Favorite Chris call? -
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The Father's Call, some of the ABL calls, and when Chris tried to impersonate Ian while talking to Kacey.
The rest are either too boring (the other Kacey calls), too weenish (almost all prank calls) or too cringeworthy (Julay Reveals Herself, that I unpleasantly listened to without knowing how crazy it would get.)
The rest are either too boring (the other Kacey calls), too weenish (almost all prank calls) or too cringeworthy (Julay Reveals Herself, that I unpleasantly listened to without knowing how crazy it would get.)
butt in trouble
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Father Call hands down. Mainly because whenever someone starts to say something Chris doesn't want to hear he runs away. This time he had to listen and you can tell he hates every single minute of it. Chris' half assed attempts to defend himself against Matthews berating insults are truly classic.
There are a lot of underlying things about this call I love. Chris is happy to show respect to males as long as they give him what he wants. Once Matthew made it clear he wasn't going to give Chris his blessing Chris starting acting childish again. Chris absolutely despises the idea of someone having authority over him. Chris seems to not be able to make up his mind as to whether or not his internet girlfriend were real. Also Chris has no idea what kind of impression it makes on a former Marine that he wants to be a house husband.
I always skip over the Kacey parts though. Her voice is more annoying than Chris'.
Favorite Lines:
"I EVEN MOWED THE LAWN!"
"OH COME ON!"
"Stuff...candy...don't...I STUFF VEGETABLE DOWN MY THROAT!"
"Why do you sigh so much?"
There are a lot of underlying things about this call I love. Chris is happy to show respect to males as long as they give him what he wants. Once Matthew made it clear he wasn't going to give Chris his blessing Chris starting acting childish again. Chris absolutely despises the idea of someone having authority over him. Chris seems to not be able to make up his mind as to whether or not his internet girlfriend were real. Also Chris has no idea what kind of impression it makes on a former Marine that he wants to be a house husband.
I always skip over the Kacey parts though. Her voice is more annoying than Chris'.
Favorite Lines:
"I EVEN MOWED THE LAWN!"
"OH COME ON!"
"Stuff...candy...don't...I STUFF VEGETABLE DOWN MY THROAT!"
"Why do you sigh so much?"
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The ABL calls. "Chris. CHRIS. CHRIS!!!!"
There's some great shit in the other Kacey calls, it's just hard to tell one call from the other. Like:
Chris: And then like you know- And then the fourth and fifth questions are about my, uh, penis. Number four being about like you know, whether it should be level, or- or- Or, you know, if bent is normal. Or if like you know, if there's a way of straightening it- Of leveling it out. And then the second question is about like you know, getting a prescription to a penis extension medication pill... That sort of thing.
Kacey: [Awkward pause] Okay.
Chris: Yep. [Another awkward pause, as Chris prepares to ask what he's always wanted to ask] Ahh... Okay, I'll just go ahead and get it out of the way - How BIG was Chris's penis?
Kacey: WHAT??!? What??
That's gold there, Jerry, gold.
I can't say how many times, on a restless night, I've put on the Father Call and just drifted off to sleep. It's surprisingly therapeutic.
The Alec call where Chris pretends to be Barb.
Chris: No, you misunderstand me. I am not a bully.
Alec: Oh, oh you're not? Death threats, that's not-
Chris: I am not a bully!
Alec: Oh, oh no, no, of course not. Hacking into my computer, breaking into my house... Bullies don't do that, do they? [Chris tries to get in a word edgewise, but fails] I guess technically that's true, bullies don't do that, hardened criminals do things like that. Which is, you know, worse than a bully. You are a troll, though. That's for certain.
Chris: I am not a troll!
Alec: Oh, bullshit. Bullshit.
Chris: Although I did... Although I will apologize...
Alec: Ever since Asperchu appeared you've being doing nothing but trying to shut me down. Just like the trolls that try to shut you down.
Chris: [Mumbles something]
Alec: But you know, but the great Christian Weston Chandler, he's perfect, you know. Nobody can... Can attack him or parody him, but if someone else does something that he doesn't like, doesn't matter if it has nothing to do with him... There's gonna be hell to pay. You wanna hack my website, hack my X-Box account, steal some dating game I don't even have... I don't need, you know, dating sims by the way... And destroy my console. That's not the work of a bully or a troll at all, is it?
Chris: I-I said that the idea was in my head, I never said I would actually to do it.
Alec: Your idea was in your comic, you put it out there for everyone to read. It-it wasn't just in your head. And hey, I thought, I thought that, uh, comics were real. Comics are just as real as real people, right? So, if you draw it on paper, then it must be the same thing as wanting to actually act on it in real life, right? Isn't that how that works? You made all of your characters slander me.
Chris: Uh, excuse me a moment. Yes? [Chris walks away from the phone and does a horrible impression of his mother] Hey! Hey Christian, listen. I need you to go clean up kitty's poo in the kitchen. Oh, okay mom, I'll take care of it. And let the kitty out, would ya? Sure, I'll be right out there. [Chris comes back to the phone]Uh, yeah, my mom's telling me I've gotta go clean up kitty's poo, I've gotta go, so uh... Is there a number I can call you back at? So I can talk to you later?
