Favorite Lolcow traits? -

[Hawker Hurricane]

Lurking the lolcow threads, I've noticed a lot of lolcows have the same or similar recurring traits, be it they are excessively devoted to pop culture, or they have a refusal to humbly accept even the most constructive of criticism. I was wondering what some of your favorite common themes in lolcows are?
To get things started: Mine is when they face criticism with an "I reject your reality and substitute my own." mentality.

 

[CatParty]

They love poo

 

[Morbid Boredom]

They never quit. No matter how badly they're hurting themselves, no matter how little cost it would be to let their detractors "win", they never quit.

In a good person, it would be admirable.

 

[Clown Doll]

To get things started: Mine is when they face criticism with an "I reject your reality and substitute my own." mentality.

I would have to agree. I don't often even consider people Lolcows if there isn't an aspect of Tard Rage or failed damage control and most often the whole failed damage control thing ends up being the funniest part of the lolcows. Slight exceptions being CWC and Jace because they could very well be funny enough on their own, but in the case of Christian Weston Chandler, the tard raging has produced close to 33% of the most memorable moments.

 

[Pine Tar]

Arrogance, refusal to change, getting BLANGRY at criticism and being all-around lazy fucks.

Seriously, I have yet to see a lolcow who has a full-time job and live on their own. Maybe because those people don't have time for Internet bullshit?

 

[butt in trouble]

I would have to say how open they are in regard to divulging embarrassing, personal, disgusting and laughable details about themselves. Some of them call it honesty. Some of them call it pride. But when people laugh about something they've divulged they get angry. Almost as if in Chris' telling people you have dirty crapped briefs demands respect. Or in Jace's case people would totally understand why you've barricaded yourself in your room and are holding up a piss bag for all the world to see. And Moleman's white knighting of pedophiles totally does not imply anything about him at all.

 

[Abethedemon]

I would say their content they write. Chris would be funny without Sonichu, but he would lose a vital part of what makes him so weird. The Golden Knight would just be some weird dude if it weren't for his Deviantart. What makes Gabe Navarro so interesting is his wacky ass idea for a series. It also produces some high quality humour.

 

[Watcher]

Sonic

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

Personally?

I've come to love the fact that there is apparently no ground floor in hell.

Whenever Jace or Chris pulls what I think is the most dumbass stunt in human history- the most moronic piece of end-game bugfuckery conceivable....they just keep topping themselves.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

I love their creativity or lack there of.

When they're creative it's always in the wrong way, like Chris' unsolicited look into the sex lives of Sonichu. Nobody wanted to know how Sonichu gets an erection - but Chris thought of it anyway!

 

[hm yeah]

- ARTISTIC
-- no matter how derivative. i gotta admire what work ethic they have.
- give you a whole look all the way into their strange brains
- surreal, wacky, and loving it

and most importantly

- they make me laugh

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I was thinking about making a "stuff lolcows like" thread simililar to "stuff white people like" but it looks like I got beat to it:

1. Aside from Jace, most lolcows are straight edge and hate substance abuse with a passion.
2. Despite this, they have a very unhealthy lifestyle, especially when it comes to a diet that doesn't have much variety. Other than vegan SJWs, they shy away from vegetables. Most of them eat TV dinners and McDonalds every day.
3. As a result, lolcows tend to be either emaciated or obese from being under/malnourished.
4. lolcows also drink a shitload of pop, and seem to have a particular affinity for the many varieties of mountain dew.
5. Lack of hygiene is a big one. They usually consider axe body spray to be an acceptable substitute to showering.
6. Most of them are chronically unemployed and rely on government assitance/e-begging/or their parents to get by.
7. Speaking about parents, there are plenty of people on the autism spectrum or have disabilities/mental health problems who are functional members of society that don't make an ass of themselves on the internet. One of the biggest linking traits of lolcows is shitty parenting. Nick Bate's family doesn't believe in mental illness and think if they pray enough, their son will stop smearing semen-encrusted feces all over his apartment. Jace has Gail, who treats him like he's 20 years younger than his actual age. There's the infamous Borb, and the Golden Knight's mother seems to be just as inbred and delusional as he is and enables his shitty behavior.
8. Rampant homophobia despite many of them having gender issues.
9. The desire to be famous for the sake of people liking them and being motivated to create art/literature/music just because they want to be famous rather than a genuine interest in those things.
10. Aforementioned works usually have a Mary Sue/Marty Stu self-insert, usually in the starring role.

 

[Anustart]

I've always had a soft spot for lolcows with all-consuming fixations on random as hell fictional characters no one but them cares about.

 

[BT 075]

Ridiculously high self-confidence in their own limited abilities. Can be both obnoxious and endearing at the same time.

 

[Puranjin]

I like the ones where they write in (what they think, anyway) an 'eloquent' register, while buffooning it up and mixing it with inappropriate phrased and malapropisms. It's even better when the really uppity type (GK, our new bud TJ, etc) sound/look the complete opposite of what they want to portray in real life.

 

[Organic Fapcup]

Their unpredictability. It's probably one of the more important traits in making a lolcow funny. At least in my opinion.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Not universal to all lolcows but absolutely very consistent: lolcows who consider themselves creative always want to avoid discussing their creative works. You get them in a thread and ask "What was your inspiration for XYZ?" and they ignore you.

Examples: Chris, Joe Cracker, TJChurch

Why do you suppose this is?

 

[Foulmouth]

Not universal to all lolcows but absolutely very consistent: lolcows who consider themselves creative always want to avoid discussing their creative works. You get them in a thread and ask "What was your inspiration for XYZ?" and they ignore you.

Examples: Chris, Joe Cracker, TJChurch

Why do you suppose this is?

Because generally they rip other peoples stuff off and mix it together ?

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

Not universal to all lolcows but absolutely very consistent: lolcows who consider themselves creative always want to avoid discussing their creative works. You get them in a thread and ask "What was your inspiration for XYZ?" and they ignore you.

Examples: Chris, Joe Cracker, TJChurch

Why do you suppose this is?

I think it's because on some level they know it's not very good, and are afraid of having to accept the truth to that... That or they just don't wanna tell us because we're dang dirty trolls.

 

[ASoulMan]

How a lot of them dislike Chris or other lolcows (Mylar's hate for CoolDudeClem for example), yet they share similar characteristics with each other. Examples include:

- Moleman9000 referring to himself as the "anti-CWC". Not only is he the creator of Nava-verse, but his artwork and storytelling has proven to be just as bad, if not worse, than CWC's Sonichu. Let's not forget how he takes kindly to "cyberbullies".

- Jay Geis hates CWC, to the point that he began filtering out his name from his streams. Ironically, Jay thinks that he'll get famous from making Myth of the Legendary Warrior and Hero Team, two comics that have shown to be more poorly drawn and written than Sonichu. He also lives with his mother, and also like Chris, has no conversational filter whatsoever.

Another interesting trait about lolcows is how they think they can get rid of their trolls/haters by taking the fight to them. Only to have the whole thing backfire on them.