Favorite Historical Figures or Stories -

[Marco Fucko]

I was going to post this in Deep Thoughts but I figure it's not really appropriate.

Title is pretty self-explanatory, there's no real limits. They can be your favorite because they were a total baller and you idolize them, or just that the story itself fascinates you for whatever reason.

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I'll open the thread with Macbeth MacFinlay, the man the play was (loosely) based on. Although Shakespeare used Holinshed's Chronicles, a historical text of his period, since the Chronicles not only mentioned things like fairies but also did not include a description of Macbeth as a ruler, the play itself was very much improvisational in writing.

The real Macbeth is often made to be the cousin of Duncan I, who contrary to the play in question, died at age 39 and was not assassinated in his sleep. Rather, Duncan marched his forces on Moray, Macbeth's territory, and was killed in the ensuing battle in 1040. Duncan's wife and sons fled to northern England after this.

He became High King of Alba (King of Scotland) and had to put down Duncan's father in battle as well due to him resisting his claim. Duncan's father Crínán dies in 1045. According to Marianus Scotus, an Irish monk of the time, Macbeth made a pilgrimage to Rome in 1050.

In 1052, he had harbored Norman exiles and on the order of Edward the Confessor was invaded by the elder Siward in 1054, the Earl of Northumbria. As a result of this invasion, a separate Malcolm from the Malcolm III of the play and of history was reinstated as King of Strathclyde.

Macbeth's rule ended in 1057. Malcolm III, Duncan I's son, clashed with Macbeth in Mounth, where Macbeth was wounded. He fled to Scone and was wounded again and died on August 15th of 1057, one day after the anniversary of when Duncan had died in 1040. His wife's son (lol) Lulach succeeded him for 8 months before being assassinated, wherein Malcolm III took the throne in 1058 and ruled until his death in 1093 at the age of 62.

Spoiler: Basic bitch map

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Anyway, post your favorites and have fun.

>inb4 Hitler

 

[ForgedBlades]

I've always been fascinated by the history of Mormonism. Especially the life of Joseph Smith, his execution, and just the story behind the religion moving westward. It's really interesting to read up on if you get the chance. There's a great biography of Smith titled Rough Stone Rolling and even though it's written through the lens of Mormonism and apologetic to the religion itself, it's still one of the best books I've ever read.

I think American westward expansion is my favorite historical period. Just so much great shit. Railroads, the gold rush, homesteading, Cowboys, Injuns. It's all great.

 

[Frank D'arbo]

Elizabeth Báthory

 

[Maxliam]

Adolf Hitler, he did nothing wrong except lose the war.

 

[SelmaHendersen]

Catherine the Great and Vlad Dracula are both some of my favorites! Vlad Dracula's reputation is violent to say the least, and he gave those Muslims experiences beyond pleasure and pain.

 

[FierceBrosnan]

Catherine the Great and Vlad Dracula are both some of my favorites! Vlad Dracula's reputation is violent to say the least, and he gave those Muslims experiences beyond pleasure and pain.

Vlad was one brutal motherfucker. He didn't just remove kebab...he made them.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

After hearing George Bush's Axis of Evil speech when I was a preteen, I became obsessed with anything related to North and South Korea, Korean history, culture and the Korean people in general. And no, I'm not talking about the "Korean wave."

 

[ProgKing of the North]

Giles Corey, who was pressed to death during the Salem Witch Trials because he refused to enter a plea. If he confessed, he would be stripped of his land and his descendants couldn’t inherit. If he plead not guilty, he’d be found guilty, stripped of his land, and his descendants couldn’t inherit. Without entering a plea at all, however, he never lost his land and his descendants could inherit. Every time he was asked if he wanted to confess he simply replied “more weight”.

 

[Maxliam]

Giles Corey, who was pressed to death during the Salem Witch Trials because he refused to enter a plea. If he confessed, he would be stripped of his land and his descendants couldn’t inherit. If he plead not guilty, he’d be found guilty, stripped of his land, and his descendants couldn’t inherit. Without entering a plea at all, however, he never lost his land and his descendants could inherit. Every time he was asked if he wanted to confess he simply replied “more weight”.

He was guilty....of not giving a fuck.

Catherine the Great and Vlad Dracula are both some of my favorites! Vlad Dracula's reputation is violent to say the least, and he gave those Muslims experiences beyond pleasure and pain.

Catherine the Great was a horse fucker tho, bro.

 

[SelmaHendersen]

Catherine the Great was a horse fucker tho, bro.

Many great historical figures were promiscuous and/or had odd sexual habits; you have to take the good with the bad.

 

[Maxliam]

Many great historical figures were promiscuous and/or had odd sexual habits; you have to take the good with the bad.

I didn't say it was bad, just saying she fucked horses. I mean my nickname is the black stallion because I'm a big dicked nigger.

 

[Kiwi Jeff]

There were some really intense people in the early 1900s that you probably wouldn't see today. Here's three that I've always found fascinating:
Simo Häyhä aka the White Death
Adrian Carton de Wiart
Jack Churchill

 

[Maxliam]

There were some really intense people in the early 1900s that you probably wouldn't see today. Here's three that I've always found fascinating:
Simo Häyhä aka the White Death
Adrian Carton de Wiart
Jack Churchill

My favorite thing about Churchill is:

Churchill was said to be unhappy with the sudden end of the war, saying: "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!"

That's fucking gangster as fuck. The guy loved war.

 

[Guts Gets Some]

I always thought Abe Lincoln was a pretty cool guy. Eh united the country and didn't afraid of anything; cuz he died before it resolved.

