Fat Guy Across America / FGAA / Eric Hites and Angie Hites (nee Atterbury) - In which a morbidly obese scam artist crowd funded a year+ vacation.

kcbbq

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.
kiwifarms.net
Is that through the country without traffic lights?
There are some insanely fast rides in Manhattan. Stops do have an effect, but bikes manage urban settings as well as cars in some cases.

Bike messengers provide a popular service in big cities for a reason. Bikes are great for covering ground in urban traffic as long as the car drivers aren't drunk or texting.
 

Salubrious

Feelin' Healthy
kiwifarms.net
This part confuses me, if he's supposed to go west then why did he go Southeast
Keep in mind that the first ride three years ago he went from NYC to Philly and then drove/flew/IDGAF south to Florida.

Eric probably convinced himself that there were more hotels/food/flat roads if he started in his current place than where he was last week.

Or he could just be stalling for time.

Edit: Yesterday, it took Eric 7 hours and 35 minutes to ride for 1 hour.

And it wasn't a case of he forgot to stop his watch. He rode 0.4 miles in 19 minutes, then took a break for an hour, then rode 0.4 miles in 5 minutes, then 35 minute break, then 0.3 miles in 6 minutes, hour+ break, 0.3 miles, 2 hour break, et cetera.

His MAX speed on the ride was 9.6 mph. 9.6 should be his average speed at worst.

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Cactus Wings

Coughing for Cash
kiwifarms.net
Been pending on his Strava for 5-6 days. I think he either caught onto KF or just his 'haters' in general, despite 700 people following him.
In fact, he'll often talk about how he needs "simple carbs" in the form of any number of bad, unhealthy foods because he "needs energy" to ride the bike. In his mind his bad eating isn't just excused, it's necessary.
I've been through a 1400 kcal diet for 6-8 months, and the first 2 weeks I had no light in my day but the pathetic no-fat chocolate bar at the end of the day. Once those 2 weeks had passed I didn't even buy them anymore. It's meant to be a comfort, not a constant reward once you're used to it. Hell, now that I'm somewhat getting in shape cycling on a road bike, I almost forget to drink in the baking sun. It's obvious but no fucking way he enjoys biking if he actively looks forward to eating bars. Also, it's roughly one per 60-90 minutes you're out. Has he even been cycling for that long?

And on the whole 'bike as a prop' thing. Yeah, I just put my cycling computer and mini pump on my own. It feels good to kit it out, but with things that matter. Hell, one of few cosmetic choices is the color of your handlebar tape. What I've seen of his bike and how he treats it, or rather lack of, isn't all that typical cyclist behavior? People pose and take pics of their steed constantly. For his identity piece he sure doesn't share it often.
 

Salubrious

Feelin' Healthy
kiwifarms.net
And on the whole 'bike as a prop' thing. Yeah, I just put my cycling computer and mini pump on my own. It feels good to kit it out, but with things that matter. Hell, one of few cosmetic choices is the color of your handlebar tape. What I've seen of his bike and how he treats it, or rather lack of, isn't all that typical cyclist behavior? People pose and take pics of their steed constantly. For his identity piece he sure doesn't share it often.
Eric isn't important enough for me to comb through a 2500 page GOMI thread, but in the past there have been pictures where he's shown his bike "damaged", where the damage could have only been done by a human. I think the one big instance I can remember is damage to the side of his wheel/rim that he claimed was caused by the roads, except the roads would have damaged the edge of the wheel (the part of the wheel that actually makes contact with the road when the wheel spins), not the side of the wheel. Something like that; it was 3 years ago.

There was also a time where Angie claimed on Dr. Phil that a "hater" loosened her car tires so they came off going 60 mph, but when she showed a picture of the tire there was no damage to the rim. Something like that.
 

kcbbq

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.
kiwifarms.net
Keep in mind that the first ride three years ago he went from NYC to Philly and then drove/flew/IDGAF south to Florida.

Eric probably convinced himself that there were more hotels/food/flat roads if he started in his current place than where he was last week.

