So you won't waste any rounds on them? Let me suggest you use them as actual human shields. That much mass should soak up 5.56 rounds pretty well if you need to make some quick moves.When the Shit Hits the Fan, I will be totally okay with these weak and fragile specimens of humanity starving to death in the streets because they lack the resilience and fortitude needed to face reality and not be reduced to an emotional wreck.
Edited to add:
I know this is old now, but this is one of the funniest things I've seen this year, and I want to thank you again.