Favorite and Least Favorite Types of Lolcows - Tell us yours!

[Reynard]

There’s a lot of different types and tiers of lolcowdom. What are your favorites?

I’m honestly a bit partial to the DA sperg category. The fact that they’re rarely harmful and disturbingly childish is just funny to me. There’s a lot of furries that also tend to be rather entertaining, as well as bronies.

Horrorcows and half of the politispergs tend to just make me mad, however, so I try to avoid them unless it’s got something to pique my interest.

 

[The Fifth Waltz]

I think horrorcows interest me, can't believe there's people out there like that. My least favourite are the SJW types as they've gone stale.

 

[Coconut Gun]

Skitzocows are a personal favorite. I like how someone can, on the surface, appear to be a normal person and have normal conversations, but if you get them going on one of their topics they're actually nuttier than a Planters factory.

Least favorite are the ones that drag others into their stupidity, like the Schofields.

 

[Sylvie Paula Paula]

While horrorcows interest me, I just feel bad for cases like Jaxon Strong and the Hartley Hooligans; parents who are trying to m.ilk their kids' horrible health. Same with the cows who hurt children and animals, and are just all around awful human beings.

Spoonies are probably my favourite type of lolcow, but they frustrate me as well. I also enjoy SJWs for their extremely backwards logic, even though it's like being forced to eat the same meal every single day. They never cease to amaze, though.

 

[Education Lottery]

I do love most any creativity-based cow, especially webcomic authors and youtubers. Sometimes the creator isn't even that big of a cow and is more of a pasture/cow magnet, so you find some even bigger cows among their fanbase.

I've even wanted to talk about some people because, while the person themselves is relatively fine, their majority fanbase is the real cow. I've refrained because it's a harder and higher maintenance approach to take that would lose steam quickly.

I'm beginning to dislike the Art/Careercow hybrids because so many of them turn out to be some form of sexual predator. They're still trainwreck-tier fascinating to watch on their own, but it's painful to see their base try to jusify their rapey / babyfucker idols and keep them propped up.

 

[Night Terror]

i like horrorcows and skitzocows a lot, because i enjoy seeing just how bad it can possibly get
im also partial to female cows because im a raging misogynist
i tend to dislike extremely smug cows because they get on my nerves

 

[The Fool]

I like lolcows with children because I enjoy seeing children suffer

 

[scared sheep]

Favorite types: ones that say funny things or act (harmlessly) outrageous. For me, drama is fun, but if there isn't much to laugh at, it becomes tiring. Cows that make strange art, make stupid videos, odd tweets... that gives me something to enjoy. Ridiculousness > drama.

Least favorite: actually harmful cows. It's just distressing. My one exception is Todokaras. They were my first cow and their thread just suddenly ramps up to like 11 that it is enjoyable, in a disbelief kind of way.

 

[H4nzn0]

I like Dramacows because they make me laugh the most.

I fucking hate lolcows that...

• Abuse their kids (I don't get how that's even funny, they deserve the dox)
  
• Are actual terrorists (I don't like terrorists.)
• Are one of those fans of "vore" (It's fucking gross.)
• Are described as "Horrorcow" (There's a shit ton of nope on this one)

 

[Patamong]

Favorites: Cows who can constantly cause lulzworthy shitstorms, MovieBob and Channel Awesome come to mind. Second favorite are the delusional, often autistic artists who draw or write hilariously bad stuff and think it's some kind of unironic masterpiece such as Neo Anderson, benthelooney, Sophie LaBelle and even OPL.

Least favorite: Pedocows. The one exception is James Terry Mitchell because he's almost MovieBob levels of completely lacking any sense of self-awareness which I find funny, but otherwise pedoforks just make me sick to my stomach.

 

[pozilei]

I like political cows (be it SJWs, anti-SJWs, alt-right, whatever) - that kind of shit will probably never get boring to me.

Hate cows that have kids because it's too stark of a reminder that their shit has real life consequences at times.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Favorite: Careercows. Something about the combination of delusion and unprofessionalism gets me every time.

Least favorite: Cows that actively do harm to others with little to no repercussions.

 

[Reynard]

A lot of you seem to say horrorcows are interesting, and I’ll have to agree. They’re best observed in moderation, though.

I like Dramacows because they make me laugh the most.

I fucking hate lolcows that...