Or he could just be stalling for time.

Edit: Yesterday, it took Eric 7 hours and 35 minutes to ride for 1 hour.

And it wasn't a case of he forgot to stop his watch. He rode 0.4 miles in 19 minutes, then took a break for an hour, then rode 0.4 miles in 5 minutes, then 35 minute break, then 0.3 miles in 6 minutes, hour+ break, 0.3 miles, 2 hour break, et cetera.

His MAX speed on the ride was 9.6 mph. 9.6 should be his average speed at worst.

View attachment 746854
Suicide by bike is a new one to me. Those numbers are fine for first time fatties on bikes. There's no shame in it in that context. In this context it is amazing.

I sympathize with the idea that he won't work hard if he doesn't get rid of the safety nets, but this isn't that. It would be if someone took his credit cards away.

Eric isn't important enough for me to comb through a 2500 page GOMI thread, but in the past there have been pictures where he's shown his bike "damaged", where the damage could have only been done by a human. I think the one big instance I can remember is damage to the side of his wheel/rim that he claimed was caused by the roads, except the roads would have damaged the edge of the wheel (the part of the wheel that actually makes contact with the road when the wheel spins), not the side of the wheel. Something like that; it was 3 years ago.

There was also a time where Angie claimed on Dr. Phil that a "hater" loosened her car tires so they came off going 60 mph, but when she showed a picture of the tire there was no damage to the rim. Something like that.
His wheels aren't strong enough to take his weight through harsh bumps. Wheels flex in crazy ways, even with normal sized riders. Hitting a rock could totally cave in a sidewall. I've got a chunk out of a carbon fiber wheel's brake track - luckily in a spot that doesn't compromise the wheel - that is hard to wrap your brain around how it could happen.

Hit a rock, Ben over the rim onto the rock, ruined wheel.

There's a series of pictures of Mark Cavendish on the sprint finish of a Tour de France stage where he flexes his front wheel like that, iirc someone runs over the rim bending it to a 90 degree angle. He unweights the wheel, it snaps back (carbon fiber is amazing) and he wins the sprint at 45+mph. The wheel was toast, but it's the same kind of thing.

It's going to happen a few times until he gets down to 300 or less because his wheels are not ones designed for his bulk. At 500lbs (even 550 if you aren't a clod) you can get away with wheels built for tandem bikes. Above that you just have to accept that wheels are going to fail.

Not even the main North American industrial bike maker, Worksman Bikes, makes anything rated for his weight.

Earnest Gagnon started cyclocross racing at 530-ish pounds. He's a less pathetic Boogie who actually got up off his ass and put himself out there. The pictures of ruined wheel hubs on his Facebook are incredible. It's hard to understand just how the damage could happen.

Gagnon's not fast on a bike, but he's way faster than Hites. I forgive a lot of his insecurities because it's hard to pull on spandex even when you're not huge, it's not flattering on anyone. Starting a race is psychologically hard the first time. He was doing real races on a real amateur racing team.
 
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Peepee

Trolling is stupid.
kiwifarms.net
in the past there have been pictures where he's shown his bike "damaged", where the damage could have only been done by a human.
There was also a time where Angie claimed on Dr. Phil that a "hater" loosened her car tires so they came off going 60 mph, but when she showed a picture of the tire there was no damage to the rim. Something like that.
"Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to stupidity" is a two-way street here. Angie and Eric were stupid for assuming their car problems were troll sabotage, but there's no reason for us to resort to conspiratorial thinking for all of Eric's various failures.

As @kcbbq outlined, bicycles are not designed to carry 500+ pound riders. If there's anything surprising about Eric's mechanical breakdowns, it's that they're not more frequent.
 

Salubrious

Feelin' Healthy
kiwifarms.net
I found the picture I was talking about on his Facebook page from 12/18/15. It's a broken front derailleur.

