Favorite Dsp lie/phrase/retcon? -

BabygotACKACKACK

I told you, to buy, the figure!
kiwifarms.net
I know the pigroach is the creature of 10,000 lies, he loves to retcon everything from his birth to what he did 30 seconds ago. He also has quite the way of saying shit so exceptional you can’t wonder if he has a bit of the tism

What’s your favorite lie(twitch loves me and my streams), favorite phrase he’s spewed (khet agrees with me) or retcon so wild you can smell the bullshit(pigshit if we’re being honest) from a mile away?

Hands down I gotta say:

“Why would I go back to Twitch? when twitch is a business model based off of begging.”
 

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BabygotACKACKACK

I told you, to buy, the figure!
kiwifarms.net
I'm going to go with this classic. Anything involving how much he owes. Everyone except those under pignosis knows he's lying but it's one great autistic mystery of how much Phil really owes
Damn that’s a good one. There’s times where Phil slips up and makes it seem like he’s not that bad off (not rolling in money but enough to get by) and there’s times where he’s so desperate it’s almost junky looking for a fix levels of begging.

My guess is he’s just money hungry and he’s quick to spend all money. So anything new he wants he’ll just beg for while all his work stuff the paypigs will provide him with like games,credits, etc...
 
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BabygotACKACKACK

I told you, to buy, the figure!
kiwifarms.net
Every single time he talks about how much he loves his job and/or how good his life is. Mostly because he almost invariably tips his hand seconds later by talking about how penniless he is.
Everytime
I hear him say “I love my job” is followed by non stop yawning, boredom and his calling his fans mohrans. Hell he loves it so much he closed out the Zelda stream today in a record 60 seconds didn’t bother to say thank you or goodbye to his paypigs

My favorite is the Old Phil/New Phil meme.

It feels like every stream he talks about how much he has evolved and is not the same Phil.

He has changed but for the worse.
It goes hand in hand with the good old “I’m a mature adult” he really has to hammer it in, talking about how only losers have game waifus while going full clown mode. The duality of pigroach
 
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Slimy Time

Read 'em and weep
kiwifarms.net
The "my parents are ill, might die before I see them" being retconned into "I got married to his plastic horse I knew for a year" and his "big, game-changing surprise" being the reveal that he has a cat, and had it for months.

A classic was the retcon of his Blip ban for his Dead Space play-through and his roleplaying as a Nazi wiping out the Jews (Necromorphs) to "I was banned/reported because someone was jealous of my numbers".
 

Near

Perpetrator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Probably the four different retcons he did of wanting to slap the 11-year old in VRchat. There were so many versions of it in so little time, you'd have to be a completely lobotomized person to not notice something's not quite right. Went from literally saying "Good, i'm finally away from this annoying little bitch of a child who i would have slapped in real life" to "Oh my god, the kids' parents should have slapped the kid for acting so immature!".
 

BabygotACKACKACK

I told you, to buy, the figure!
kiwifarms.net
The "my parents are ill, might die before I see them" being retconned into "I got married to his plastic horse I knew for a year" and his "big, game-changing surprise" being the reveal that he has a cat, and had it for months.

A classic was the retcon of his Blip ban for his Dead Space play-through and his roleplaying as a Nazi wiping out the Jews (Necromorphs) to "I was banned/reported because someone was jealous of my numbers".
During his racist jokes are ok rant i like how he says “those jokes were fine back then even blip.tv agreed but the trolls had to
Ruin it!”

It’s like everyone loves his khan tent but the trolls always ruin it so companies have to tell Phil “we love your khantent food but the trolls are making you look bad”

Probably the four different retcons he did of wanting to slap the 11-year old in VRchat. There were so many versions of it in so little time, you'd have to be a completely lobotomized person to not notice something's not quite right. Went from literally saying "Good, i'm finally away from this annoying little bitch of a child who i would have slapped in real life" to "Oh my god, the kids' parents should have slapped the kid for acting so immature!".
Didn’t he get a temp ban for tahxic behavior after that? It’s no wonder Phil has become such a pc/low key cuck. The only time
You can feel the real/old dsp wanting to come out is when a black person comes on stream and he starts biting his fingers. You know inside he’s thinking “it’s time nigga!”