• Abuse their kids (I don't get how that's even funny, they deserve the dox)
  
• Are actual terrorists (I don't like terrorists.)
• Are one of those fans of "vore" (It's fucking gross.)
• Are described as "Horrorcow" (There's a shit ton of nope on this one)

I’ll agree on all but the third one. People’s absurd and gross fetishes honestly don’t bother me unless they’re harmful to someone in real life, they take it too seriously, or they shove it down my throat.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

My favorite type of lolcows are the kind that have an unwarranted sense of self-importance and/or snooty elitism about them, and then totally lose their minds when people on the internet (trolls) fail to treat them with the respect that they feel they deserve.

My least favorite are the ones who cause other people suffering due to their exceptional behavior.

 

[Bazaine]

Unquestionably my favourite genre of lolcows is those who're in the "pre-trolling CWC" vein: people who produce very curious, idiosyncratic art or writing or whatever other output, and you can put your armchair-psychologist hat on and try to work out what strange fixations are at the root of it all. Of course the answer is invariably "they're autistic and obsess about things in the autistic fashion" but I find the endlessly varied ways this sort of mindset can creatively manifest itself to be really interesting. Leading the current pack I think is the unimprovably original Bryce Cherry, with honourable mentions to the now rather neglected Murray Root (probably my favourite thread on the forums, and very probably the highest-quality in its ratio of content to pages) and personal fave Dozerfleet.

Bottom of the pile are all the political ones, especially those on the sorta social-justice/rat-king side: I feel these people are mostly fairly interchangeable (especially the ones who don't go outside of Twitter), and their threads tend to have (for me, anyway) this rather stern, un-fun quality from how the mockery constantly diverts into earnest criticisms of their politics. Tim Whitbeck is hilarious though, bless him.

 

[Dr. Kaufman]

I tend to like all manners of cows, but I try to treat them differently depending on whether or not they're benign or toxic. Generally, I like to talk about benign cows more, as things are more light-hearted there.

Doug Walker for example, is good to make fun of, but is more of a useful idiot than anything else. A more obscure lolcow, MrGSTAR321 is great for his sperg outs at video games, and A-Logs over random Mortal Kombat characters, but is generally a nice guy who treats his audience well. With them, I think harmless memes and laughter is the best course.

Then you get the toxic fuckwads who treat people like shit and think they can get away with it, and to me, it feels more like poetic justice to mess with them, depending on their actions. Destiny is a good example of this, and is well deserving of having his malice thrown back in his face ten-fold.

Obviously people are going to differ on what constitutes a lolcow, or even a benign or toxic lolcow, but the good thing about the farms is that we don't step on each other's toes too much. If someone likes Sargon for example, they don't have to post in Sargon's thread or even acknowledge it. But if they dislike Sargon, they can post in it all they want.

 

[Truthboi]

I hate cows that are the SJW type ( with some exceptions like Movieblob) or bloggers cause they both bore me as well as people who are just stupid on forums cause there is a high possibility they are faking it or downright creepier in real life.

I love cows who throw fits over stupid shit like Movieblob and CWC. I also love cows who cause huge shitstorms like Channel Awesome

 

[Dr. Tremolo]

I'm not fond of many careercows because I don't really consider them lolcows in the first place. I dunno, maybe I'm just too old school, to me lolcows are individual batshit insane weirdos, it's not the same if it's a person with a career or a following that just happens to be shitty.

 

[Cactus Wings]

Those who whine more than I. I say some real dumb shit just to vent at times, but usually queue it for later posting so I grow tired of seeing what I wrote and delete it prematurely.

Then there's all those monkeys with 50k followers who just spurt the dumbest shit (not political, just minor annoyances) and have people go "yass queen". I like seeing people be vulnerable and petty. It's more reassuring than "My day was great!".

idk, social media cows? Do they have a name?

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Artcows are great. One of my drawing teachers once said that he much prefers bad art to mediocre art and I really agree with that. Bad art is hilariously awesome and so are the people who make it. People, usually girls, who get really fixated on fictional characters are fun too. Disneyfan01, WogglebugLover, and that Jiminy Cricket chick are all favorites. I really liked that older lady that was obsessed with this really specific French king and claimed she could communicate with his spirit and had astral mind-sex with him. She dropped off the radar a while ago and is by far the cow I miss the most.
Tumblrinas and SJWs don't interest me so much because they don't produce interesting content as much as general stupidity. I find myself getting too mad at them and I don't see the point in following a cow that gets you legitimatly angry. Lolcows should be fun and provide levity.