Eric's Facebook Post said:
Not making excuses. Derailleur broke, can only shift one way. Bike shop closest to me won't be open til after Christmas, maybe. Ordering a new one but riding ahead and not shifting with front gears. Gonna keep rolling. Slam me if you want, but I'm still out here and I won't stop. I love you guys and I'll make it. You want to hear what happens to me so I post it. So, some of the people yelling "excuses" all the time can take a hike. The rest of you, I thank you so much for your support it really picks me up. yeah, I have lots of setbacks, but they won't happen forever. I dreaded posting about this because I wasn't looking forward to the abuse about it, but after talking to my wife, I decided to post and ignore the idiots. I watched a Walk in the woods a few weeks ago, you should watch it, there is a hiker that is like a lot of the trolls, and it made me laugh pretty hard. So today I thought back to that and it made feel a little better.
I agree that Eric is so obese that he could break the derailleur just riding it, but there was something about the way it broke that people determined it had to have been either due to intentional carelessness or as a continuing stall tactic (he was stalling a lot during this time).

I'm a noob when it comes to bike mechanics, so I can't make that determination. Here is the raw picture that Eric posted:

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Coleslaw

kiwifarms.net
There are some insanely fast rides in Manhattan. Stops do have an effect, but bikes manage urban settings as well as cars in some cases.

Bike messengers provide a popular service in big cities for a reason. Bikes are great for covering ground in urban traffic as long as the car drivers aren't drunk or texting.
tfw you're Eric Hites
It took 2 hours for me to ride 10 miles.
 

Strelok

Perfectly Cromulent Poster
kiwifarms.net
Maybe he should just do a Scoot Across America instead. I'm sure the mere act of balacing his massive girth and staying standing for long periods would be enough to burn a ton of calories. But then I shudder to think of that poor little electric motor. Probably would burn out after 5 min.

Realtalk though those things go scary fast even for obese people, so he'd probably brain himself on the pavement. I've hit like 20mph on the shitty phone rental ones during my commute, so I can't even imagine how fast one without a govornor would go downhill with a 600lb man.
 
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StrawberryDouche

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
In 2015, Eric signed a contract with Larry Landsman. He's the "producer" Eric is always talking about. He got Eric the NYT article and the additional press in the beginning, long before The Lard rested for 3 years. There were legit plans for a documentary of his ride and all that jazz. Then Miss Piggy came trotting in as soon as the GoFundMe started percolating and it turned into a giant aggressive scam rather than a low key scam.

I hate to sound like a faggot, but I can't say where I got this from...

Eric's contract with Landsman expires in August this year. His desperate, poorly planned restart has everything to do with getting Larry to renew it, and nothing to do with his parents or his wife issuing ultimatums.

IF he makes it back to Dallas under his own steam, Landsman agreed to renew his contract and start giving him support in the form of cash advances and someone to assist in documenting the remainder of the ride.

If Eric fails to get to Dallas, Landsman dumps him for good, and he loses the chance at fame and fortune and the life on Easy Street he so desperately wants and thinks he's entitled to.

And that's what I know.
 

Hungerdunger

kiwifarms.net
I found the picture I was talking about on his Facebook page from 12/18/15. It's a broken front derailleur.



I agree that Eric is so obese that he could break the derailleur just riding it, but there was something about the way it broke that people determined it had to have been either due to intentional carelessness or as a continuing stall tactic (he was stalling a lot during this time).

I'm a noob when it comes to bike mechanics, so I can't make that determination. Here is the raw picture that Eric posted:

View attachment 747175
In my experience as a bike mechanic, that's an odd break, but not necessarily suspicious. Bad shifting technique is always a possibility. Altus is towards the cheap end of bike parts, yeah it can break easily enough. I wouldn't go touring on it. Not at any weight. I have no idea how much mechanical skill/sympathy our boy has, mind. My instincts tell me "not much".

Gotta be honest, I'm mainly here because there's a bike involved, and a great deal is being asked of it, even when it's hardly moving.

Edit: fixed typo you all kindly ignored for many hours.
 
