Favorite Deagle Nation Quotes -

[JON CENA]

The entire Deagle Nation saga has produced some of the most amazing out of context quotes I've ever seen, and run the gambit from quirky("I'm using my wolf spirit to sniff out crimes") to absolute insanity.("I DON'T WANT TO BE A 3D SEX DICK IN THE WHITE HOUSE") I just thought we should share our favorite Deagle Nation quotable moments, I'll start with my favorites from each of the main three.

Jace: "CROWDSOURCING A PAGAN WARLORD TO SEND GOOD VIBES TO MY DIRECTION I HAVE BEEN AWAKE 11.3 HOURS SINCE SATAN SKYPED MY WOLF SOUL #FUELTHEFIGHT"

Tyce: "FAG DAD CUT TH POWOR N LOCKD ME IN DA CRIBBCUZ I WAS JACKEN OFF N SNIFFIJN PAINT THINNR #WOWWBAGDADMORELIKEFAGDAD #THEBEASTHASBEENUNLEASHED"

Eli: "Judge Judy is like a tree, because if you hit her with an axe, she'll fall down."

 

[AnchuentProphecy]

A lot of the things the members of Deagle Nation just make me think "did he really just say that?" My favorite has to be the time that Jace mentions that he does not have a virgin ass.

Edit: Honorable mention goes to the time Jace said "butthole griefing" on twitter after Team Gamerfood leaked the photo of the toothbrush in Jace's ass.

Also the whole secret mom livestream was full of memorable quotes that shocked me like "stinky pussy fat cunt" and referring to Johnny Cash as "Johnny Faggot."

 

[tehpope]

"JOHN CENA HAS A MOVIE CALLED THE MARINE. YOU CAN'T MAKE THAT MOVIE AND LIE ABOUT BEING A MARINE. THAT'S ILLEGAL IN THE WWE MOM!"

"I'm watching his dick like a fucking hawk, and the moment that there's a gay scandal, I'll be on top of him."

 

[fokkertism]

"Wow thanks Tony for getting arrested and totalling the fucking Race War Van, now I'm stuck here with no way to get to Ferguson!" / "Retard broke the car down in the middle of traffic and then was arrested for being a bitch"

 

[Broseph Stalin]

The entirety of this clip. (Provided JewTube doesn't fuck me over and remembers that I'm playing from 1:15:49) The main highlight being "I'M NOT HOMOKAZEXUAL!!!"

 

[Lachance]

Pretty much every line from the intervention Jace held for Tyce is amazing.

"That's not a birth certificate that's a McDonald's receipt."

 

[Amo Bishop Roden]

Pretty much every line from the intervention Jace held for Tyce is amazing.

"That's not a birth certificate that's a McDonald's receipt."

"I DON'T HAVE A LAZY EYE! YOU HAVE A LAZY SOUL! YOU HAVE A LAZY WORK ETHIC!"

 

[TheProdigalStunna]

Pretty much every line from the intervention Jace held for Tyce is amazing.

"That's not a birth certificate that's a McDonald's receipt."

It's kind of embarrassing how many times I've watched this video.

My favorite lines are probably "You never broke out of Juvie, your dad bailed you out." "That's the same thing."

Oh, and "anarchists don't fuck wheelchair speds and push them downstairs."

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

I think my favorite quote would have to be from the Furgizone stream. At some point, Tyce mentions he's got a spell book that he will study once he learns how to read. Later on, the end of Tyce's interlude "loop" includes a clip with "Hacked by DeagleNation" superimposed over it with poorly-edited guys shooting skeletons. Tyce takes it down and starts chimping out, and at one point screams "AS SOON AS I LEARN HOW TO READ I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH LIGHTNING AND FIRE!"

I can't remember the last time I lost my shit that hard, I laughed so much it started to hurt.

EDIT: I'll try to find the clip some time tomorrow.

 

[Amo Bishop Roden]

"SATAN IS SKYPING MY WOLF SOUL HELP CALL 911"

 

[MerriedManJr]

My top 5. Jace has such a unique grasp of the English langage.
1: "He is an EXTREMELY dangerous, EXTREMELY Jewish, individual!"
2: "Oh yeah! It's that kind of party, motherfucker! The kind where John Cena murders my dad!"
3: "I don't believe in jacking off. Ok. Well, I do believe in jacking off. Press one if jacking off is a human right."
4: "Butane is a plant. You can't outlaw a plant."
5: "I didn't realize she was the EMPEROR OF RAPE!"

 

[Broder Daniel]

GAY ASSASSINATION ATTTEMPT ON MY SOUUUUUUL

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Here's my favorite tweet from each of them:

 

[Danzou]

Yeah, she's ho'in out for Jesus, yo. And she's sluttin' on the cross.

 

[Killbot 2000]

Pretty much every line from the intervention Jace held for Tyce is amazing.

"That's not a birth certificate that's a McDonald's receipt."

I gotta agree, this video is a goldmine of awesome quotes, I just can't decide :0
Scratch that, "YOU HAVE A LAZY SOUL!" *dramatic pointing*

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

"they say that one bullet can change the course of destiny... well, I guess they were right"

 

[geewizz]

"Maybe if I was born with boobs and a vagina, and Brianna still had a penis and didn’t have boobs and a vagina, then the news media would be writing articles about how I’m an opressed victim who is Targeted by an online Serial Killer." - Wupocalypse Manifesto.

 

[buttsbuttsbutts]

I think my favorite from Tyce is #bagdadmorelikefagdad

 

[Skeletor]

I'M THE FUCKING COMMANDER!

(anyone got the .gif of this?)

 

[Konstantinos]

"You can't pretend to be a marine, Mom! That's illegal in the WWE!"

Either that, or:

"Guns and anime are our only defense against the lies!"