"That was my depression, pulling me out of a happy moment in my life."
Phil can only cure his depression with
$100 tips

Also all his lies/explanation for why John Rambo and Howard stopped spending time with him, which was eventually blow out by a long explanation by them "clearing the air" and showing him as a scumbag who uses his friends for monetary gain and rips them off.
I finally got around to watching the full video and damn these guys really put up with so much shit from him. He’s lucky they stuck around and somehow they’re the bad guys just cuz John wanted time to find himself instead of letting pigroach milk him for money
 

Sparkletor

kiwifarms.net
I personally like the car crash story. Sometimes it was a hit and run. Sometimes it caused his back injury. Sometimes he almost died. There were a bunch of people standing around who witnessed it, yet it was on the highway. Half of Phil's face got burned, but there are no scars. Aireaide Lord claims Phil told him he sued the driver who hit him, but Phil never got hit and they never found the other driver.

Why was Phil going slow in the passing lane? How does changing lanes cause someone to lose control? How were there witnesses standing around on the highway? How did Phil afford the hospital seeing as just walking into the doctor's office costs $5000?
 

twattycake

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
His damage control attempts after Leanna wound up in the hospital. I'm sure there were more retcons, but in about 2 weeks he revised it from "I dropped everything and took an Uber to be with her" to "Just give her an Advil and kick her out of the ambulance" to "We were already broken up by then and she hadn't moved out already because reasons" to not so subtly hinting she was abusing him (never mind he'd been trying to poach Katherine from "Subaru Man" for about a half-year at that point).


I personally like the car crash story. Sometimes it was a hit and run. Sometimes it caused his back injury. Sometimes he almost died. There were a bunch of people standing around who witnessed it, yet it was on the highway. Half of Phil's face got burned, but there are no scars. Aireaide Lord claims Phil told him he sued the driver who hit him, but Phil never got hit and they never found the other driver.
Oh yeah the back injury...... either it's congenital, a car accident, or flag football depending on the narrative, and the surgery to fix it may or may not exist and may or may not have made things worse for his mother when she had it. Then came the "magic Seattle air cured my back" saga, which ended about 5 seconds after he needed a new excuse to e-beg.

This should come as no surprise but Phil is most likely lying about suing the other driver as he does not show up in the Connecticut court system's records, either as a plaintiff or a defendant.
 
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HerrKlicks

negative detractor meme!
kiwifarms.net
I always enjoy the contrast of him going from bragging about his CT kahndo to retconning it like he was living in 1990 Yugoslavia.

My fav phrases? When he lists all the steps of a simple task and gems like 'the washing of dishes' come from it. Also when he talks about relaxing. It's his favorite thing.
 

Cyber Bowling

kiwifarms.net
I was going to go with the car story but it was already covered in good detail. So instead, I'll go with a recent phrase of Phil from his Judgement streams. It isn't one phrase specifically, but just the general viewset of him refusing to do the dating mechanics because he has a real life wife, so he doesn't need to get that from a game. All he had to do was say he wanted to get on with the main story or something, but instead he came up with the weirdest possible reason, which really came as a slap to the face to his audience since he was implying the only people who would want to do those quests were lonely losers.

Something that is relatively small Phil does but for whatever reason always amuses me is how often he uses "LIVE" in his schedule. It is unnecessary for so many reasons, not the last of which streaming is almost always live and at the very top of the schedule he already mentions all the streams are live, yet he continues to put "LIVE" in each schedule slot. The extra amusing part is he sometimes misses it, especially when he's doing a marathon or some other big event, so if you're using pigroach logic those events must actually be prerecorded because they aren't LIVE PREMIERE

Another vague little phrase I find amusing is how he'll talk about how unfair/shitty a game is at the end of his stream, but then immediately follow it up with a FakeSydePhil positive tweet advertising the "fun" YouTube video.
 

SkippyLongbottom

kiwifarms.net
Something that is relatively small Phil does but for whatever reason always amuses me is how often he uses "LIVE" in his schedule. It is unnecessary for so many reasons, not the last of which streaming is almost always live and at the very top of the schedule he already mentions all the streams are live, yet he continues to put "LIVE" in each schedule slot. The extra amusing part is he sometimes misses it, especially when he's doing a marathon or some other big event, so if you're using pigroach logic those events must actually be prerecorded because they aren't LIVE PREMIERE
Ah yes Phil's "redundant redundancy" is very amusing sometimes. Can't remember off the top of my head on other phrases but you will know it when you hear it.

Also another thing with putting LIVE in his title as he does with his MARATHON, is that they really are just a normal day of streaming but with the same amount of prestream time, the piss break after, the break two hours in or at 2 o'clock P.M. his time, but with the bonus of taking even more tiny breaks in between games and what not.

The way he just molds words and descriptors to what he wants it to be is just really something. You cannot call it a marathon if it's just the same shit but with a different game. Anything that he decides to play that isn't AAA releases or his Brown Bricks bullshit chill streams is considered a special event marathon for him.