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kcbbq

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.
kiwifarms.net
Ow! Mah derailleur!
All I can think of is he fell, dropped the bike against something, or had it leaning and down it went onto the drive side. The scuff on the tire backs that up.

Never lean a bike against anything with the possibility of it falling. Even a Walmart level bike like that. It's still $10-15 for that front derailleur, and at least that if you need someone to install it, and the front's the cheapest drive train component. Even if it's a junker you should respect your tools if you want them to do their job.

I want to live in a world where he pulls his head out of his ass and surprises everyone - pulling that trailer with that bike shaped object all the way to the Pacific. That'd be awesome, but he's a jackass. I would fly to Palm Springs to meet him when he got there and ride up US74 over the mountain, past all of the crotch rockets racing Ferarris down the mountain with him. I probably wouldn't be alone. :optimistic::optimistic::optimistic::optimistic::optimistic::optimistic::optimistic:
 

toad_has_autism

Sperger Watchdog
kiwifarms.net
He's now begging for money, after stating he wasn't going to beg for money. Of course, while at the $119 a night Quality Inn suites in Palatka.

I'm sure you are wondering why I am asking for a little help financially right now when I had planned to not crowdfund in just use tshirt sales and Patreon to fund this trip.
Well, I thought I planned well, once I got here everything fell apart everything that could co wrong did. That was my fault, my planning was and is at fault. I'm listening now to a few experienced advisers from both supporter camp and what I would call the hater camp. That was the best way to explain that no offence intended.
Sure maybe things would be different if my laptop was working and my videos where going up as planned my patreon may have bloomed and more miles would have made it happen. All results again of my bad planning. I do take full responsibility for that and I am truly sorry.
I do think I am finally finding my feet out here and things will start going a bit smoother for me. I can only do my best. But yes, I do need your help a bit until I get patreon working and more miles that may drive tshirt sales.
So if you can help with a little to keep me going for repairs, food, etc until I get things moving I would be very grateful. Below is a link you can help.
Or you can send through Facebook payments.
http://www.fatguyacrossamerica.com/support

The care bears are giving him shit for it also.

You asked for money - let me tell you why I’m not giving and when I would give.

What I see is a guy who is incredibly adept at making excuses. And for those of us who have been successful and goal oriented in our private and personal lives, we see a poor opportunity to support success. Money follows success and doesn’t jump start success (that’s all you) - it follows incremental success. When you can’t even find the personal discipline to get up early and ride early to beat the heat, when you make a giant thing out of riding over a bridge, when you set your lugging a mind boggling large trailer full of stuff you don’t need, to those of us who might give, we dont see someone who has the necessary commitment to stop making excuses and to actually get it done. So the wallet stays closed.

I’m not playing the “fanboy” or “hater” game, I’m just telling you why I’m not giving now nor have in the past. Having raised a lot of money for charity, I can tell you that this is going to be an impediment for you in fundraising in general. So you might want to give that some serious thought if you want to make this happen. Success starts with you and you can get people to support you incremental success but you can’t get them to give to the sorta maybe promise of possible success down the road from someone who has no demonstrable track record of success.

So there is the straight talk from my wallet and me. I look forward to seeing you figure this out, get some real success under your belt, and demonstrating real personal discipline that gives me and other potential supporters some sense that this actually has some decent potential for success.

If you were me, what I’d do is go home. Get some serious counseling about personal responsibility and identifying your excuse generating behaviors. I’d get to work on weight loss under close medical supervision and lose a major amount of weight to demonstrate that “you’re in it to win it”, I’d organize sponsorships and get the right equipment to get it done. And then I’d make it my mission to demonstrate personal accountability, no excuse making and go with the idea of being a true inspiration to others. That’s how I’d do it, and I’d get it done. I’m not sure is another way, but I’m open to the possibility.

