applebee's because, and I quote, "they appreciate my service and give a discount" as though none of the other places in town would do the same if asked. My dad spent 30 years in the service and saw combat in the Gulf and Afghanistan. Every place in town gives a discount for military if asked. Cousin is that much of a dumbass.

He orders some burger. I stuck to appetizers and booze partly to help deal with him but also to help deal with an entire day of my Pakistani boss breathing down my neck.

Once he's done he pays the bill and offers to give me a lift home. I accept because it's 85 degrees at 9 pm. About half way to my place (about a mile) he pulls over with this look of "I'm about to shit my whole outfit" on his face. He opens his mouth and proceeds to projectile vomit onto the windshield and dash. This continues for about five minutes until he's heaving mucus and swearing.

Once he's finished, he decides to stay the night at my place to hopefully feel better. It took him until two in the afternoon to leave to go harass the waiters at Applebee's for his money back.
 

AlephOne2Many

the late nightmare special
True & Honest Fan
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Jan 5, 2015
811522
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
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Sep 3, 2014
Pretty sure that one's gonna flop. My guess is that they borrowed the Taco Bell idea of fusing snacks with their food given they still have stores that fuse the two. The difference is a Dorritos taco can work. The Frito burrito is mediocre but they have 'em cheap and fritos are mild enough their cheap beef blends over their taste.

The cheetos flavor does not mesh with chicken most likely, though I've had chicken so stringy there that you won't notice any change in texture.
 

ProfDongs

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Joined
Jul 13, 2018
When I worked at a Red Lobster these was an older lady server who grabbed a cold lobster tail from a window, stuffed it into her little server pouch and crawled into the dry storage room to eat it. No napkin or anything, just straight into the pocket. The image of her sliding it into her pocket and looking like a ghoul stuck with me for some reason. I'm pretty sure it was one of the pockets for holding their wallet/change, notepad, or debit machine and god only knows how clean that would be.

There was also a really weird time when I was cleaning the expiditor area for closing (middleman for kitchen and servers basically) and a Lemon fell from on top of the heater where we stored the biscuits. To my knowledge I was the only one in the kitchen at the time, no one was in the back where we kept the produce, no one on line, no one in the office and there was absolutely no reason to have a lemon up there since the top of the machine is near the ceiling. It really seemed to come out of nowhere, falling about 10 feet to ground in front of me. It was legitimately the only time something spooky and unexplained happened around me. It wasn't scary or anything because it was a lemon but I still wonder where it actually came from.
 

Freddy Freaker

Poz my freak hole daddy
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Joined
Nov 8, 2018
Nothing too noteworthy recently so let's go back in time about 15 years or so. I was at TGI Fridays with my parents and they had this quesadilla as part of some limited time entree menu. I got it and it was pretty good. Until i took a bite and felt something get stuck in my teeth. Like it was pushing my teeth apart. So i go to the bathroom to pick it out and it was a fucking huge ass staple.

We got all our food free
 

Jerri's Kid

Moist as a snack cake.
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Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Went to Rosarito a few years back with the fam. Decided to stop by a mariscos (seafood) resturant. Decent food, great liquor, luchador wrestling on the TV, it was a pretty nice place.

Next morning we all came down with SEVERE food poisoning. Vomiting, cold sweats, the whole nine yards. Couldn't even rinse my mouth out after, because Mexican tap water is basically lethal.

Aside from that, it was actually a pretty nice trip.

I had really good and cheap lobster in Rosarito that didn't make me sick but yeah, you can't always tell if you're at a good place. This isn't a food poisoning story, but it's funny. We went to this breakfast place in Rosarito and this woman stood up and let out this incredibly loud fart that echoed throughout the room. Everybody laughed.
 

Milk Mage

Oh what a Sperg I am. Oh what a Sperg I am.
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Joined
Jul 4, 2017
I had really good and cheap lobster in Rosarito that didn't make me sick but yeah, you can't always tell if you're at a good place. This isn't a food poisoning story, but it's funny. We went to this breakfast place in Rosarito and this woman stood up and let out this incredibly loud fart that echoed throughout the room. Everybody laughed.
:story: That's hilarious. Maybe she drank the tap water?
But yeah, Rosarito has some great seafood if you know where to look. I personally go to El Timon de Vince's whenever I'm in town.
 

Water-T

THE SMRT TON
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Aug 3, 2017
I have a friend who said that he swore off Burger King forever after he went to one in Georgia staffed entirely by college kids, and one of them decided to top one of his sandwiches with... um... "special sauce".
That reminds me of an urban legend I kept hearing in middle school about a guy with AIDS who contaminated the mayo at Burger King with his sperm.
 

Water-T

THE SMRT TON
True & Honest Fan
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Aug 3, 2017
. I've never seen a human evacuate purple McDonald's food before, or ever again, but I can say with certainty that I'll never step foot in one again.
That's what he gets for sucking off Grimace in the bathroom.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
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Sep 3, 2014
Oh yeah, might as well relate this one; happened to me a while ago:

Burger King Chicken Sandwich 2: Filled with the Ooze
So the folks decide instead of dinner to get some fast food, mainly due to going out for hours to get stuff together and not wanting to cook. They ultimately decide to get the new chicken sandwiches from Burger King, which were a two for the price of one deal at the time.

Now I have some history with their sandwich; the worst sandwich I ever ate was from Burger King actually. It was a cold near freezing lump of sour flesh on dry and cold buns for some hideous reason, and I very quickly spat it out due to not wanting to die from whatever disease was inside it. So I have had a bad sandwich before, though I would be fair and give it a go; it's been a few years since that bullshit happened. That was a mistake.

These things had a big wad of what may have been lard, possibly mayo on them which soaked the entire puck of processed meat into a soggy horror. It was hot and gooey and the flesh was horridly gritty, very much not what you'd want. I gave both sandwiches a try, boggled at what the fuck it was. It wasn't the worst sandwich I ate, but probably in the top five.

I obviously had something else after that nightmare.