Alec: Oh, oh you're not? Death threats, that's not-
Chris: I am not a bully!
Alec: Oh, oh no, no, of course not. Hacking into my computer, breaking into my house... Bullies don't do that, do they? [Chris tries to get in a word edgewise, but fails] I guess technically that's true, bullies don't do that, hardened criminals do things like that. Which is, you know, worse than a bully. You are a troll, though. That's for certain.
Chris: I am not a troll!
Alec: Oh, bullshit. Bullshit.
Chris: Although I did... Although I will apologize...
Alec: Ever since Asperchu appeared you've being doing nothing but trying to shut me down. Just like the trolls that try to shut you down.
Chris: [Mumbles something]
Alec: But you know, but the great Christian Weston Chandler, he's perfect, you know. Nobody can... Can attack him or parody him, but if someone else does something that he doesn't like, doesn't matter if it has nothing to do with him... There's gonna be hell to pay. You wanna hack my website, hack my X-Box account, steal some dating game I don't even have... I don't need, you know, dating sims by the way... And destroy my console. That's not the work of a bully or a troll at all, is it?
Chris: I-I said that the idea was in my head, I never said I would actually to do it.
Alec: Your idea was in your comic, you put it out there for everyone to read. It-it wasn't just in your head. And hey, I thought, I thought that, uh, comics were real. Comics are just as real as real people, right? So, if you draw it on paper, then it must be the same thing as wanting to actually act on it in real life, right? Isn't that how that works? You made all of your characters slander me.
Chris: Uh, excuse me a moment. Yes? [Chris walks away from the phone and does a horrible impression of his mother] Hey! Hey Christian, listen. I need you to go clean up kitty's poo in the kitchen. Oh, okay mom, I'll take care of it. And let the kitty out, would ya? Sure, I'll be right out there. [Chris comes back to the phone]Uh, yeah, my mom's telling me I've gotta go clean up kitty's poo, I've gotta go, so uh... Is there a number I can call you back at? So I can talk to you later?
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I like the father call,
My wife likes the ABL calls,
We spent one nice warm morning sitting on a deck in the warm sun listening to the ABL calls.
Now if I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do (cat litter) or she asks me to do something i do not want to do (folding laundry)
we do the chris sigh...
Safe to say we have a twisted marriage
My wife likes the ABL calls,
We spent one nice warm morning sitting on a deck in the warm sun listening to the ABL calls.
Now if I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do (cat litter) or she asks me to do something i do not want to do (folding laundry)
we do the chris sigh...
Safe to say we have a twisted marriage
With all respect to ABL, whose calls were very entertaining, I am going with the father call as well. What makes it good to me is it was with a guy who "didn't know" Chris and was interviewing him about everything. It makes it a complete stand alone summary of Christory.
I have done that as well, whatever that may say about me.
father call was the best. especially when chris was all like "OH COME ON!" and the father was like "come on? do you know who you're talking to?"
and then he crossed the line by calling chris naive!
also when chris was talking about being trolled on the internet and matthew was like "WHO GIVES A SHIT?"
ABL calls are also great. esp. call 2 when chris believes that cartoons are reality. not saying that's a dumb thing to believe, but yeah, it is.
and then he crossed the line by calling chris naive!
also when chris was talking about being trolled on the internet and matthew was like "WHO GIVES A SHIT?"
ABL calls are also great. esp. call 2 when chris believes that cartoons are reality. not saying that's a dumb thing to believe, but yeah, it is.
I'M BATMAN. 
Father Call. Almost every sentence is gold.
A few of the Kacey calls. I don't know which in particular, but the one about Liquid's penis, the "job interview" and when Chris thought the trolls or some hacker was an elementary school student and admitted he would get fooled by a kid were pretty good.
Julie Reveals herself I've listened to and use as background noise for other stuff and I know it's usually frowned upon but I have a soft spot for it.
A few of the Kacey calls. I don't know which in particular, but the one about Liquid's penis, the "job interview" and when Chris thought the trolls or some hacker was an elementary school student and admitted he would get fooled by a kid were pretty good.
Julie Reveals herself I've listened to and use as background noise for other stuff and I know it's usually frowned upon but I have a soft spot for it.
I like the father call,
My wife likes the ABL calls,
We spent one nice warm morning sitting on a deck in the warm sun listening to the ABL calls.
Now if I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do (cat litter) or she asks me to do something i do not want to do (folding laundry)
we do the chris sigh...
Safe to say we have a twisted marriage
and they say romance is dead. 
The Matthew call was definitely solid. And so were the Alec calls. And of course, I'll always love the Lars call.
Personally, I don't know if I have a favorite. I enjoy them all separately, for all of their individual hilarious moments. They're like wines, to me, I savor them, y'know?
Personally, I don't know if I have a favorite. I enjoy them all separately, for all of their individual hilarious moments. They're like wines, to me, I savor them, y'know?
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