Anyhow, that’s why I’m not giving

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First: stop calling people who are offering critical advice “haters.” It doesn’t create a good positive vibe if you know what I mean.
Second, St. Augustine to Santa Barbara is 2700 miles. If you make 10 miles a day (which is NOT your current rate) it will take 270 days. Are you ready for that?
Third: If you are really going to do this, you need to get major sponsorships. 1) A bike sponsorship with a good bike (very strong and very light weight), not one off the shelf at Dick’s. And forget the trailer. You already weigh 450 lbs, you don’t need a single pound more. 2) A weight loss consultant sponsorship, someone who is willing to commit major effort to your physical wellness. 3)Some sort of media sponsorship, not some DYI Patreon thing. 4) Finally, good logistical support. Folks who really can help you with day-to-day life. This is NO VACATION, it is a JOB.
We want you to succeed, and more importantly, we want you to survive and live. All the best Fat Guy!

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I admire this frank and honest statement, albeit a little late in coming. I feel we need to be careful about labelling people offering their honest advise as Haters .... some of these individuals who have either been banned or had their comments deleted may have also been inclined to contribute to this effort at some stage but are now gone for good. It’s a Bad start but lets see All comments we need a balanced warts and all picture of what is happening. I have every intention to contribute but I’d like to see results ...... I admire your statement I would like to see ALL opinions / advice ..... yes delete genuinely rude comments

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It’s not the broken laptop that’s causing you not to get money. I think it’s really the lack of miles that you’re putting in each day needs to really increase. 4 miles a day and taking all day to get it done. Taking two or three days off in between each riding day. You’re not gonna lose weight that way.If you did that every day and increased a few miles every day every week and started putting in some really good miles people might start to support you. Staying in hotels every night is way too expensive. You have a new lighter tent you said you were going to camp. Just follow through and do what you say you’re going to do. Many people told you about the mistakes you were making before you left. Including me. That’s in the past deal with what’s going on. You can do it.

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Sell the laptop. YOU DONT NEED IT. Use that money plus the money you’ve saved in the past year for this & pay for it. It’s not expensive to sleep in a tent in someone’s yard-it’s free. You’ll only need money for food & drink & the occasional laundromat. You can spend $10 per day & do just fine. If it’s 100 day trip, you should have at least that in your savings as you prepared for the trip.

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I really tried to be supportive, but this is the second year I have followed you and nothing seems to have changed. You had time to plan this all out, know what the trouble spots were and PLAN. I am just curious why your trips need to set out from Florida? Why did you not regularly ride from your home daily to build up and be ready for such an undertaking. I wish you all the luck in the world, BUT go home and work all your problems out.....I can not afford to send you money....

19 days, 32.6 miles ridden overall or about 1.6 miles a day.
10 days no riding, 9 miles riding
Averaging around 3.8mph when moving, about 1 mph total including breaks on strava.
He also needs 2 more 20,000mah battery packs because one is not enough for him. Please report him for scamming donate.


5/13/19 - 0 miles, busy getting trailer hitched fixed again, and again, and again... found a couple to scam money and services from who is now paying to fix his trailer
5/12/19 - 6.5 miles, rode across a 40 foot high bridged, stayed at Comfort Inn suites in Palatka, fully supported sag without his trailer from a couple he is scamming from now
5/11/19 - 3.2 miles, stayed at hotel, paid for by couple he is now scamming
5/10/19 - 0 miles, stayed in hotel
5/9/19 - 6.2 miles, complained of no sleep, stayed in hotel
5/8/19 - 3.9 miles, slept on bench, harassed by cops
5/7/19 - 3.3 miles, slept on bench, so he claims
5/6/19 - 0 miles, hotel near St. Augustine
5/5/19 - 4.4 miles, stays in hotel on I-95
5/4/19 - 0 miles, to fix the trailer
5/3/19 - 2.4 miles, claims trailer hitch keeps breaking
5/2/19 - 0 miles
5/1/19 - 0 miles
4/30/19 - 0 miles, says he needs two more days to send home gear, so a total of 4 days needed
4/29/19 - 0 miles
4/28/19 - 0 miles, stays he needs two days to send home gear
4/27/19 - 2.7 miles, around St. Augustine stayed at hotel
4/26 - 0 miles, gets someone to drive him 30 miles south to St. Augustine
4/25/19 - 0 miles, Jacksonville hotel, says trailer is broke. Gets thrown out of gas station for panhandling, finally gets money for hotel
4/24/19 - arrives in Jacksonville, finds hotel to stay