 

[Maxliam]

I always thought Abe Lincoln was a pretty cool guy. Eh united the country and didn't afraid of anything; cuz he died before it resolved.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus!

 

[Zaragoza]

I've always been fascinated by the history of Mormonism. Especially the life of Joseph Smith, his execution, and just the story behind the religion moving westward. It's really interesting to read up on if you get the chance. There's a great biography of Smith titled Rough Stone Rolling and even though it's written through the lens of Mormonism and apologetic to the religion itself, it's still one of the best books I've ever read.

Joseph reminds me a lot of the Prophet Muhammad too, everything from being exiled, coming into contact with an angel, and having similar conflicts between believers and non believers (minus surviving and spreading an empire), and the core beliefs of the religion is some thoughts I always like to compare between Islam and Mormonism. Also, this video is obligatory too:

 

[Maxliam]

His life is a great lesson of how the bumps on the way of your goals and succeed can be defeated by changing your path a bit and you can make your way to the history books in a way or another.

Love him or hate him, whenever you see a VW on the road, remember he helped it happen. That and getting the US out of the Great Depression and making us the dominate country on the planet. God bless Adolf Hitler.

 

[Rand /pol/]

Ben Shapiro

 

[Outer Party Member]

View attachment 652400

Korea has ruined that image for me. Fuck PSY and Gangnam Style.

Most interesting figure would be Rasputin. He was a quack healer and cult priest who got intimate with the czar and czarina of Russia during early twentieth century, up to and during the First World War. With the promise of healing their sick son, he became a prominent figure from the peasant stock, a rare feat. This, of course, drew the ire of the nobility who were wise to his tricks. To be fair, he was a rather naughty man who would whip out his penis at pubs and say that he did things with the czarina (if the rumors were true).

One cold snowy winter day in 1916, Rasputin’s luck ran out. While the czar was getting whipped by the Central Powers, a few of his relatives executed an assassination plot. The event that unfolded is akin to a scene from a Cohen Brothers black comedy film. The following comes from the account of Count Yusupov, the executor of the plot.

ACT I: Cyanide and Happiness

That night, Rasputin was ushered to the basement of Count Yusupov’s house, under the pretense of a party, and he was the first one there. The plotters were waiting upstairs to dispose of the body. They hatched a plan with the weapon of choice of many politicians. They laced cakes and wine with cynaide; because if there are no marks on the body, it can’t be foul play, right?

So Rasputin is in the basement, with “Yankee Doodle” playing in the background. The very effeminate Yusupov offers Rasputin some cake. Rasputin is reluctant and refuses, but after some social pressure, eats three of them. Yusupov keeps a conversation going, waiting for the poison to take effect, but as time passed, nothing happened. Getting nervous, Yusupov offers Rasputin the poisoned wine, a particular kind that Rasputin enjoyed very much. He drank three glasses, and yet nothing happened.

There is speculation that the poison was very old. The chemicals can break down to the point that the worst that can happen is getting very nauseous and vomiting, as was the case for the conspirators of the Black Hand, who assassinated Austria-Hungary’s Fran’s Ferdinand and inadvertently sparked the Great War.

ACT II: Last Rites

At this time, Yusupov was sweating bullets and excused himself upstairs. He panicked to the co-conspirators on what to do. Quickly thinking of a Plan B, they gave Yusupov a revolver and told him to make it quick. With six bullets to do the job, Yusupov calmed down and walked back downstairs.

There, Rasputin was drunk, but not dead. Yusupov, hiding his revolver, told Rasputin to go to the crucifix in the room and pray. Rasputin, aware of the situation, did so. After he finished his prayer, he was shot on the chest. Rasputin fell on the floor. With a sigh of relief, Yusupov told his comrades that the deed was done.

ACT III: The Cleanup

With their target taken care of, it was time to dispose of the body. They also wanted to divert suspicion that they just murdered a prominent figure in the Imperial Court. Using the coat and hat Rasputin had worn to the house, they drove a conspirator to Rasputin’s home as the holy man. Once that happened, it was time to take care of the body.

Around this time, Yusupov was reasonably suspicious that Rasputin was actually magical and wasn’t dead yet. He went downstairs to check on the body. Suddenly, Rasputin jumped up and attacked Yusupov. Yusupov managed to escape from the struggle and ran upstairs for help.

As he went up to alert his co-conspirators, Rasputin managed to follow him and leave the house, screaming bloody murder. Witnessing what just happened, all of them rushed outside to stop the seemingly invincible madman. Rasputin had made it all the way to the courtyard when he was shot again. This bullet was effective as Rasputin fell in a snowbank. For added insurance, they shot him point-blank in the forehead. They wrapped the body and threw him in the river.

Contrary to legend, there wasn’t any water in his lungs, so he didn’t die by drowning. Also, his penis was left intact and the trauma came from the river, not a beating.

ACT IV: Aftermath

So, the degenerate Rasputin is dead. With his death, the reputation of the House Of Romanov was restored, right? On the contrary, the assassination was the straw that broke Imperial Russia’s back. While Rasputin was a vile man, the peasants loved him. It was much easier to relate with a peasant holy man that it was with a rich aristocrat. He was the man that many people felt was the only thing connecting the czar with his subjects. And, in conjunction with losing the Eastern Front and the rise of Marxism, it was enough for people to rebel and overthrow the government. The rest is history. The Romanov Dynasty was decimated, and the Russian Empire became the Soviet Union.

 

[Jerri's Kid]

I like Aphra Behn. I used to study some of her plays and I'm fond of The Rover.

She was also a spy for the Crown so that's pretty cool.