Looks like Eric Hites just conned that elderly couple out of a couple more nights at the $119 Quality Inn suites in Palatka. Now his excuse is he needs the parts to repair his laptop to come in the mail so he can generate income from this youtube videos and can't produce those videos without a laptop. So he's been able to con them into fixing his trailer, fixing his bicycle, spending multiple nights in a hotel, and now this.

Sam Crooks laptop is needed for my video, no escaping that also need it to maintain my tshirt site. I've already got the part to fix it coming from home in a few days, but to sell it would not bring in much, its 8 years old or so
Some more Eric autism funnies

Now think about this, what am I doing everyday now even if.its not a ride day. I am moving, doing things I'm active. Im.getting sun, up during the day. Changes are being made my routine. I get stronger every.day. how can this be a.bad thing?
Responses..

Fat Guy Across America That’s exactly what you should’ve been doing for the last three years in Danville. Then maybe would have been in the physical condition to do this. With all due respect, you can barely walk across the room or do a few minutes on the treadmill without getting winded.

You might want to do this, but you’re not physically capable to do this. Plus you do not have the money, supplies, bike, etc. necessary.

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Why can't this bike across America be done from Indiana where, as other posters indicate, you'd have life's amenities and still do the miles? Demonstrate your local progress in a U.S. Map, then when you've done those miles and are looking and feeling great set off for California and ride the real trails back to the start.

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Fat Guy Across America Dude, "getting up during the day" is not a fitness goal, and I don't know why you had to go to Florida to achieve it. Does the sun not come up back home too? Can you not do this there for free?

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Another zero for our 550 pound hero as he is busy working on getting his sun by the pool at the hotel that couple he suckered a few days ago. Would have been just cheaper for that couple to buy him a new trailer for his bike. Still using the excuse he needs parts for his laptop before he can move on so he can do youtube videos (why not just use your cellphone or GoPro fatty?)

5/14/19 - 0 miles, sunbathing at hotel, now claims he needs a few days for the parts for his laptop.
5/13/19 - 0 miles, busy getting trailer hitched fixed again, and again, and again... found a couple to scam money and services from who is now paying to fix his trailer
5/12/19 - 6.5 miles, rode across a 40 foot high bridge, stayed at Comfort Inn suites in Palatka, fully supported sag without his trailer from a couple he is scamming from now
5/11/19 - 3.2 miles, stayed at hotel, paid for by couple he is now scamming
5/10/19 - 0 miles, stayed in hotel
5/9/19 - 6.2 miles, complained of no sleep, stayed in hotel
5/8/19 - 3.9 miles, slept on bench, harassed by cops
5/7/19 - 3.3 miles, slept on bench, so he claims
5/6/19 - 0 miles, hotel near St. Augustine
5/5/19 - 4.4 miles, stays in hotel on I-95
5/4/19 - 0 miles, to fix the trailer
5/3/19 - 2.4 miles, claims trailer hitch keeps breaking
5/2/19 - 0 miles
5/1/19 - 0 miles
4/30/19 - 0 miles, says he needs two more days to send home gear, so a total of 4 days needed
4/29/19 - 0 miles
4/28/19 - 0 miles, stays he needs two days to send home gear
4/27/19 - 2.7 miles, around St. Augustine stayed at hotel
4/26 - 0 miles, gets someone to drive him 30 miles south to St. Augustine
4/25/19 - 0 miles, Jacksonville hotel, says trailer is broke. Gets thrown out of gas station for panhandling, finally gets money for hotel
4/24/19 - arrives in Jacksonville, finds hotel to stay
 
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